Run 2166 - 5 May 2024
Kalamunda Water Park carpark (also Rollerama)
Dosh and Wacuda
It was a good run with many checks. Little Weed forgot her shoes. Whiter Pointer stashed his shopping behind a rock.
That's all I have time for. I'll be back. I promise.
-El Keeno
Run: 2165 – 28 April 2024
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Road, Walliston
Head Count: Twenty one and four dogs
The Trail: A Family Affair
Some people will go to extreme lengths to avoid their responsibilities. SNB, the nominated hare,
seems to prefer to work 12 hours pd, seven days pw in a noisy Singaporean shipyard rather than set
a hash trail. So, keeping it in the family, Crusher and Rock Bottom stumped up to save the day. Did
we therefore deserve to have our trail sabotaged by some local wags who no doubt thought it
awfully funny to obliterate the markings? We were not amused but experienced hashers don’t get
lost, they follow their noses and successfully sniff out the drink stop.
The Circle
Another family connection, Snake Charmer commented favourably on the walk. He didn’t dare do
otherwise, his inheritance was at stake. Wacuda thought it was a good run and despite the missing
markings, he didn’t get lost.
Charges
Slippery Nuts stepped forward to deputise as RA. He claimed he was press-ganged by Pink Bits who
protested that we function as a democratic club. She lost that argument and took a DD.
Virgin hashers, Chris (son of Crusher) and Rihanna experienced their first DD. They’re
undecided as to whether they’ll return! I know it’s not a beverage of choice but is it so bad?
Biggus Dickus for absenting himself from the circle to use his phone.
Passiona - SCB, he was the first to arrive at the drink stop.
Deliverance - LTNS
Leapfrog charged El Keeno for taking two new T shirts when he’d only paid for one.
Rubber Duckie - for front running. What an athlete!
Pink Bits charged Leapfrog for not paying attention then, determined not to vacate centre
stage, insisted on telling a bad joke. Not to be outdone, Pole Dancer told a mercifully short
joke.
Pole Dancer and Belt Up were wished a safe trip and a happy holiday during their nine week
absence
General Business
Dosh and Wacuda are setting next week’s run which will kick off from the Kalamunda swimming
pool.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Road, Walliston
Head Count: Twenty one and four dogs
The Trail: A Family Affair
Some people will go to extreme lengths to avoid their responsibilities. SNB, the nominated hare,
seems to prefer to work 12 hours pd, seven days pw in a noisy Singaporean shipyard rather than set
a hash trail. So, keeping it in the family, Crusher and Rock Bottom stumped up to save the day. Did
we therefore deserve to have our trail sabotaged by some local wags who no doubt thought it
awfully funny to obliterate the markings? We were not amused but experienced hashers don’t get
lost, they follow their noses and successfully sniff out the drink stop.
The Circle
Another family connection, Snake Charmer commented favourably on the walk. He didn’t dare do
otherwise, his inheritance was at stake. Wacuda thought it was a good run and despite the missing
markings, he didn’t get lost.
Charges
Slippery Nuts stepped forward to deputise as RA. He claimed he was press-ganged by Pink Bits who
protested that we function as a democratic club. She lost that argument and took a DD.
Virgin hashers, Chris (son of Crusher) and Rihanna experienced their first DD. They’re
undecided as to whether they’ll return! I know it’s not a beverage of choice but is it so bad?
Biggus Dickus for absenting himself from the circle to use his phone.
Passiona - SCB, he was the first to arrive at the drink stop.
Deliverance - LTNS
Leapfrog charged El Keeno for taking two new T shirts when he’d only paid for one.
Rubber Duckie - for front running. What an athlete!
Pink Bits charged Leapfrog for not paying attention then, determined not to vacate centre
stage, insisted on telling a bad joke. Not to be outdone, Pole Dancer told a mercifully short
joke.
Pole Dancer and Belt Up were wished a safe trip and a happy holiday during their nine week
absence
General Business
Dosh and Wacuda are setting next week’s run which will kick off from the Kalamunda swimming
pool.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2164 – 21 April 2024
Hare: Skippy
Location: Swan View train station
Head Count: Thirty two plus six dogs
The Trail
“It’s my birthday and I’ll set a crap run if I want to” was the hare’s defence after walkers and runners
made a few disparaging comments. I put it down to the fact that we’re so accustomed to brilliant
trails, we think we have to find a detail or two to whinge about. After all, we don’t want our hares to
become too complacent. Great views, great drink stop, perfect weather – never mind the trail.
Wacuda threw the runners into confusion. They thought he’d lost trail so backtracked to try to find
him. He had lost trail but demonstrated his resourcefulness by returning via the walk trail and was
back at base long before the runners gave up searching for him. Same old!
The Circle
Leapfrog was busy flogging T shirts, simultaneously telling us she’d made a birthday cake for Skippy
who eventually got us gathered into a sort of circle then, in his capacity as hare, awarded himself a
drink before handing over to stand-in RA, Pink Bits
Charges
White Pointer for being late
Rubber Duckie for lurking
Wacuda, Biggus Dickus, Hawkeye and Pullet - LTNS
GPS for behaviour unbecoming to a hasher, an enlightened man or anyone really. He
protested that he’s an old-fashioned geyser at heart and happy for Zippit to fetch and carry
for him.
Mental charged Leapfrog for not knowing how old Skippy was – maybe 50, 53? In fact 35.
Too much to expect of a mother of three.
The question arose – who drank all the champagne at the drink stop. Several possible
culprits were suggested - Little Weed, Pink Bits, Pole Dancer? No one owned up, in fact all
protested their innocence but Little Weed took the rap.
While Dripper is swanning around Europe, Pink Bits suggested a rotating RA and immediately
dobbed Slippery in for next week. He looked mildly surprised.
Food followed. Thanks once again to Light My Fire for her excellent nosh and to Leapfrog for the
cake.
General Business
Yes well, the designated hare for next week is SNB, provided he returns from Singapore in time. If
not, the long-suffering Crusher and Rock Bottom will deputise. The location is Alan Anderson Park,
Lawnbrook Rd, Walliston.
We need hares, there are many looming gaps on the trail list.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Skippy
Location: Swan View train station
Head Count: Thirty two plus six dogs
The Trail
“It’s my birthday and I’ll set a crap run if I want to” was the hare’s defence after walkers and runners
made a few disparaging comments. I put it down to the fact that we’re so accustomed to brilliant
trails, we think we have to find a detail or two to whinge about. After all, we don’t want our hares to
become too complacent. Great views, great drink stop, perfect weather – never mind the trail.
Wacuda threw the runners into confusion. They thought he’d lost trail so backtracked to try to find
him. He had lost trail but demonstrated his resourcefulness by returning via the walk trail and was
back at base long before the runners gave up searching for him. Same old!
The Circle
Leapfrog was busy flogging T shirts, simultaneously telling us she’d made a birthday cake for Skippy
who eventually got us gathered into a sort of circle then, in his capacity as hare, awarded himself a
drink before handing over to stand-in RA, Pink Bits
Charges
White Pointer for being late
Rubber Duckie for lurking
Wacuda, Biggus Dickus, Hawkeye and Pullet - LTNS
GPS for behaviour unbecoming to a hasher, an enlightened man or anyone really. He
protested that he’s an old-fashioned geyser at heart and happy for Zippit to fetch and carry
for him.
Mental charged Leapfrog for not knowing how old Skippy was – maybe 50, 53? In fact 35.
Too much to expect of a mother of three.
The question arose – who drank all the champagne at the drink stop. Several possible
culprits were suggested - Little Weed, Pink Bits, Pole Dancer? No one owned up, in fact all
protested their innocence but Little Weed took the rap.
While Dripper is swanning around Europe, Pink Bits suggested a rotating RA and immediately
dobbed Slippery in for next week. He looked mildly surprised.
Food followed. Thanks once again to Light My Fire for her excellent nosh and to Leapfrog for the
cake.
General Business
Yes well, the designated hare for next week is SNB, provided he returns from Singapore in time. If
not, the long-suffering Crusher and Rock Bottom will deputise. The location is Alan Anderson Park,
Lawnbrook Rd, Walliston.
We need hares, there are many looming gaps on the trail list.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
14/4/24 JOINT RUN WITH BUSH HASH AT KALAMUNDA
The concept behind this run (as understood by Hills Hash) was that Bush
Hash would set the walker’s trail and Hills Hash the runner’s trail. This may or
may not be correct. Passiona and Dripper apparently turned up to jointly set
their part but in an unfortunate note found Dave the Pom was at a ukulele
lesson. Things could have been worse, he could have been at a banjo lesson.
Somehow, all trails were set.
There were big mobs from multiple Hashes. Around 50 people and 8 dogs. I
spotted T shirts from Hamersley, Harriettes, South of Perth, Perth, Freo and
Bush Hash. There were probably more.
In their briefing Passiona and Dripper mentioned the run had multiple bad
features. They were therefore expecting some robust complaints.
The walk was steep but short which brought us to the well equipped drink
stop rather quickly. Most walkers lingered for quite a period but eventually
gave up waiting for the runners and headed back to the start. Crusher was
more diligent and did 3 circuits of the walk trail.
My recollection of the period after most people returned involved lots of food,
people and noise. This eventually morphed into some sort of circle although a
a breakout or subsidiary circle seemed to keep going throughout. Someone
noted we were still without “A big Swiss guy” who was out in the bush
somewhere.
Various Down Downs:
The Hares-the run was apparently hard work
Dave the Pom for being at his ukulele lesson and also for not going on the
run.
Where’s Wally and Headlight for following Dripper who didn’t know where he
was going .
Leapfrog for rock shopping
Pink Bits for hot body parts
After nearly 2 hours on the trail the missing “Big Swiss Guy” turned up. He
was unfazed. So was everyone else.
On On
Downhill.
The concept behind this run (as understood by Hills Hash) was that Bush
Hash would set the walker’s trail and Hills Hash the runner’s trail. This may or
may not be correct. Passiona and Dripper apparently turned up to jointly set
their part but in an unfortunate note found Dave the Pom was at a ukulele
lesson. Things could have been worse, he could have been at a banjo lesson.
Somehow, all trails were set.
There were big mobs from multiple Hashes. Around 50 people and 8 dogs. I
spotted T shirts from Hamersley, Harriettes, South of Perth, Perth, Freo and
Bush Hash. There were probably more.
In their briefing Passiona and Dripper mentioned the run had multiple bad
features. They were therefore expecting some robust complaints.
The walk was steep but short which brought us to the well equipped drink
stop rather quickly. Most walkers lingered for quite a period but eventually
gave up waiting for the runners and headed back to the start. Crusher was
more diligent and did 3 circuits of the walk trail.
My recollection of the period after most people returned involved lots of food,
people and noise. This eventually morphed into some sort of circle although a
a breakout or subsidiary circle seemed to keep going throughout. Someone
noted we were still without “A big Swiss guy” who was out in the bush
somewhere.
Various Down Downs:
The Hares-the run was apparently hard work
Dave the Pom for being at his ukulele lesson and also for not going on the
run.
Where’s Wally and Headlight for following Dripper who didn’t know where he
was going .
Leapfrog for rock shopping
Pink Bits for hot body parts
After nearly 2 hours on the trail the missing “Big Swiss Guy” turned up. He
was unfazed. So was everyone else.
On On
Downhill.
7/4/24, PRENDRICK PARK, WILLETON.
Hares for this run were Wisey and Spackle. The location on the flats meant a
break from common routines for the primarily Hills residents.
The temperature was absurdly high for April-thirty seven degrees!
Nonetheless, 18 humans and 1 dog assembled for the briefing. We were
advised there was a Walker’s trail, a Runner’s trail and a drink stop back at
the starting point. Spackle noted that the area was extremely flat so the best
he could manage by way of hills was a very slight mound.
The trails worked extremely well. Fortunately they were based around a
series of parks and connecting green spaces which made the heat more
tolerable. Both groups sighted each other at various points as trails
overlapped and intersected. After about half the run, El Keeno decided to
change his status to just “El” so joined the walkers.
Franger was first back amongst the runners. He claimed many others hadn’t
run the full course. Warming to his theme, he was then suggesting runners
from the flats were being gypped in terms of recorded run numbers.
GPS called the circle at this point which was probably a good thing. The trails
were variously commented on as “a bit warm”, making good use of trees and
parks etc. Leapfrog particularly loved the many old trees.
Down downs/awards etc
Franger for “long time no see”
Someone got a 50 runs award-maybe Franger? (I forgot to write it
down)
Zippy 25 runs
Wisey 25 and 30 runs
El Keeno for being at the front of the pack, the back of the pack then
not seen till the end
Lookout for being carried and Dosh for being the carrier
Passiona, Franger and Waycuda for new shoes. This reflected a very
generous interpretation of “new” as extending all the way back to
Christmas.
GPS noted the very recent death of Wisey’s Mother ( aka Mother Duck). We
marked her loss with a period of silence.
On On
Downhill
Hares for this run were Wisey and Spackle. The location on the flats meant a
break from common routines for the primarily Hills residents.
The temperature was absurdly high for April-thirty seven degrees!
Nonetheless, 18 humans and 1 dog assembled for the briefing. We were
advised there was a Walker’s trail, a Runner’s trail and a drink stop back at
the starting point. Spackle noted that the area was extremely flat so the best
he could manage by way of hills was a very slight mound.
The trails worked extremely well. Fortunately they were based around a
series of parks and connecting green spaces which made the heat more
tolerable. Both groups sighted each other at various points as trails
overlapped and intersected. After about half the run, El Keeno decided to
change his status to just “El” so joined the walkers.
Franger was first back amongst the runners. He claimed many others hadn’t
run the full course. Warming to his theme, he was then suggesting runners
from the flats were being gypped in terms of recorded run numbers.
GPS called the circle at this point which was probably a good thing. The trails
were variously commented on as “a bit warm”, making good use of trees and
parks etc. Leapfrog particularly loved the many old trees.
Down downs/awards etc
Franger for “long time no see”
Someone got a 50 runs award-maybe Franger? (I forgot to write it
down)
Zippy 25 runs
Wisey 25 and 30 runs
El Keeno for being at the front of the pack, the back of the pack then
not seen till the end
Lookout for being carried and Dosh for being the carrier
Passiona, Franger and Waycuda for new shoes. This reflected a very
generous interpretation of “new” as extending all the way back to
Christmas.
GPS noted the very recent death of Wisey’s Mother ( aka Mother Duck). We
marked her loss with a period of silence.
On On
Downhill
1/3/24 Eastern Hills Senior High School carpark (Mt Helena)
A surprisingly large group of Hashers gathered for the last of our 5pm start time runs. Crusher’s
daughter and his Grandchildren made their annual Easter appearance. I didn’t bother noting the
number of humans but can report precisely there were 4 dogs. Three of these belonged to
Pickup Chick. Two of these were enormous beasts (not that we should be surprised by this).
What was most surprising was that the fact that PUC and Lady GaGa arrived ahead of the start
time. In a private conversation after the circle, PUC, noted that Gaylord the Pony and Captain
Pugwash had officially sanctioned Hash Handles. She felt her other dog should be called
Charlie the Horse so he didn’t feel left out. Given his size, I frankly wouldn’t argue against any
proposition as to what he wants, even if this seems to be outside normal administrative
channels. Admittedly, the last comment implies we do have administrative channels. We were
certainly demonstrating a very flat management structure on the day. Many of the usual
luminaries were away for Easter so Dripper filled in for everyone except the Hares and the Hash
Hacker.
At the briefing, El Keeno waved a package with a slight amount of flour remaining. I think the
essence was that he’d run out of flour whilst setting the run. Presumably he raided the pantry at
home for more supplies though this wasn’t clear. What was clear was that he intended to finish
setting parts of the run during the run. Maybe this was continuing the management theme with a
wander into the Japanese industrial system of “Just in Time” supply chains.Somehow this all
seemed to work for both runners and walkers. We all enjoyed travelling through very pleasant
sections of State Forest.
The Circle:
Down downs to EK for setting the trail and for exhorting his daughter to run the false
trails.
Crusher’s daughter and Grandchildren. I think for not being there the other 51 weeks of
the year.
Little Weed for a lengthy phone discussion whilst on the run.
Street Drinker for successfully tracking the footprints left by the hare.
The circle finished quickly then everyone got stuck into an absurd amount of Chocolate. This
included Chocolate Eggs filled with Bailey’s, Chocolate cake, Chocolate Eggs not filled with
Bailey’s plus some Hot Cross Buns.
On On
Downhill
A surprisingly large group of Hashers gathered for the last of our 5pm start time runs. Crusher’s
daughter and his Grandchildren made their annual Easter appearance. I didn’t bother noting the
number of humans but can report precisely there were 4 dogs. Three of these belonged to
Pickup Chick. Two of these were enormous beasts (not that we should be surprised by this).
What was most surprising was that the fact that PUC and Lady GaGa arrived ahead of the start
time. In a private conversation after the circle, PUC, noted that Gaylord the Pony and Captain
Pugwash had officially sanctioned Hash Handles. She felt her other dog should be called
Charlie the Horse so he didn’t feel left out. Given his size, I frankly wouldn’t argue against any
proposition as to what he wants, even if this seems to be outside normal administrative
channels. Admittedly, the last comment implies we do have administrative channels. We were
certainly demonstrating a very flat management structure on the day. Many of the usual
luminaries were away for Easter so Dripper filled in for everyone except the Hares and the Hash
Hacker.
At the briefing, El Keeno waved a package with a slight amount of flour remaining. I think the
essence was that he’d run out of flour whilst setting the run. Presumably he raided the pantry at
home for more supplies though this wasn’t clear. What was clear was that he intended to finish
setting parts of the run during the run. Maybe this was continuing the management theme with a
wander into the Japanese industrial system of “Just in Time” supply chains.Somehow this all
seemed to work for both runners and walkers. We all enjoyed travelling through very pleasant
sections of State Forest.
The Circle:
Down downs to EK for setting the trail and for exhorting his daughter to run the false
trails.
Crusher’s daughter and Grandchildren. I think for not being there the other 51 weeks of
the year.
Little Weed for a lengthy phone discussion whilst on the run.
Street Drinker for successfully tracking the footprints left by the hare.
The circle finished quickly then everyone got stuck into an absurd amount of Chocolate. This
included Chocolate Eggs filled with Bailey’s, Chocolate cake, Chocolate Eggs not filled with
Bailey’s plus some Hot Cross Buns.
On On
Downhill
Run 2160 24/03/24 - Dosh & Wacuda
Starting from the vast Lesmurdie Library parking area, this was new territory for Hills Hash.
Wacuda told us the run was about 6km not including the false trails!
Runners set off East and walker set off West but soon started crisscrossing.
After the first half dozen false trails, 6km went out the window.
A long run but a good one, could be a contender for Run of The Year.
The walk was on surprisingly flat bush trails, with clear markings but some walkers lost concentration from lots of talking and managed to short cut.
The circle was on the oval with the dogs chasing balls and the full moon rising behind the trees.
Welcome back to GPS, who found his way home from the land of the Long White Cloud.
Lurch and Miss Whiplash were accompanied by a big ball munching black Lab belong to a friend.
Flying Nun was presented with her 100th run mug even though it was only her 99th run!
On On Leap Frog and Passiona.
[ADDENDUM, from El keeno]
I was already leaaving early, but strained something in the bushes, so ended up walking the last 1/3 or so of the run. Definitely a solid contender for run of the year]
[AND bonus bits... from Pink Bits]
... So, said Pooh, what's going on here Eeyore ? Poor Eeyore was confused so asked Piglet ! Piglet, being wise, said ....
Listen here ... if the Hare's want us to park here, have the start there, move the splash wagon over there and finally have the circle miles away ... WELL THEY CAN ... End of the conversation !
A number of slightly bemused Hashers eventually gathered on a splendid Sunday afternoon. The Hares, DOSH and WACUDA gave directions and we set off on marked trails. Runners in the opposite direction to walkers. We were promised that it would be a relatively short run, with probably no hills.
It was a glorious afternoon, and walkers followed a set of W's which were well spaced and most of the walk was on bushy, shady tracks. There were no hills for a change !
Runners were not so lucky, they had a lot of prickly bush to contend with as well as a considerable amount of any available hills/dips !
We were finally directed to a pleasant seating arrangement in a shelter overlooking an oval. This is where the run ended and the circle began.
Everyone really enjoyed the run/walk so down downs for DOSH and WACUDA as well as accolades for the short-ish run (sorry runners)
We had a few other charges for things like talking, leaning and other misdemeanors but there was also a presentation (in true Hash style) for Flying Nun's 99th run with Hills Hash ! She has received a splendid mug to toast her future runs!
Skippy went on and on about the fact that we will be transitioning to a 4pm start soon ... BUT NOT YET ! Watch out for this vital bit of info !
There may have been some other bits of business such as letting everyone know about the South Of Perth Bunny Run, Taylor Park, Victoria Park on Thursday 26th March at 6.00pm but then it was time for our song as we watched the amazing full moon rising ! (maybe we should have sung *Bad Moon Rising*) Beautiful sunset at the same time, pink changing to red ..... We are lucky to live here in Perth Hills !
Guest Scribe (who wasn't expecting to scribe)
Starting from the vast Lesmurdie Library parking area, this was new territory for Hills Hash.
Wacuda told us the run was about 6km not including the false trails!
Runners set off East and walker set off West but soon started crisscrossing.
After the first half dozen false trails, 6km went out the window.
A long run but a good one, could be a contender for Run of The Year.
The walk was on surprisingly flat bush trails, with clear markings but some walkers lost concentration from lots of talking and managed to short cut.
The circle was on the oval with the dogs chasing balls and the full moon rising behind the trees.
Welcome back to GPS, who found his way home from the land of the Long White Cloud.
Lurch and Miss Whiplash were accompanied by a big ball munching black Lab belong to a friend.
Flying Nun was presented with her 100th run mug even though it was only her 99th run!
On On Leap Frog and Passiona.
[ADDENDUM, from El keeno]
I was already leaaving early, but strained something in the bushes, so ended up walking the last 1/3 or so of the run. Definitely a solid contender for run of the year]
[AND bonus bits... from Pink Bits]
... So, said Pooh, what's going on here Eeyore ? Poor Eeyore was confused so asked Piglet ! Piglet, being wise, said ....
Listen here ... if the Hare's want us to park here, have the start there, move the splash wagon over there and finally have the circle miles away ... WELL THEY CAN ... End of the conversation !
A number of slightly bemused Hashers eventually gathered on a splendid Sunday afternoon. The Hares, DOSH and WACUDA gave directions and we set off on marked trails. Runners in the opposite direction to walkers. We were promised that it would be a relatively short run, with probably no hills.
It was a glorious afternoon, and walkers followed a set of W's which were well spaced and most of the walk was on bushy, shady tracks. There were no hills for a change !
Runners were not so lucky, they had a lot of prickly bush to contend with as well as a considerable amount of any available hills/dips !
We were finally directed to a pleasant seating arrangement in a shelter overlooking an oval. This is where the run ended and the circle began.
Everyone really enjoyed the run/walk so down downs for DOSH and WACUDA as well as accolades for the short-ish run (sorry runners)
We had a few other charges for things like talking, leaning and other misdemeanors but there was also a presentation (in true Hash style) for Flying Nun's 99th run with Hills Hash ! She has received a splendid mug to toast her future runs!
Skippy went on and on about the fact that we will be transitioning to a 4pm start soon ... BUT NOT YET ! Watch out for this vital bit of info !
There may have been some other bits of business such as letting everyone know about the South Of Perth Bunny Run, Taylor Park, Victoria Park on Thursday 26th March at 6.00pm but then it was time for our song as we watched the amazing full moon rising ! (maybe we should have sung *Bad Moon Rising*) Beautiful sunset at the same time, pink changing to red ..... We are lucky to live here in Perth Hills !
Guest Scribe (who wasn't expecting to scribe)
Run 2159
ST PATRICK’S DAY RUN 17/3/24
The above is to be sure, to be sure.
On a non-repetitive note, we gathered at Morgan John Morgan reserve in Glen Forrest. Pretty
much everyone made some sort of effort to wear Green. Dosh was wearing a green coloured
grass skirt, something one always associates with Ireland. A certain amount of black was also
evident in conjunction with Guiness badging.
Attendance was 22 plus 2 dogs. White Pointer made one of his rare appearances. On later
reflection, it is amazing he didn’t score a down down in the circle for “Long time no see”.
Hares were Flying Nun (walk) and Passiona (run). In his briefing, Passiona advised there was a
lot of “non flat” territory. He also advised he had set two trails. The second had been set to
ccommodate a change of plan in Drink Stop location. Naturally, we only used the one with a
current drink stop.
Circle/down downs
Both run and walk trails were well regarded but the Hares still got a down down.
Madonna and Pink Bits for having a private mountain climbing discussion during the
circle.
Pink Bits and Slippery for the best Green outfits. Slippery seems to have a vast array of
dressup clothes for the valet to set out for him.
Bum Shuffler nominated Dosh for misleading her by advising she should always follow
the Horn. I think this ended up with down downs for both.
Then we had a naming:
Yes, the twins finally got Hash Handles. They are now known as BV1 and BV2. BV is short for
Book Vampire and refers to their voracious reading habits, sometimes during the circle. They
both looked somewhat relieved that the allocated names were not something much worse.
Most of the group then got into the important business of barbecuing dinner.
On On
Downhill
ST PATRICK’S DAY RUN 17/3/24
The above is to be sure, to be sure.
On a non-repetitive note, we gathered at Morgan John Morgan reserve in Glen Forrest. Pretty
much everyone made some sort of effort to wear Green. Dosh was wearing a green coloured
grass skirt, something one always associates with Ireland. A certain amount of black was also
evident in conjunction with Guiness badging.
Attendance was 22 plus 2 dogs. White Pointer made one of his rare appearances. On later
reflection, it is amazing he didn’t score a down down in the circle for “Long time no see”.
Hares were Flying Nun (walk) and Passiona (run). In his briefing, Passiona advised there was a
lot of “non flat” territory. He also advised he had set two trails. The second had been set to
ccommodate a change of plan in Drink Stop location. Naturally, we only used the one with a
current drink stop.
Circle/down downs
Both run and walk trails were well regarded but the Hares still got a down down.
Madonna and Pink Bits for having a private mountain climbing discussion during the
circle.
Pink Bits and Slippery for the best Green outfits. Slippery seems to have a vast array of
dressup clothes for the valet to set out for him.
Bum Shuffler nominated Dosh for misleading her by advising she should always follow
the Horn. I think this ended up with down downs for both.
Then we had a naming:
Yes, the twins finally got Hash Handles. They are now known as BV1 and BV2. BV is short for
Book Vampire and refers to their voracious reading habits, sometimes during the circle. They
both looked somewhat relieved that the allocated names were not something much worse.
Most of the group then got into the important business of barbecuing dinner.
On On
Downhill
Run 2158
BROWN PARK SWANVIEW 10/3/24
This trail was set by Dripper. There was a little online confusion about whether or
not we were supposed to be wearing green. However, green is the go for next
week,
Twenty one participants and 2 dogs assembled outside the sport centre. We knew
Skippy and GPS were not present. However, our management structures are so
tightly delineated that no one had any idea who was next in line and therefore
nominally in charge( as much as anyone ever is!). Passiona seemed to shout
louder than anyone else so took responsibility.
The hare advised there was a run and a walk trail. The latter was supposedly
3.3km. Dripper’s phone ran out of charge after setting the walk trail so he denied
any knowledge of the distance for the runners.
The walk trail was well marked and made good use of patches of bush and the
path of the old railway line. However, it did feel like more than the supposed 3.3
km.
At the circle/down downs:
Both run and walk trails were judged as a good effort though one of the walkers
made some sort of comment/complaint that the position of the sun hadn’t been
factored in. I don’t know what this was about-Heat? Navigation? Glare? As an
astronomer, Dripper should surely have been able to cue the sun appropriately.
Scooby got a down down for being so late returning that the circle was in full
swing. We had actually forgotten about him.
Scooby made some reference to a 190 metre false trail so I presume the hare got
a down down for that but I don’t remember it.
Passiona got a down down for shortcutting, He claimed he was only doing it for
the sake of his dog who is getting tired and slowing down.
In some sort of circular logic event, Little Weed got a down down for pouring the
largest down down ever.
New shoes for Dripper and Wacuda produced a pair of shoeys. They were then
joined by Pink Bits and Slippery. I have no idea what that was about but am
attributing it to the madness of crowds.
Rubber Ducky for wearing Green a week early.
Rock Bottom for thinking we had to wear Green because we were at Brown Park.
Passiona for not signing himself on.
Next run: Morgan John Morgan Park Glenforrest. Wear Green (yes really). BYO
BBQ.
On On Downhill.
BROWN PARK SWANVIEW 10/3/24
This trail was set by Dripper. There was a little online confusion about whether or
not we were supposed to be wearing green. However, green is the go for next
week,
Twenty one participants and 2 dogs assembled outside the sport centre. We knew
Skippy and GPS were not present. However, our management structures are so
tightly delineated that no one had any idea who was next in line and therefore
nominally in charge( as much as anyone ever is!). Passiona seemed to shout
louder than anyone else so took responsibility.
The hare advised there was a run and a walk trail. The latter was supposedly
3.3km. Dripper’s phone ran out of charge after setting the walk trail so he denied
any knowledge of the distance for the runners.
The walk trail was well marked and made good use of patches of bush and the
path of the old railway line. However, it did feel like more than the supposed 3.3
km.
At the circle/down downs:
Both run and walk trails were judged as a good effort though one of the walkers
made some sort of comment/complaint that the position of the sun hadn’t been
factored in. I don’t know what this was about-Heat? Navigation? Glare? As an
astronomer, Dripper should surely have been able to cue the sun appropriately.
Scooby got a down down for being so late returning that the circle was in full
swing. We had actually forgotten about him.
Scooby made some reference to a 190 metre false trail so I presume the hare got
a down down for that but I don’t remember it.
Passiona got a down down for shortcutting, He claimed he was only doing it for
the sake of his dog who is getting tired and slowing down.
In some sort of circular logic event, Little Weed got a down down for pouring the
largest down down ever.
New shoes for Dripper and Wacuda produced a pair of shoeys. They were then
joined by Pink Bits and Slippery. I have no idea what that was about but am
attributing it to the madness of crowds.
Rubber Ducky for wearing Green a week early.
Rock Bottom for thinking we had to wear Green because we were at Brown Park.
Passiona for not signing himself on.
Next run: Morgan John Morgan Park Glenforrest. Wear Green (yes really). BYO
BBQ.
On On Downhill.
Run: 2157 – 3 March 2024
Hare: Mental Disorder
Location: Garvey Park, Ascot
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Trail
Nobody complained about the punishing hills but they might have done because you know what
running along a flat river path is like. The flip side of flat is fast which probably accounts for the
number of very sweaty bodies at the finish and the bee line they made for the river. Spackle was
spotted floating on his back with a can of beer balanced on his belly. The runners covered nearly 8
kms and the walkers 4.5 which is above and beyond for an injured hare who reported that he was
twice asked by old ladies if he needed a lift. Oh the indignity! Apparently the drink stop was
excellent, only I didn’t find it. Mental also provided nibbles back at base.
The Circle
Little Weed declined to comment on the walk. GPS said that was because she short cut which she
denied. The jury is still out on that one. Spackle thought the run was excellent with lots of falsies and
checks and a great drink stop. Such a pity that I missed it. A well-deserved DD for Mental.
Charges
Bum Shuffler was awarded an accolade for her bright red face, almost luminous. Street
Drinker joined her on a short cutting charge.
Rubber Duckie, something to do with an empty milk carton? I missed that one.
Spackle was given an accolade for keeping Dripper honest.
Flying Nun and Little Weed can’t distinguish between coconut and cheese which is a
punishable offence and highlights their lack of sophistication.
Rock Bottom was charged for missing the drink stop. I may have alluded to this already. In
my defence, 200 metres is not 400 metres.
The twins, who remain nameless although we are working on suitable titles for them, were
charged for unsuitable hash behaviour like reading books.
Wisecrack took a DD for not introducing her considerably older sister, Liz.
General Business
Dripper is setting next week’s run at Brown Park in Swan View. He is going to Greece in May and is
seeking a volunteer to bring the drinks, otherwise we might all be thirsty. We probably need a
substitute monk as well but let’s deal with the drinks first. It’s called priorities.
Mental was promoting hashing in Albany on the weekend of 4 May. The theme is Star Wars
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Mental Disorder
Location: Garvey Park, Ascot
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Trail
Nobody complained about the punishing hills but they might have done because you know what
running along a flat river path is like. The flip side of flat is fast which probably accounts for the
number of very sweaty bodies at the finish and the bee line they made for the river. Spackle was
spotted floating on his back with a can of beer balanced on his belly. The runners covered nearly 8
kms and the walkers 4.5 which is above and beyond for an injured hare who reported that he was
twice asked by old ladies if he needed a lift. Oh the indignity! Apparently the drink stop was
excellent, only I didn’t find it. Mental also provided nibbles back at base.
The Circle
Little Weed declined to comment on the walk. GPS said that was because she short cut which she
denied. The jury is still out on that one. Spackle thought the run was excellent with lots of falsies and
checks and a great drink stop. Such a pity that I missed it. A well-deserved DD for Mental.
Charges
Bum Shuffler was awarded an accolade for her bright red face, almost luminous. Street
Drinker joined her on a short cutting charge.
Rubber Duckie, something to do with an empty milk carton? I missed that one.
Spackle was given an accolade for keeping Dripper honest.
Flying Nun and Little Weed can’t distinguish between coconut and cheese which is a
punishable offence and highlights their lack of sophistication.
Rock Bottom was charged for missing the drink stop. I may have alluded to this already. In
my defence, 200 metres is not 400 metres.
The twins, who remain nameless although we are working on suitable titles for them, were
charged for unsuitable hash behaviour like reading books.
Wisecrack took a DD for not introducing her considerably older sister, Liz.
General Business
Dripper is setting next week’s run at Brown Park in Swan View. He is going to Greece in May and is
seeking a volunteer to bring the drinks, otherwise we might all be thirsty. We probably need a
substitute monk as well but let’s deal with the drinks first. It’s called priorities.
Mental was promoting hashing in Albany on the weekend of 4 May. The theme is Star Wars
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2155 – 18 February 2024
Hare: Skippy
Location: Nelson Road, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty two or thereabouts and four dogs
The Trail: A Roller Coaster Ride
“You know what Darlington is like”, said the hare – HILLY! And so it was although he compensated by
setting a short walk, a long walk and a well-stocked drink stop. No such mercy was shown to the
runners, all four of them [EK: see what happens when I dont come??? I hope someone noticed I wasn't there.] . A small group of would-be short walkers (you know who you are) got as far
as the first hill which was about 50 metres from base and promptly turned back. Two of us plus Lily
did the short walk, several bravely tackled the long walk and the runners finally appeared after
about an hour and a half. Could this be a hot favourite for the best run of the year? Possibly not.
The Circle
Wacuda’s verdict on the run was not enough hills. Likewise Bum Shuffler thought the long walk was
excellent although ditto, not enough hills. Skippy awarded himself a DD
Charges
Scooby Doo for being LTNS
Bum Shuffler for cuddling a dog, which was not even hers, in the circle.
Pink Bits was given an accolade for being the keeper of the keys thus allowing early access
to the drink supply while Dripper was flogging himself through the bush.
Bum Shuffler charged Little Weed for using her phone on the walk.
Rubber Duckie signalled that he had a charge then was overcome by a senior’s moment and
couldn’t remember what it was. Perhaps he’d been out in the sun too long. Anyway, reverse
charge.
Skippy charged Street Drinker for dressing his twins in T shirts promoting beer. Okay, so our
haberdash supplies are low but we’re working on it.
Finally, last drink to Belt Up, another dog fondler and also a dog that wasn’t his.
General Business
Mental is setting next week’s run at Garvey Park. There was some confusion among people like Belt
Up who clearly never venture down from the hills. It’s on the riveside in Fauntleroy Ave, Ascot
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Skippy
Location: Nelson Road, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty two or thereabouts and four dogs
The Trail: A Roller Coaster Ride
“You know what Darlington is like”, said the hare – HILLY! And so it was although he compensated by
setting a short walk, a long walk and a well-stocked drink stop. No such mercy was shown to the
runners, all four of them [EK: see what happens when I dont come??? I hope someone noticed I wasn't there.] . A small group of would-be short walkers (you know who you are) got as far
as the first hill which was about 50 metres from base and promptly turned back. Two of us plus Lily
did the short walk, several bravely tackled the long walk and the runners finally appeared after
about an hour and a half. Could this be a hot favourite for the best run of the year? Possibly not.
The Circle
Wacuda’s verdict on the run was not enough hills. Likewise Bum Shuffler thought the long walk was
excellent although ditto, not enough hills. Skippy awarded himself a DD
Charges
Scooby Doo for being LTNS
Bum Shuffler for cuddling a dog, which was not even hers, in the circle.
Pink Bits was given an accolade for being the keeper of the keys thus allowing early access
to the drink supply while Dripper was flogging himself through the bush.
Bum Shuffler charged Little Weed for using her phone on the walk.
Rubber Duckie signalled that he had a charge then was overcome by a senior’s moment and
couldn’t remember what it was. Perhaps he’d been out in the sun too long. Anyway, reverse
charge.
Skippy charged Street Drinker for dressing his twins in T shirts promoting beer. Okay, so our
haberdash supplies are low but we’re working on it.
Finally, last drink to Belt Up, another dog fondler and also a dog that wasn’t his.
General Business
Mental is setting next week’s run at Garvey Park. There was some confusion among people like Belt
Up who clearly never venture down from the hills. It’s on the riveside in Fauntleroy Ave, Ascot
OnOn
Rock Bottom
PRESS OFF THE HOT: Lingerie Languor Lingers Longer
The run of 18/2/24 was set from Stirk Park in Kalamunda. Hares were Dosh and
Wacuda. Forecast maximum was 43 degrees.
A surprising number of Hashers turned up given the circumstances. Karri was the
sole canine. “Dave the Pom” from Bush Hash was also present. He had a photo of
himself abseiling down a CBD building. Dave raised $8500 for a charitable cause
by his efforts. He received some sponsorship within Hills Hash for this.
This was also a lingerie run as a kind of retrospective nod to Valentine’s Day.
Many males in the group turned up in red dresses, wigs, mascara etc. Those of
us who didn’t make the effort were confident Leapfrog would turn up with a bag of
padded bra’s etc and order us to put them on for a photo. And so it unfolded as did
the clothes. Many of us then reverted to normal trail gear. The more “hard core”
Hashers wore their dress up items on the trail.
The Hares advised they had set a run and a walk trail plus, importantly, a drink
stop. By this stage the temperature had “dropped” to 42 degrees. One does
wonder if someone has organised a pact with Satan to provide climate
management services.
The pack duly set off into the shimmering heat waves and shifting mirages. The
walker’s trail cleverly used patches of bush and connecting trails. Dosh later
advised she had sought to maximise shade for participants. This was appreciated.
We eventually approached Kalamunda township.
At this point, one of the walkers considered his professional and social future
within Kalamunda. This resulted in a hasty reversion to underlying running gear
and removal of makeup. This was a very sage choice as the drink stop turned out
to be the Kalamunda Pub. We had a table booked plus beer and non-alcoholic
jugs on order. The venue was very busy but no one appeared to take any notice of
our strangely dressed collection. Maybe it happens all the time there.
At the circle:
Pick Up Chick dobbed herself in for turning up to the run whilst forgetting she was
supposed to be at a party.
El Keeno praised the drink stop for the runners.
Rock Bottom accepted a 200 run (rustic pen) award on behalf of Crusher.
A junior Hasher “crab walked” through the middle of proceedings on her hands
and feet whilst bent backwards. There did not seem to be any particular reason for
this other than admirable flexibility and possible boredom with old people talking.
Passiona got a down down for exposing a surfeit of flesh in his backless little red
dress.
Pink Bits advised of a Fremantle Hash event (in Glenforrest) the following
Wednesday
“Light my Fire” then performed her recurrent miracle of producing masses of great
Chicken Curry and rice from the back of the mighty Hyundai Getz.
The temperature was still high so many of us remained in the park as darkness set
in. This was a pleasing development given I had decided beforehand on the
alliterative “headline” for this trip report. Avoiding excessive manipulation of the
facts is probably a good aspirational goal.
On On
Downhill.
The run of 18/2/24 was set from Stirk Park in Kalamunda. Hares were Dosh and
Wacuda. Forecast maximum was 43 degrees.
A surprising number of Hashers turned up given the circumstances. Karri was the
sole canine. “Dave the Pom” from Bush Hash was also present. He had a photo of
himself abseiling down a CBD building. Dave raised $8500 for a charitable cause
by his efforts. He received some sponsorship within Hills Hash for this.
This was also a lingerie run as a kind of retrospective nod to Valentine’s Day.
Many males in the group turned up in red dresses, wigs, mascara etc. Those of
us who didn’t make the effort were confident Leapfrog would turn up with a bag of
padded bra’s etc and order us to put them on for a photo. And so it unfolded as did
the clothes. Many of us then reverted to normal trail gear. The more “hard core”
Hashers wore their dress up items on the trail.
The Hares advised they had set a run and a walk trail plus, importantly, a drink
stop. By this stage the temperature had “dropped” to 42 degrees. One does
wonder if someone has organised a pact with Satan to provide climate
management services.
The pack duly set off into the shimmering heat waves and shifting mirages. The
walker’s trail cleverly used patches of bush and connecting trails. Dosh later
advised she had sought to maximise shade for participants. This was appreciated.
We eventually approached Kalamunda township.
At this point, one of the walkers considered his professional and social future
within Kalamunda. This resulted in a hasty reversion to underlying running gear
and removal of makeup. This was a very sage choice as the drink stop turned out
to be the Kalamunda Pub. We had a table booked plus beer and non-alcoholic
jugs on order. The venue was very busy but no one appeared to take any notice of
our strangely dressed collection. Maybe it happens all the time there.
At the circle:
Pick Up Chick dobbed herself in for turning up to the run whilst forgetting she was
supposed to be at a party.
El Keeno praised the drink stop for the runners.
Rock Bottom accepted a 200 run (rustic pen) award on behalf of Crusher.
A junior Hasher “crab walked” through the middle of proceedings on her hands
and feet whilst bent backwards. There did not seem to be any particular reason for
this other than admirable flexibility and possible boredom with old people talking.
Passiona got a down down for exposing a surfeit of flesh in his backless little red
dress.
Pink Bits advised of a Fremantle Hash event (in Glenforrest) the following
Wednesday
“Light my Fire” then performed her recurrent miracle of producing masses of great
Chicken Curry and rice from the back of the mighty Hyundai Getz.
The temperature was still high so many of us remained in the park as darkness set
in. This was a pleasing development given I had decided beforehand on the
alliterative “headline” for this trip report. Avoiding excessive manipulation of the
facts is probably a good aspirational goal.
On On
Downhill.
HOT HILLS HASH HOUSE HARRIERS 11/2/24
From memory, the last run report this scribe produced involved extremely hot
conditions and a trail set by El Keeno. The most economical way to assemble this
report would be to say refer to the last piece I wrote and change the venue. More
particularly, if I used the previous report and did a bit of cut and pasting, would
anyone notice? [ed: maybe only me]
However, I have summoned up my latent journalistic ethics and
produced a fresh, though somewhat wilted, report below:
Around 18 people and no dogs turned up. The sign on book was not physically
present. El Keeno advised he had not forgotten it, he remembered exactly where
he had left it on a table at home. He mentioned all the other things he had
remembered-hammer, foot sign, flour etc and suggested including the book would
have pushed him over the number of different things he could remember. This had
an eerie resonance with the defence Dripper offered when he forgot to put ice in
the eskies.
Start point was the end of Falls Rd in Parkerville. the Hare advised he had
planned separate runs based on whether it was going to be above or below 40
degrees. In theory it was supposed to be under 40 degrees so that was the run he
set. In practice, it was a bit over 40 degrees but the die (or flour) had been cast by
then. The walkers were told to follow the path to the falls and make their way back.
Runners were given slightly more detailed instructions.
The runner’s trail periodically departed and rejoined the walk trail. On one of these
occasions Dripper spotted this scribe and declared “It’s okay, it’s all Downhill from
here”. Somehow, this left me with a pervasive feeling of benevolence-I already had
the warm glow. Everyone did get back eventually. Walkers did 3.3 km, runners a
heroic 7.5 km.
Circle events:
Slippery got a 100 runs tankard and badge
Dripper got a 900 runs T shirt. He commented this was his first award since he got
an 899 run engraved plate.
Passiona dobbed himself in as being very naughty as a result of shameless
shortcutting. He insisted he should be punished with a cold down down.
El Keeno, Dripper and Pickup Chick got a group down down for something I didn’t
understand.
G.P.S got a down down for not having a life as demonstrated by attending multiple
Mandurah Hash events over the weekend.
A future run nearest to Valentine’s Day was mentioned.
Nosh next week.
On On
Downhill
From memory, the last run report this scribe produced involved extremely hot
conditions and a trail set by El Keeno. The most economical way to assemble this
report would be to say refer to the last piece I wrote and change the venue. More
particularly, if I used the previous report and did a bit of cut and pasting, would
anyone notice? [ed: maybe only me]
However, I have summoned up my latent journalistic ethics and
produced a fresh, though somewhat wilted, report below:
Around 18 people and no dogs turned up. The sign on book was not physically
present. El Keeno advised he had not forgotten it, he remembered exactly where
he had left it on a table at home. He mentioned all the other things he had
remembered-hammer, foot sign, flour etc and suggested including the book would
have pushed him over the number of different things he could remember. This had
an eerie resonance with the defence Dripper offered when he forgot to put ice in
the eskies.
Start point was the end of Falls Rd in Parkerville. the Hare advised he had
planned separate runs based on whether it was going to be above or below 40
degrees. In theory it was supposed to be under 40 degrees so that was the run he
set. In practice, it was a bit over 40 degrees but the die (or flour) had been cast by
then. The walkers were told to follow the path to the falls and make their way back.
Runners were given slightly more detailed instructions.
The runner’s trail periodically departed and rejoined the walk trail. On one of these
occasions Dripper spotted this scribe and declared “It’s okay, it’s all Downhill from
here”. Somehow, this left me with a pervasive feeling of benevolence-I already had
the warm glow. Everyone did get back eventually. Walkers did 3.3 km, runners a
heroic 7.5 km.
Circle events:
Slippery got a 100 runs tankard and badge
Dripper got a 900 runs T shirt. He commented this was his first award since he got
an 899 run engraved plate.
Passiona dobbed himself in as being very naughty as a result of shameless
shortcutting. He insisted he should be punished with a cold down down.
El Keeno, Dripper and Pickup Chick got a group down down for something I didn’t
understand.
G.P.S got a down down for not having a life as demonstrated by attending multiple
Mandurah Hash events over the weekend.
A future run nearest to Valentine’s Day was mentioned.
Nosh next week.
On On
Downhill
Run: 2153 – 4 February 2024
Hare: Dripper
Location: Cnr Scott Rd and Gt Eastern Highway, Greenmount
Head Count: Thirty three plus six dogs
The Trail: The Slippery Dripper
We were warned by the hare who used a meteorological metaphor along the lines of:
“You know when you hear the forecast is 32 but feels like 40, well the walk is three kms but feels like ….about six” or words to that effect.
The hills were brutal, I slid down several on my bottom and we walkers lost trail a couple of times but all was forgiven once we got to the drink stop where Leapfrog greeted us with bubbles and orange juice. Meanwhile, in order to avoid censure, the hare had cunningly tried to impale himself on a sharp splinter and gone off somewhere to staunch the bleeding and apply a temporary dressing to his finger – see Facebook for photographic evidence.
The Circle
The avoidance tactics continued. No sooner had Skippy summoned us all to the circle than the wily Dripper organised three low flying helicopters to circle above and drown out any criticism of his trail. However, the show eventually went on.
Charges
Dripper fronted up for his DD having run out of party tricks and was also awarded the silver platter for completing 899 runs again.
Hot Rod has completed thirty runs
Spot On was called on to comment on the run which Dosh interpreted as “easy”
Street Drinker and Pink Bits were charged for something to do with Dripper’s wound. I can’t recall the details but recall it was probably not suitable to include in a family hash report.
Topless signed the book twice thus inflating numbers and confusing the auditor. We don’t have an auditor but he/she would be confused if we had one. Topless blamed Hot Rod.
Dosh charged Dripper for making a spectacle of himself
El Keeno charged Tumble Toes for being a lame duck. He’s not very nice to his daughters, I think they should extract revenge.
Little Weed was charged for rocking up in a sequined outfit and outsmarting us all
The twins were called into the circle and members are encouraged to suggest hash names for them
General Business
Mental wants to sell us beer stubby holders for $5 and is encouraging people to go the Albany for the hash on 4 – 5 May
Pink Bits has been in communication with Dave the Pom who has suggested 14 April for our annual joint hash.
El Keeno is setting next week’s run at the end of Falls Rd, Parkerville. It’s near the nudist colony so clothing is optional, should you be so brave!!
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Dripper
Location: Cnr Scott Rd and Gt Eastern Highway, Greenmount
Head Count: Thirty three plus six dogs
The Trail: The Slippery Dripper
We were warned by the hare who used a meteorological metaphor along the lines of:
“You know when you hear the forecast is 32 but feels like 40, well the walk is three kms but feels like ….about six” or words to that effect.
The hills were brutal, I slid down several on my bottom and we walkers lost trail a couple of times but all was forgiven once we got to the drink stop where Leapfrog greeted us with bubbles and orange juice. Meanwhile, in order to avoid censure, the hare had cunningly tried to impale himself on a sharp splinter and gone off somewhere to staunch the bleeding and apply a temporary dressing to his finger – see Facebook for photographic evidence.
The Circle
The avoidance tactics continued. No sooner had Skippy summoned us all to the circle than the wily Dripper organised three low flying helicopters to circle above and drown out any criticism of his trail. However, the show eventually went on.
Charges
Dripper fronted up for his DD having run out of party tricks and was also awarded the silver platter for completing 899 runs again.
Hot Rod has completed thirty runs
Spot On was called on to comment on the run which Dosh interpreted as “easy”
Street Drinker and Pink Bits were charged for something to do with Dripper’s wound. I can’t recall the details but recall it was probably not suitable to include in a family hash report.
Topless signed the book twice thus inflating numbers and confusing the auditor. We don’t have an auditor but he/she would be confused if we had one. Topless blamed Hot Rod.
Dosh charged Dripper for making a spectacle of himself
El Keeno charged Tumble Toes for being a lame duck. He’s not very nice to his daughters, I think they should extract revenge.
Little Weed was charged for rocking up in a sequined outfit and outsmarting us all
The twins were called into the circle and members are encouraged to suggest hash names for them
General Business
Mental wants to sell us beer stubby holders for $5 and is encouraging people to go the Albany for the hash on 4 – 5 May
Pink Bits has been in communication with Dave the Pom who has suggested 14 April for our annual joint hash.
El Keeno is setting next week’s run at the end of Falls Rd, Parkerville. It’s near the nudist colony so clothing is optional, should you be so brave!!
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2152 – 28 January 2024
Hare: Crusher
Location: Somewhere up or down the road from The Dell, Mundaring Weir Road
Head Count: Twenty seven plus three dogs and possibly two latecomers
The Trail
Again, blame the storm and the fact that the path into The Dell was closed. Twenty seven intrepid
hashers found the run site thanks to the positioning of the three feet but it’s quite possible some of
the regulars like GPS, Sheep Shunter, Light my Fire and Madonna are still out there trying to find us.
Sorry chaps, we’ll see you next week. A hilly six kms for the runners through some lovely bush trails
and three kms for the walkers with a drink stop. There was an incentive to move quickly to avoid an
ant attack because those not-so-little creatures were out in full force.
The Circle
Just as the circle was about to kick off, Belt Up tried to escape again but he was spotted and
summoned back. Slippery Nuts declined to comment on the walk on the grounds that he only got as
far as the drink stop but he did mention ANTS. Passiona said he enjoyed the scenic run. Crusher was
duly summoned to take a DD.
Charges
Passiona wove a tale about a scorpion pit, two wowsers and a Yorkshireman. I think it was
apropos of the ant scare but the connection was tenuous!
Pick up Chick was outed as a fraud for having wheels on her esky. She momentarily
threatened to show us the ant bite on her arse but decorum won the day
Rock Bottom charged Pole Dancer for going to all the trouble of making us a bread pudding
then leaving it in the fridge. PD offered to leave it in front of her house for anyone to collect
a serve on their way home.
Skippy charged Dosh for bragging about lurking
El Keeno charged Skippy for falsely accusing him of short cutting [Ed: not that I was falsely accused, I just didnt like him doing it too!]
Little Weed charged Blow Fly for using his phone. He came up with an implausible excuse
which no one believed anyway.
General Business
El Keeno, in his position as hash hacker, was very excited to give early notice about hashing in
Antarctica in 2025. [Edit: talk to El Keeno if you want a flyer]
Next week’s hare is Dripper and the location is Scott St, Greenmount, at the top of the hill. Check the
website for more specific details.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Crusher
Location: Somewhere up or down the road from The Dell, Mundaring Weir Road
Head Count: Twenty seven plus three dogs and possibly two latecomers
The Trail
Again, blame the storm and the fact that the path into The Dell was closed. Twenty seven intrepid
hashers found the run site thanks to the positioning of the three feet but it’s quite possible some of
the regulars like GPS, Sheep Shunter, Light my Fire and Madonna are still out there trying to find us.
Sorry chaps, we’ll see you next week. A hilly six kms for the runners through some lovely bush trails
and three kms for the walkers with a drink stop. There was an incentive to move quickly to avoid an
ant attack because those not-so-little creatures were out in full force.
The Circle
Just as the circle was about to kick off, Belt Up tried to escape again but he was spotted and
summoned back. Slippery Nuts declined to comment on the walk on the grounds that he only got as
far as the drink stop but he did mention ANTS. Passiona said he enjoyed the scenic run. Crusher was
duly summoned to take a DD.
Charges
Passiona wove a tale about a scorpion pit, two wowsers and a Yorkshireman. I think it was
apropos of the ant scare but the connection was tenuous!
Pick up Chick was outed as a fraud for having wheels on her esky. She momentarily
threatened to show us the ant bite on her arse but decorum won the day
Rock Bottom charged Pole Dancer for going to all the trouble of making us a bread pudding
then leaving it in the fridge. PD offered to leave it in front of her house for anyone to collect
a serve on their way home.
Skippy charged Dosh for bragging about lurking
El Keeno charged Skippy for falsely accusing him of short cutting [Ed: not that I was falsely accused, I just didnt like him doing it too!]
Little Weed charged Blow Fly for using his phone. He came up with an implausible excuse
which no one believed anyway.
General Business
El Keeno, in his position as hash hacker, was very excited to give early notice about hashing in
Antarctica in 2025. [Edit: talk to El Keeno if you want a flyer]
Next week’s hare is Dripper and the location is Scott St, Greenmount, at the top of the hill. Check the
website for more specific details.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2151 – 21 January 2024
Hare: Passiona
Location: Stevens St, Sawyers Valley, home of Passiona and Leapfrog
Head Count: Approx. 42 and five dogs although it was hard to keep count because people just
kept coming. Mention the magic word “food” and you’re guaranteed a crowd.
The Trail
After the storm is over……….. there’s a lot of debris to dodge and so we set off wending our way
around fallen branches, twigs, foliage and gumnuts until we got on to some clear bush paths. Approx
three kms for the walkers and six for the runners with a drink stop manned by Leapfrog. Slippery
Nuts gave the walk trail a high rating and Dripper said the run was absolutely excellent even though
he got lost. Work that one out!
The Circle
Passiona was summoned to receive an accolade for setting an excellent trail followed by Leapfrog
whose birthday was some time ago but a belated celebration is as good as any. She promised us a
cake to die for.
Charges
El Keeno was charged for being a neglectful parent and losing his children who weren’t
actually lost but were waiting for him by his car.
Bum Shuffler received an accolade for finishing the trail. Doesn’t she always?
Downhill for giving or not giving a fig!
Rock Bottom charged Crusher for poor navigational skills
Cow Pat didn’t quite make it to Hash Crash status because her wounds were the result of
gardening, not hashing and there wasn’t much blood. In summary, a poor effort.
Pink Bits charged Slippery Nuts and GPS for comparing evidence of their shingle
vaccinations. This is a worry, young stags used to fight for female attention, now as elderly
men they show off their vaccination scars.
Light my Fire charged Rubber Duckie for arriving late.
We then all got stuck into some excellent food followed by a screening of hash historical moments.
General Business
Next week’s hare is Crusher and the location is The Dell, Mundaring Weir Road.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Passiona
Location: Stevens St, Sawyers Valley, home of Passiona and Leapfrog
Head Count: Approx. 42 and five dogs although it was hard to keep count because people just
kept coming. Mention the magic word “food” and you’re guaranteed a crowd.
The Trail
After the storm is over……….. there’s a lot of debris to dodge and so we set off wending our way
around fallen branches, twigs, foliage and gumnuts until we got on to some clear bush paths. Approx
three kms for the walkers and six for the runners with a drink stop manned by Leapfrog. Slippery
Nuts gave the walk trail a high rating and Dripper said the run was absolutely excellent even though
he got lost. Work that one out!
The Circle
Passiona was summoned to receive an accolade for setting an excellent trail followed by Leapfrog
whose birthday was some time ago but a belated celebration is as good as any. She promised us a
cake to die for.
Charges
El Keeno was charged for being a neglectful parent and losing his children who weren’t
actually lost but were waiting for him by his car.
Bum Shuffler received an accolade for finishing the trail. Doesn’t she always?
Downhill for giving or not giving a fig!
Rock Bottom charged Crusher for poor navigational skills
Cow Pat didn’t quite make it to Hash Crash status because her wounds were the result of
gardening, not hashing and there wasn’t much blood. In summary, a poor effort.
Pink Bits charged Slippery Nuts and GPS for comparing evidence of their shingle
vaccinations. This is a worry, young stags used to fight for female attention, now as elderly
men they show off their vaccination scars.
Light my Fire charged Rubber Duckie for arriving late.
We then all got stuck into some excellent food followed by a screening of hash historical moments.
General Business
Next week’s hare is Crusher and the location is The Dell, Mundaring Weir Road.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
“Short and Sweat” (El Keeno, Coolgardie Rd Mundaring, 14/1/24)
The title of this run was actually provided by the Hare. This Hash already has SNB
(self naming bastard) among it’s luminaries so a SNH (self naming hare), was
probably not a leap too far.
The atmospheric temperature was distinctly hot . This scribe did toy with providing
a title referencing Dante’s inferno. Praise should go to the hare for turning up to
set the trails under these circumstances.
The numbers were understandably down-not quite to the 2 men and a dog level
but about 15 variously gendered people and a dog (Karri). All the other Hash
Hounds sensibly opted out of fronting up.
Apparently Horse Racing in Perth the day before was cancelled because of the
heat. This probably reflects the relative value of a bunch of thoroughbred and a
bunch of hashers though we were all fairly knackered by the end of the trail.
In his briefing, the Hare advised both walkers and runners had relatively short and
flat trails to follow. Happily, this turned out to be basically true.
At the circle afterwards, down downs etc went to :
The Hare
Red Whine for Long Time No See. Somehow the Navy expectations of his
presence have taken precedence
In a cross species award, Karri was recognised for completing 300 runs. These
must have involved a huge amount of chasing tennis balls. When a 7X correction
for dog years is factored in, she surely towers like a colossus over the rest of us.
Long John for making chips soggy to put his daughter off eating them.
Dripper for turning 64. This resulted in a surprisingly tuneful mass rendition of the
relevant Beatles song.
Crusher got a down down for wearing shorts which were hanging in strips. It was
honestly difficult to imagine what he had done to incur so much damage in the
shorts department. Maybe as an influencer he is starting some kind of Gothic Chic
movement. Alternatively, he will need to have stern words with his valet.
Dripper produced a splendid Orange Cake he had made.
We sang our Hash song.
Karri went home to watch her Border Collie relatives featuring in the “Muster
Dogs” TV programme.
On On
Downhill.
The title of this run was actually provided by the Hare. This Hash already has SNB
(self naming bastard) among it’s luminaries so a SNH (self naming hare), was
probably not a leap too far.
The atmospheric temperature was distinctly hot . This scribe did toy with providing
a title referencing Dante’s inferno. Praise should go to the hare for turning up to
set the trails under these circumstances.
The numbers were understandably down-not quite to the 2 men and a dog level
but about 15 variously gendered people and a dog (Karri). All the other Hash
Hounds sensibly opted out of fronting up.
Apparently Horse Racing in Perth the day before was cancelled because of the
heat. This probably reflects the relative value of a bunch of thoroughbred and a
bunch of hashers though we were all fairly knackered by the end of the trail.
In his briefing, the Hare advised both walkers and runners had relatively short and
flat trails to follow. Happily, this turned out to be basically true.
At the circle afterwards, down downs etc went to :
The Hare
Red Whine for Long Time No See. Somehow the Navy expectations of his
presence have taken precedence
In a cross species award, Karri was recognised for completing 300 runs. These
must have involved a huge amount of chasing tennis balls. When a 7X correction
for dog years is factored in, she surely towers like a colossus over the rest of us.
Long John for making chips soggy to put his daughter off eating them.
Dripper for turning 64. This resulted in a surprisingly tuneful mass rendition of the
relevant Beatles song.
Crusher got a down down for wearing shorts which were hanging in strips. It was
honestly difficult to imagine what he had done to incur so much damage in the
shorts department. Maybe as an influencer he is starting some kind of Gothic Chic
movement. Alternatively, he will need to have stern words with his valet.
Dripper produced a splendid Orange Cake he had made.
We sang our Hash song.
Karri went home to watch her Border Collie relatives featuring in the “Muster
Dogs” TV programme.
On On
Downhill.
Hot, Hilly, a Haircut and Hyphenated Twins
Our first run of 2024 was set by Dosh and Wacuda from the appropriately name
Hill Street in Gooseberry Hill. Alert readers will already notice a theme emerging
here. One could hardly feign surprise given we are the Hills Hash House Harriers.
Considering the heat, there was a good number of participants-about 30 Hashers
and 3 or 4 dogs.
In her briefing for the walkers Dosh advised her trail was sort of flat(tish). We were
also told to exercise moderation at the drink stop as there were more runners
than expected and they would need refreshment when they emerged from the
Stygian depths of Wacuda’s trail.
As expected, the walkers got back well before the runners. The latter group
eventually appeared showing signs of having had a distinctly challenging run.
Featured at the circle were down downs for:
The Hares because that is expected.
G.P.S. for something but my own notes were too enigmatic for me.
Bum Shuffler for domestic blindness in failing to see Champagne in the Esky.
Wacuda for “The Hill”
Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts for “bringing up the rear”
El Keeno for something about leaving last weeks run late to get to the airport
Leapfrog channelled her inner auditor and dobbed in El Keeno for incorrect run
numbers on sheets.
El Keeno also got a down down for a rather uneven self inflicted haircut.
Apparently his daughter had taken possession of the bathroom. He therefore
made the “brave decision”, to cut his own hair sans mirror. This decision was
strangely evocative of the time White Pointer turned up for a Hash run having
decided to iron his T shirt whilst he was wearing it. The consequent burns on his
stomach were very detailed and included the steam holes within the shape of the
iron.
Wacuda was reunited with his work hat after leaving it behind at the Christmas
function.
The Street Drinker-Bum Shuffler twins got a non alcoholic down down for having
new shoes. If either or both of them end up playing high level team sports this
would make for interesting player naming on their back of their shirts.
On On
Downhill
Our first run of 2024 was set by Dosh and Wacuda from the appropriately name
Hill Street in Gooseberry Hill. Alert readers will already notice a theme emerging
here. One could hardly feign surprise given we are the Hills Hash House Harriers.
Considering the heat, there was a good number of participants-about 30 Hashers
and 3 or 4 dogs.
In her briefing for the walkers Dosh advised her trail was sort of flat(tish). We were
also told to exercise moderation at the drink stop as there were more runners
than expected and they would need refreshment when they emerged from the
Stygian depths of Wacuda’s trail.
As expected, the walkers got back well before the runners. The latter group
eventually appeared showing signs of having had a distinctly challenging run.
Featured at the circle were down downs for:
The Hares because that is expected.
G.P.S. for something but my own notes were too enigmatic for me.
Bum Shuffler for domestic blindness in failing to see Champagne in the Esky.
Wacuda for “The Hill”
Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts for “bringing up the rear”
El Keeno for something about leaving last weeks run late to get to the airport
Leapfrog channelled her inner auditor and dobbed in El Keeno for incorrect run
numbers on sheets.
El Keeno also got a down down for a rather uneven self inflicted haircut.
Apparently his daughter had taken possession of the bathroom. He therefore
made the “brave decision”, to cut his own hair sans mirror. This decision was
strangely evocative of the time White Pointer turned up for a Hash run having
decided to iron his T shirt whilst he was wearing it. The consequent burns on his
stomach were very detailed and included the steam holes within the shape of the
iron.
Wacuda was reunited with his work hat after leaving it behind at the Christmas
function.
The Street Drinker-Bum Shuffler twins got a non alcoholic down down for having
new shoes. If either or both of them end up playing high level team sports this
would make for interesting player naming on their back of their shirts.
On On
Downhill
Run: 2148 – 31 December 2023
Hare: Skippy
Location: Stirling Square, Guildford
Head Count: Approx. 36 although I’m not sure given that El Keeno did a runner with the sign in
book before I could verify numbers. [editor: sign-in book was there...not sure who has it now] It was a no dog hash because they’re not allowed on trains
although Mental managed to smuggle Mini on to the train in his backpack.
The Run, Walk and Train Ride
One wonders what it would take to attract the attention of the worthy citizens of Guildford. Most of
us rocked up as commanded in various forms of op shop formal gear, ranging from the almost
tasteful to the outrageous but I don’t think any of the locals we passed on our journey took the
slightest notice. Perhaps cavorting around in crazy costumes is what you do in Guildford.
The hare instructed us to walk 800m to the East Guildford railway station, board the train, travel two
stops to Bassendean station then follow trail to the drink stop and finally on home. It all worked
according to plan with mimosas, beer and soft drink for refreshment overseen by Leapfrog and her
crew. Leapfrog continues to never waste a minute that could be spent knitting.
The Circle
Skippy awarded himself a DD for having set a novelty trail then handed over to Dripper.
Charges
El Keeno would have been charged for arboreal disrobing (that means his elegant jacket got caught
on a tree and shredded) but as mentioned above, he’d done a bunk. Carry over.
Headlight, Madonna and Mental were charged for lack of adherence to the dress code but
Headlight threw the blame on GPS for not telling her there was a dress code.
Pick up Chick was charged for looking gorgeous and arriving on time for a change. She responded by
charging Dripper for short cutting. He said it was very difficult to run in long trousers
SNB charged Snake Charmer for showing a lack of interest in his school as they passed it
Skippy charged Screw Driver and Buttless either for being LTNS or first timers
Skippy was charged for following the Hamersley trail and for wearing new shoes
There were a few other charges but I got distracted by the shoe baptism.
General Business
Pole Dancer issued an open invitation for any party goers to rock on at her and Belt Up’s place and
promised there would be dancing.
Next week’s hares are Dosh and Wacuda. No other details at present so watch this space. [See front page: Hill Street, Gooseberry Hill]
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Skippy
Location: Stirling Square, Guildford
Head Count: Approx. 36 although I’m not sure given that El Keeno did a runner with the sign in
book before I could verify numbers. [editor: sign-in book was there...not sure who has it now] It was a no dog hash because they’re not allowed on trains
although Mental managed to smuggle Mini on to the train in his backpack.
The Run, Walk and Train Ride
One wonders what it would take to attract the attention of the worthy citizens of Guildford. Most of
us rocked up as commanded in various forms of op shop formal gear, ranging from the almost
tasteful to the outrageous but I don’t think any of the locals we passed on our journey took the
slightest notice. Perhaps cavorting around in crazy costumes is what you do in Guildford.
The hare instructed us to walk 800m to the East Guildford railway station, board the train, travel two
stops to Bassendean station then follow trail to the drink stop and finally on home. It all worked
according to plan with mimosas, beer and soft drink for refreshment overseen by Leapfrog and her
crew. Leapfrog continues to never waste a minute that could be spent knitting.
The Circle
Skippy awarded himself a DD for having set a novelty trail then handed over to Dripper.
Charges
El Keeno would have been charged for arboreal disrobing (that means his elegant jacket got caught
on a tree and shredded) but as mentioned above, he’d done a bunk. Carry over.
Headlight, Madonna and Mental were charged for lack of adherence to the dress code but
Headlight threw the blame on GPS for not telling her there was a dress code.
Pick up Chick was charged for looking gorgeous and arriving on time for a change. She responded by
charging Dripper for short cutting. He said it was very difficult to run in long trousers
SNB charged Snake Charmer for showing a lack of interest in his school as they passed it
Skippy charged Screw Driver and Buttless either for being LTNS or first timers
Skippy was charged for following the Hamersley trail and for wearing new shoes
There were a few other charges but I got distracted by the shoe baptism.
General Business
Pole Dancer issued an open invitation for any party goers to rock on at her and Belt Up’s place and
promised there would be dancing.
Next week’s hares are Dosh and Wacuda. No other details at present so watch this space. [See front page: Hill Street, Gooseberry Hill]
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run 2146:
The “I’m dreaming of a hot Christmas” run.
The run on 24/12/23 was set by Co-hares Dosh and Wacuda from Jorgensen Park
in Kalamunda. There had been thought of not having a run on this day because of
significant numbers of the usual suspects being away or otherwise committed at
this time. Many thanks to the hares for taking on the task of setting a run and a
walk trail plus a drink stop (even though this scribe somehow managed to miss the
latter).
It was hot (34 degrees) and near as dammit to Christmas so a little tweaking of a
song title as above is surely acceptable.
We had 11 runners or walkers and Chico the Chihuahua. Pick up Chick and Lady
Gaga had also appeared by the time we got back to the start point. Pick Up Chick
continued her pattern of being much better dressed than a typical Hasher. It
emerged she had been helping fight bushfires earlier in the day. Having recovered
and gotten clean, the prospect of running round the bush understandably held
limited appeal.
In her briefing Dosh warned about the Downhill bits. I tried not to take offence at
this. The warnings were justified as both the run, the walk and the run were
substantial, steep and challenging. No pre Christmas dilettante tracks for us.
The Circle included:
A naming (Bum Shuffler and Street Drinker).
Down Downs to Dripper for following GPS and to Mental for scaring us with a story
about a death on an overseas Hash run.
Dosh, Wacuda and Pick Up Chick very generously provided food for the group.
On On
Downhill
Run: 2145 – 10 December 2023
Hare: Leapfrog and Passiona
Location: Lake Leschenaultia, Chidlow
Head Count: Thirty eight with no dogs because Lake Leschenaultia is a dog-free zone
The Run
Hashers got into the Christmas spirit by rocking up decked out in tinsel, antlers, festive season hats
and themed clothing. The colour of choice was, predictably, RED. The short walk was anti-clockwise
to “that green shed over there” behind which was the drink stop. The long walk was in a clockwise
direction around the lake to “that green shed” and the run followed a more circuitous route to “that
green shed”. Only Crusher wandered around aimlessly trying to find the drink stop and arriving
when the drinks were all gone. He thought the drink stop was in front of the shed not behind –
clearly wasn’t paying attention.
The Circle
Skippy tried in vain to instil some order then gave up and said we could sit in the circle. This is what
happens when you tell people to bring a chair. They assume they can sit on it!
Reactions to the trail:
The run – yeah!
The walk – yeah!
I think that means the hares did a good job.
Charges
Over to the Monk
Happy 90 th birthday Madonna. We tried to light the nine candles on his cake but the wind was too
strong so we only managed one which was probably enough for a man who said he’s been partying
all week.
Red Light was charged on behalf of her family for arriving late
Pink Bits received an accolade for harassing Dripper. This was reversed and Slippery took the DD
At this point several ducks and a green parrot infiltrated the circle providing much amusement
Pink Bits tried to report that Dave the Pom had raised $3,000 for Guide Dogs for the Blind but the
story got hijacked by accounts of daring antics from high buildings
Skippy charged Nikki for ignoring the trail and doing her own thing
Rob was charged for wearing new shoes
Little Weed received an accolade for rooting around in bins to collect recyclables
General Business
Next week’s hare is Fire Extinguisher. Check the website for details. Starting time will revert to 5pm.
There probably (?) won’t be a run on Christmas Eve [editor's note: I think there will be a run] but the New Year’s Eve run will kick off from the
Guildford train station and the theme is op shop glamour.
And then we all got stuck into food, glorious food. Thanks to all for your contributions.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Leapfrog and Passiona
Location: Lake Leschenaultia, Chidlow
Head Count: Thirty eight with no dogs because Lake Leschenaultia is a dog-free zone
The Run
Hashers got into the Christmas spirit by rocking up decked out in tinsel, antlers, festive season hats
and themed clothing. The colour of choice was, predictably, RED. The short walk was anti-clockwise
to “that green shed over there” behind which was the drink stop. The long walk was in a clockwise
direction around the lake to “that green shed” and the run followed a more circuitous route to “that
green shed”. Only Crusher wandered around aimlessly trying to find the drink stop and arriving
when the drinks were all gone. He thought the drink stop was in front of the shed not behind –
clearly wasn’t paying attention.
The Circle
Skippy tried in vain to instil some order then gave up and said we could sit in the circle. This is what
happens when you tell people to bring a chair. They assume they can sit on it!
Reactions to the trail:
The run – yeah!
The walk – yeah!
I think that means the hares did a good job.
Charges
Over to the Monk
Happy 90 th birthday Madonna. We tried to light the nine candles on his cake but the wind was too
strong so we only managed one which was probably enough for a man who said he’s been partying
all week.
Red Light was charged on behalf of her family for arriving late
Pink Bits received an accolade for harassing Dripper. This was reversed and Slippery took the DD
At this point several ducks and a green parrot infiltrated the circle providing much amusement
Pink Bits tried to report that Dave the Pom had raised $3,000 for Guide Dogs for the Blind but the
story got hijacked by accounts of daring antics from high buildings
Skippy charged Nikki for ignoring the trail and doing her own thing
Rob was charged for wearing new shoes
Little Weed received an accolade for rooting around in bins to collect recyclables
General Business
Next week’s hare is Fire Extinguisher. Check the website for details. Starting time will revert to 5pm.
There probably (?) won’t be a run on Christmas Eve [editor's note: I think there will be a run] but the New Year’s Eve run will kick off from the
Guildford train station and the theme is op shop glamour.
And then we all got stuck into food, glorious food. Thanks to all for your contributions.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2144 – 3 December 2023
Hare: Downhill
Location: Bilgoman Pool car park, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty eight plus one dog
The Run
They came from the east, they came from the west, they came from the north, they came from the
south and most directions in between. Why, you ask? Well, because the walkers confused the
outgoing trail with the home trail and some of the runners lost trail but everyone made it back to
base by various routes and most made it to the drink stop so those were two points in favour. I put it
down to the fact that the hare gave detailed information about the various options at the start,
forgetting that most hashers have a two minute concentration span and anything you say after that
is lost. Downhill was awarded the trophy for the best run last year, he’s resigned to scoring a gong
this year for the most chaotic run.
The Circle
Madonna commented favourably on the walk and SNB said the run was hilly with lots of shade.
Charges
Dripper was late because he assumed the hare really meant Mt Helena Pool, not Bilgoman.
Little Weed was charged for wandering off just as the circle was about to start
Passiona was charged for misleading Dripper
Pink Bits issued an in absentia charge to Mental for missing the hash in order to go to a chihuahuas’
party. It must be a true story, you couldn’t make up an excuse like that.
GPS charged Downhill for getting us all lost
Leapfrog, Passiona and Skippy took a congratulatory DD for the new addition to their family
GPS charged Leapfrog for knitting in the circle. The charge was reversed because she did the same
thing last week 0nly GPS didn’t notice
General Business
Next week is our Christmas run to be held at Lake Leschenaultia. Check the website for details. Bring
a chair, eating utensils, a $5 gift for the hamper (to be donated to charity), whatever food
contribution you have committed to, wear festive gear and bring your bathers if you wish to swim
Please note the starting time is 4pm
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Downhill
Location: Bilgoman Pool car park, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty eight plus one dog
The Run
They came from the east, they came from the west, they came from the north, they came from the
south and most directions in between. Why, you ask? Well, because the walkers confused the
outgoing trail with the home trail and some of the runners lost trail but everyone made it back to
base by various routes and most made it to the drink stop so those were two points in favour. I put it
down to the fact that the hare gave detailed information about the various options at the start,
forgetting that most hashers have a two minute concentration span and anything you say after that
is lost. Downhill was awarded the trophy for the best run last year, he’s resigned to scoring a gong
this year for the most chaotic run.
The Circle
Madonna commented favourably on the walk and SNB said the run was hilly with lots of shade.
Charges
Dripper was late because he assumed the hare really meant Mt Helena Pool, not Bilgoman.
Little Weed was charged for wandering off just as the circle was about to start
Passiona was charged for misleading Dripper
Pink Bits issued an in absentia charge to Mental for missing the hash in order to go to a chihuahuas’
party. It must be a true story, you couldn’t make up an excuse like that.
GPS charged Downhill for getting us all lost
Leapfrog, Passiona and Skippy took a congratulatory DD for the new addition to their family
GPS charged Leapfrog for knitting in the circle. The charge was reversed because she did the same
thing last week 0nly GPS didn’t notice
General Business
Next week is our Christmas run to be held at Lake Leschenaultia. Check the website for details. Bring
a chair, eating utensils, a $5 gift for the hamper (to be donated to charity), whatever food
contribution you have committed to, wear festive gear and bring your bathers if you wish to swim
Please note the starting time is 4pm
OnOn
Rock Bottom
“I WANT TO KNOW, WILL I EVER SEE THE RAIN”
(John Fogerty/Credence Clearwater Revival)
This was the question many of us had in mind when we assembled at G.P.S’s South
Metropolitan home on 26/11/23. Club history has repeated examples of floods of Biblical
proportions almost every time he set a run from home. One past watershed moment
involved drainpipes and gutters overflowing whilst Hashers were ankle deep in water.
That was in the outdoor undercover area!
This was the last run from this location as G.P.S. is moving address so storm and
tempest would have provided a bit of “closure”.
Twenty Seven people and Four dogs were briefed by the Hare. This involved using a
piece of plasterboard to draw arcane and mysterious symbols on the ground involving
numbers and possibly NZ breasts. The numbers apparently meant the front runners had
to let the corresponding number of those behind get ahead. I don’t think anyone took
much notice of these. Basically, we just wandered round following chalk marks from park
to park until we got to the Drink Stop. This was located in a very pleasant waterside
setting with cool greenery.
Happily, I can report there were no bloodied legs and knees this week. Maybe we have
staunched the crimson tide.
After the run, the Circle was a mixture of awards and down downs.
Crusher got a 200 run award plus a cake with toy bulldozers ( thanks Dosh).
Blowfly 50 run award.
Longjohn a down down for hitting 65 km in the final stage of the run. I was naively
impressed by this right up to the point where I was told he had hitched a ride.
Passiona for losing his way
Mental for allowing himself to be savaged by a chihuaha. Pink Bits tried to dob him in for
entering his name in the dog column of the sign on book. This reversed as it turned out
both he and the dog had entered their names in the correct column. It can get confusing
when several members and species of the family have “Mental” as their first name with a
qualifier following.
A particularly bizarre sequence unfolded in the circle where Flying Nun tried to dob in
G.P.S. because his chicken ( which she had been holding) had left her smelling like a
chicken. This was as distinct from any other random animal.
in a surprise move by Pink Bits, Rob and family were asked to lead the singing of our
club song. No one said anything but somehow they intuitively all sang as fast as
possible to get it over and done with. This was not so much a gentle canter as a wild
eyed gallop. The quality of our singing is pretty basic at the best of times but the speed
factor lowered the standard further.
G.P.S. and Zippy kindly fed the masses.
Did we ever see the rain? No. A few us thought we may have felt one very slight drop
from the clouds but this was so slight as to be all in the imagination.
On On Downhill
[Note from Hash Hacker: It starting pouring about 11pm in the hills, so I was moderately disappointed by GPS's tardiness, but also impressed with his dedication.]
(John Fogerty/Credence Clearwater Revival)
This was the question many of us had in mind when we assembled at G.P.S’s South
Metropolitan home on 26/11/23. Club history has repeated examples of floods of Biblical
proportions almost every time he set a run from home. One past watershed moment
involved drainpipes and gutters overflowing whilst Hashers were ankle deep in water.
That was in the outdoor undercover area!
This was the last run from this location as G.P.S. is moving address so storm and
tempest would have provided a bit of “closure”.
Twenty Seven people and Four dogs were briefed by the Hare. This involved using a
piece of plasterboard to draw arcane and mysterious symbols on the ground involving
numbers and possibly NZ breasts. The numbers apparently meant the front runners had
to let the corresponding number of those behind get ahead. I don’t think anyone took
much notice of these. Basically, we just wandered round following chalk marks from park
to park until we got to the Drink Stop. This was located in a very pleasant waterside
setting with cool greenery.
Happily, I can report there were no bloodied legs and knees this week. Maybe we have
staunched the crimson tide.
After the run, the Circle was a mixture of awards and down downs.
Crusher got a 200 run award plus a cake with toy bulldozers ( thanks Dosh).
Blowfly 50 run award.
Longjohn a down down for hitting 65 km in the final stage of the run. I was naively
impressed by this right up to the point where I was told he had hitched a ride.
Passiona for losing his way
Mental for allowing himself to be savaged by a chihuaha. Pink Bits tried to dob him in for
entering his name in the dog column of the sign on book. This reversed as it turned out
both he and the dog had entered their names in the correct column. It can get confusing
when several members and species of the family have “Mental” as their first name with a
qualifier following.
A particularly bizarre sequence unfolded in the circle where Flying Nun tried to dob in
G.P.S. because his chicken ( which she had been holding) had left her smelling like a
chicken. This was as distinct from any other random animal.
in a surprise move by Pink Bits, Rob and family were asked to lead the singing of our
club song. No one said anything but somehow they intuitively all sang as fast as
possible to get it over and done with. This was not so much a gentle canter as a wild
eyed gallop. The quality of our singing is pretty basic at the best of times but the speed
factor lowered the standard further.
G.P.S. and Zippy kindly fed the masses.
Did we ever see the rain? No. A few us thought we may have felt one very slight drop
from the clouds but this was so slight as to be all in the imagination.
On On Downhill
[Note from Hash Hacker: It starting pouring about 11pm in the hills, so I was moderately disappointed by GPS's tardiness, but also impressed with his dedication.]
“A RIDDLE WRAPPED IN A MYSTERY INSIDE AN ENIGMA”
Were the words of Winston Churchill who was referring to Russia rather than the run of 19/11. Churchill himself, did not take in the part in the run. Being dead for many decades does limit your social options.
However, El Keeno, the hare for the day, did set challenging trails for both runners and walkers. Twenty eight people (all living) plus four dogs(also living) gathered near the Stoneville Fire Station on a decidedly hot day. E.K. advised there was a drink stop (water only) for the runners and that runners and walkers followed some common trail sections.
We all duly set off with the cleverly constructed trail repeatedly bringing runners and walkers together then separating them. In one of these overlap situations, Scooby channelled the spirit of the Bletchley Park codebreakers by declaring he had worked out a pattern to the changes.
The trail took us past the local bottle shop where a staff member came outside to check what the general noise was about. This scribe queried whether we would be getting discount prices. Sadly, the answer was no, but cooler temperatures inside were offered. The group continued with the assumption that interaction with the bottle shop was theoretical rather than practical. The circle after the run revealed the error in this assumption.
The trails took in a mixture of roads, tracks and pedestrian right of ways. No one seemed to get lost.
My notes on the circle record some unspecified person saying the run was excellent and awesome. This was almost certainly a comment from the hare. Passiona (over 1600 runs) was impressed that El Keeno had found track sections that were new territory for him.
Other circle events included:
In a (formerly) private conversation, Little Weed expressed surprise that Hash write ups appeared somewhere on the net and asked where that would be. Therefore, this is a special callout to Little Weed.
As ever, Light My Fire did a fantastic job in providing Nosh. We all dined very well on terrific curries and rice. It is astounding how much eating pleasure can be packed into one small Hyundai.
On On
Downhill
Were the words of Winston Churchill who was referring to Russia rather than the run of 19/11. Churchill himself, did not take in the part in the run. Being dead for many decades does limit your social options.
However, El Keeno, the hare for the day, did set challenging trails for both runners and walkers. Twenty eight people (all living) plus four dogs(also living) gathered near the Stoneville Fire Station on a decidedly hot day. E.K. advised there was a drink stop (water only) for the runners and that runners and walkers followed some common trail sections.
We all duly set off with the cleverly constructed trail repeatedly bringing runners and walkers together then separating them. In one of these overlap situations, Scooby channelled the spirit of the Bletchley Park codebreakers by declaring he had worked out a pattern to the changes.
The trail took us past the local bottle shop where a staff member came outside to check what the general noise was about. This scribe queried whether we would be getting discount prices. Sadly, the answer was no, but cooler temperatures inside were offered. The group continued with the assumption that interaction with the bottle shop was theoretical rather than practical. The circle after the run revealed the error in this assumption.
The trails took in a mixture of roads, tracks and pedestrian right of ways. No one seemed to get lost.
My notes on the circle record some unspecified person saying the run was excellent and awesome. This was almost certainly a comment from the hare. Passiona (over 1600 runs) was impressed that El Keeno had found track sections that were new territory for him.
Other circle events included:
- Cowpat 50 runs award
- Little Weed for being oblivious to the “Wall of Sound” from Leapfrog (apologies to Phil Spector, the second dead person to feature in this report).
- Pickup Chick for being the best dressed person to ever attend this Hash. P.U.C. did not go on the run but turned up directly from an art exhibition opening.
- Dakota for a Long Time No See down down
- Scooby got a Lame Duck Award for falling on gumnuts and drawing blood. It used to be that these awards were occasional events. Now they seem to be every week. The pages of the run reports are being metaphorically spattered with blood. If this becomes literal I am definitely going to complain.
- Recent member Rob got a down down for generating his own drink stop by calling into the bottle shop during the course of the run. He has not yet been allocated a Hash Handle but all the signs suggest this will happen before long.
- Other stuff I didn’t make notes about.
In a (formerly) private conversation, Little Weed expressed surprise that Hash write ups appeared somewhere on the net and asked where that would be. Therefore, this is a special callout to Little Weed.
As ever, Light My Fire did a fantastic job in providing Nosh. We all dined very well on terrific curries and rice. It is astounding how much eating pleasure can be packed into one small Hyundai.
On On
Downhill
THE IGNEOUS IS BLISS (NOT) RUN
The run of 12/11 was set from Jorgenson Park in Kalamunda. Hares were Dosh (walk) and Wacuda (run).
Scooby made a welcome appearance after an extended period in Thailand. We were particularly pleased to see him as no one else had any cups for the splendid on course drinks stop.
Given the start point, we knew to expect Hills and the runners apparently got a generous dose of these. There had been a significant amount of rain just before the run and this partly washed out some markings. In her briefing, Dosh explained her marking device for the “W’s” had been malfunctioning and that the walk trail was in fact denoted by a combination of neat “W’s” and free-form expressionist calligraphy. It is a little hard to imagine what mechanical problems a tin drilled with holes could generate but possibly the humidity was a factor. In an act of zealous solidarity and self interest, Wacuda briefly claimed the runners trail had similar problems.
The Walk trail was actually clearly marked and fairly lengthy but wound through lots of very attractive scenery. Passiona related his experience of the Run trail as based around going down steep valley sides, up steep valley sides then rinse and repeat.
Skimpy and Wacuda were the last to finish with the former sporting quite a lot of blood following a fall. He explained that he had fallen sideways and crashed into an igneous rock. In those circumstances, most people would be oblivious to the type of rock they had injured themselves on. All of which rather underscored the view that Skimpy is not representative of “most people”.
Pick Up Chick arrived late as in after the run had finished. However, she was wearing a knee brace and limping very slowly.
At the Circle, Skimpy got a down-down and the lame duck award. Pick Up Chick got a down-down for having managed to seriously injure herself by simply standing up from her breakfast table. There were also other down-downs.
This week’s cake was part of the Wedding Cake from the marriage of Passiona and Leapfrog’s eldest son. The assorted medically injured set themselves up next to the table so they could graze without having to move much. This scribe made the surprising discovery that some Wedding Cakes have structural supporting pillars.
When “chewed”, they have a texture akin to marinated girders.
Twenty six people and four dogs attended though some dogs may have forgotten to put their names in the sign on book.
On On,
Downhill
The run of 12/11 was set from Jorgenson Park in Kalamunda. Hares were Dosh (walk) and Wacuda (run).
Scooby made a welcome appearance after an extended period in Thailand. We were particularly pleased to see him as no one else had any cups for the splendid on course drinks stop.
Given the start point, we knew to expect Hills and the runners apparently got a generous dose of these. There had been a significant amount of rain just before the run and this partly washed out some markings. In her briefing, Dosh explained her marking device for the “W’s” had been malfunctioning and that the walk trail was in fact denoted by a combination of neat “W’s” and free-form expressionist calligraphy. It is a little hard to imagine what mechanical problems a tin drilled with holes could generate but possibly the humidity was a factor. In an act of zealous solidarity and self interest, Wacuda briefly claimed the runners trail had similar problems.
The Walk trail was actually clearly marked and fairly lengthy but wound through lots of very attractive scenery. Passiona related his experience of the Run trail as based around going down steep valley sides, up steep valley sides then rinse and repeat.
Skimpy and Wacuda were the last to finish with the former sporting quite a lot of blood following a fall. He explained that he had fallen sideways and crashed into an igneous rock. In those circumstances, most people would be oblivious to the type of rock they had injured themselves on. All of which rather underscored the view that Skimpy is not representative of “most people”.
Pick Up Chick arrived late as in after the run had finished. However, she was wearing a knee brace and limping very slowly.
At the Circle, Skimpy got a down-down and the lame duck award. Pick Up Chick got a down-down for having managed to seriously injure herself by simply standing up from her breakfast table. There were also other down-downs.
This week’s cake was part of the Wedding Cake from the marriage of Passiona and Leapfrog’s eldest son. The assorted medically injured set themselves up next to the table so they could graze without having to move much. This scribe made the surprising discovery that some Wedding Cakes have structural supporting pillars.
When “chewed”, they have a texture akin to marinated girders.
Twenty six people and four dogs attended though some dogs may have forgotten to put their names in the sign on book.
On On,
Downhill
Run 2140: 5 October 2023
Runners encountered the first sparse section of bush along the river and after some local cheers of support we were treated to some fine zig-zag work of Basso (Bassendean, to you posh folk) streets, thank to Hare Skippy. Thankfully, the temperature was milder than the scorcher of the previous day, but not so cool that we didn't fully appreciate the delux drink stop in the local piss'ole...I mean pub. Not sure when was the last time we had live music and chips and such treatment (John Forrest Bibilical run?). I think Skippy is trying to bribe us. There were no Skimpy girls, but we had a Skimpy man, so beggars can't be choosers I suppose. (Speaking of Skimpy, he was in fine form during the run, waiting at a false trail for the pack to catch up to him. I expect he might have received a down-down for that one?)
Anyway, Im sure other stuff happened in the Circle. I just don't care, because I wasn't there. If anyone wants to send me highlights of the circle, they are welcome.
On On,
El Keeno
And here's another run report if you didn't like the first one:)
Hi everyone, I know what you’re thinking, “How late is this damn run report??”. Well, it’s entirely Leapfrog’s fault. It’s a mistake many of you make on a regular basis, you screw up. You trust me. But here we go.
We arrived on Site to be greeted by the GM who, later in the circle, congratulated everyone on getting the time right. It turned out the 5 o’clock run DID start at 5 o’clock and we all turned up before that, but well after 4. So. Go us.
The run started as an excellent romp through some of the back gardens of some of the finest Real Estate in Bassendean and only a few hashers were shot at or chased by wild dogs. The walk, apparently, was a much more sedate and legally defensible activity. There are few hills in Bassendean, though the hare, our illustrious GM, did manage to find a couple.
In the circle we were introduced to the Carrot Car, Leapfrogs new MG4, the Oarsome Orange. This was pronounced with carrot pieces, a selection of Cheshire Cheese and some selected Licorice Allsorts. Well… they were not all sorts, they were orange sorts, you get the picture.
The circle was held with a two-minute delay as Leapfrog hobbled off to her car immediately it was called. I say that like it’s unusual. There were some NEW RUNNERS, in fact a record set. Not since run number 1 have so many newbies been at a Hills Run. A welcome to Long John, Marilyn, Poppy, and Faith!
We had splash AND ice AND Monks Accoutrement. Next week we should be back to a more normal 2 out of 3…
Finally, as the Sun set in the west, and we packed up we noticed an extra. Turns out that Skippy, our beloved GM and Horn had gone home without his Partner’s dog. To be fair Sophie didn’t seem overly worried, she was happy enough to be bundled up with Karri by Leapfrog and Passiona and taken home in a carrot. Suffice it to say there will be a down down.
On On,
Dripper
Run: 2139 – 29 October 2023
THE GARRULOUS GATHERING OF GHOSTS, GHOULS AND GOBLINS.
The run of 29/10 was officially a Halloween Run given that was the closest Sunday to Halloween itself. Start point was Palm Terrace in Lesmurdie. Most of the Hashers turned up in costumes- many quite elaborate. There were lots of cloaks, red and black items, skeletons, latex and apparently severe orthodontic problems. Three of us bottle scarred veterans wore Halloween T shirts printed for Hash in 1999. There was a good sized rollup though I didn’t count numbers. This was possibly because the number of sentient beings was fluctuating with changes in the moon though more likely because I never made the effort.
The trail setting was a real family production with Rock Bottom, Crusher and S.N.B. all contributing..Consequently, there were multiple trails- runners, walkers, short walkers, tall walkers, disinterested walkers etc. The brooding presence at the start was very much of the natural world as in an enormous, extremely steep hill covered with a surface of loose rocks. Of course, that is where the trail headed up. The runners looped off but for a time periodically rejoined the walk trail (or at least one of them).
The flirtation with cardiac arrest eventually paid off with an excellent drinks stop manned by Crusher. Multiple bottles of Prosecco plus non alcoholic alternatives were icy cold- a feature worth noting in terms of later developments.
We variously made our way back to the start via the Lesmurdie Falls. Rock Bottom found forces of evil had scrubbed out the trail markings for a loop off the track. Fortunately she was able to provide guidance.
Many of the Hashers removed their Halloween costumes before setting on the run or walk. This was not an option for some. Lurch was dressed in a tuxedo with his head covered in silver makeup. He completed the walk in his outfit. Given his imposing height, he created a ripple of unease amongst the many families out for a Sunday walk.
Everyone eventually got back to the start.
An unusual set of circumstance meant the Splash supplies were very “N”. If Dripper had actually remembered to put frozen water in the Eskies they would have been nice. However, this was still a First World problem. Some of the group went Kimberley Cooler style by temporarily immersing drink containers in the stream flowing nearby.
All the usual sort of stuff happened at the Circle- mass down downs for not dressing up, poor drink temperature control (Dripper) etc. The run and walks were all judged to be excellent efforts. Other events included Slippery Nuts producing a cutting board from under his shirt where he presumably was trying to simulate a 6 pack. GPS got into his fishnet stockings again. There was no apparent relationship between the last two events though anything is possible.
Flying Nun very kindly produced several cakes in honour of her imminent Birthday.
We were all reminded that:
NEXT RUN IS 5 PM
Downhill.
Runners encountered the first sparse section of bush along the river and after some local cheers of support we were treated to some fine zig-zag work of Basso (Bassendean, to you posh folk) streets, thank to Hare Skippy. Thankfully, the temperature was milder than the scorcher of the previous day, but not so cool that we didn't fully appreciate the delux drink stop in the local piss'ole...I mean pub. Not sure when was the last time we had live music and chips and such treatment (John Forrest Bibilical run?). I think Skippy is trying to bribe us. There were no Skimpy girls, but we had a Skimpy man, so beggars can't be choosers I suppose. (Speaking of Skimpy, he was in fine form during the run, waiting at a false trail for the pack to catch up to him. I expect he might have received a down-down for that one?)
Anyway, Im sure other stuff happened in the Circle. I just don't care, because I wasn't there. If anyone wants to send me highlights of the circle, they are welcome.
On On,
El Keeno
And here's another run report if you didn't like the first one:)
Hi everyone, I know what you’re thinking, “How late is this damn run report??”. Well, it’s entirely Leapfrog’s fault. It’s a mistake many of you make on a regular basis, you screw up. You trust me. But here we go.
We arrived on Site to be greeted by the GM who, later in the circle, congratulated everyone on getting the time right. It turned out the 5 o’clock run DID start at 5 o’clock and we all turned up before that, but well after 4. So. Go us.
The run started as an excellent romp through some of the back gardens of some of the finest Real Estate in Bassendean and only a few hashers were shot at or chased by wild dogs. The walk, apparently, was a much more sedate and legally defensible activity. There are few hills in Bassendean, though the hare, our illustrious GM, did manage to find a couple.
In the circle we were introduced to the Carrot Car, Leapfrogs new MG4, the Oarsome Orange. This was pronounced with carrot pieces, a selection of Cheshire Cheese and some selected Licorice Allsorts. Well… they were not all sorts, they were orange sorts, you get the picture.
The circle was held with a two-minute delay as Leapfrog hobbled off to her car immediately it was called. I say that like it’s unusual. There were some NEW RUNNERS, in fact a record set. Not since run number 1 have so many newbies been at a Hills Run. A welcome to Long John, Marilyn, Poppy, and Faith!
We had splash AND ice AND Monks Accoutrement. Next week we should be back to a more normal 2 out of 3…
Finally, as the Sun set in the west, and we packed up we noticed an extra. Turns out that Skippy, our beloved GM and Horn had gone home without his Partner’s dog. To be fair Sophie didn’t seem overly worried, she was happy enough to be bundled up with Karri by Leapfrog and Passiona and taken home in a carrot. Suffice it to say there will be a down down.
On On,
Dripper
Run: 2139 – 29 October 2023
THE GARRULOUS GATHERING OF GHOSTS, GHOULS AND GOBLINS.
The run of 29/10 was officially a Halloween Run given that was the closest Sunday to Halloween itself. Start point was Palm Terrace in Lesmurdie. Most of the Hashers turned up in costumes- many quite elaborate. There were lots of cloaks, red and black items, skeletons, latex and apparently severe orthodontic problems. Three of us bottle scarred veterans wore Halloween T shirts printed for Hash in 1999. There was a good sized rollup though I didn’t count numbers. This was possibly because the number of sentient beings was fluctuating with changes in the moon though more likely because I never made the effort.
The trail setting was a real family production with Rock Bottom, Crusher and S.N.B. all contributing..Consequently, there were multiple trails- runners, walkers, short walkers, tall walkers, disinterested walkers etc. The brooding presence at the start was very much of the natural world as in an enormous, extremely steep hill covered with a surface of loose rocks. Of course, that is where the trail headed up. The runners looped off but for a time periodically rejoined the walk trail (or at least one of them).
The flirtation with cardiac arrest eventually paid off with an excellent drinks stop manned by Crusher. Multiple bottles of Prosecco plus non alcoholic alternatives were icy cold- a feature worth noting in terms of later developments.
We variously made our way back to the start via the Lesmurdie Falls. Rock Bottom found forces of evil had scrubbed out the trail markings for a loop off the track. Fortunately she was able to provide guidance.
Many of the Hashers removed their Halloween costumes before setting on the run or walk. This was not an option for some. Lurch was dressed in a tuxedo with his head covered in silver makeup. He completed the walk in his outfit. Given his imposing height, he created a ripple of unease amongst the many families out for a Sunday walk.
Everyone eventually got back to the start.
An unusual set of circumstance meant the Splash supplies were very “N”. If Dripper had actually remembered to put frozen water in the Eskies they would have been nice. However, this was still a First World problem. Some of the group went Kimberley Cooler style by temporarily immersing drink containers in the stream flowing nearby.
All the usual sort of stuff happened at the Circle- mass down downs for not dressing up, poor drink temperature control (Dripper) etc. The run and walks were all judged to be excellent efforts. Other events included Slippery Nuts producing a cutting board from under his shirt where he presumably was trying to simulate a 6 pack. GPS got into his fishnet stockings again. There was no apparent relationship between the last two events though anything is possible.
Flying Nun very kindly produced several cakes in honour of her imminent Birthday.
We were all reminded that:
NEXT RUN IS 5 PM
Downhill.
Run: 2138 – 22 October 2023
Hares: Dosh and Wacuda
Location: Alpine Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty eight plus five dogs plus one late arrival on L plates (see below)
The Run
El Keeno was missing in action at the start, therefore no sign in book, no money tin and what’s more, Dripper in a very strange head piece! These were not good omens. However, away we went up and down the trails leading to Whistle Pipe Gully, stopping off for mojitos at the drink stop. The drinks were well hidden but eventually located thanks to Flying Nun’s determination to quench her thirst.
The Circle
GPS reported for the walkers. He said great scenery but very steep, causing all 90 kilos of him to slip but he didn’t have much of an injury to show for it. We were very unimpressed.
Big Boy reported on the run and made all the sorts of compliments you’d expect when it was a family affair. Nevertheless it was agreed that it was a well set, challenging run with lots of checks.
Charges – the theme of today’s run was forgetfulness, must be something to do with the moon.
First timers – welcome to Nikky and Rob from Darlington
Dripper’s bluebirds and stars headpiece was the result of his collision with a telescope last week when he sustained concussion and possibly brain damage.
Dripper attempted to charge Pink Bits and Rock Bottom for whinging about the drinks but got our names mixed up and accused Crusher instead. Is this evidence of brain damage?
GPS charged Dosh for forgetting who our current GM is.
Flying Nun charged Mental for spilling the chips then putting them all back in the bag.
Somebody in the Woodward family had a senior’s moment and wrote the name of Zena instead of Karri in the dog list. Zena was the predecessor to Karri.
Mental charged Leapfrog for saying GPS looks very sexy in fishnet stockings which prompted GPS to show off his legs. He needs no encouragement.
El Keeno eventually appeared having completed the run and was awarded a late DD.
Dave the Pom with his L plate guide dog in tow thanked us all for our donations
General Business
The location for next week’s run is Palm Terrace, Forrestfield. SNB and Rock Bottom are the hares. Wear your Halloween gear and bring a walking pole if you are a walker because there are some steep bits.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run 2137 - 15th Octobver 2023
THE HOT PINK BITS BIRTHDAY RUN
The run of 15/10 was set from Parkerville Oval by joint hares Dripper(run) and Pink Bits (walk). In terms of unpacking the title above:
Dripper had set the runners trail under difficult circumstance. The previous night, whilst on duty at the Perth Observatory, he had stood up rapidly, hit the workings of a large telescope and dropped to floor in a mixture of blood and grease. The telescope was unharmed but it did seem he had suffered some degree of concussion. In the famed Hasher spirit of empathy, Dog Whisperer asked whether he saw stars. Astronomers are always at pains to differentiate themselves from Astrologers but it did seem in this instance to be something of a horror scope.
The runner’s and the walker’s trails both seemed to work well and were reported as well marked and pleasant.. There was a drink stop with rather good Pina Coladas which was very close to the start point. Fortunately this was on the return leg rather than just after the start. If the order had been reversed we all may well have just settled in at the drink stop.
The circle afterwards was a sort of rolling maul of semi controlled chaos.
Lots of people got down downs for all sorts of reasons. Sheep Shagger and Trainwreck. got a down down for selling their house without permission from Hash and for being on the point of doing a seachange. Trainwreck was also called out for training between hash appearances which was thought to be in somewhat poor taste and as exhibiting excessive commitment. Another notable offender was El Keeno who when put on the spot didn’t know his own daughter’s Hash Handle.
Lots of awards on the day:
Downhill
Run 2136 - 8th October 2023
Mystery of the Vanishing Hashers
We met at Sawyers Valley on a slightly cooler day. Runners vaulted off into the bush and zig-zagged down to the powerlines, ending a 6-ish km trek in about 45 minutes. Walkers returned about the same, although some were not to be found--later emerging from the tavern across the road. Little Weed received an award for services to humanity: aka recycling cans. (And somehow also received a free beer in the pub?) Skippy reached his venerable 1100 runs. There was a sighting of vintage Hasher Two Stroke, who dropped by to say g'day (much appreciated). And "new" Hasher Stalker was welcomed with some sticky hair, in established Hash tradition.
That's it. On On.
-El Keeno
Run 2135 - 1 October 2023
Passiona Strikes Back
A shortish (I'm not complaining) but enjoyable run, with lots of hacking through bushes and numerous false trails. Hashers were calmly signalled by myself to remain cautious of the treacherous puddles, with their dastardly yet alluring edges. Lots of trails, a couple of road crossings and no climbing on all fours or sliding on butts to get down hills--which is always a plus. Walkers had a whine that the trail was thin in spots, but all came home in the end. Speaking of which, special treats were waiting at Home thanks to Skippy's over-provided party and the Red Family's wedding aniversary. Much enjoyed by all. Circle: something something down downs. You know how it goes.
-El Keeno
Run: 2134 - 24 September 2023
Two French sailors, Four whores, a Swiss and a gun
I was not directly present at the run of 24/10/23. However, later sections of this report do establish the connection.
A relatively small number of dedicated Hashers (16+4 dogs) gathered at the South end of Hardey Rd in Glenforest. The siren call of other long weekend activities and travel meant only the hard core or those without a better alternative fronted up. This was fortunate as the presence of a lockable gate across the road and a sign saying pedestrian access only meant our vehicles had to be double parked or spread down the side of what was a rather narrow dirt road with soft shoulders.
The hare was Skippy who as new Grand Master also welcomed us to the start of his new reign of terror (his words). The start point was set amongst really beautiful bush with kangaroos and horses visible across the skyline of a lush green paddock. The hare advised there was a run, an easy walk and a hard walk. The run was described as brutal as was the hard walk with the additional comment that walkers would have to be mad to consider the hard walk.
The runner’s trail started with a near vertical rock face heading up a very large, steep hill. The hare was obviously working on the principle that forcing people onto hands and knees from the beginning established the natural order of things.
All the trails took in beautiful bush with a slightly more nuanced analysis at the circle. Common elements involved steep hills and long distances. Dosh led the runners home though unfortunately it was a long time before Waicuda returned. This was actually important as he had the keys for the vehicle with the Splash supplies.
At the circle the runners reported the trail had gone up and down every steep hill in the vicinity 2 to 3 times. Light My Fire did the hard walk, possibly
in an act of bravado or because she paid insufficient attention at the briefing. This involved crossing a water pipe above a creek. Pick up chick said something about one of her dogs falling off the pipe into the water so presumably she also did the hard walk. Given she made her traditional late arrival she naturally missed the briefing from the hare.
Pick up chick acted as stand in monk and issued Sooky La La down downs to Little Weed and Pink Bits for complaining about the content of the Splash supplies. Somebody got a down down for not using Hash Handle when they referred to Gaylord the pony as a dog.
This seemed a little harsh as Gaylord the pony clearly is a canine as demonstrated by him lying flat on his back in the middle of the circle with all 4 legs spread wide. Light my fire got an accolade for completing the hard walk.
The French sailors etc? Some of us had the chance for a very interesting and entertaining chat with the gentleman who owned property beyond the road gate and on the other side of the valley. The historical records apparently show that in past colonial days the sailors and their companions made a trip to the property on the other side of the valley. They were busy appreciating the wildflowers or engaged in other pursuits when the Swiss owner appeared with a gun. Things deteriorated and the Swiss guy was killed. All 6 of the visitors were charged and sentenced to be hanged though only one of the sailors was actually hanged. Not sure if there is a salutary lesson in there but it may be the case if one looks hard enough.
Downhill
Hares: Dosh and Wacuda
Location: Alpine Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty eight plus five dogs plus one late arrival on L plates (see below)
The Run
El Keeno was missing in action at the start, therefore no sign in book, no money tin and what’s more, Dripper in a very strange head piece! These were not good omens. However, away we went up and down the trails leading to Whistle Pipe Gully, stopping off for mojitos at the drink stop. The drinks were well hidden but eventually located thanks to Flying Nun’s determination to quench her thirst.
The Circle
GPS reported for the walkers. He said great scenery but very steep, causing all 90 kilos of him to slip but he didn’t have much of an injury to show for it. We were very unimpressed.
Big Boy reported on the run and made all the sorts of compliments you’d expect when it was a family affair. Nevertheless it was agreed that it was a well set, challenging run with lots of checks.
Charges – the theme of today’s run was forgetfulness, must be something to do with the moon.
First timers – welcome to Nikky and Rob from Darlington
Dripper’s bluebirds and stars headpiece was the result of his collision with a telescope last week when he sustained concussion and possibly brain damage.
Dripper attempted to charge Pink Bits and Rock Bottom for whinging about the drinks but got our names mixed up and accused Crusher instead. Is this evidence of brain damage?
GPS charged Dosh for forgetting who our current GM is.
Flying Nun charged Mental for spilling the chips then putting them all back in the bag.
Somebody in the Woodward family had a senior’s moment and wrote the name of Zena instead of Karri in the dog list. Zena was the predecessor to Karri.
Mental charged Leapfrog for saying GPS looks very sexy in fishnet stockings which prompted GPS to show off his legs. He needs no encouragement.
El Keeno eventually appeared having completed the run and was awarded a late DD.
Dave the Pom with his L plate guide dog in tow thanked us all for our donations
General Business
The location for next week’s run is Palm Terrace, Forrestfield. SNB and Rock Bottom are the hares. Wear your Halloween gear and bring a walking pole if you are a walker because there are some steep bits.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run 2137 - 15th Octobver 2023
THE HOT PINK BITS BIRTHDAY RUN
The run of 15/10 was set from Parkerville Oval by joint hares Dripper(run) and Pink Bits (walk). In terms of unpacking the title above:
- It was hot at 32 degrees
- Pink bits was there
- It was almost her Birthday
Dripper had set the runners trail under difficult circumstance. The previous night, whilst on duty at the Perth Observatory, he had stood up rapidly, hit the workings of a large telescope and dropped to floor in a mixture of blood and grease. The telescope was unharmed but it did seem he had suffered some degree of concussion. In the famed Hasher spirit of empathy, Dog Whisperer asked whether he saw stars. Astronomers are always at pains to differentiate themselves from Astrologers but it did seem in this instance to be something of a horror scope.
The runner’s and the walker’s trails both seemed to work well and were reported as well marked and pleasant.. There was a drink stop with rather good Pina Coladas which was very close to the start point. Fortunately this was on the return leg rather than just after the start. If the order had been reversed we all may well have just settled in at the drink stop.
The circle afterwards was a sort of rolling maul of semi controlled chaos.
Lots of people got down downs for all sorts of reasons. Sheep Shagger and Trainwreck. got a down down for selling their house without permission from Hash and for being on the point of doing a seachange. Trainwreck was also called out for training between hash appearances which was thought to be in somewhat poor taste and as exhibiting excessive commitment. Another notable offender was El Keeno who when put on the spot didn’t know his own daughter’s Hash Handle.
Lots of awards on the day:
- Shagged Out 100 runs
- Belt up 100 runs
- Passiona 1600 runs (but no award)
- One of the small dogs got an award for 10 runs. This rather demonstrated where Passiona is placed on the food chain.
Downhill
Run 2136 - 8th October 2023
Mystery of the Vanishing Hashers
We met at Sawyers Valley on a slightly cooler day. Runners vaulted off into the bush and zig-zagged down to the powerlines, ending a 6-ish km trek in about 45 minutes. Walkers returned about the same, although some were not to be found--later emerging from the tavern across the road. Little Weed received an award for services to humanity: aka recycling cans. (And somehow also received a free beer in the pub?) Skippy reached his venerable 1100 runs. There was a sighting of vintage Hasher Two Stroke, who dropped by to say g'day (much appreciated). And "new" Hasher Stalker was welcomed with some sticky hair, in established Hash tradition.
That's it. On On.
-El Keeno
Run 2135 - 1 October 2023
Passiona Strikes Back
A shortish (I'm not complaining) but enjoyable run, with lots of hacking through bushes and numerous false trails. Hashers were calmly signalled by myself to remain cautious of the treacherous puddles, with their dastardly yet alluring edges. Lots of trails, a couple of road crossings and no climbing on all fours or sliding on butts to get down hills--which is always a plus. Walkers had a whine that the trail was thin in spots, but all came home in the end. Speaking of which, special treats were waiting at Home thanks to Skippy's over-provided party and the Red Family's wedding aniversary. Much enjoyed by all. Circle: something something down downs. You know how it goes.
-El Keeno
Run: 2134 - 24 September 2023
Two French sailors, Four whores, a Swiss and a gun
I was not directly present at the run of 24/10/23. However, later sections of this report do establish the connection.
A relatively small number of dedicated Hashers (16+4 dogs) gathered at the South end of Hardey Rd in Glenforest. The siren call of other long weekend activities and travel meant only the hard core or those without a better alternative fronted up. This was fortunate as the presence of a lockable gate across the road and a sign saying pedestrian access only meant our vehicles had to be double parked or spread down the side of what was a rather narrow dirt road with soft shoulders.
The hare was Skippy who as new Grand Master also welcomed us to the start of his new reign of terror (his words). The start point was set amongst really beautiful bush with kangaroos and horses visible across the skyline of a lush green paddock. The hare advised there was a run, an easy walk and a hard walk. The run was described as brutal as was the hard walk with the additional comment that walkers would have to be mad to consider the hard walk.
The runner’s trail started with a near vertical rock face heading up a very large, steep hill. The hare was obviously working on the principle that forcing people onto hands and knees from the beginning established the natural order of things.
All the trails took in beautiful bush with a slightly more nuanced analysis at the circle. Common elements involved steep hills and long distances. Dosh led the runners home though unfortunately it was a long time before Waicuda returned. This was actually important as he had the keys for the vehicle with the Splash supplies.
At the circle the runners reported the trail had gone up and down every steep hill in the vicinity 2 to 3 times. Light My Fire did the hard walk, possibly
in an act of bravado or because she paid insufficient attention at the briefing. This involved crossing a water pipe above a creek. Pick up chick said something about one of her dogs falling off the pipe into the water so presumably she also did the hard walk. Given she made her traditional late arrival she naturally missed the briefing from the hare.
Pick up chick acted as stand in monk and issued Sooky La La down downs to Little Weed and Pink Bits for complaining about the content of the Splash supplies. Somebody got a down down for not using Hash Handle when they referred to Gaylord the pony as a dog.
This seemed a little harsh as Gaylord the pony clearly is a canine as demonstrated by him lying flat on his back in the middle of the circle with all 4 legs spread wide. Light my fire got an accolade for completing the hard walk.
The French sailors etc? Some of us had the chance for a very interesting and entertaining chat with the gentleman who owned property beyond the road gate and on the other side of the valley. The historical records apparently show that in past colonial days the sailors and their companions made a trip to the property on the other side of the valley. They were busy appreciating the wildflowers or engaged in other pursuits when the Swiss owner appeared with a gun. Things deteriorated and the Swiss guy was killed. All 6 of the visitors were charged and sentenced to be hanged though only one of the sailors was actually hanged. Not sure if there is a salutary lesson in there but it may be the case if one looks hard enough.
Downhill
Run: AGM Run 2133 – 17 September 2023
Hares: SNB and Rock Bottom
Location: 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty seven plus three dogs
The Run
Disclaimer: It is highly unlikely that this is a true and accurate account of our AGM proceedings. I take no reponsibility for the inaccuracies and no correspondence will be entered into. Since it is now common knowledge that our dog ate my hearing aid I feel free to craft this record as an exercise in creative writing, given that I missed a lot of the details. Enough said, on with the show!
It was a brilliant day for a walk in the woods, such a shame that the evening turned rather chilly. The walkers had a choice of a long or a short trail, mainly flat, well-marked (says she with characteristic modesty), while the runners set out to tackle SNB’s devious course featuring lots of checks. All three trails encompassed the drink stop with bubbles and beer on offer.
The Circle
A very brief opening by outgoing GM, GPS who called on the hares to take their medicine then called for charges.
Charges
LTNS – Ange, Cow Pat and Blowfly
Mental charged Wacuda for excessive misbehaviour when at school and having two canes broken while being whacked by the headmaster. What relevance to hashing you may well ask.
Mental charged El Keeno for letting his daughter shiver in the cold
Dave the Pom thanked us all for individually donating to his fund raising efforts for Guide Dogs for the Blind and also for the $100 from the club.
It was then over to Leapfrog who handed out cute little torches to all members of the outgoing committee and gave a brief summary of our financial status. She reported that there is lots of loot in the kitty, a healthy $1,532.61 in fact. Special thanks to Little Weed for contributing $718.80 through her recycling efforts. More numbers floated around including $400 for booze and $450 worth of T shirts and badges but I have no idea whether that is credit or debit – see Disclaimer and if you really want to know, I’m sure our Chancellor of the Exchequer, Leapfrog will oblige..
Having dealt with the financials she then announced the new committee.
New Committee
GM and Hash Horn
Skippy
Hash Vice
GPS
Hash Cash, Haberdash and Historian
Leapfrog
Hash Splash and Monk
Dripper
Hash Nosh
Light My Fire
On Sec and Scribe (edit by el keeno: I think Downhill is being Scribe, but whatever; we'll work it out)
El Keeno
Sometime later, after demolishing nearly all the delicious food provided by various members of HHH, we got on to the Awards ceremony.
Awards and Special Mentions
Most Runs of the Year
Skippy and El Keeno who set nine runs each
Most drink stops
Skippy
Most mathematically incompetent
Pink Bits and Dripper
Hound of the Year
Skippy
Short Cutting Bastard Award
Wacuda
Services to Hash
Leapfrog and Passiona
Best Run of the Year
Downhill for his Belmont run
Hash Crash Award
Leapfrog
Shit Run of the Year
Rubber Duckie
OnOn
Rock Bottom
(Edit by El Keeno using his new powers of being Hash Hacker: Unoffical Humblest and Handsomest Award goes to El Keeno once again...a unanimous decision! Disclaimer: other Hashers may not recall this happening. Must be the alcohol.)
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Run: 2132 – 10 September 2023
Hare: Rubber Duckie
Location: Federation Gardens, Hartfield Park, Morrison Road, Forrestfield
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Run
As we learnt from the last hash he set for HHH, Rubber Duckie very much does his own thing. In this case, it was an excellent choice of venue, an unbelievably long briefing, half way through which most people had tuned out, a short and long walk which both lived up to their descriptions and a run which was almost the same length as the long walk. He informed us he had used approx 10 kilos of lime to mark the course and that there was a drink stop – hurrah! As before, he had also cooked us a meal but more of that later. The short walkers and runners appeared long before some of the long walkers who dribbled in over about half an hour. Rubber Duckie’s explanation was that they wouldn’t leave the DS until the esky had been emptied. Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts were the last to return with PB having fashioned a yellow plastic dog poo bag as headgear and claiming she had completely lost her sanity. No one disputed this!
The Circle
We gathered around the fire for what GPS assured us would be his last last hash as GM. He summoned the hare and explained that although he had missed his last monumental run, he believed this one was much better. Dripper’s assessment of the run was that it was well-marked but that he had missed the plank which led to a discussion of the plank.
Charges
The Monk claimed that she had followed three hefty male hashers who had skipped across the plank which was spanning a ditch only to break the plank as a result of her dainty, girly steps. Does this suggest Dosh is not as lissome as she thinks she is? She then accused Rubber Duckie of attempting to add some elevation to a flat course by leading the runners into a ditch.
LTNS – Deliverance and Dave the Pom
Slippery Nuts was called on to give an explanation for his absence
Mental charged Skippy for lounging about doing bugger all while Passiona spent several hours fixing the gearbox of his car
Dripper charged outgoing GM, GPS for issuing a one minute warning then wandering off to retrieve something from his car and re-joining us several minutes later.
Dave the Pom played us a recording of a radio interview with Pink Bits promoting hashing and then invited us to donate to his Guide Dog fundraising effort.
Rock Bottom took a DD wearing a silly hat for her birthday
Rubber Duckie then announced he was going home to fetch some food and would return in 15 minutes. It was a long quarter hour during which we ate Rock Bottom’s cake as an entrée. However, it was worth the wait because when RD eventually returned, we feasted on sausage casserole, baked beans and roast veg. Excellent food, RD.
General Business
Next week is our AGM which will take place at 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda, home of Crusher and Rock Bottom. SNB will set the run and Rock Bottom will set the walkers’ trail. There will be prizes and food provided. Please bring eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run: 2131 – 3 September 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Pioneer Park, Mt Helena
Head Count: Twenty four plus six dogs
The Run
Thank goodness for El Keeno. So far has set seven runs this year. That’s right folks seven runs in eight months! How would we manage without him? So, another well-marked trail in a familiar location and although the day was chilly, we didn’t get wet although Skippy said he was confused at the start of the run by rapid changes from sunny to cloudy conditions.
The Circle
Skippy managed to get us into some sort of order with his trumpet solo and the GM kicked off by explaining that he was almost late owing to a Fathers’ Day obligation at Byford. He was not impressed by the gift his family had given him - Old Fart beer. The mention of Fathers’ Day prompted Leapfrog to distribute chocolate bars for all the fathers present as well as Little Weed who claimed to be a proxy father just because she wanted some chocolate.
Awards
Hot Rod and Topless were congratulated for completing 25 hashes although Topless said it was a bit overdue because she had already done 39.
Dripper and Pink Bits were charged with cooking the books – again! It seems they both claimed to have completed 900 runs when in fact their total was one or two or twenty or thirty (?) less. There seems to be some doubt here about the competency of the auditor, maybe we should demand a recount.
Charges
The Monk charged Dripper with wrecking a fence as he tried to shortcut.
Leapfrog and Passiona were given an accolade for organising a fabulous camp away weekend
Pink Bits charged El Keeno for performing traffic warden duties at the roundabout at the start of the run.
Little Weed was given a DD for her beanie festooned with lights.
Snake Charmer charged Little Weed for deviating off course to buy some food. She said she’d got a bargain reduced from $5 to $2.
Pink Bits tried to tell a dad joke which went horribly flat
General Business
The AGM will be held on 17 September at 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda. There will be prizes and food provided. Please bring eating utensils. Financially the club is in a good position thanks to the $600 raised by Little Weed’s recycling efforts.
Next week’s run will be at Federation Park, Morrison Rd, Forrestfield. Rubber Duckie is the hare. He will provide food so once again, bring your own eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2130 - 26 August 2023
Kwolyin Camp Hash Away
Socks on Rocks Run
Hares: Dosh & Wacuda
17 Hashers and 3 happy hounds travelled through the magical green and gold paddocks of wheat and canola to our Hash Away in the Eastern wheat belt.
Highlights of the weekend
* Kwolyin Camp - a free camping area with camp kitchen, big under cover BBQ, huge fire pit & flushing loos! Thanke to the shire of Bruce Rock.
* Hash Nosh provided by Leapfrog and Passiona from our Hash Cash stash.
* Dosh and Wacuda set a great hash run and walk up, down and around the nearby Coarin rock - with Drink stop.
* Everyone help with the cooking - Special thanks for the delicious desserts.
* Exploring Kokerbin Rock with a wave wall, caves and panoramic views.
* Star and moon gazing through a telescope, thanks to Dripper.
* Celebrating Drippers 899th run with a very special plate.
* Camp fires, Sun downers on the rock, glorious early spring sunshine and a fantastic group of hashers made for another memorable Hash Away.
On On Leapfrog.
Hares: SNB and Rock Bottom
Location: 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty seven plus three dogs
The Run
Disclaimer: It is highly unlikely that this is a true and accurate account of our AGM proceedings. I take no reponsibility for the inaccuracies and no correspondence will be entered into. Since it is now common knowledge that our dog ate my hearing aid I feel free to craft this record as an exercise in creative writing, given that I missed a lot of the details. Enough said, on with the show!
It was a brilliant day for a walk in the woods, such a shame that the evening turned rather chilly. The walkers had a choice of a long or a short trail, mainly flat, well-marked (says she with characteristic modesty), while the runners set out to tackle SNB’s devious course featuring lots of checks. All three trails encompassed the drink stop with bubbles and beer on offer.
The Circle
A very brief opening by outgoing GM, GPS who called on the hares to take their medicine then called for charges.
Charges
LTNS – Ange, Cow Pat and Blowfly
Mental charged Wacuda for excessive misbehaviour when at school and having two canes broken while being whacked by the headmaster. What relevance to hashing you may well ask.
Mental charged El Keeno for letting his daughter shiver in the cold
Dave the Pom thanked us all for individually donating to his fund raising efforts for Guide Dogs for the Blind and also for the $100 from the club.
It was then over to Leapfrog who handed out cute little torches to all members of the outgoing committee and gave a brief summary of our financial status. She reported that there is lots of loot in the kitty, a healthy $1,532.61 in fact. Special thanks to Little Weed for contributing $718.80 through her recycling efforts. More numbers floated around including $400 for booze and $450 worth of T shirts and badges but I have no idea whether that is credit or debit – see Disclaimer and if you really want to know, I’m sure our Chancellor of the Exchequer, Leapfrog will oblige..
Having dealt with the financials she then announced the new committee.
New Committee
GM and Hash Horn
Skippy
Hash Vice
GPS
Hash Cash, Haberdash and Historian
Leapfrog
Hash Splash and Monk
Dripper
Hash Nosh
Light My Fire
On Sec and Scribe (edit by el keeno: I think Downhill is being Scribe, but whatever; we'll work it out)
El Keeno
Sometime later, after demolishing nearly all the delicious food provided by various members of HHH, we got on to the Awards ceremony.
Awards and Special Mentions
Most Runs of the Year
Skippy and El Keeno who set nine runs each
Most drink stops
Skippy
Most mathematically incompetent
Pink Bits and Dripper
Hound of the Year
Skippy
Short Cutting Bastard Award
Wacuda
Services to Hash
Leapfrog and Passiona
Best Run of the Year
Downhill for his Belmont run
Hash Crash Award
Leapfrog
Shit Run of the Year
Rubber Duckie
OnOn
Rock Bottom
(Edit by El Keeno using his new powers of being Hash Hacker: Unoffical Humblest and Handsomest Award goes to El Keeno once again...a unanimous decision! Disclaimer: other Hashers may not recall this happening. Must be the alcohol.)
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Run: 2132 – 10 September 2023
Hare: Rubber Duckie
Location: Federation Gardens, Hartfield Park, Morrison Road, Forrestfield
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Run
As we learnt from the last hash he set for HHH, Rubber Duckie very much does his own thing. In this case, it was an excellent choice of venue, an unbelievably long briefing, half way through which most people had tuned out, a short and long walk which both lived up to their descriptions and a run which was almost the same length as the long walk. He informed us he had used approx 10 kilos of lime to mark the course and that there was a drink stop – hurrah! As before, he had also cooked us a meal but more of that later. The short walkers and runners appeared long before some of the long walkers who dribbled in over about half an hour. Rubber Duckie’s explanation was that they wouldn’t leave the DS until the esky had been emptied. Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts were the last to return with PB having fashioned a yellow plastic dog poo bag as headgear and claiming she had completely lost her sanity. No one disputed this!
The Circle
We gathered around the fire for what GPS assured us would be his last last hash as GM. He summoned the hare and explained that although he had missed his last monumental run, he believed this one was much better. Dripper’s assessment of the run was that it was well-marked but that he had missed the plank which led to a discussion of the plank.
Charges
The Monk claimed that she had followed three hefty male hashers who had skipped across the plank which was spanning a ditch only to break the plank as a result of her dainty, girly steps. Does this suggest Dosh is not as lissome as she thinks she is? She then accused Rubber Duckie of attempting to add some elevation to a flat course by leading the runners into a ditch.
LTNS – Deliverance and Dave the Pom
Slippery Nuts was called on to give an explanation for his absence
Mental charged Skippy for lounging about doing bugger all while Passiona spent several hours fixing the gearbox of his car
Dripper charged outgoing GM, GPS for issuing a one minute warning then wandering off to retrieve something from his car and re-joining us several minutes later.
Dave the Pom played us a recording of a radio interview with Pink Bits promoting hashing and then invited us to donate to his Guide Dog fundraising effort.
Rock Bottom took a DD wearing a silly hat for her birthday
Rubber Duckie then announced he was going home to fetch some food and would return in 15 minutes. It was a long quarter hour during which we ate Rock Bottom’s cake as an entrée. However, it was worth the wait because when RD eventually returned, we feasted on sausage casserole, baked beans and roast veg. Excellent food, RD.
General Business
Next week is our AGM which will take place at 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda, home of Crusher and Rock Bottom. SNB will set the run and Rock Bottom will set the walkers’ trail. There will be prizes and food provided. Please bring eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run: 2131 – 3 September 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Pioneer Park, Mt Helena
Head Count: Twenty four plus six dogs
The Run
Thank goodness for El Keeno. So far has set seven runs this year. That’s right folks seven runs in eight months! How would we manage without him? So, another well-marked trail in a familiar location and although the day was chilly, we didn’t get wet although Skippy said he was confused at the start of the run by rapid changes from sunny to cloudy conditions.
The Circle
Skippy managed to get us into some sort of order with his trumpet solo and the GM kicked off by explaining that he was almost late owing to a Fathers’ Day obligation at Byford. He was not impressed by the gift his family had given him - Old Fart beer. The mention of Fathers’ Day prompted Leapfrog to distribute chocolate bars for all the fathers present as well as Little Weed who claimed to be a proxy father just because she wanted some chocolate.
Awards
Hot Rod and Topless were congratulated for completing 25 hashes although Topless said it was a bit overdue because she had already done 39.
Dripper and Pink Bits were charged with cooking the books – again! It seems they both claimed to have completed 900 runs when in fact their total was one or two or twenty or thirty (?) less. There seems to be some doubt here about the competency of the auditor, maybe we should demand a recount.
Charges
The Monk charged Dripper with wrecking a fence as he tried to shortcut.
Leapfrog and Passiona were given an accolade for organising a fabulous camp away weekend
Pink Bits charged El Keeno for performing traffic warden duties at the roundabout at the start of the run.
Little Weed was given a DD for her beanie festooned with lights.
Snake Charmer charged Little Weed for deviating off course to buy some food. She said she’d got a bargain reduced from $5 to $2.
Pink Bits tried to tell a dad joke which went horribly flat
General Business
The AGM will be held on 17 September at 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda. There will be prizes and food provided. Please bring eating utensils. Financially the club is in a good position thanks to the $600 raised by Little Weed’s recycling efforts.
Next week’s run will be at Federation Park, Morrison Rd, Forrestfield. Rubber Duckie is the hare. He will provide food so once again, bring your own eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2130 - 26 August 2023
Kwolyin Camp Hash Away
Socks on Rocks Run
Hares: Dosh & Wacuda
17 Hashers and 3 happy hounds travelled through the magical green and gold paddocks of wheat and canola to our Hash Away in the Eastern wheat belt.
Highlights of the weekend
* Kwolyin Camp - a free camping area with camp kitchen, big under cover BBQ, huge fire pit & flushing loos! Thanke to the shire of Bruce Rock.
* Hash Nosh provided by Leapfrog and Passiona from our Hash Cash stash.
* Dosh and Wacuda set a great hash run and walk up, down and around the nearby Coarin rock - with Drink stop.
* Everyone help with the cooking - Special thanks for the delicious desserts.
* Exploring Kokerbin Rock with a wave wall, caves and panoramic views.
* Star and moon gazing through a telescope, thanks to Dripper.
* Celebrating Drippers 899th run with a very special plate.
* Camp fires, Sun downers on the rock, glorious early spring sunshine and a fantastic group of hashers made for another memorable Hash Away.
On On Leapfrog.
Run: 2129 – 20 August 2023
Hare: Teflon Kid and family
Location: Helena Valley Road, Helena Valley
Head Count: Twenty four plus three dogs
The Run
Question time in the Year 1/2 classroom:
Teacher: And what did you do to celebrate your birthday, Max?
Teflon: I set a walking trail on Sunday afternoon for a bunch of geriatrics.
Teacher: Commendable Max but rather unusual.
And there we have it, our own very junior hare, not yet seven and setting a trail which, apart from a few wobbly W’s, was very well done. Not sure who set the runners’ trail but according to Big Boy the checks were “amazing”. Meanwhile Free Beer trundled to the drink stop with a cart containing various drinks and various children to slake our thirst for the homeward journey.
The Circle
We gathered around a roaring fire. Our GM had returned from we-don’t-know-where and after soliciting feedback about the run, summoned the hare for a drink. Leapfrog then produced gifts for Teflon and Raspberry so we all sang happy birthday and the circle was held up for a bit while they opened their presents.
LTNS – Maid Muffin, a very LTNS, welcome back.
Leapfrog again commandeered proceedings to award badges to Free Beer and Pole Dancer for notching up 250 runs and Little Weed was given a plate to commemorate her 450th.
The Monk took over and summoned El Keeno to account for several past misdemeanours, including nicking off early. He said he had a sore leg.
Downhill had been tasked with checking out the facilities at the venue for the weekend away and failed dismally. He could not provide information about toilets, barbecues or work surfaces. Probably the time worn ruse to make sure he’s never given another job.
Leapfrog had audited Dripper and charged him with cooking the books, claiming 900 runs when he’d “only “done 899. Shame on you Dripper.
GPS suggested we start thinking about a replacement GM. He intends to be present at the next AGM so that he can’t be dobbed in in absentia. We then all got stuck into Light My Fire’s excellent noodle soup.
General Business
For those going on the weekend away, make sure you bring your own drinking water and firewood. There will be no run next week other than at the weekend away. For the following Sunday, 3 September, the location is Pioneer Park, Mt Helena and El Keeno will be the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2128 - 13 August 2023
Hare: Fire Extinguisher
The day was perfect for a Hash event ... and this was a very auspicious event. A large-ish pack met at the Hare's (Fire Extinguishers) home deep in the lovely Bickley valley. There was a plethora of dogs who all had a good time frolicking (with a few territorial growls ...!)
The Hare gave some random instructions with the promise of a drink stop. We all set off in the same direction - runners on the usual flour dots - walkers on W's. The walk was relatively flat on a lovely bushy track and not too long with the much anticipated drink stop being the cherry on the cake ! (more on cake later ... ) Runners had a bit more work to do, further to go and some hills to contend with ..... but they arrived at the drink stop as walkers were leaving (not much in the esky)
On return to the ranch, Vice GM Skippy (GPS absent AGAIN ?) had a tough time rounding up the Hashers as we were treated to a delicious chicken salad with extras as well as cake (more on cake later ...)
Eventually, we got our stuff together and started the circle. The Hare was congratulated as well as chastised for forgetting False Trails NEED a T to actually end them ... seems there were runners going on and on (Oh ! on/on Ha Ha) Could be a few still running !
We then celebrated Wacuda's Birthday (hence not one but two delicious home made cakes by DOSH) More cake eaten ... & DD for him. Then by special intervention of the Hash Committee, we FINALLY named little Aurora *** RASPBERRY *** Been way too long to wait for a name but this is a good one !
Congratulations ! She did a down-down in true Hash style ....
Then the RA took over and administered a few charges ... as did a few Hashers for sex-on-the-run (Fire Ex and Partner) and some other ones too tedious to mention..... BUT WAIT ... there is one that HAS to be mentioned. El Keeno - who only made it up the drive before having a pulled calf muscle (which is historic) playing up again with a vengeance ! He walked for a while but declined the rest of the festivities and limped home (well drove !) to lick his wounds. So now he has 2 back to back DD's - one from last week too. We are noting all this in the black book of doom !
Anyway, back to more cake eating and then song singing and eventually, the pack moving out. It was a truly great Hash run and thanks Fire Ex for your kind hospitality !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Hare: Teflon Kid and family
Location: Helena Valley Road, Helena Valley
Head Count: Twenty four plus three dogs
The Run
Question time in the Year 1/2 classroom:
Teacher: And what did you do to celebrate your birthday, Max?
Teflon: I set a walking trail on Sunday afternoon for a bunch of geriatrics.
Teacher: Commendable Max but rather unusual.
And there we have it, our own very junior hare, not yet seven and setting a trail which, apart from a few wobbly W’s, was very well done. Not sure who set the runners’ trail but according to Big Boy the checks were “amazing”. Meanwhile Free Beer trundled to the drink stop with a cart containing various drinks and various children to slake our thirst for the homeward journey.
The Circle
We gathered around a roaring fire. Our GM had returned from we-don’t-know-where and after soliciting feedback about the run, summoned the hare for a drink. Leapfrog then produced gifts for Teflon and Raspberry so we all sang happy birthday and the circle was held up for a bit while they opened their presents.
LTNS – Maid Muffin, a very LTNS, welcome back.
Leapfrog again commandeered proceedings to award badges to Free Beer and Pole Dancer for notching up 250 runs and Little Weed was given a plate to commemorate her 450th.
The Monk took over and summoned El Keeno to account for several past misdemeanours, including nicking off early. He said he had a sore leg.
Downhill had been tasked with checking out the facilities at the venue for the weekend away and failed dismally. He could not provide information about toilets, barbecues or work surfaces. Probably the time worn ruse to make sure he’s never given another job.
Leapfrog had audited Dripper and charged him with cooking the books, claiming 900 runs when he’d “only “done 899. Shame on you Dripper.
GPS suggested we start thinking about a replacement GM. He intends to be present at the next AGM so that he can’t be dobbed in in absentia. We then all got stuck into Light My Fire’s excellent noodle soup.
General Business
For those going on the weekend away, make sure you bring your own drinking water and firewood. There will be no run next week other than at the weekend away. For the following Sunday, 3 September, the location is Pioneer Park, Mt Helena and El Keeno will be the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2128 - 13 August 2023
Hare: Fire Extinguisher
The day was perfect for a Hash event ... and this was a very auspicious event. A large-ish pack met at the Hare's (Fire Extinguishers) home deep in the lovely Bickley valley. There was a plethora of dogs who all had a good time frolicking (with a few territorial growls ...!)
The Hare gave some random instructions with the promise of a drink stop. We all set off in the same direction - runners on the usual flour dots - walkers on W's. The walk was relatively flat on a lovely bushy track and not too long with the much anticipated drink stop being the cherry on the cake ! (more on cake later ... ) Runners had a bit more work to do, further to go and some hills to contend with ..... but they arrived at the drink stop as walkers were leaving (not much in the esky)
On return to the ranch, Vice GM Skippy (GPS absent AGAIN ?) had a tough time rounding up the Hashers as we were treated to a delicious chicken salad with extras as well as cake (more on cake later ...)
Eventually, we got our stuff together and started the circle. The Hare was congratulated as well as chastised for forgetting False Trails NEED a T to actually end them ... seems there were runners going on and on (Oh ! on/on Ha Ha) Could be a few still running !
We then celebrated Wacuda's Birthday (hence not one but two delicious home made cakes by DOSH) More cake eaten ... & DD for him. Then by special intervention of the Hash Committee, we FINALLY named little Aurora *** RASPBERRY *** Been way too long to wait for a name but this is a good one !
Congratulations ! She did a down-down in true Hash style ....
Then the RA took over and administered a few charges ... as did a few Hashers for sex-on-the-run (Fire Ex and Partner) and some other ones too tedious to mention..... BUT WAIT ... there is one that HAS to be mentioned. El Keeno - who only made it up the drive before having a pulled calf muscle (which is historic) playing up again with a vengeance ! He walked for a while but declined the rest of the festivities and limped home (well drove !) to lick his wounds. So now he has 2 back to back DD's - one from last week too. We are noting all this in the black book of doom !
Anyway, back to more cake eating and then song singing and eventually, the pack moving out. It was a truly great Hash run and thanks Fire Ex for your kind hospitality !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run: 2127 – 6 August 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Mahogany Creek Hall, Jacoby Rd, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty two plus four dogs. Welcome back Ferret
The Run
Perfect weather for a walk in the woods with a well-marked course on winding bush tracks for the first half then the return journey along the railway line trail. The runners reported 7 – 8 kms with Dosh commenting that there were checks every 200m. It seems the hare got a bit carried away, but hey, you can never have too many checks.
The Circle
GPS was absent without submitting a note so the ever-versatile Skippy filled in as GM. He awarded the hare a DD for setting an excellent trail and commented on his odd matching shoes. Pole Dancer and Belt Up were rewarded for blazing their own trail.
Other Charges
More odd behaviour from our Monk who has either been defrocked or has defrocked herself. She attempted to draw attention away from her lack of monkly habit by charging Skippy and Spot On with racing but it rebounded when Passiona charged her for racing. Dosh then countered by charging Passiona for being a neglectful husband and not staying home to look after Leapfrog.
Skippy charged Pink Bits for trying to offload her rubbish on anyone foolish enough to take it.
Rubber Duckie was charged for being Ed the Confessor, not sure why. I missed that bit.
Belt Up was charged again because it’s always the man’s fault.
LTNS – Tessa, Topless and Hot Rod
Downhill almost got charged for using his phone but we’d run out of drinks.
General Business
Next week’s run will be at 13 Broadway Rd, Bickley. Fire Extinguisher is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2126 – 30 July 2023
Hare: Crusher
Location: Railway Square, Midland
Head Count: Twenty three plus five dogs
The Run
The hare had thoughtfully found us a sheltered spot for the assembly point which we didn’t need after all because there was no rain. It was a fairly flat, fast course, taking in the old workshops, the coal dam, a creek and the scenic attractions of Hazelmere – 4 kms for the walkers 6+ for the runners. Points scored for the location and excellent marking, points lost for the lack of drink stop. You can’t win them all.
The Circle
GPS welcomed Scarlett Runner Bean from Tasmania who was last seen at the Hills Hash in 2018.Too long he said, come back sooner next time. He asked for feedback. Scarlett RB said she enjoyed the walk, especially the big W’s. Dosh commented on the run – well set but no drink stop. Dripper showed his age by suggesting Crusher must have used a T square to set such precision arrows. Whoever knows what a T-square is nowadays, even Google is turning cartwheels warning me I’m using non-standard language?
Our Monk had returned from doing whatever monks so when they’re AWOL from hash. Best not to ask! She charged Skippy for avoiding a puddle for fear of getting his shoes wet. Passiona was charged for offering Dosh a private viewing of the hash movie she missed at his birthday run.
Other Charges
Pink Bits charged GPS and Zip-It for short cutting.
El Keeno has a carry over charge for leaving early.
GPS owned up to having new shoes and christened them in the usual hash fashion.
GPS charged Crusher for being a grumpy old man.
Dosh delivered a final warning to Pick Up Chick over her reluctance to wear hash gear. Ice next week if she rocks up in civvies.
The final charge went to Leapfrog and Dripper for omitting the change in the cost of cider when re-writing the price list for drinks.
General Business
Leapfrog will provide information about the Hash Away weekend (25-27Augustl) two weeks before. She said it’s pointless providing it earlier because people will lose it. That’s what I call a vote of confidence.
Next week’s run will be at the Mahogany Creek Hall, 3060 Strettle Rd, Mahogany Creek. El Keeno is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2125 – 23 July 2023
Hare: Downhill
Location: Cole Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty one plus two dogs
The Run
A rather bumpy drive in to the run site, someone had thoughtfully dug deep holes in the gravel road in a sinister attempt to wreck the undercarriage of our vehicles. Undaunted, we assembled under the power lines with runners and walkers heading off in opposite directions, leaving Crusher to tend the fire. We walkers did a 4km ramble in a vaguely square shape while the three or four runners travelled 6+ kms on hilly bush trails.
The Circle
GPS had trouble getting the pack to form a circle since a few latecomers (who shall be nameless but you know who you are), couldn’t be enticed away from Light My Fire’s excellent spring rolls. Eventually a sort of circle formed and the GM kicked off the proceedings by saying he liked the walk. He then called on El Keeno to comment on the run – a difficult task when you’ve got a mouthful of spring roll. EK said it was a good run, despite there being no drink stop which prompted Pink Bits to question when he last provided a drink stop. Too long ago, he couldn’t remember.
GPS then had a special announcement to make – we had a VIRGIN in the pack. This led to frantic glances all round. How could we have missed such a rare specimen. He then finished the sentence. It was a VIRGIN MONK. Given that Dosh is still AWOL and Wacuda was noticeably absent, Zip-It stepped up to the podium and took on the duties or RA. Brava Zip-It!
Charges
El Keeno for flashing flesh in his skimpy shorts
Dog Whisperer and Rebecca for short cutting and holding hands. Several of us saw GPS and Zip-It short cutting also but they pleaded diplomatic immunity on account of their elevated status.
Pink Bits suggested Miss Whiplash should take a DD for her 2yo granddaughter who was wearing new shoes.
Scooby Doo for arriving late.
Leapfrog reminded us that Flying Nun was heading off to do a 17 day walk on the Larapinta Trail and was duly awarded a DD.
General Business
Leapfrog gave us some advance notice about the hash away weekend from Friday 27 – Sunday 27 August. The theme is Socks on Rocks so dig out your loudest pair of socks for a camping weekend at Kwolyin campsite, near Bruce Rock. More details later.
The location for next week’s run is Railway Square, cnr Foundry Road and Main Gate, Midland. Crusher is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2124 – 16 July 2023
Hare: Passiona
Location: Stevens St, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Thirty plus four dogs
The Run
A good turnout for a cold day but we had a fire to cluster around and a birthday to celebrate. To spare Passiona from brooding too much over being yet another year older, Leapfrog usurped his celebration by using the occasion to fund raise for one of her pet charities. So we had a raffle and a collection and a presentation in the circle but more of that later. The hare was kind to the walkers – a shortish trail, mostly on quiet roads and a 6+km sprint for the runners before heading back to base for a generous supply of homemade sausage rolls.
The Circle
We stood around the fire waiting for Wacuda. That is a cut and paste statement from last week’s report. I think I’ve got his measure. It’s a cunning ploy to avoid stand-in Monk duties in the absence of the real Monk. Smart thinking Wacuda.
Leapfrog revealed the contents of her Days for Girls bags – a very worthy cause but I won’t go into details about the contents. They are destined for young women in PNG and the Middle East.
Franger judged the run to be a good one, very hilly and he had trouble keeping up with SNB. Light my Fire reported that she completed the walk in 35 minutes. Then Wacuda appeared and said he’d run out of dots. Leapfrog presented Wacuda with the last of the Cocos/Keeling Islands hash T shirts which he said he will try to shrink into.
Great excitement as Leapfrog announced it was time for the raffle draw. Pink Bits with number 18 was the first winner. Someone in the back stalls muttered that PB always wins but then, she did buy a heap of tickets. Snake Charmer with number 4 was pleased with his snazzy torch. The next lucky number was Flying Nun’s 21, followed by Slippery’s number 9. PB was too embarrassed to claim yet another prize so called for a re-draw. Snake Charmer cunningly called number 3, having checked that that was his dad’s number. We should expect an enquiry from the ICAC any day now.
Charges
LTNS – several and some returned from exotic places.
Red Light
Fire Extinguisher who was sporting highly unsuitable hashing shoes which she probably picked up from her holiday in France.
Little Weed who said, “I’ve been everywhere man” but didn’t elaborate, and
Flying Nun just returned climbing mountains in Italy.
White Pointer was charged for only turning up when there’s food in the offing.
Somebody remembered it was Passiona’s birthday so we serenaded him in the usual way.
A choice of soups with Leapfrog’s homemade bread followed. I gather there was also cake and a slide show but we had to pick up a child so missed the entertainment.
General Business
The location for next week’s run is Cole Road, Sawyers Valley. Downhill is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2123 – 9 July 2023
Hare: Skippy
Location: Berry Reserve, Gidgegannup
Head Count: Twenty three plus two dogs
The Run
Who knew this place existed? None of us new chums (as in having joined HHH in the last 10 years) had been there before and what a treat we were missing. For example, we could light a fire and there were even toilets at the run site – so civilised! A bit of a late start owing to the fact that a few people hadn’t allowed enough time to drive half way to Geraldton but eventually we got going. Skippy promised the runners a very hilly trail with a HH (Hash Halt) on one of the steepest hills in order to pick up a walking stick. Meanwhile the walkers had a leisurely stroll to the waterfall and back and thanks to the recent rains, the waterfall was a raging torrent. The runners had a drink stop and the walkers were rewarded with a nip of Bayleys back at base.
The Circle
We stood around the fire waiting for Wacuda. Had anyone seen him? No. Did he do the run or the walk? Don’t know. Eventually he rocked up, having set out to do the walk and ending up on the runners’ trail. A communal sigh of relief followed and then the circle kicked off. Feedback about the run from Patpom was very positive and Rebecca was quizzed about the walk then welcomed as a born again virgin.
Charges – there’s a strong stick theme emerging here
LTNS - Snakebite
Wacuda for his late return
Stand in Monk, Wacuda charged Skippy for setting a fantastic run but not providing enough sticks.
Dripper charged Big Boy for not needing a stick
Skippy then charged SNB for not stopping at the Hash Halt sign in order to wait for the rest of the pack to arrive and for not picking up a stick. See what I mean about sticks? Let’s move on.
GPS charged Dog Whistler for inappropriate behaviour. No sex in the circle please.
Downhill was charged for making inappropriate suggestions concerning the slide show Leapfrog is
planning to show us next week.
General Business
Next week’s run will be a bonfire bonanza at Leapfrog and Passiona’s house at Stevens St, Sawyers Valley. Please make sure you wear a beanie, bring a bowl or mug and spoon for soup and some cash for a raffle. Proceeds will go to charity. And don’t forget we will have a movie, with or without Downhill’s approval.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Mahogany Creek Hall, Jacoby Rd, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty two plus four dogs. Welcome back Ferret
The Run
Perfect weather for a walk in the woods with a well-marked course on winding bush tracks for the first half then the return journey along the railway line trail. The runners reported 7 – 8 kms with Dosh commenting that there were checks every 200m. It seems the hare got a bit carried away, but hey, you can never have too many checks.
The Circle
GPS was absent without submitting a note so the ever-versatile Skippy filled in as GM. He awarded the hare a DD for setting an excellent trail and commented on his odd matching shoes. Pole Dancer and Belt Up were rewarded for blazing their own trail.
Other Charges
More odd behaviour from our Monk who has either been defrocked or has defrocked herself. She attempted to draw attention away from her lack of monkly habit by charging Skippy and Spot On with racing but it rebounded when Passiona charged her for racing. Dosh then countered by charging Passiona for being a neglectful husband and not staying home to look after Leapfrog.
Skippy charged Pink Bits for trying to offload her rubbish on anyone foolish enough to take it.
Rubber Duckie was charged for being Ed the Confessor, not sure why. I missed that bit.
Belt Up was charged again because it’s always the man’s fault.
LTNS – Tessa, Topless and Hot Rod
Downhill almost got charged for using his phone but we’d run out of drinks.
General Business
Next week’s run will be at 13 Broadway Rd, Bickley. Fire Extinguisher is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2126 – 30 July 2023
Hare: Crusher
Location: Railway Square, Midland
Head Count: Twenty three plus five dogs
The Run
The hare had thoughtfully found us a sheltered spot for the assembly point which we didn’t need after all because there was no rain. It was a fairly flat, fast course, taking in the old workshops, the coal dam, a creek and the scenic attractions of Hazelmere – 4 kms for the walkers 6+ for the runners. Points scored for the location and excellent marking, points lost for the lack of drink stop. You can’t win them all.
The Circle
GPS welcomed Scarlett Runner Bean from Tasmania who was last seen at the Hills Hash in 2018.Too long he said, come back sooner next time. He asked for feedback. Scarlett RB said she enjoyed the walk, especially the big W’s. Dosh commented on the run – well set but no drink stop. Dripper showed his age by suggesting Crusher must have used a T square to set such precision arrows. Whoever knows what a T-square is nowadays, even Google is turning cartwheels warning me I’m using non-standard language?
Our Monk had returned from doing whatever monks so when they’re AWOL from hash. Best not to ask! She charged Skippy for avoiding a puddle for fear of getting his shoes wet. Passiona was charged for offering Dosh a private viewing of the hash movie she missed at his birthday run.
Other Charges
Pink Bits charged GPS and Zip-It for short cutting.
El Keeno has a carry over charge for leaving early.
GPS owned up to having new shoes and christened them in the usual hash fashion.
GPS charged Crusher for being a grumpy old man.
Dosh delivered a final warning to Pick Up Chick over her reluctance to wear hash gear. Ice next week if she rocks up in civvies.
The final charge went to Leapfrog and Dripper for omitting the change in the cost of cider when re-writing the price list for drinks.
General Business
Leapfrog will provide information about the Hash Away weekend (25-27Augustl) two weeks before. She said it’s pointless providing it earlier because people will lose it. That’s what I call a vote of confidence.
Next week’s run will be at the Mahogany Creek Hall, 3060 Strettle Rd, Mahogany Creek. El Keeno is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2125 – 23 July 2023
Hare: Downhill
Location: Cole Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty one plus two dogs
The Run
A rather bumpy drive in to the run site, someone had thoughtfully dug deep holes in the gravel road in a sinister attempt to wreck the undercarriage of our vehicles. Undaunted, we assembled under the power lines with runners and walkers heading off in opposite directions, leaving Crusher to tend the fire. We walkers did a 4km ramble in a vaguely square shape while the three or four runners travelled 6+ kms on hilly bush trails.
The Circle
GPS had trouble getting the pack to form a circle since a few latecomers (who shall be nameless but you know who you are), couldn’t be enticed away from Light My Fire’s excellent spring rolls. Eventually a sort of circle formed and the GM kicked off the proceedings by saying he liked the walk. He then called on El Keeno to comment on the run – a difficult task when you’ve got a mouthful of spring roll. EK said it was a good run, despite there being no drink stop which prompted Pink Bits to question when he last provided a drink stop. Too long ago, he couldn’t remember.
GPS then had a special announcement to make – we had a VIRGIN in the pack. This led to frantic glances all round. How could we have missed such a rare specimen. He then finished the sentence. It was a VIRGIN MONK. Given that Dosh is still AWOL and Wacuda was noticeably absent, Zip-It stepped up to the podium and took on the duties or RA. Brava Zip-It!
Charges
El Keeno for flashing flesh in his skimpy shorts
Dog Whisperer and Rebecca for short cutting and holding hands. Several of us saw GPS and Zip-It short cutting also but they pleaded diplomatic immunity on account of their elevated status.
Pink Bits suggested Miss Whiplash should take a DD for her 2yo granddaughter who was wearing new shoes.
Scooby Doo for arriving late.
Leapfrog reminded us that Flying Nun was heading off to do a 17 day walk on the Larapinta Trail and was duly awarded a DD.
General Business
Leapfrog gave us some advance notice about the hash away weekend from Friday 27 – Sunday 27 August. The theme is Socks on Rocks so dig out your loudest pair of socks for a camping weekend at Kwolyin campsite, near Bruce Rock. More details later.
The location for next week’s run is Railway Square, cnr Foundry Road and Main Gate, Midland. Crusher is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2124 – 16 July 2023
Hare: Passiona
Location: Stevens St, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Thirty plus four dogs
The Run
A good turnout for a cold day but we had a fire to cluster around and a birthday to celebrate. To spare Passiona from brooding too much over being yet another year older, Leapfrog usurped his celebration by using the occasion to fund raise for one of her pet charities. So we had a raffle and a collection and a presentation in the circle but more of that later. The hare was kind to the walkers – a shortish trail, mostly on quiet roads and a 6+km sprint for the runners before heading back to base for a generous supply of homemade sausage rolls.
The Circle
We stood around the fire waiting for Wacuda. That is a cut and paste statement from last week’s report. I think I’ve got his measure. It’s a cunning ploy to avoid stand-in Monk duties in the absence of the real Monk. Smart thinking Wacuda.
Leapfrog revealed the contents of her Days for Girls bags – a very worthy cause but I won’t go into details about the contents. They are destined for young women in PNG and the Middle East.
Franger judged the run to be a good one, very hilly and he had trouble keeping up with SNB. Light my Fire reported that she completed the walk in 35 minutes. Then Wacuda appeared and said he’d run out of dots. Leapfrog presented Wacuda with the last of the Cocos/Keeling Islands hash T shirts which he said he will try to shrink into.
Great excitement as Leapfrog announced it was time for the raffle draw. Pink Bits with number 18 was the first winner. Someone in the back stalls muttered that PB always wins but then, she did buy a heap of tickets. Snake Charmer with number 4 was pleased with his snazzy torch. The next lucky number was Flying Nun’s 21, followed by Slippery’s number 9. PB was too embarrassed to claim yet another prize so called for a re-draw. Snake Charmer cunningly called number 3, having checked that that was his dad’s number. We should expect an enquiry from the ICAC any day now.
Charges
LTNS – several and some returned from exotic places.
Red Light
Fire Extinguisher who was sporting highly unsuitable hashing shoes which she probably picked up from her holiday in France.
Little Weed who said, “I’ve been everywhere man” but didn’t elaborate, and
Flying Nun just returned climbing mountains in Italy.
White Pointer was charged for only turning up when there’s food in the offing.
Somebody remembered it was Passiona’s birthday so we serenaded him in the usual way.
A choice of soups with Leapfrog’s homemade bread followed. I gather there was also cake and a slide show but we had to pick up a child so missed the entertainment.
General Business
The location for next week’s run is Cole Road, Sawyers Valley. Downhill is the hare.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2123 – 9 July 2023
Hare: Skippy
Location: Berry Reserve, Gidgegannup
Head Count: Twenty three plus two dogs
The Run
Who knew this place existed? None of us new chums (as in having joined HHH in the last 10 years) had been there before and what a treat we were missing. For example, we could light a fire and there were even toilets at the run site – so civilised! A bit of a late start owing to the fact that a few people hadn’t allowed enough time to drive half way to Geraldton but eventually we got going. Skippy promised the runners a very hilly trail with a HH (Hash Halt) on one of the steepest hills in order to pick up a walking stick. Meanwhile the walkers had a leisurely stroll to the waterfall and back and thanks to the recent rains, the waterfall was a raging torrent. The runners had a drink stop and the walkers were rewarded with a nip of Bayleys back at base.
The Circle
We stood around the fire waiting for Wacuda. Had anyone seen him? No. Did he do the run or the walk? Don’t know. Eventually he rocked up, having set out to do the walk and ending up on the runners’ trail. A communal sigh of relief followed and then the circle kicked off. Feedback about the run from Patpom was very positive and Rebecca was quizzed about the walk then welcomed as a born again virgin.
Charges – there’s a strong stick theme emerging here
LTNS - Snakebite
Wacuda for his late return
Stand in Monk, Wacuda charged Skippy for setting a fantastic run but not providing enough sticks.
Dripper charged Big Boy for not needing a stick
Skippy then charged SNB for not stopping at the Hash Halt sign in order to wait for the rest of the pack to arrive and for not picking up a stick. See what I mean about sticks? Let’s move on.
GPS charged Dog Whistler for inappropriate behaviour. No sex in the circle please.
Downhill was charged for making inappropriate suggestions concerning the slide show Leapfrog is
planning to show us next week.
General Business
Next week’s run will be a bonfire bonanza at Leapfrog and Passiona’s house at Stevens St, Sawyers Valley. Please make sure you wear a beanie, bring a bowl or mug and spoon for soup and some cash for a raffle. Proceeds will go to charity. And don’t forget we will have a movie, with or without Downhill’s approval.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run # 2122
Perfect weather greeted the pack as we gathered at the river, near the kayak club, in Garvey Park. The Hare, Mental Disorder, was called in by the Vice GM, (GPS is still tied up - should we start crowdfunding to set him free ?) and quickly gave out the run instructions. It was to be fairly flat with a warning of false trails for walkers (this is unheard of ....) Maybe a hint of a long run for runners ?
We set off on a trail of arrows (?) for a change, with some veer off W's for walkers. It was a very pleasant ramble and those at the tail end of the walkers pack lived in hope of the false trails making them the front runners. No such luck really as the well marked trail wound around the river and very pleasant suburbia leading back to the start. After a head count, all present and correct, the circle was called.
The Hare was praised for a great run with not too many pack charges for short cutting etc.
Of note was the fact that Franger reluctantly claimed the rotten stinking towel from last week ('it's not mine') - It had been washed so possibly he now has a clean towel ??? Crusher was charged by Pink Bits for not posting the run report on FB - he denied all knowledge of it ... come back Rock Bottom !
Then the feasting began with Dosh's birthday being celebrated. There was a cheese platter and cake - great way to end the run ... We sang the song (to bemused looks from the kayakers packing up their gear) and headed off as the sun was setting and the chill factor was rising off the river.
Great run Mental - thanks !
On On
Pink Bits
Run # 2121 25 June
This was a run made for Leapfrog and she was absent without a note ! A plethora of porta-loos greeted the pack in the car park. (possibly more than actual Hashers) Confusing and somewhat disconcerting ..... however, all available and therefore sampled !
Due to GPS being tied up (!) Vice GM Skippy bought the pack together and moved swiftly to end the shitty jokes (ha ha) inviting the Hare, Dripper, to tell us where to go .... It all started very strangely with the fact that we may encounter Cliff Richard on the trail (excitement plus ) however, it transpired that it was not the person, more just cliff edges that may cause some serious damage if not noticed. A WARNING IN OTHER WORDS.
He then very casually remarked that it was a short run and walk with some possible water crossings and uphills. We all set off together, soon to encounter a significantly rocky trail leading upwards. A few walkers suddenly had urgent issues with shoes/ankles/nerves so made a swift retreat ....
Despite this most walkers soldiered on, slipping and sliding on the return. The runners had some extra fun with the trail leading all over the place (but well marked) and the horn could be heard left and right !? There was a bit of water to cross but not anything that the hardy Hashers couldn't manage ....
Back at the ranch, once all were accounted for .... the Vice GM called us to order. Dripper was complimented on his fine run and the effort he put in on such a cold but sunny day ! DD for him. A visitor, Rambling Rod, was also invited for a DD as we haven't seen him for ages (he lives in IKEA Land)
Then on to the RA (decked out in her gold puffy .... ?) who immediately charged the unlucky visitor with the Lame Duck award. He was having fun ...
but had a bloody leg ... There were a few latecomers who also had a DD and in the absence of Rock Bottom, Snake Charmer was charged for HER (although technically it was HIS) lost property. Finally, in keeping with the toilet humour, a disgusting towel, full of stains, purported to be the lost property of Franger, was displayed for all to see - he was not present - we can wait ! ! ! The bacteria life on the towel was fit for a forensic study ! !
As it was mighty cold, we urged the stand-in GM to hurry up and get on with things. We sang the song and escaped to warmer places to eat curries !
On On
Pink Bits xxx (Temporary On Sec of the extraordinary kind)
This was a run made for Leapfrog and she was absent without a note ! A plethora of porta-loos greeted the pack in the car park. (possibly more than actual Hashers) Confusing and somewhat disconcerting ..... however, all available and therefore sampled !
Due to GPS being tied up (!) Vice GM Skippy bought the pack together and moved swiftly to end the shitty jokes (ha ha) inviting the Hare, Dripper, to tell us where to go .... It all started very strangely with the fact that we may encounter Cliff Richard on the trail (excitement plus ) however, it transpired that it was not the person, more just cliff edges that may cause some serious damage if not noticed. A WARNING IN OTHER WORDS.
He then very casually remarked that it was a short run and walk with some possible water crossings and uphills. We all set off together, soon to encounter a significantly rocky trail leading upwards. A few walkers suddenly had urgent issues with shoes/ankles/nerves so made a swift retreat ....
Despite this most walkers soldiered on, slipping and sliding on the return. The runners had some extra fun with the trail leading all over the place (but well marked) and the horn could be heard left and right !? There was a bit of water to cross but not anything that the hardy Hashers couldn't manage ....
Back at the ranch, once all were accounted for .... the Vice GM called us to order. Dripper was complimented on his fine run and the effort he put in on such a cold but sunny day ! DD for him. A visitor, Rambling Rod, was also invited for a DD as we haven't seen him for ages (he lives in IKEA Land)
Then on to the RA (decked out in her gold puffy .... ?) who immediately charged the unlucky visitor with the Lame Duck award. He was having fun ...
but had a bloody leg ... There were a few latecomers who also had a DD and in the absence of Rock Bottom, Snake Charmer was charged for HER (although technically it was HIS) lost property. Finally, in keeping with the toilet humour, a disgusting towel, full of stains, purported to be the lost property of Franger, was displayed for all to see - he was not present - we can wait ! ! ! The bacteria life on the towel was fit for a forensic study ! !
As it was mighty cold, we urged the stand-in GM to hurry up and get on with things. We sang the song and escaped to warmer places to eat curries !
On On
Pink Bits xxx (Temporary On Sec of the extraordinary kind)
Run: 2120 – 18 June 2023
Hares: Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire
Location: Woodbridge Riverside Park, Woodbridge
Head Count: Thirty plus four dogs
The Run
Was it the location, the fine weather, Sheep Shunter’s reputation as a skilled hare or Light My Fire’s culinary skills that resulted in 30 hashers rocking up to Woodbridge last Sunday? Possibly all of the above although I suspect Light My Fire’s food was a major attraction and indeed, we were well rewarded with a delicious thick soup of rice, vegetables and pork balls. But I digress, back to the trail. A flat, fast course taking in the attractions of Woodbridge and Midland including the railway line and Gt Eastern Highway (!) but also schools, parks and the river, with a port and lemonade drink stop to fortify the troops.
The Circle
As we all know, our GM is a man of taste and refinement, so when he summoned us all to “Get off your arse and form a circle unless you’re over 80” this was entirely in character.
Deliverance reported that it was a lovely scenic walk with strange farrows. She doesn’t come very often so we must make allowances. Franger made the point (at least a dozen times) that he was the only one to complete the 8km run trail and that everyone else must have short cut. The fact that El Keeno came in from the same direction hot on Franger’s heels and that EK is a seasoned short cutter, casts some doubt on his claim.
Achievements
Mental was congratulated for completing 50 runs, Wacuda 250 and El Keeno 450 which prompted Leapfrog to produce a cake which was promptly distributed even though EK suggested he might take it home. Suggestion overruled.
Charges
The Monk charged Spot On for racing and Dripper for encouraging her by trying to keep pace. It got a bit more complicated with Spot On asking why everyone was following El Keeno when he always cuts short.
Franger was charged with exhibitionism.
Pick Up Chick tried to avoid a charge for being late and not wearing hash gear by spinning a story about helping a homeless teenager but no one was buying it.
Belt Up took a drink on behalf of Pole Dancer who is recovering from surgery. Leapfrog produced a bunch of flowers for Pole Dancer.
General Business
Next week’s run is at Helena Valley Primary School. Dripper is the hare. I will be away for the next two weeks so Crusher and Pink Bits will deputise. And then we all got stuck into Light My Fire’s soup.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2119 – 11 June 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Wedgetail Circle, Parkerville
Head Count: Twenty three with no dogs because the hash was set in a national park.
The Run
A dilemma: How to compile a true and accurate account of a hash which I didn’t do? Should this be an exercise in creative writing or should it be based on feedback from those who did the run or the walk? Not much feedback was forthcoming apart from comments about it being very hilly with Morphine suggesting he needed a defibrillator or an oxygen mask to tackle the hills. Having been shamefully let down by all three men in my house, I got hopelessly lost trying to find the location and arrived too late to do the walk. I gather a few others had trouble as well so maybe I’ll abandon all attempts to report on the hash and move on to the circle.
The Circle
El Keeno was rewarded with a drink after which Rubber Duckie was summoned into the circle for having completed 25 runs.
Leapfrog had dug into the archives and produced photographic evidence of Miss Whiplash and Lurch’s hashing history. Miss Whiplash had done 97 hashes, upgraded to 100 and Lurch had completed 38, upgraded to 41 – a commendable effort even it did take half a lifetime.
Charges
Over to the Monk who called Tessa, a first-time hasher into the circle.
Pink Bits was accused of getting distracted by a frog and thereby returning to base after the circle had started. She vehemently defended her love of frogs.
Morphine charged Dosh for saying, “I never sweat” at which point Pink Bits reminded us that a certain prince also claims not to sweat. The charge was reversed.
Scooby Doo scored a drink for being a LTNS
General Business
Belt Up informed us that Pole Dancer is having surgery and won’t be at the hash for some weeks. We hope all goes well and wish her a speedy recovery.
Leapfrog floated the idea of this year’s weekend away being a camping experience (bring your own tent) at a campsite near Bruce Rock at the end of August. Pink Bits was horrified, asked where the nearest five star hotel is. More details later.
Next week’s run is at Woodbridge Riverside Park. Sheep Shunter will set the run and Light My Fire will provide the hash nosh. Please bring your own eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2118 – 4 June 2023
Hare: Wacuda
Location: Cnr Longfellow and Byron Roads, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty five plus three dogs
The Run
Despite the weather warning, 23 stalwarts fronted up for the start of the run with two arriving sometime later. The hare took a punt that the rain would hold off and set longish and very hilly trails for both runners and walkers, the highlight of which was the drink stop offering beer, champagne and gin and tonics to reward our efforts. By the time we returned to base the dire predictions of the weatherman were proving sound and the circle was mostly conducted under umbrellas.
The Circle
Thanks to the rain it was a very short circle. After soliciting positive feedback from both runners and walkers about the trail and the drink stop, GPS summoned Wacuda into the circle for a DD. He then announced the sad news that Pole Dancer and Belt Up’s Beagle Hoover, veteran of many a hash, had died. RIP Hoover. Before handing over to Dosh, he called her into the circle to celebrate her 400th run and to show off a fetching pair of black trousers complete with Hash logo.
Charges
The Monk charged Skippy with emulating the bad habits of his father and shamelessly short cutting.
Sheep Shunter was awarded a drink for surviving pneumonia and the ICU in Thailand and returning to stomach yet another dose of splash.
Miss Whiplash and Lurch were charged for their late arrival which prompted GPS to reveal that his first ever Hills Hash was hosted by Lurch and since then he calculates he’s notched up over 7,000kms. Just the sort of reminiscence you need when it’s dark and pissing down with rain!
General Business
El Keeno is next week’s hare. The location is Wedgetail Circle, Parkerville. It’s in a national park so no dogs allowed. Please leave your dogs at home.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2117 – 28 May 2023
Hares: Dripper and Pink Bits
Location: Helen St, Bellevue
Head Count: Twenty seven plus five dogs
The Run
A characteristic Dripper introduction: “Well, it’s mostly flat with a few hills but the hilly bits are a little bit flat and the flat bits are a little bit hilly and the onon is that way”. Pink Bits thankfully, was a little more informative in her introduction telling us the last section was on the same trail as the first bit so to follow M’s or upside down W’s and yes, there was a drink stop which Dripper forgot to mention. So off we ambled along a heritage trail and who knew there was such a trail in Bellevue? Apart from a few bits on footpaths, it was mostly flat and either on grass or a gravel path. And there was indeed a drink stop with beer and green ginger wine – very suitable for a winter’s afternoon.
The Circle
GPS dispensed drinks to the hares then called the LTNS, Miss Whiplash and Lurch into the circle. Lurch did his first run with the Hills Hash in 1998 and has rarely been seen since.
Charges
The Monk awarded a DD to Mental for his heroic behaviour at last Friday’s Hash. It’s very useful having an ex-bouncer at the ready when there’s a potential brawl.
Zippy initially received an accolade for providing vast quantities of wraps then it was changed to a charge when she admitted they were leftovers from the Hariettes.
Dripper complained that Skippy broke too many checks and wasn’t listening to his commentary on the run.
It was pick on Madonna day. Mental charged him for leading the pack astray, something to do with waiting at the drink stop. Then Leapfrog, who was living up to her name by leaping around distributing avocadoes, noted that he had recorded only 210 runs in the book when he has in fact done 710. Perhaps he’s trying to trim a few years off his life.
Train Wreck received an avocado for running across the train track and Free Beer got one for arriving late and losing her child’s shoes.
Why don’t we just dispense with splash altogether and distribute avocadoes instead?
General Business
Dosh and Wacuda are setting next week’s run. Location is cnr of Byron and Longfellow Roads, Kalamunda near Kalamunda hospital
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run # 2116 21st May
Hare: Skippy
It was with a bit of trepidation that we amassed at South Ledge Mundaring to partake of Skippy's next run. If anything to go on, last week's run was somewhat trying ! GPS gathered the pack and Skippy gave some run instructions .... mostly we heard the words big hills, long & bush bashing ! There was a drink stop promised and the pack started off together on lime with walkers finding w's along the way. For some of us there was a supposed short walk - what the Hare omitted to state was that there was a significant vertical hill to navigate .... seriously challenging The long walk had numerous hills and valleys of equal levels of difficulty. Runners were up and down and the horn could be heard left, right and centre ! In other words EVERYWHERE ! Eventually, the majority of the pack arrived at the drink stop and, to be honest, there was a bit of grumbling from all .... but the views were great !
Then it was only a short hop skip and jump to the start (as if .... )
Once we composed ourselves, GM called the circle and charges flew thick and fast to the Hare for putting us all through this tortuous journey. The RA had some more charges for the Hare as well as, sadly, 3 bleeders in the pack. As we only had one Lame Duck hat, the winner was Dripper, who took the down-down on behalf of the others. One accolade was bestowed on Pole Dancer, who had completed the course, albeit on hands and knees (commando style) at the vertical hill.
All in all, Skippy had done an amazing job of researching both week's trails and the scenery was truly amazing. He gave us all a good double dose workout ....
We had a lovely huddle around a small fire but eventually the light faded so we sang the song and took off .... Till next week -
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Hares: Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire
Location: Woodbridge Riverside Park, Woodbridge
Head Count: Thirty plus four dogs
The Run
Was it the location, the fine weather, Sheep Shunter’s reputation as a skilled hare or Light My Fire’s culinary skills that resulted in 30 hashers rocking up to Woodbridge last Sunday? Possibly all of the above although I suspect Light My Fire’s food was a major attraction and indeed, we were well rewarded with a delicious thick soup of rice, vegetables and pork balls. But I digress, back to the trail. A flat, fast course taking in the attractions of Woodbridge and Midland including the railway line and Gt Eastern Highway (!) but also schools, parks and the river, with a port and lemonade drink stop to fortify the troops.
The Circle
As we all know, our GM is a man of taste and refinement, so when he summoned us all to “Get off your arse and form a circle unless you’re over 80” this was entirely in character.
Deliverance reported that it was a lovely scenic walk with strange farrows. She doesn’t come very often so we must make allowances. Franger made the point (at least a dozen times) that he was the only one to complete the 8km run trail and that everyone else must have short cut. The fact that El Keeno came in from the same direction hot on Franger’s heels and that EK is a seasoned short cutter, casts some doubt on his claim.
Achievements
Mental was congratulated for completing 50 runs, Wacuda 250 and El Keeno 450 which prompted Leapfrog to produce a cake which was promptly distributed even though EK suggested he might take it home. Suggestion overruled.
Charges
The Monk charged Spot On for racing and Dripper for encouraging her by trying to keep pace. It got a bit more complicated with Spot On asking why everyone was following El Keeno when he always cuts short.
Franger was charged with exhibitionism.
Pick Up Chick tried to avoid a charge for being late and not wearing hash gear by spinning a story about helping a homeless teenager but no one was buying it.
Belt Up took a drink on behalf of Pole Dancer who is recovering from surgery. Leapfrog produced a bunch of flowers for Pole Dancer.
General Business
Next week’s run is at Helena Valley Primary School. Dripper is the hare. I will be away for the next two weeks so Crusher and Pink Bits will deputise. And then we all got stuck into Light My Fire’s soup.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2119 – 11 June 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Wedgetail Circle, Parkerville
Head Count: Twenty three with no dogs because the hash was set in a national park.
The Run
A dilemma: How to compile a true and accurate account of a hash which I didn’t do? Should this be an exercise in creative writing or should it be based on feedback from those who did the run or the walk? Not much feedback was forthcoming apart from comments about it being very hilly with Morphine suggesting he needed a defibrillator or an oxygen mask to tackle the hills. Having been shamefully let down by all three men in my house, I got hopelessly lost trying to find the location and arrived too late to do the walk. I gather a few others had trouble as well so maybe I’ll abandon all attempts to report on the hash and move on to the circle.
The Circle
El Keeno was rewarded with a drink after which Rubber Duckie was summoned into the circle for having completed 25 runs.
Leapfrog had dug into the archives and produced photographic evidence of Miss Whiplash and Lurch’s hashing history. Miss Whiplash had done 97 hashes, upgraded to 100 and Lurch had completed 38, upgraded to 41 – a commendable effort even it did take half a lifetime.
Charges
Over to the Monk who called Tessa, a first-time hasher into the circle.
Pink Bits was accused of getting distracted by a frog and thereby returning to base after the circle had started. She vehemently defended her love of frogs.
Morphine charged Dosh for saying, “I never sweat” at which point Pink Bits reminded us that a certain prince also claims not to sweat. The charge was reversed.
Scooby Doo scored a drink for being a LTNS
General Business
Belt Up informed us that Pole Dancer is having surgery and won’t be at the hash for some weeks. We hope all goes well and wish her a speedy recovery.
Leapfrog floated the idea of this year’s weekend away being a camping experience (bring your own tent) at a campsite near Bruce Rock at the end of August. Pink Bits was horrified, asked where the nearest five star hotel is. More details later.
Next week’s run is at Woodbridge Riverside Park. Sheep Shunter will set the run and Light My Fire will provide the hash nosh. Please bring your own eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2118 – 4 June 2023
Hare: Wacuda
Location: Cnr Longfellow and Byron Roads, Kalamunda
Head Count: Twenty five plus three dogs
The Run
Despite the weather warning, 23 stalwarts fronted up for the start of the run with two arriving sometime later. The hare took a punt that the rain would hold off and set longish and very hilly trails for both runners and walkers, the highlight of which was the drink stop offering beer, champagne and gin and tonics to reward our efforts. By the time we returned to base the dire predictions of the weatherman were proving sound and the circle was mostly conducted under umbrellas.
The Circle
Thanks to the rain it was a very short circle. After soliciting positive feedback from both runners and walkers about the trail and the drink stop, GPS summoned Wacuda into the circle for a DD. He then announced the sad news that Pole Dancer and Belt Up’s Beagle Hoover, veteran of many a hash, had died. RIP Hoover. Before handing over to Dosh, he called her into the circle to celebrate her 400th run and to show off a fetching pair of black trousers complete with Hash logo.
Charges
The Monk charged Skippy with emulating the bad habits of his father and shamelessly short cutting.
Sheep Shunter was awarded a drink for surviving pneumonia and the ICU in Thailand and returning to stomach yet another dose of splash.
Miss Whiplash and Lurch were charged for their late arrival which prompted GPS to reveal that his first ever Hills Hash was hosted by Lurch and since then he calculates he’s notched up over 7,000kms. Just the sort of reminiscence you need when it’s dark and pissing down with rain!
General Business
El Keeno is next week’s hare. The location is Wedgetail Circle, Parkerville. It’s in a national park so no dogs allowed. Please leave your dogs at home.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2117 – 28 May 2023
Hares: Dripper and Pink Bits
Location: Helen St, Bellevue
Head Count: Twenty seven plus five dogs
The Run
A characteristic Dripper introduction: “Well, it’s mostly flat with a few hills but the hilly bits are a little bit flat and the flat bits are a little bit hilly and the onon is that way”. Pink Bits thankfully, was a little more informative in her introduction telling us the last section was on the same trail as the first bit so to follow M’s or upside down W’s and yes, there was a drink stop which Dripper forgot to mention. So off we ambled along a heritage trail and who knew there was such a trail in Bellevue? Apart from a few bits on footpaths, it was mostly flat and either on grass or a gravel path. And there was indeed a drink stop with beer and green ginger wine – very suitable for a winter’s afternoon.
The Circle
GPS dispensed drinks to the hares then called the LTNS, Miss Whiplash and Lurch into the circle. Lurch did his first run with the Hills Hash in 1998 and has rarely been seen since.
Charges
The Monk awarded a DD to Mental for his heroic behaviour at last Friday’s Hash. It’s very useful having an ex-bouncer at the ready when there’s a potential brawl.
Zippy initially received an accolade for providing vast quantities of wraps then it was changed to a charge when she admitted they were leftovers from the Hariettes.
Dripper complained that Skippy broke too many checks and wasn’t listening to his commentary on the run.
It was pick on Madonna day. Mental charged him for leading the pack astray, something to do with waiting at the drink stop. Then Leapfrog, who was living up to her name by leaping around distributing avocadoes, noted that he had recorded only 210 runs in the book when he has in fact done 710. Perhaps he’s trying to trim a few years off his life.
Train Wreck received an avocado for running across the train track and Free Beer got one for arriving late and losing her child’s shoes.
Why don’t we just dispense with splash altogether and distribute avocadoes instead?
General Business
Dosh and Wacuda are setting next week’s run. Location is cnr of Byron and Longfellow Roads, Kalamunda near Kalamunda hospital
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run # 2116 21st May
Hare: Skippy
It was with a bit of trepidation that we amassed at South Ledge Mundaring to partake of Skippy's next run. If anything to go on, last week's run was somewhat trying ! GPS gathered the pack and Skippy gave some run instructions .... mostly we heard the words big hills, long & bush bashing ! There was a drink stop promised and the pack started off together on lime with walkers finding w's along the way. For some of us there was a supposed short walk - what the Hare omitted to state was that there was a significant vertical hill to navigate .... seriously challenging The long walk had numerous hills and valleys of equal levels of difficulty. Runners were up and down and the horn could be heard left, right and centre ! In other words EVERYWHERE ! Eventually, the majority of the pack arrived at the drink stop and, to be honest, there was a bit of grumbling from all .... but the views were great !
Then it was only a short hop skip and jump to the start (as if .... )
Once we composed ourselves, GM called the circle and charges flew thick and fast to the Hare for putting us all through this tortuous journey. The RA had some more charges for the Hare as well as, sadly, 3 bleeders in the pack. As we only had one Lame Duck hat, the winner was Dripper, who took the down-down on behalf of the others. One accolade was bestowed on Pole Dancer, who had completed the course, albeit on hands and knees (commando style) at the vertical hill.
All in all, Skippy had done an amazing job of researching both week's trails and the scenery was truly amazing. He gave us all a good double dose workout ....
We had a lovely huddle around a small fire but eventually the light faded so we sang the song and took off .... Till next week -
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run: 2115 - 14 May 2023
Hare: Skippy
It was a very secluded meeting this week at North Ledge. A very good turnout had Hashers arriving from many directions (depending if you wanted the scenic route or short cut !) The GM returned to us this week, so in usual style he called the circle (numerous times - still has the mojo-not !) and had the Hare explain the trail. There was some confusion about how long/up down/long short/drink stop directions but knowing Skippy, there would be a well marked trail ... (lime in case of rain)
Runners and walkers were on the same trail for lot of the time except for the diversions (thank goodness) that made the walk somewhat shorter than the run.
The setting was simply stunning with the most picturesque views but, of course where there was a down, there was also an up (Skippy what is it with you ? Oh yeah .. trying for *Run of The Year*) Much of both walkers and runners' trails were undulating (a lot) so everyone got a thorough workout ... A drink stop was provided about 1.5 km from the end (of the torture) but continuous moving was better than standing still too long !
Back at the start, we were to have a meal, kindly provided by DOSH to celebrate Mother's Day 🌹 Thank you xxx
We decided to eat first as the run had been long and the light was fading (and the goblins were going to come out soon !) After we had full bellies, the GM called the circle and first to be charged was Skippy for all sorts of reasons but generally his run was deemed very good (grumble, grumble)
Then the RA took over and dished out some charges to the 2 blow-ins from Balinna who nearly never made it, having searched for us all over the Hills ! Welcome and come again ! I forgot your names as you forgot to sign in ! ! !
There were some usual charges from the floor but outstanding was the charge from Franger on Little Weed .... for catching her in the act of ...... airing her nether regions ! (Or was she just communing with nature ?)
As the light was now fading, we sang the song (to scare off those goblins) and departed on those corrugated dirt tracks avoiding kangaroos !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Hare: Skippy
It was a very secluded meeting this week at North Ledge. A very good turnout had Hashers arriving from many directions (depending if you wanted the scenic route or short cut !) The GM returned to us this week, so in usual style he called the circle (numerous times - still has the mojo-not !) and had the Hare explain the trail. There was some confusion about how long/up down/long short/drink stop directions but knowing Skippy, there would be a well marked trail ... (lime in case of rain)
Runners and walkers were on the same trail for lot of the time except for the diversions (thank goodness) that made the walk somewhat shorter than the run.
The setting was simply stunning with the most picturesque views but, of course where there was a down, there was also an up (Skippy what is it with you ? Oh yeah .. trying for *Run of The Year*) Much of both walkers and runners' trails were undulating (a lot) so everyone got a thorough workout ... A drink stop was provided about 1.5 km from the end (of the torture) but continuous moving was better than standing still too long !
Back at the start, we were to have a meal, kindly provided by DOSH to celebrate Mother's Day 🌹 Thank you xxx
We decided to eat first as the run had been long and the light was fading (and the goblins were going to come out soon !) After we had full bellies, the GM called the circle and first to be charged was Skippy for all sorts of reasons but generally his run was deemed very good (grumble, grumble)
Then the RA took over and dished out some charges to the 2 blow-ins from Balinna who nearly never made it, having searched for us all over the Hills ! Welcome and come again ! I forgot your names as you forgot to sign in ! ! !
There were some usual charges from the floor but outstanding was the charge from Franger on Little Weed .... for catching her in the act of ...... airing her nether regions ! (Or was she just communing with nature ?)
As the light was now fading, we sang the song (to scare off those goblins) and departed on those corrugated dirt tracks avoiding kangaroos !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run: 2114 – 7 May 2023
Hare: Rubber Duckie
Location: Juniper Way Reserve, Forrestfield
Head Count: Twenty four plus four dogs
The Run
It was a hash of substitutes with Skippy acting as substitute GM, Mental as substitute RA and Rubber Duckie masquerading as not-so-brilliant hare when his talents clearly lay in the realm of the kitchen. This possibly explains why so many of us lost trail and more tragically, missed the drink stop. Various groups wandered or ran around in the wilderness of Forrestfield trying to find the trail, which was marked with white dots and yellow/green arrows until we lost sight of any markings at all and straggled home from all directions. However, all eventually returned home, the last being (surprise, surprise!) Wacuda. Another surprise was El Keeno who apparently shortcut.
The Circle
A few people, like El Keeno, Morphine and Sprinkler wisely skipped off straight after the run and therefore missed the circle. Stand in GM, Skippy eventually got us into a sort of circle and asked for feedback on the trail. Dripper, with tongue in cheek declared the run had too many hills, too many checks and at nearly 10 kms, wasn’t long enough. Leapfrog, on behalf of the walkers, somewhat ungraciously judged it the worst run of the year and accordingly knighted the hare with a rusty shovel head she’d picked up on the way but that was before she’d tasted the soup.
Charges
Stand in RA, Mental wasn’t going to miss his chance to be centre stage and kept us hanging about until nearly midnight with his long list of charges, including :
Skimpy for mistaking the drink stop
Pick up Chick – an accolade for picking up the foot on GE Highway several days after last week’s hash. Rubber Duckie had forgotten to collect it.
Pick Up Chick for arriving late as usual and making excuses, excuses…. However she did find lots of treasure once she eventually got going.
Little Weed for abandoning all her resolutions of sobriety at the drink stop and tippling away after declaring she wouldn’t have a drink.
Madonna – something to do with a barbed wire fence
Rubber Duckie suggested that the RA was slacking on the job with the weather because, owing to the rain, he’d had to set the course four times. You’d think with that much practice he’d get it right.
General Business
Skippy is next week’s hare which will kick off from North Ledge, off Mundaring Weir Road. Please leave your dogs at home.
And then we all got stuck into Rubber Duckie’s excellent choice of soups with crusty bread – perfect for a cold, latish night.
Thank you to all of those who helped search for my lost phone. No idea how I managed to lose it but I was very grateful to get it back.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Hare: Rubber Duckie
Location: Juniper Way Reserve, Forrestfield
Head Count: Twenty four plus four dogs
The Run
It was a hash of substitutes with Skippy acting as substitute GM, Mental as substitute RA and Rubber Duckie masquerading as not-so-brilliant hare when his talents clearly lay in the realm of the kitchen. This possibly explains why so many of us lost trail and more tragically, missed the drink stop. Various groups wandered or ran around in the wilderness of Forrestfield trying to find the trail, which was marked with white dots and yellow/green arrows until we lost sight of any markings at all and straggled home from all directions. However, all eventually returned home, the last being (surprise, surprise!) Wacuda. Another surprise was El Keeno who apparently shortcut.
The Circle
A few people, like El Keeno, Morphine and Sprinkler wisely skipped off straight after the run and therefore missed the circle. Stand in GM, Skippy eventually got us into a sort of circle and asked for feedback on the trail. Dripper, with tongue in cheek declared the run had too many hills, too many checks and at nearly 10 kms, wasn’t long enough. Leapfrog, on behalf of the walkers, somewhat ungraciously judged it the worst run of the year and accordingly knighted the hare with a rusty shovel head she’d picked up on the way but that was before she’d tasted the soup.
Charges
Stand in RA, Mental wasn’t going to miss his chance to be centre stage and kept us hanging about until nearly midnight with his long list of charges, including :
Skimpy for mistaking the drink stop
Pick up Chick – an accolade for picking up the foot on GE Highway several days after last week’s hash. Rubber Duckie had forgotten to collect it.
Pick Up Chick for arriving late as usual and making excuses, excuses…. However she did find lots of treasure once she eventually got going.
Little Weed for abandoning all her resolutions of sobriety at the drink stop and tippling away after declaring she wouldn’t have a drink.
Madonna – something to do with a barbed wire fence
Rubber Duckie suggested that the RA was slacking on the job with the weather because, owing to the rain, he’d had to set the course four times. You’d think with that much practice he’d get it right.
General Business
Skippy is next week’s hare which will kick off from North Ledge, off Mundaring Weir Road. Please leave your dogs at home.
And then we all got stuck into Rubber Duckie’s excellent choice of soups with crusty bread – perfect for a cold, latish night.
Thank you to all of those who helped search for my lost phone. No idea how I managed to lose it but I was very grateful to get it back.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
Run: 2113 – 30 April, 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Chidlow Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty one plus five dogs at the start and finish so none succumbed to fox baits.
The Run
El Keeno issued a warning – he hadn’t recced the trail (his actual expression was connoisseured but we’re all bi-lingual so we knew what he meant) However he’s set so many hashes this last year, he clearly didn’t need a practice run. Wide paths, a bit of bush and a well-marked trail, keeping to the right of the power lines brought everyone back to base in good time apart from Rubber Duckie who started late and insisted on completing the course even when the hare drove off to bring him home.
The Circle
Stand in GM, Skippy was in the captain’s chair again as GPS is still AWOL. He tried to kick off with the very long time no sees but got hijacked by the rubbish collection contingent. Eventually order was restored and the three female members of El Keeno’s family were summoned although only one of them, Hot Mama presented herself for a drink.
Little Weed was invited to give an account of her plans to go to China.
Dripper was given the opportunity to give a report in 30 words or less of his excursion to Exmouth which led to him delivering a pithy lesson on eclipses and apocalypses. We are now all so much wiser, thank you Dripper.
Rubber Duckie was charged for arriving late and delaying the start of the circle.
Charges
Over to the Monk who charged El Keeno for not bringing Rubber Duckie back in his car.
SNB was awarded a drink and a bright yellow T shirt in recognition of his 200th run and told to get a life.
Flushed by the success of her T shirt for SNB, Leapfrog continued to steal the show by handing out mangoes to anyone she considered worthy or deserving.
Reverse charge for Pink Bits who accused El Keeno of not giving detailed directions to the hash site.
Finally, Belt Up was charged for showing off his tripod; a strange sort of exhibitionism!
General Business
Rubber Duckie is setting next week’s run (which is why we couldn’t leave him roaming around in the bush) at Dawson Park, Dawson Ave, Forrestfield. He is providing food so bring eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2112 – 23 April, 2023
Hares: Flying Nun and Passiona
Location: Substation, Tank Hill Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty plus four dogs
The Run
A select group gathered around the scenic substation on a balmy Sunday afternoon. Our GM had gone AWOL so substitute Skippy called the pack to order. “It’s a flat run with no drink stop” said Passiona and “a flat walk” according to Flying Nun. Feedback from a representative of the runners confirmed it was indeed a flat run and likewise from the walkers “a flat walk”. When were we ever in such agreement? El Keeno added a note of tension claiming it was too easy, not enough hills and a walker suggested it was well marked except for the end bit. Phew, we need a bit of tension to spice things up!
The Circle
After calling the hares into the circle, Skippy handed the baton to the RA. At this point we should have been summoning the two newcomers (virgins?) Sonia and Matthew with their Corgi Cheddar Cheese into the circle but they’d wisely skipped off after the walk thus avoiding a DD.
Charges
Passiona for blaming the motorcyclists for messing up the checks.
El Keeno for long short cutting and not being so keen after all.
Rubber Ducky gallantly poured splash into his not-so-new shoe and drank it.
Pink Bits proposed an accolade to Pick up Chick for being on time for a change and for her well-behaved dog.
Pink Bits also offered an apology on behalf of Dripper who was calypsoing or eclipsoing – something to do with the alignment of the sun, moon and earth.
Leapfrog then leapt to the fore with a bright yellow T shirt for Downhill in recognition of his 700th run and a cake covered in decadent chocolate coated marshmallows for Skippy’s birthday.
General Business
El Keeno is setting next week’s run in Chidlow Rd, Chidlow. There are fox baits in the area so if you are bringing your dog, please keep it on a lead.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2111 – 16 April, 2023
Hares: Dave the Pom and Wacuda
Location: 11 Brie Brie Crescent, Kalamunda
Head Count: Approx 50 hashers plus an indefinite number of dogs, maybe four or six or seven?
The Run
A huge group of Hashers met up together - Hills & Bush Hash for our annual get-together organised by Dave the Pom . As everyone arrived the mound of shared food also increased. It was going to be a feast as well as a run . Once GPS assisted by the Hash Horn took some control of the circle, the Hares, Dave the Pom & Wacuda provided some sort of directions with the cryptic *Harold Halt* markings for walkers (were we to disappear?) Oh, it was a Hash Halt ??? we never had one before and never will again!
The walkers' trail wound around the local area before merging into the bush which had that 'halt’ thing. No-one took any notice so it was a FAIL! We then proceeded to the Everest ascent (or just the up and up to nosebleed levels) before finding the drink stop halfway. (Joke) Finally at the drink stop, we had a wonderful break (thanks Dave the Pom) and wound up back to the start.
The runners got off to a good start with an early downhill false trail, then came across the cryptic Hash Halt, failed to comprehend what it meant, and continued on their merry way. Shortly after they were met by the mother of all hills and were reduced to a crawl by the time they got half way up. Some of the runners went roller skating on loose gravel at the steep downward slopes, but amazingly no one fell over. The DS markings led them to a back pack behind a log, which contained a lot of ice and some Coopers stubbies, good choice Wacuda! We then met Dave the Pom behind a fully stocked bar, set up on his neighbour’s driveway, and thankfully it was only a few strides from there till the end.
The Circle
After fairly gorging ourselves on some delish food and snacks, GPS managed to call order and shut everyone up! My my, he was so forceful as we did shut up. White Pointer was called into the circle and given an accolade for 600 runs (get a life!) Then the charges flew thick and fast for minor incidents such as short cutting and complaining about the length of the run.
An amusing charge that needs explanation was on Slippery Nuts for referring to GPS as a chicken (which as Chicken Man he shouldn't mind) The Bush Hash lot really had very few issues regarding charges but Dave the Pom should have been charged with his FAIL on the Hash Halt. We ended the run with the Hills Hash song to the utter amazement of the Bush folk who didn't have a song!
After that we eventually had a BBQ and watched a stunning sunset.
Thanks to Dave the Pom for another very successful get-together.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
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Run: 2110 – 9 April, 2023
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Maida Vale Reserve, Ridge Hill Rd, Maida Vale
Head Count: Twenty one plus four dogs
The Run
Okay so you can be a little suspicious of SNB when he rates a trail set by his mother as 11/10, after all he didn’t want to run the risk of being disinherited. However, the walk was also awarded a generous 11/10 by someone (can’t remember who but certainly with no vested interest) so what conclusion can you possibly reach other than that they were two brilliantly set and marked trails? And I say that with absolutely no hint of bias! Just three runners – Dosh, El Keeno and SNB, all the rest walked the trail. The walkers reached the drink stop first and did their best to tackle the Baileys-filled Easter eggs with plenty left over for the runners. Only Little Weed thought to wear Easter bunny ears, where was Leapfrog with her mobile dressing up box when we needed her?
The Circle
GPS summoned Crusher’s daughter Emma, the almost-virgin for a DD then one for Crusher for not briefing her on how to scull a drink. Emma brought her two children who probably should have had a drink but were busy kicking a ball around the oval with Snake Charmer.
Charges
The Monk took charge and summoned Downhill and Light My Fire into the circle, Downhill for completing his 700th run and Light My Fire 301. We missed recognising her 300th run, sorry LMF. Dosh produced a cake apiece for the high-achievers, both works of creativity and artistic merit.
Hot Rod was charged with having new shoes and boasting he’d paid $50 for them.
Dosh proposed an accolade to SNB for breaking all the hard checks, leaving the easier ones for her and El Keeno. El Keeno was charged for trying to lock a gate thus blocking the way for the other two runners.
Dosh was awarded a DD for her fun cakes, a skier heading downhill for guess who (?) and a fire for Light My Fire .
General Business
Next week’s run will be at 11 Brie Brie Crescent, Kalamunda. It will be a joint run with the Bush Hash and hosted by Dave the Pom. Wacuda will set the run, Dave will set the walk. Please bring a plate of nibbles to share and swimming gear if you fancy a dip. You are welcome to stay for a bbq if you wish, byo food.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2109 – 2 April, 2023
Hares: Pick up Chick and Dripper
Location: Ballot Road, Chidlow
Head Count: Twenty two plus five dogs
The Run
Surprise, surprise! People must either check the website or read the rag or perhaps they were paying attention last week because there were no latecomers for our first 4pm hash since last October. Spot on time, a band of 22 had gathered under an enormous tree on PuC’s property for the early start. Pick up Chick promised the walkers two hills and plenty of baby ticks along bush trails. Not sure about the ticks but it was a most pleasant walk. Meanwhile Dripper said the run wasn’t what he had planned but what the heck or words along those lines. I suspect it was a case of “Trust me, I’m your experienced hare!”
The Circle
One sure way of guaranteeing a short circle is to bring out a tray of fresh scones just as the GM calls the troops to order and this is exactly what Pick up Chick did. The scones were a great temptation for both human and canine members but we restrained ourselves and tried to concentrate on the formalities of the circle. Passiona in a generous mood, rated the run “quite good” and Flying Nun (I think, I was distracted by the scones) said the walk was well marked. GPS then handed over to the monk.
Charges
A long story followed, involving several members of Hills Hash and concerning an incident after last week’s event. It seems GPS drove off with Dripper’s keys in his car and there were various attempts to retrieve the keys including one by Flying Nun who flagged down and virtually hijacked a car containing six young people and four dogs. She thought it was GPS’s car and hey, anyone could have made the same mistake. Dripper and Flying Nun were accordingly summoned to take a DD.
Passiona and GPS were charged over the capabilities of their cars. This was followed by another discussion about the foot with Dripper complaining that despite his efforts, GPS and Skippy didn’t see the foot whereas Downhill did.
And so on to the scones with jam and cream.
General Business
Next week’s Easter run is at Maida Vale Reserve, end of Ridge Hill Rd. Rock Bottom and Crusher are the hares. I know many people will be away, so Happy Easter everyone and hopefully we will see you on 16 April at the joint run. More details in the next rag.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2108 – 26 March, 2023
Hare: SNB
Location: Patterson Road, Bickley
Head Count: Twenty nine plus six dogs
The Run
The troops were gathering but the hare and co-hare were nowhere to be seen. With just a few minutes to spare they appeared clutching a bottle of lime used to re-mark bits of the trail obliterated by the miserable few drops of rain that had fallen during the morning. Off the walkers went following dots and W’s while the runners ran around all over the place guided by the hare who still didn’t trust the permanence of his trail markings. We followed lovely bush trails, part of which was a crazy slalom cycle path but fortunately the cyclists were all somewhere else yesterday. Suitably fortified at the drink stop we headed up a steep hill back to base.
The Circle
Dripper thought it was a good run. He couldn’t find the trail in a couple of places but informed us all he was still alive in case we hadn’t noticed. The walkers judged the trail to be well marked, Little Weed said something about going the long way whereas Downhill said he’d gone the short way. I’m not sure how that worked out given that there was only one walking trail. The hare SNB and his co-hare, Snake Charmer dutifully took a DD.
GPS then called Bum Scraper from Thailand into the circle to celebrate her first run with Hills Hash.
Other Charges
In the absence of any blood and therefore no Hash Crash, the Monk decided to pick on a family member. Spot On was summoned into the circle for insurrection and uttering threats to the hare.
Mental Disorder charged Wacuda for being overly popular with all sorts of insects ie ticks, fleas, mosquitoes, probably cockroaches… Leapfrog picked up on this theme and leapt into the circle brandishing cans of insect repellent which she handed out to Wacuda and SNB for being the most flea-bitten members of HH. It’s an honour we’d all aspire to but alas, not given to everyone!
Mental also charged Dosh for advising several of us to smile when Light My Fire was photographing our lurid socks, focussing on feet, not faces. I’m with you there Mental.
Rock Bottom charged Little Weed for being a week early with the 4pm start, travelling via Albany then complaining about the distance and the fact that she didn’t have time for breakfast, a shower or the chance to put on her make up. She was just too busy sorting out recyclables.
It was getting dark and despite this lengthy blurb it was a short circle with several omissions, namely:
Mental Disorder – 50th run. Sorry Mental, my fault.
LTNS – Fire Extinguisher, Pole Dancer, Belt Up. We’ll get you next time.
El Keeno – you guessed it, short cutting, AGAIN!
General Business
Next week’s run is at Pick Up Chick’s house, 615 Ballot Rd, Chidlow. Dripper is the hare. Please note THE RUN WILL START AT 4PM. We are moving to winter starting time.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2107 – 19 March, 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: MJM Park, Glen Forrest
Head Count: Thirty four plus four dogs
The Run
Most hash members turned up in their St Patrick’s Day gear, which varied from a simple green t-shirt to ornate outfits. That left a few of us, who either don’t have any green clothing or can’t work out which week of the year it is. With or without or costumes, we were all lined up in front of a Eucalyptus tree to put on our best Irish display for the group photos, and then we were off to hit the trails.
The Circle
LTNS Porno King reported that the run had plenty of checks, false trails and rocks on the trail. The rocks looked like they’d been there for a while, but El Keeno claimed the credit for them anyway. The hare also claimed that his run of the year was ruined because the runners lost the trail.
The GM called in a supposed virgin, Carol who had been invited to the run by Little Weed. Pink Bits was immediately suspicious and accused Carol of not being a virgin, as she had caught her in the act of hashing in 1986 (or thereabouts) at Jacoby Park. Carol assured the group that we’re all weirdos, which seemed to settle everyone down for a couple of seconds until the song started. GPS had a spring in his step which prompted Dosh to ask about his disappointments – they’d all gone missing!
We then had a line up for the costume award which was won by leprechaun Wacuda (see photos), who was fittingly awarded a down down for his good taste and efforts. Dosh the monk awarded the lame duck award to Flying Nun for taking a short cut on the walk. She had a good reason for short cutting – she didn’t want to go up the hill.
El Keeno charged Skippy for running past a false trail marking, leading all the runners astray and spoiling the run of the year. Train Wreck was called in and awarded with a magnificent plate for his 101th run. Accolades were granted to Wise Crack and Spackle who were the only hashers not led astray by Skippy, and went on to complete the run.
General Business
Light My Fire produced a very Irish meal of green rice and curry which was enjoyed by all.
Next week’s run kicks off at Patterson Rd (just south of Lockwood Rd), Pickering Brook. SNB is the hare.
SNB (stand in scribe)
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Run: 2106 – 12 March 2023
Hares: Dripper
Location: Chidlow oval, Chidlow
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Run
Question: When is an oval not an oval?
Answer: When it is not adjacent to a tavern
A small number of us followed the location information and pitched up to the Chidlow oval wondering where the rest of the pack was, only to see the hare appear in the distance advising us to drive to the park opposite the tavern. He thought “everyone would know it would be in the usual place”. And to be fair, most people knew not to take Dripper too literally. In a contest between accuracy and a pub, the pub will win every time. So off we set on a short walk, 2.77 kms according to Shagged Out and by the hare’s estimation, a brilliant run. Who would argue?
The Circle
GPS was called to account for his absence last week. We were treated to a convoluted story involving a better offer, a severe case of man flu (is there any other kind?), the excision of a cancerous spot on his head and no sympathy at all from Zippy or anyone else. The surgical excision must have affected his brain cells because he got so excited calling out the LTNS, he forgot to summon the hare into the circle.
LTNS: Topless, Spot On, Look Out, Hot Rod
Train Wreck was congratulated on completing 100 runs.
Charges
Stand in monk Wacuda charged Sheep Shunter for leading the pack astray and finally Dripper was summoned to take a drink. However by this time we’d run out of splash so he took a swig from his own beer.
Several of us then ambled off to the tavern for a hearty meal.
General Business:
On 16 April we will have a joint run with the Bush Hash at Dave the Pom’s house in Kalamunda. Members of the Bush Hash will set the walk and Hills Hash volunteers will set a run. Dave would like an indication of how many of us will be there. Please bring snacks and food for a barbecue if you plan to stay. All are welcome, including children and if you would like to swim in the pool, bring swimming gear. More details later and we will collect names closer to the date to forward to Dave
El Keeno is setting next week’s rum from Morgan John Morgan Park in Glen Forrest. It’s a St Patrick’s Day run so wear green. Also bring eating utensils for the Hash Nosh
.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2105 – 5 March 2023
Hares: Dosh and Wacuda
Location: Schipp Road, Piesse Brook
Head Count: Eighteen plus three dogs
The Run
Yes, I know we’re called the Hills Hash but that doesn’t mean the hares have to take “hills” quite so literally! Dosh set the walk but planned to do the run while Wacuda set the run but was accompanying the walkers, if you can work that out. So after receiving that bit of information, as well as “please don’t over-indulge at the drink stop, we had to carry the f….ing esky up the hill”, we set off. Up we went (steep hill) then further up (steep hill) and on on up a steep hill until altitude sickness beckoned. Having arrived in eagle territory we were treated with panoramic views, a cloudless sky and a feeling of achievement. We wended our way down to the drink stop and paused to admire the view, meanwhile congratulating ourselves that we’d conquered the hills. Not so, there was another steep hill to come, this time a newly ploughed slope of loose gravel followed by the descent back to base. Did I mention steep hills?
The Circle
Several regulars were missing this week including our GM who claimed he had secret men’s business. It won’t be a secret next week when he is subjected to a probing interrogation to account for his absence. So, stand in GM Leapfrog called us all to attention. The hares were commended for an exceedingly well-marked trail, perfect weather for a stroll in the woods and stunning views. Sheep Shunter and El Keeno (for a change) were charged with short-cutting.
Charges
The monk summoned Little Weed into the circle for expanding her regular collection of recyclables to include bongs.
Rock Bottom was charged for living up to her name at the drink stop by sitting on a rock. I ask you!
72”BR Dildo was commended for accompanying Madonna back to base and celebrated by giving us a demonstration of how to scull a beer.
El Keeno charged Wacuda for having a creek bed obsession even when there’s no water in them.
Pink Bits charged Rock Bottom for a spot- the- error in last week’s run report. I’d swear those bits of plastic were blue.
Leapfrog congratulated Crusher for being a runner of renown by representing Australia three times in the World Cross Country Championships a couple of centuries ago.
General Business:
Next week’s run is at Chidlow oval. Dripper will be the hare and the plan is to assemble at the pub afterwards for a meal.
.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2103 - 19 February 2023
Hare: Skippy
Is It Hot, or Is It Me ?
No ... it was quite a hot day but it was a good turnout. Skippy had us amassed at a new venue in Sawyers Valley. We were advised that the run was fairly flat, quite shady and of an average length. There was an added advantage of a drink stop !
Skippy, being renowned for over exaggerating, for once was close to the mark. Walkers had a flat shady stroll which was quite long but enjoyed the drink stop. The runners appeared to have found some hills (?) and were somewhat delirious on return.
Once we all recovered to normal body temperatures, GM got the circle together (easier herding ants) A newcomer, John, was welcomed and it transpired that he was the grandson of Madonna ! Well done to him for coming through without too much trauma, and for actually enjoying the run (!) Down Down administered ...
Due to my level of delirium, I know there were many other dd's - including one to self for tampering with the drinks (WHAT ? I thought they were refreshing for a change !) but let's just say there were quite a few - all deserved -
We were anticipating Hash Nosh so without more ado, we sang the song and went to feast on a great meal. Thanks LMF .....
On On
PB xxx
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Chidlow Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty one plus five dogs at the start and finish so none succumbed to fox baits.
The Run
El Keeno issued a warning – he hadn’t recced the trail (his actual expression was connoisseured but we’re all bi-lingual so we knew what he meant) However he’s set so many hashes this last year, he clearly didn’t need a practice run. Wide paths, a bit of bush and a well-marked trail, keeping to the right of the power lines brought everyone back to base in good time apart from Rubber Duckie who started late and insisted on completing the course even when the hare drove off to bring him home.
The Circle
Stand in GM, Skippy was in the captain’s chair again as GPS is still AWOL. He tried to kick off with the very long time no sees but got hijacked by the rubbish collection contingent. Eventually order was restored and the three female members of El Keeno’s family were summoned although only one of them, Hot Mama presented herself for a drink.
Little Weed was invited to give an account of her plans to go to China.
Dripper was given the opportunity to give a report in 30 words or less of his excursion to Exmouth which led to him delivering a pithy lesson on eclipses and apocalypses. We are now all so much wiser, thank you Dripper.
Rubber Duckie was charged for arriving late and delaying the start of the circle.
Charges
Over to the Monk who charged El Keeno for not bringing Rubber Duckie back in his car.
SNB was awarded a drink and a bright yellow T shirt in recognition of his 200th run and told to get a life.
Flushed by the success of her T shirt for SNB, Leapfrog continued to steal the show by handing out mangoes to anyone she considered worthy or deserving.
Reverse charge for Pink Bits who accused El Keeno of not giving detailed directions to the hash site.
Finally, Belt Up was charged for showing off his tripod; a strange sort of exhibitionism!
General Business
Rubber Duckie is setting next week’s run (which is why we couldn’t leave him roaming around in the bush) at Dawson Park, Dawson Ave, Forrestfield. He is providing food so bring eating utensils.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2112 – 23 April, 2023
Hares: Flying Nun and Passiona
Location: Substation, Tank Hill Road, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty plus four dogs
The Run
A select group gathered around the scenic substation on a balmy Sunday afternoon. Our GM had gone AWOL so substitute Skippy called the pack to order. “It’s a flat run with no drink stop” said Passiona and “a flat walk” according to Flying Nun. Feedback from a representative of the runners confirmed it was indeed a flat run and likewise from the walkers “a flat walk”. When were we ever in such agreement? El Keeno added a note of tension claiming it was too easy, not enough hills and a walker suggested it was well marked except for the end bit. Phew, we need a bit of tension to spice things up!
The Circle
After calling the hares into the circle, Skippy handed the baton to the RA. At this point we should have been summoning the two newcomers (virgins?) Sonia and Matthew with their Corgi Cheddar Cheese into the circle but they’d wisely skipped off after the walk thus avoiding a DD.
Charges
Passiona for blaming the motorcyclists for messing up the checks.
El Keeno for long short cutting and not being so keen after all.
Rubber Ducky gallantly poured splash into his not-so-new shoe and drank it.
Pink Bits proposed an accolade to Pick up Chick for being on time for a change and for her well-behaved dog.
Pink Bits also offered an apology on behalf of Dripper who was calypsoing or eclipsoing – something to do with the alignment of the sun, moon and earth.
Leapfrog then leapt to the fore with a bright yellow T shirt for Downhill in recognition of his 700th run and a cake covered in decadent chocolate coated marshmallows for Skippy’s birthday.
General Business
El Keeno is setting next week’s run in Chidlow Rd, Chidlow. There are fox baits in the area so if you are bringing your dog, please keep it on a lead.
OnOn
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2111 – 16 April, 2023
Hares: Dave the Pom and Wacuda
Location: 11 Brie Brie Crescent, Kalamunda
Head Count: Approx 50 hashers plus an indefinite number of dogs, maybe four or six or seven?
The Run
A huge group of Hashers met up together - Hills & Bush Hash for our annual get-together organised by Dave the Pom . As everyone arrived the mound of shared food also increased. It was going to be a feast as well as a run . Once GPS assisted by the Hash Horn took some control of the circle, the Hares, Dave the Pom & Wacuda provided some sort of directions with the cryptic *Harold Halt* markings for walkers (were we to disappear?) Oh, it was a Hash Halt ??? we never had one before and never will again!
The walkers' trail wound around the local area before merging into the bush which had that 'halt’ thing. No-one took any notice so it was a FAIL! We then proceeded to the Everest ascent (or just the up and up to nosebleed levels) before finding the drink stop halfway. (Joke) Finally at the drink stop, we had a wonderful break (thanks Dave the Pom) and wound up back to the start.
The runners got off to a good start with an early downhill false trail, then came across the cryptic Hash Halt, failed to comprehend what it meant, and continued on their merry way. Shortly after they were met by the mother of all hills and were reduced to a crawl by the time they got half way up. Some of the runners went roller skating on loose gravel at the steep downward slopes, but amazingly no one fell over. The DS markings led them to a back pack behind a log, which contained a lot of ice and some Coopers stubbies, good choice Wacuda! We then met Dave the Pom behind a fully stocked bar, set up on his neighbour’s driveway, and thankfully it was only a few strides from there till the end.
The Circle
After fairly gorging ourselves on some delish food and snacks, GPS managed to call order and shut everyone up! My my, he was so forceful as we did shut up. White Pointer was called into the circle and given an accolade for 600 runs (get a life!) Then the charges flew thick and fast for minor incidents such as short cutting and complaining about the length of the run.
An amusing charge that needs explanation was on Slippery Nuts for referring to GPS as a chicken (which as Chicken Man he shouldn't mind) The Bush Hash lot really had very few issues regarding charges but Dave the Pom should have been charged with his FAIL on the Hash Halt. We ended the run with the Hills Hash song to the utter amazement of the Bush folk who didn't have a song!
After that we eventually had a BBQ and watched a stunning sunset.
Thanks to Dave the Pom for another very successful get-together.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
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Run: 2110 – 9 April, 2023
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Maida Vale Reserve, Ridge Hill Rd, Maida Vale
Head Count: Twenty one plus four dogs
The Run
Okay so you can be a little suspicious of SNB when he rates a trail set by his mother as 11/10, after all he didn’t want to run the risk of being disinherited. However, the walk was also awarded a generous 11/10 by someone (can’t remember who but certainly with no vested interest) so what conclusion can you possibly reach other than that they were two brilliantly set and marked trails? And I say that with absolutely no hint of bias! Just three runners – Dosh, El Keeno and SNB, all the rest walked the trail. The walkers reached the drink stop first and did their best to tackle the Baileys-filled Easter eggs with plenty left over for the runners. Only Little Weed thought to wear Easter bunny ears, where was Leapfrog with her mobile dressing up box when we needed her?
The Circle
GPS summoned Crusher’s daughter Emma, the almost-virgin for a DD then one for Crusher for not briefing her on how to scull a drink. Emma brought her two children who probably should have had a drink but were busy kicking a ball around the oval with Snake Charmer.
Charges
The Monk took charge and summoned Downhill and Light My Fire into the circle, Downhill for completing his 700th run and Light My Fire 301. We missed recognising her 300th run, sorry LMF. Dosh produced a cake apiece for the high-achievers, both works of creativity and artistic merit.
Hot Rod was charged with having new shoes and boasting he’d paid $50 for them.
Dosh proposed an accolade to SNB for breaking all the hard checks, leaving the easier ones for her and El Keeno. El Keeno was charged for trying to lock a gate thus blocking the way for the other two runners.
Dosh was awarded a DD for her fun cakes, a skier heading downhill for guess who (?) and a fire for Light My Fire .
General Business
Next week’s run will be at 11 Brie Brie Crescent, Kalamunda. It will be a joint run with the Bush Hash and hosted by Dave the Pom. Wacuda will set the run, Dave will set the walk. Please bring a plate of nibbles to share and swimming gear if you fancy a dip. You are welcome to stay for a bbq if you wish, byo food.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2109 – 2 April, 2023
Hares: Pick up Chick and Dripper
Location: Ballot Road, Chidlow
Head Count: Twenty two plus five dogs
The Run
Surprise, surprise! People must either check the website or read the rag or perhaps they were paying attention last week because there were no latecomers for our first 4pm hash since last October. Spot on time, a band of 22 had gathered under an enormous tree on PuC’s property for the early start. Pick up Chick promised the walkers two hills and plenty of baby ticks along bush trails. Not sure about the ticks but it was a most pleasant walk. Meanwhile Dripper said the run wasn’t what he had planned but what the heck or words along those lines. I suspect it was a case of “Trust me, I’m your experienced hare!”
The Circle
One sure way of guaranteeing a short circle is to bring out a tray of fresh scones just as the GM calls the troops to order and this is exactly what Pick up Chick did. The scones were a great temptation for both human and canine members but we restrained ourselves and tried to concentrate on the formalities of the circle. Passiona in a generous mood, rated the run “quite good” and Flying Nun (I think, I was distracted by the scones) said the walk was well marked. GPS then handed over to the monk.
Charges
A long story followed, involving several members of Hills Hash and concerning an incident after last week’s event. It seems GPS drove off with Dripper’s keys in his car and there were various attempts to retrieve the keys including one by Flying Nun who flagged down and virtually hijacked a car containing six young people and four dogs. She thought it was GPS’s car and hey, anyone could have made the same mistake. Dripper and Flying Nun were accordingly summoned to take a DD.
Passiona and GPS were charged over the capabilities of their cars. This was followed by another discussion about the foot with Dripper complaining that despite his efforts, GPS and Skippy didn’t see the foot whereas Downhill did.
And so on to the scones with jam and cream.
General Business
Next week’s Easter run is at Maida Vale Reserve, end of Ridge Hill Rd. Rock Bottom and Crusher are the hares. I know many people will be away, so Happy Easter everyone and hopefully we will see you on 16 April at the joint run. More details in the next rag.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2108 – 26 March, 2023
Hare: SNB
Location: Patterson Road, Bickley
Head Count: Twenty nine plus six dogs
The Run
The troops were gathering but the hare and co-hare were nowhere to be seen. With just a few minutes to spare they appeared clutching a bottle of lime used to re-mark bits of the trail obliterated by the miserable few drops of rain that had fallen during the morning. Off the walkers went following dots and W’s while the runners ran around all over the place guided by the hare who still didn’t trust the permanence of his trail markings. We followed lovely bush trails, part of which was a crazy slalom cycle path but fortunately the cyclists were all somewhere else yesterday. Suitably fortified at the drink stop we headed up a steep hill back to base.
The Circle
Dripper thought it was a good run. He couldn’t find the trail in a couple of places but informed us all he was still alive in case we hadn’t noticed. The walkers judged the trail to be well marked, Little Weed said something about going the long way whereas Downhill said he’d gone the short way. I’m not sure how that worked out given that there was only one walking trail. The hare SNB and his co-hare, Snake Charmer dutifully took a DD.
GPS then called Bum Scraper from Thailand into the circle to celebrate her first run with Hills Hash.
Other Charges
In the absence of any blood and therefore no Hash Crash, the Monk decided to pick on a family member. Spot On was summoned into the circle for insurrection and uttering threats to the hare.
Mental Disorder charged Wacuda for being overly popular with all sorts of insects ie ticks, fleas, mosquitoes, probably cockroaches… Leapfrog picked up on this theme and leapt into the circle brandishing cans of insect repellent which she handed out to Wacuda and SNB for being the most flea-bitten members of HH. It’s an honour we’d all aspire to but alas, not given to everyone!
Mental also charged Dosh for advising several of us to smile when Light My Fire was photographing our lurid socks, focussing on feet, not faces. I’m with you there Mental.
Rock Bottom charged Little Weed for being a week early with the 4pm start, travelling via Albany then complaining about the distance and the fact that she didn’t have time for breakfast, a shower or the chance to put on her make up. She was just too busy sorting out recyclables.
It was getting dark and despite this lengthy blurb it was a short circle with several omissions, namely:
Mental Disorder – 50th run. Sorry Mental, my fault.
LTNS – Fire Extinguisher, Pole Dancer, Belt Up. We’ll get you next time.
El Keeno – you guessed it, short cutting, AGAIN!
General Business
Next week’s run is at Pick Up Chick’s house, 615 Ballot Rd, Chidlow. Dripper is the hare. Please note THE RUN WILL START AT 4PM. We are moving to winter starting time.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2107 – 19 March, 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: MJM Park, Glen Forrest
Head Count: Thirty four plus four dogs
The Run
Most hash members turned up in their St Patrick’s Day gear, which varied from a simple green t-shirt to ornate outfits. That left a few of us, who either don’t have any green clothing or can’t work out which week of the year it is. With or without or costumes, we were all lined up in front of a Eucalyptus tree to put on our best Irish display for the group photos, and then we were off to hit the trails.
The Circle
LTNS Porno King reported that the run had plenty of checks, false trails and rocks on the trail. The rocks looked like they’d been there for a while, but El Keeno claimed the credit for them anyway. The hare also claimed that his run of the year was ruined because the runners lost the trail.
The GM called in a supposed virgin, Carol who had been invited to the run by Little Weed. Pink Bits was immediately suspicious and accused Carol of not being a virgin, as she had caught her in the act of hashing in 1986 (or thereabouts) at Jacoby Park. Carol assured the group that we’re all weirdos, which seemed to settle everyone down for a couple of seconds until the song started. GPS had a spring in his step which prompted Dosh to ask about his disappointments – they’d all gone missing!
We then had a line up for the costume award which was won by leprechaun Wacuda (see photos), who was fittingly awarded a down down for his good taste and efforts. Dosh the monk awarded the lame duck award to Flying Nun for taking a short cut on the walk. She had a good reason for short cutting – she didn’t want to go up the hill.
El Keeno charged Skippy for running past a false trail marking, leading all the runners astray and spoiling the run of the year. Train Wreck was called in and awarded with a magnificent plate for his 101th run. Accolades were granted to Wise Crack and Spackle who were the only hashers not led astray by Skippy, and went on to complete the run.
General Business
Light My Fire produced a very Irish meal of green rice and curry which was enjoyed by all.
Next week’s run kicks off at Patterson Rd (just south of Lockwood Rd), Pickering Brook. SNB is the hare.
SNB (stand in scribe)
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Run: 2106 – 12 March 2023
Hares: Dripper
Location: Chidlow oval, Chidlow
Head Count: Twenty five plus four dogs
The Run
Question: When is an oval not an oval?
Answer: When it is not adjacent to a tavern
A small number of us followed the location information and pitched up to the Chidlow oval wondering where the rest of the pack was, only to see the hare appear in the distance advising us to drive to the park opposite the tavern. He thought “everyone would know it would be in the usual place”. And to be fair, most people knew not to take Dripper too literally. In a contest between accuracy and a pub, the pub will win every time. So off we set on a short walk, 2.77 kms according to Shagged Out and by the hare’s estimation, a brilliant run. Who would argue?
The Circle
GPS was called to account for his absence last week. We were treated to a convoluted story involving a better offer, a severe case of man flu (is there any other kind?), the excision of a cancerous spot on his head and no sympathy at all from Zippy or anyone else. The surgical excision must have affected his brain cells because he got so excited calling out the LTNS, he forgot to summon the hare into the circle.
LTNS: Topless, Spot On, Look Out, Hot Rod
Train Wreck was congratulated on completing 100 runs.
Charges
Stand in monk Wacuda charged Sheep Shunter for leading the pack astray and finally Dripper was summoned to take a drink. However by this time we’d run out of splash so he took a swig from his own beer.
Several of us then ambled off to the tavern for a hearty meal.
General Business:
On 16 April we will have a joint run with the Bush Hash at Dave the Pom’s house in Kalamunda. Members of the Bush Hash will set the walk and Hills Hash volunteers will set a run. Dave would like an indication of how many of us will be there. Please bring snacks and food for a barbecue if you plan to stay. All are welcome, including children and if you would like to swim in the pool, bring swimming gear. More details later and we will collect names closer to the date to forward to Dave
El Keeno is setting next week’s rum from Morgan John Morgan Park in Glen Forrest. It’s a St Patrick’s Day run so wear green. Also bring eating utensils for the Hash Nosh
.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2105 – 5 March 2023
Hares: Dosh and Wacuda
Location: Schipp Road, Piesse Brook
Head Count: Eighteen plus three dogs
The Run
Yes, I know we’re called the Hills Hash but that doesn’t mean the hares have to take “hills” quite so literally! Dosh set the walk but planned to do the run while Wacuda set the run but was accompanying the walkers, if you can work that out. So after receiving that bit of information, as well as “please don’t over-indulge at the drink stop, we had to carry the f….ing esky up the hill”, we set off. Up we went (steep hill) then further up (steep hill) and on on up a steep hill until altitude sickness beckoned. Having arrived in eagle territory we were treated with panoramic views, a cloudless sky and a feeling of achievement. We wended our way down to the drink stop and paused to admire the view, meanwhile congratulating ourselves that we’d conquered the hills. Not so, there was another steep hill to come, this time a newly ploughed slope of loose gravel followed by the descent back to base. Did I mention steep hills?
The Circle
Several regulars were missing this week including our GM who claimed he had secret men’s business. It won’t be a secret next week when he is subjected to a probing interrogation to account for his absence. So, stand in GM Leapfrog called us all to attention. The hares were commended for an exceedingly well-marked trail, perfect weather for a stroll in the woods and stunning views. Sheep Shunter and El Keeno (for a change) were charged with short-cutting.
Charges
The monk summoned Little Weed into the circle for expanding her regular collection of recyclables to include bongs.
Rock Bottom was charged for living up to her name at the drink stop by sitting on a rock. I ask you!
72”BR Dildo was commended for accompanying Madonna back to base and celebrated by giving us a demonstration of how to scull a beer.
El Keeno charged Wacuda for having a creek bed obsession even when there’s no water in them.
Pink Bits charged Rock Bottom for a spot- the- error in last week’s run report. I’d swear those bits of plastic were blue.
Leapfrog congratulated Crusher for being a runner of renown by representing Australia three times in the World Cross Country Championships a couple of centuries ago.
General Business:
Next week’s run is at Chidlow oval. Dripper will be the hare and the plan is to assemble at the pub afterwards for a meal.
.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2103 - 19 February 2023
Hare: Skippy
Is It Hot, or Is It Me ?
No ... it was quite a hot day but it was a good turnout. Skippy had us amassed at a new venue in Sawyers Valley. We were advised that the run was fairly flat, quite shady and of an average length. There was an added advantage of a drink stop !
Skippy, being renowned for over exaggerating, for once was close to the mark. Walkers had a flat shady stroll which was quite long but enjoyed the drink stop. The runners appeared to have found some hills (?) and were somewhat delirious on return.
Once we all recovered to normal body temperatures, GM got the circle together (easier herding ants) A newcomer, John, was welcomed and it transpired that he was the grandson of Madonna ! Well done to him for coming through without too much trauma, and for actually enjoying the run (!) Down Down administered ...
Due to my level of delirium, I know there were many other dd's - including one to self for tampering with the drinks (WHAT ? I thought they were refreshing for a change !) but let's just say there were quite a few - all deserved -
We were anticipating Hash Nosh so without more ado, we sang the song and went to feast on a great meal. Thanks LMF .....
On On
PB xxx
Hash Ramblings
Run: 2102 – 12 February 2023
Hare: GPS
Location: Blackboy Hill, Greenmount
Head Count: Thirty plus five dogs
The Run
Various alluring and not-so-alluring garments were featured on our Valentine’s Day run. Some of us lacked either the imagination or time to mark the occasion with suitable lingerie but Leapfrog’s dress up box had enough for all so we raided it and were well turned out for the communal photo. Fortunately Aarfabithore was facing the camera for the official shot so we weren’t exposed to his rear view. I’ll say no more! We then set off, up and down hills on a hot day on a well- marked course. However, you always get a couple of non-conformists, this time Shagged Out and Cow Pat who strayed from the walkers’ route and eventually found their way home following the run trail. GPS was mindful of Dripper’s complaints about not making enough profit on the drinks so spared us a drink stop so that we’d all be really thirsty on our return and boost the club’s coffers.
The Circle
Dripper was so grateful to GPS for demonstrating concern about the club’s profits, he awarded the run 10/10. Either that or he was trying to curry favour with the boss. So GPS in his role as GM then awarded GPS, the hare the obligatory drink and we moved on.
Charges
LTNS: Deliverance and Menstrual Disorder
The Monk charged El Keeno with stripping on the run. He said he shed his fancy gear because he was too hot.
Dripper was charged with shocking two of the locals as he pranced past in his sexy outfit.
Wacuda charged Madonna for holding up the traffic so that he could cross the road
Dripper charged Passiona, something to do with a bra strap but look, it’s all getting too intimate so I’m ending this report right now.
General Business:
Skippy is setting the next run. The location is Stonehouse Loop, Gt Eastern Highway, Sawyers Valley and it will be a Hash Nosh so bring your own eating container and utensils.
On On
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2101 – 5 February 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Parkerville Hall, Seaborne St, Parkerville
Head Count: Twenty six plus four dogs
The Run
El Keeno is clearly hankering for a cluster of awards – the most runs set this year, the most original drink stop and the most hazardous walking trail. Well okay, the hare can’t be held responsible if the walkers choose to ignore the trail, clamber over a fence, trespass on private property and risk being savaged by a fierce dog which was after all only doing its job in defending its property. The lesson to be heeded here is don’t listen to Downhill who blithely assured everyone that it’s perfectly safe to ignore “Beware of the Dog” signs, the owners are only bluffing. As for the trail, the overall verdict was lots of bush tracks, lots of hills and a well set run and walk with a drink stop with a difference for the runners.
The Circle
Having awarded El Keeno a drink, GPS then excitedly announced we had a virgin in the pack. He’s a bit or a worry, doesn’t seem to know the difference between a virgin and a first timer but please don’t overwhelm the website with explanations!!! In fact Smurf is an experienced hasher although first time with Hills Hash. She’d hitched a ride with Franger, will we see her again?
Charges
The monk took over and charged Cow Pat for being Hash Crash although even she admitted there wasn’t much blood.
We then segued on to a re-hash of the fence-climbing, rabid Rottweiler incident for which Downhill and Smurf were called on to take a DD. After being accused of misleading the pack over the fence on to the private property, maybe we won’t see Smurf again.
Franger charged Skippy for nearly bowling him over and there was mention of short cutting.
GPS charged Aarfabithore (sp?) and 72 Black Rubber Dildo (don’t blame me, I didn’t choose their names) with sex in the circle so at least he’d moved on from virgins.
General Business:
GPS is next week’s hare and the location will be Blackboy Hill, Greenmount. Please note, it’s a lingerie run so a chance to show off your elegant nightwear.
Thanks once again to Pink Bits for deputising for me for the past two weeks.
Rock Bottom
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Run 2100 – 29 January 2023
Hares: Cowpat & Blowfly
A somewhat interesting run this week as there was a large contingent of Freo Hashers invading Hills Hash ! We were very pleased to see them and welcomed them on a particularly humid, muggy day on the banks of the Helena River. Cowpat and Blowfly were the Hares and were invited to give the chalk talk. That too was somewhat confusing as a plethora of paraphernalia was displayed that had been used to mark the trail .... Runners and walkers split off in two directions, the horn was heard just faintly for a few minutes as walkers sauntered along a very pleasant trail by the river ... a swim was SO tempting ??? GOSH !!!
It was not a good day for picking up the pace and eventually everyone returned to the start (looking a bit hot and bothered) for a refreshing beverage ...
Once GPS called the circle, we had the run analyzed and given a good rating ! We welcomed a few *long-time-no-see's* and presented Madonna with his 700 Foot -at last- !
The RA was again hard pressed to have any charges herself but there were numerous from the floor to keep her busy - There was much mirth about the *Babes in Bikinis* along the trail (reminiscent of *Nudes on the Rocks*) Dripper was looking too much .....
There was a moment when Pick Up Chick managed to throw a cool drink at GPS (horror - AT GPS OUR ESTEEMED GM ??? ) It was so funny that we had a re-enactment ...... you had to be there !
Leapfrog charged Passiona for lousy driving causing their dog to gravelly injure her ... Again, you had to be there !
There were a number of other charges but as the heat had got to me and I was somewhat delirious, I can't recall ...
We eventually sang the song with gusto and went off in search of air conditioning !
On On
Pink Bits (Rock Bottom back next week)
Next week's run: Parkerville Hall, Seaborne St Parkerville
Hare: El Keeno
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Run: 2099 - 22 January 2023
A very Special Boutique Run !
While Rock Bottom & Crusher are on secret Hashing business, Pink Bits will try to emulate the excellent run reports by Rock Bottom !
Not a big turnout as the day was very HOT & the venue was changed to the Kookaburra Outdoor Cinema car park in the vicinity of Mundaring Weir. This meant no dogs !
Still the usual suspects milled about sheepishly considering a hot run/walk - groan !
The special Hare was Leapfrog as this was her birthday "Just Desserts" run. She was ably assisted by Passiona. The chalk talk was short and to the point - a short walk close to the poo tanks (What !) (mentioned to be 30 minutes!) but an average run (could be hours) !
We set off together till we came across W's for walkers and meandered down some lovely tracks - a bit up and down in parts but altogether very pleasant AND 30 mins on the dot ! The run was a tad more complicated with some significant uphills and a number of false trails and checks. Many red faces on return ....
Surprisingly, everyone got back to the start around the same time eager to enjoy all the smashing frog cakes, courtesy of DOSH and other sweet delicacies on offer.
GPS called order and we began the circle, welcoming 2 new runners - 72 inch Black Rubber Dildo & Aarfabitwhore (don't ask - they are Dildo and Harfwhore for short) Next the birthday girl was completely ignored and the hat went to *Downhill* as it was ACTUALLY his birthday on the day. Leapfrog was quite happy to share her celebrations as she is having a whole month of them ! WACUDA took centre stage and beautifully read out a special poem for her and DOSH presented her with an amazing "froggy" scarf ! So much celebration ..... it was starting to be overwhelming ....
Obviously the Hares were charged for setting the run (considered good by everyone) and a few other minor charges were handed out. However, we were waiting for the next exciting installment of this run - PIZZA
Passiona had been delegated as the delivery boy and soon arrived with numerous delish pizzas, quickly devoured by the starving pack.
A few Hashers were planning to see *Avatar* at the outdoor cinema so we sang the song and set off to the movie - (all 3 1/2 hours of it ... but it was very good !)
On On in celebration ...
Pink Bits xxx
Hare: GPS
Location: Blackboy Hill, Greenmount
Head Count: Thirty plus five dogs
The Run
Various alluring and not-so-alluring garments were featured on our Valentine’s Day run. Some of us lacked either the imagination or time to mark the occasion with suitable lingerie but Leapfrog’s dress up box had enough for all so we raided it and were well turned out for the communal photo. Fortunately Aarfabithore was facing the camera for the official shot so we weren’t exposed to his rear view. I’ll say no more! We then set off, up and down hills on a hot day on a well- marked course. However, you always get a couple of non-conformists, this time Shagged Out and Cow Pat who strayed from the walkers’ route and eventually found their way home following the run trail. GPS was mindful of Dripper’s complaints about not making enough profit on the drinks so spared us a drink stop so that we’d all be really thirsty on our return and boost the club’s coffers.
The Circle
Dripper was so grateful to GPS for demonstrating concern about the club’s profits, he awarded the run 10/10. Either that or he was trying to curry favour with the boss. So GPS in his role as GM then awarded GPS, the hare the obligatory drink and we moved on.
Charges
LTNS: Deliverance and Menstrual Disorder
The Monk charged El Keeno with stripping on the run. He said he shed his fancy gear because he was too hot.
Dripper was charged with shocking two of the locals as he pranced past in his sexy outfit.
Wacuda charged Madonna for holding up the traffic so that he could cross the road
Dripper charged Passiona, something to do with a bra strap but look, it’s all getting too intimate so I’m ending this report right now.
General Business:
Skippy is setting the next run. The location is Stonehouse Loop, Gt Eastern Highway, Sawyers Valley and it will be a Hash Nosh so bring your own eating container and utensils.
On On
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2101 – 5 February 2023
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Parkerville Hall, Seaborne St, Parkerville
Head Count: Twenty six plus four dogs
The Run
El Keeno is clearly hankering for a cluster of awards – the most runs set this year, the most original drink stop and the most hazardous walking trail. Well okay, the hare can’t be held responsible if the walkers choose to ignore the trail, clamber over a fence, trespass on private property and risk being savaged by a fierce dog which was after all only doing its job in defending its property. The lesson to be heeded here is don’t listen to Downhill who blithely assured everyone that it’s perfectly safe to ignore “Beware of the Dog” signs, the owners are only bluffing. As for the trail, the overall verdict was lots of bush tracks, lots of hills and a well set run and walk with a drink stop with a difference for the runners.
The Circle
Having awarded El Keeno a drink, GPS then excitedly announced we had a virgin in the pack. He’s a bit or a worry, doesn’t seem to know the difference between a virgin and a first timer but please don’t overwhelm the website with explanations!!! In fact Smurf is an experienced hasher although first time with Hills Hash. She’d hitched a ride with Franger, will we see her again?
Charges
The monk took over and charged Cow Pat for being Hash Crash although even she admitted there wasn’t much blood.
We then segued on to a re-hash of the fence-climbing, rabid Rottweiler incident for which Downhill and Smurf were called on to take a DD. After being accused of misleading the pack over the fence on to the private property, maybe we won’t see Smurf again.
Franger charged Skippy for nearly bowling him over and there was mention of short cutting.
GPS charged Aarfabithore (sp?) and 72 Black Rubber Dildo (don’t blame me, I didn’t choose their names) with sex in the circle so at least he’d moved on from virgins.
General Business:
GPS is next week’s hare and the location will be Blackboy Hill, Greenmount. Please note, it’s a lingerie run so a chance to show off your elegant nightwear.
Thanks once again to Pink Bits for deputising for me for the past two weeks.
Rock Bottom
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run 2100 – 29 January 2023
Hares: Cowpat & Blowfly
A somewhat interesting run this week as there was a large contingent of Freo Hashers invading Hills Hash ! We were very pleased to see them and welcomed them on a particularly humid, muggy day on the banks of the Helena River. Cowpat and Blowfly were the Hares and were invited to give the chalk talk. That too was somewhat confusing as a plethora of paraphernalia was displayed that had been used to mark the trail .... Runners and walkers split off in two directions, the horn was heard just faintly for a few minutes as walkers sauntered along a very pleasant trail by the river ... a swim was SO tempting ??? GOSH !!!
It was not a good day for picking up the pace and eventually everyone returned to the start (looking a bit hot and bothered) for a refreshing beverage ...
Once GPS called the circle, we had the run analyzed and given a good rating ! We welcomed a few *long-time-no-see's* and presented Madonna with his 700 Foot -at last- !
The RA was again hard pressed to have any charges herself but there were numerous from the floor to keep her busy - There was much mirth about the *Babes in Bikinis* along the trail (reminiscent of *Nudes on the Rocks*) Dripper was looking too much .....
There was a moment when Pick Up Chick managed to throw a cool drink at GPS (horror - AT GPS OUR ESTEEMED GM ??? ) It was so funny that we had a re-enactment ...... you had to be there !
Leapfrog charged Passiona for lousy driving causing their dog to gravelly injure her ... Again, you had to be there !
There were a number of other charges but as the heat had got to me and I was somewhat delirious, I can't recall ...
We eventually sang the song with gusto and went off in search of air conditioning !
On On
Pink Bits (Rock Bottom back next week)
Next week's run: Parkerville Hall, Seaborne St Parkerville
Hare: El Keeno
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Run: 2099 - 22 January 2023
A very Special Boutique Run !
While Rock Bottom & Crusher are on secret Hashing business, Pink Bits will try to emulate the excellent run reports by Rock Bottom !
Not a big turnout as the day was very HOT & the venue was changed to the Kookaburra Outdoor Cinema car park in the vicinity of Mundaring Weir. This meant no dogs !
Still the usual suspects milled about sheepishly considering a hot run/walk - groan !
The special Hare was Leapfrog as this was her birthday "Just Desserts" run. She was ably assisted by Passiona. The chalk talk was short and to the point - a short walk close to the poo tanks (What !) (mentioned to be 30 minutes!) but an average run (could be hours) !
We set off together till we came across W's for walkers and meandered down some lovely tracks - a bit up and down in parts but altogether very pleasant AND 30 mins on the dot ! The run was a tad more complicated with some significant uphills and a number of false trails and checks. Many red faces on return ....
Surprisingly, everyone got back to the start around the same time eager to enjoy all the smashing frog cakes, courtesy of DOSH and other sweet delicacies on offer.
GPS called order and we began the circle, welcoming 2 new runners - 72 inch Black Rubber Dildo & Aarfabitwhore (don't ask - they are Dildo and Harfwhore for short) Next the birthday girl was completely ignored and the hat went to *Downhill* as it was ACTUALLY his birthday on the day. Leapfrog was quite happy to share her celebrations as she is having a whole month of them ! WACUDA took centre stage and beautifully read out a special poem for her and DOSH presented her with an amazing "froggy" scarf ! So much celebration ..... it was starting to be overwhelming ....
Obviously the Hares were charged for setting the run (considered good by everyone) and a few other minor charges were handed out. However, we were waiting for the next exciting installment of this run - PIZZA
Passiona had been delegated as the delivery boy and soon arrived with numerous delish pizzas, quickly devoured by the starving pack.
A few Hashers were planning to see *Avatar* at the outdoor cinema so we sang the song and set off to the movie - (all 3 1/2 hours of it ... but it was very good !)
On On in celebration ...
Pink Bits xxx
Run: 2097 – 8 January 2023
Hares: Train Wreck and Shagged Out
Location: 33 Glebe Road, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty four plus two dogs even though it was a “please leave your dogs at home” occasion - see last week’s report. Oh well, never mind!
The Run
Train Wreck has tried to con us all before with his statements about the uphills cancelling out the downhills therefore basically a flat course but we are no longer fooled. There was not a flat piece of terrain to be seen within a 360 degree scan of the area. Having informed us it was a figure of eight course, off we went through winding lanes, bush paths and the railway reserve, briefly joined by a very handsome kangaroo which eventually decided our pace was far too slow so bounded off. Half way through we reached the drink stop which {hurrah! hurrah!) was at 33 Glebe Road. Although this was officially the mid point of the figure eight, did the hares really think the more canny amongst us were going to embark on another lap when we could just hang around home base helping ourselves to the contents of the esky? Some gallantly set off again but the more sensible chose to stay.
The Circle
A late start to the circle as the second lappers dribbled in over half an hour or so and Dosh set out the wrong way on a search party for Spot On who had found her own way back. Eventually the head count was complete so GPS kicked off by calling for a report on the run from Franger, who was fulsome in his praise – a fantastic run, brilliantly set, tricky checks… There was more but I couldn’t catch it all. I don’t know what Franger had been taking yesterday but I had the misfortune of sitting just in front of him and he didn’t stop talking during the whole circle.
The hares were called in for a DD which was accompanied by a nifty display of hip movement.
Charges
Side Saddle and Neil were interrogated about why they had been absent for so long – all Neil’s fault according to Side Saddle and he bravely took it on the chin.
Dosh summoned Spot On and Dripper into the circle for sporting new shoes, thus providing Spot On with the opportunity to demonstrate her polished technique of drinking from a shoe. She’s seen it all before!
Train Wreck and Shagged Out were hauled into the circle for another DD, apparently for deliberately losing Dosh. By this time Train Wreck had definitely been sampling too much of his drink stop port and lemonade mixture as he grabbed Shagged Out’s arm and performed a little dance to accompany his DD
This week’s Hash Crash was SNB who had been mauled on the ankle by his fearsome puppy.
El Keeno really should have more sense than to try to implicate Skippy for not blowing his horn loudly enough when he elected to follow the walkers’ trail rather than the running track.
We’ve had a slew of birthdays this month – Slippery Nuts last week, Leapfrog this week and Dripper next week then another celebration for Leapfrog in two weeks. Meanwhile she boasted of dragging Passiona up a mountain on the actual day.
Nobody had spotted the “deliberate” mistake in last week’s report so Rock Bottom scored a DD for being silly enough to own up.
General Business:
Next week’s run is being set by Dripper at Morgan John Morgan Park, Glen Forrest. Bring meat for a bbq. Leapfrog will supply home made bread, Dripper will bring his favorite potato salad, Little Weed will provide onions and THERE WILL BE CAKE for Dripper’s birthday.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2096 – 1 January 2023
Hare: Dosh
Location: End of Hill St, Gooseberry Hill
Head Count: Twenty five plus five dogs
The Run
Apologies from the hare that the walk was “only” three kms whereas the runners had six kms to cover. Given that we were on the edge of the escarpment, there were some steep ups and downs, compensated for by stunning views over the valley at the drink stop. The walkers got to the drink stop first and the runners trickled in at varying intervals but there were ample refreshments, including pre-mixed gin and tonics and small bottle of pink bubbles. Happy New Year everyone!
The Circle
GPS kicked off the first run of the year in customary paper tiger mode, “If you don’t all form a circle within three minutes, I’m going to get VERY angry” Just as well nobody takes him seriously. He then summoned Dave the Pom to explain why he had arrived so late. Dave tried to wriggle out of having a DD by explaining he was held up advertising this very run on the radio. Good try but nah, it didn’t work. Dosh was commended for setting a great walk, very scenic and Wacuda said he enjoyed the run. Given that he’s married to the hare what else could he say?
Charges
Dosh charged Dripper for being this week’s Hash Crash. He held up his bleeding arm for all to see but said he had no idea how it happened. “No sense, no feeling” is too obvious so I won’t say it.
Wacuda was charged for lingering at the drink stop, possibly with the intention of staying there until he had finished all the drinks but he was thwarted
Can anyone explain why Franger was offering to perform mouth-to-mouth and who was to be his victim/patient? I missed that point.
Flying Nun was charged on the lost property count.
Pink Bits faced a double charge; by Rock Bottom for suggesting her run reports were not always accurate (this amounts to heresy) and by Mental Disorder for checking the use by date on his dip before tasting it (this amounts to an obsession of some sort but I don’t know what).
D Cell commented on the awesome drink stop but didn’t seem to be able to distinguish a gin and tonic from water so Beau was summoned to be the taste tester and given a G & T as a DD.
Slippery Nuts was celebrating a birthday so after the circle we all ate cake. Happy birthday SN
Finally Big Boy was given an accolade for finishing the run ahead of Franger. Hooray for Big Boy, not that the hash is a race, of course it’s not!
General Business:
Next week’s run is being set by Train Wreck and Shagged Out at 33 Glebe Rd, Darlington. It will be a home run so no dogs please.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2095 – 18 December 2022
Hare: Crusher
Location: 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Thirty four plus three dogs
The Run
A cast of thousands turned up for our Christmas bash – well, actually thirty four but close enough to thousands, give or take a few. In true festive season spirit, Crusher was in the mood to be kind so assured both runners and walkers the trail was not too long and went through the burbs of Kalamunda, therefore mostly on footpaths. With the promise of a drink stop to quench their thirst on a warm day, off they went. The drink stop offered both alcoholic and non-alcoholic mojitos which disappeared so quickly I really should have used the whole bottle of rum.
The Circle
Kindness must be contagious because the GM announced we could all sit for the circle. Crusher and Rock Bottom were summoned for a DD for setting the hash and for hosting the Christmas celebration.
Charges
Dosh declared she would keep the circle short because a feast was awaiting so initially picked on GPS for sporting a “Bah humbug” shirt in classic Scrooge Christmas misery, not to be mistaken for “Be humble”. GPS humble? Not likely.
Rock Bottom was awarded another DD for fielding numerous inquiries about what to bring and also for forgetting her own address! Leapfrog then leapt to the fore with potted grevilleas for Dosh and Rock Bottom. So much gratitude, we think we’ll offer again next year.
Dosh was having a shoe fetish. She summoned Big Boy to down a drink for having new shoes (I think) and El Keeno who wrapped up one of his shoes and put it under the tree along with the more standard presents.
Pick up Chick then charged Franger for mistaking dog biscuits for people food and Pick up Chick was commended for picking up a scooter. Meanwhile Train Wreck was cavorting around in a full body covering spiderman-style outfit and was called upon to demonstrate how to drink when you don’t have a mouth cavity. Things were getting out of hand, time to move on to the serious business of gift distribution
General Business:
After all the Christmas gifts were claimed we all got stuck into vast amounts of food and enjoyed a feast including half a pig that only just fitted into our oven. Thank you everyone for your food contributions.
There will be no run on Christmas Day so our next hash will be on New Year’s Day, 1 January 2023, starting at 5pm. The location is the end of Hill St, Gooseberry Hill and the hare will be Dosh
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2094 – 11 December 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Lower car park, Mundaring shopping centre
Head Count: Thirty one plus four dogs
The Run
El Keeno’s obsession with ambience was demonstrated in his choice of location for this hash. Where is your evidence I hear you say? Well, we gathered in the lower carpark behind the Mundaring shopping centre. What could be a more salubrious site! As we assembled, we dodged a few shoppers on their way in and out and stared into the delivery jaws of Oz Post and Coles and then got going. Okay, so I’m trying to dodge the fact that I did neither the run nor the walk owing to the new hip not quite being fit for purpose yet so I can’t say much about the trail. However, there was the choice of a short walk and a long walk as well as the run. With the exception of Crusher and me, the other 29 hashers set off to cross the highway, traverse the park and report back that it was, as always, a well-set course. El Keeno has certainly had plenty of practice this year. Crusher and I took Lily, who joined the canine set for the first time, for a short walk.
The Circle
After El Keeno was given the customary DD and commended for setting a hash on his daughter’s birthday, the GM handed over to the Monk. Charges were as follows:
Charges
Dripper for his spectacular fall – as re-played most dramatically by Dosh, although the evidence of his injury was barely visible
Snake Charmer for keeping up with his dad, SNB and completing the whole run
LTNS – Red Dwarf and Cow Pat
El Keeno charged Train Wreck for asking which way the trail went
Pink Bits charged El Keeno for the heinous crime of marking the trail on the left. Look, we need to make allowances for PB, she only flew in from Mauritius four hours before the start of the hash.
And finally, I got a bit lost at the various aspersions cast by some of the rev head blokes (GPS, Franger and Downhill) about gadgets on cars. I know, it’s a man thing but eventually Passiona took the medicine for having the car with the most gadgets.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be our Christmas hash at Crusher and Rock Bottom’s house, 17 Sampson road, Kalamunda. Please note: starting time is 4pm, allowing time for more revelry. Some food will be provided and various hashers have already committed to bringing a salad or a dessert but if this does not include you, then please bring some nibbles or another food contribution as well as a wrapped gift to put under the tree.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2093 – 4 December 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: 53 Swan Road, Guildford
Head Count: Thirty eight plus 3 dogs
The Run
Rock Bottom is recovering from her hip replacement surgery so Crusher is your stand in scribe. This run was promoted to celebrate an important day for USA citizens and to send off Skippy who is off to that great country. The theme was to be red, white and blue. That was a bit disappointing as only Train Wreck and Pick-up-Chick found suitable clothing. The hare sent off the walkers and runners in different directions. The runners were warned that if they wanted to do a shorter run they would need to swim the river. The hare had organized a helper to transport shoes across the river. As I was not there I can’t say how many did the swim crossing. Some who took the dip commented on how they were rejuvenated afterwards. Do you think Skippy was trying to get the run of the year gong?
The Circle
The GM called for a circle, but this was quickly cancelled when it became clear that the food supplied by the hare was ready. We all had buns and beef patties. After we were well fed the circle was called. A short affair tonight
Charges
Scooby Doo was called out for being a long-time-no-see. The Nun was called in to do her bit. The boat person received a drink for his efforts. Two of the children who have been present in recent weeks were named. Welcome to Ball Boy and Smarty Pants. Franger was charged for trying to photograph someone with their pants down. At this stage it was realized that White Pointer had returned after about four months away in the eastern states and he had a drink for being a long-time-no-see. Finally Pick up Chick wasted her drink when charged for being on time for once.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be from the lower Coles car park in Mundaring. Hare is El Keeno.
Crusher standing in for Rock Bottom
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Run: 2092 - 27 November 2022
Hare: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Rd, Walliston
Head Count: Thirty three plus four dogs
The Run
Who could have set this exemplar of a hash trail? You had it all – a great location, well marked walkers’ and runners’ trails, lots of bush tracks, just the right length and a well-placed drink stop. Oops, it was Crusher and me! I could be unfairly accused of bias here so perhaps had better tone it down a bit. Okay, okay so there were lots of flies (not our fault), hardly any hills, not enough checks on the run, not enough parking so that people had to leave their cars on the side of the road and we ran out of beer at the drink stop. Does that make this report more balanced? I hope so. We did have to re-set some of the walk after the local quad bike gang got to work on our big W’s and obliterated them.
The Circle
To kick off the proceedings, Mini Disorder was almost charged for sitting on a chair during the circle but how do you charge a dog?
Crusher and Rock Bottom were summoned for a thank you drink for stepping in to set this hash at short notice.
GPS called our visitors, Eileen and Gordon into the circle for a welcome drink. They are friends of Leapfrog and Passiona from way back in Papua New Guinea.
Topless was awarded a badge for 25 runs and advised to get a life.
LTNS: Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire have returned from Cambodia sporting very colourful T shirts.
GPS then called on the RA to do her bit.
Other Charges
Hash Crash: Mental and Crusher shared the honour with Crusher providing a 500 word dissertation on how he fell while checking the trail yesterday morning. They were photographed wearing silly hats
Wisecrack admitted to having had a birthday but didn’t bring a cake. Maybe next week, it’s never too late for cake.
Pick up Chick and Jackson were called out for sporting new shoes and both wimped out of getting their shoes wet.
Skippy was charged for missing the hash last week owing to a hangover from the previous evening. He said he wasn’t hungover because he was still drinking. Such admirable stamina!
Wisecrack and Jackson were charged for competitive running
Downhill was charged for cruising up and down the road looking for the run site and arriving late.
And finally, Rock Bottom was presented with a bunch of flowers and good wishes for her surgery this coming week. Thank you all.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be at Skippy’s house, 53 Swan St, Guildford. He is putting on a bbq for us before he heads off to the USA for a few (?) weeks. Food contributions, eg salads and birthday cake welcome
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2091 - 20 November 2022
Hare: Downhill
Location: Adachi Park, Belmont
Head Count: Twenty plus three dogs
The Run
So who arranged for the burnt out, no doubt stolen, wreck of a car to be strategically placed at the start of the run? Was it accidental or does our hare have mafia connections? Best not to ask I suggest. After the briefing, we set off on our island adventure. This was new territory for most of us as we scrutinised one after another upmarket residence hoping to see some sign of occupancy. Alas there was none, only a couple of walkers, one runner, one cyclist and a rat making a meal of the flour dot which was meant to be marking our trail. At the drink stop Downhill was sporting an orange hibiscus behind his ear to accord with the Island theme of his trail. After refreshments we crossed a bridge on to the island and wandered around in the wilderness trying to find the trail which I suspect either a member of the rival clan had sabotaged by rubbing out all the dots or the extended family of our rat friend had eaten. Nevertheless we persevered and all eventually returned to base, the last being Rubber Duckie who lingered behind to take photos.
The Circle
The runners thought it was an excellent trail, possibly run of the year. GPS forgot to ask the walkers for their opinion because there was urgent business. Rock Bottom informed the group that the designated hares for next week are unable to set the run so asked for volunteers at short notice.
Charges
The RA charged Fire Extinguisher for being a LTNS
Carry over DD for Pole Dancer for nicking off from El Keeno’s run and causing panic among the ranks
Flying Nun was charged for fraternising with the rodent.
Little Weed unfortunately dropped her phone twice and managed to break it.
Biggus Dickus went to extreme lengths to avoid having to do the hash by having his toe amputated. Perhaps not an amputation but some sort of medical intervention.
Rubber Duckie was called out for his photographic efforts.
Disclaimer
The scribe takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this report. Gross exaggerations, distortion of the facts, deliberate and accidental errors, omissions and scurrilous accusations are all allowable and even encouraged if they make for more entertaining reading.
General Business:
Rock Bottom and Crusher will set next week’s run from Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Road, Walliston. You probably know it, we’ve been there before but it’s a safe bet in an emergency.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2090 - 13 November 2022
Hare: Dripper
Location: Helena Valley primary school
Head Count: Thirty one plus three dogs or rather, two dogs and one ferret.
The Run
Whereas El Keeno got the gong for the shortest briefing last week, surely Dripper deserves an award for the longest, something along the lines of: “This probably won’t qualify for the top run of the year award but …….. (there was more) and you have a choice of three walks: you can just go up and down the road or take the WE (walk extension) route or the WC (walk challenge) route. And there’s a drink stop but it’s back here” Too many choices so we just got going. I think I took the WC option, or was it the WE? Anyway, it was well marked with good trails, a suitable distance and we eventually all returned although somewhat spread out.
The Circle
False modesty on Dripper’s part since El Keeno said he loved every second of the run and Wise Crack reported that it was an amazing walk during which she, or the trail reached a climax (not sure which and I think we’ll pursue the matter no further). Little Weed then wanted to produce photographic evidence of a horse and a donkey to share with us and I suggest this is a case of whatever turns you on!
GPS, who probably shouldn’t consider a change of career in retail, tried to flog some T shirts with no success so settled for calling Biggus Dickus and Hawkeye into the circle for a LTNS drink. Slippery Nuts, who needs to get a life was awarded a badge for completing 50 hashes in about the same number of weeks. GPS then suggested Topless’s mother’s dog Pearl who was making her first appearance should be named Ferret but the jury is still out on that one.
Other Charges
El Keeno charged Dosh and Spot On for sprinting to the finish
Passiona objected to the charge of short cutting but was overruled
Pole Dancer and Belt Up will score a DD when next they appear for nicking off last week and causing panic among the ranks
Downhill expressed concern that he was recorded in last week’s report as having behaved brutally whereas he claims he was the brutalee rather than the brutaliser. He fears this might affect his job prospects. Rock Bottom assured him she would provide a reference should the need arise.
Disclaimer
The scribe takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this report. Gross exaggerations, distortion of the facts, deliberate and accidental errors, omissions and scurrilous accusations are all allowable and yay, even encouraged if they make for more entertaining reading.
General Business:
Downhill will set next week’s run at Adachi Park in Belmont.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2089 - 6 November 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Pechey Road, Jane Brook
Head Count: Twenty two plus Sophie who, in spite of appearances, isn’t a dog because dogs are not allowed in national parks.
The Run
Our first 5pm start for the season and you know I’m going to talk about insects, namely ants and flies because the place was crawling and (in the case of flies) buzzing with them. Ants outnumbered the flies by about 1,000 to one but the flies were more persistent and much more annoying. Not the hare’s fault, it’s that time of year. El Keeno set us off with the briefest briefing of all time, “The trail is that way” and off we went on a hilly, very well marked trail which brought us all back to base in good time.
The Circle
Flying Nun was called upon to give her verdict on the walk and have a birthday drink. She mentioned the ants. El Keeno had the hare’s mandatory DD and declared, with a total lack of bias, that the run was excellent. This was endorsed by Dosh who commented that there more false trails and checks than dots which indicates a very well-marked course.
Dosh blamed Big Boy for their last-minute arrival owing to his spending more than 10 minutes trying to find his shoes. Otherwise, she thought we were all too well-behaved to be charged for any misdemeanours. We will have to try harder.
Further charges were:
Rock Bottom on Hot Rod for collecting rubbish along the way and doing Little Weed out of a job.
Leap Frog charged Downhill for brutality, something to do with a walking stick. Unfortunately my pen ran out of ink so I don’t have a record of the details but I suspect he is being unfairly maligned. You’d think Downhill had never had a DD before because he took a very long time to drink it, blaming his sensitive teeth. Little Weed was summoned to show him how which ended in Dripper pouring the remains of her drink over her head – most ungentlemanly behaviour!
General Business:
GPS had a brain snap and moved General Business to the start of the circle but I’m putting it here, in its rightful place. Dripper is setting our next run which will be at the Helena Valley primary school.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2088 - 30 October 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: Sawyers Valley Tavern, Great Eastern Highway, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty six plus three dogs
The Run
We all gathered for the mandatory special run photograph showing off Halloween creations from our dressing up boxes or, more likely, the local crap shop. Then we were off and away. We had the choice of a long, short walk, a long, long walk and a long run (10.8 kms) which is pretty much what we expect from Skippy so he is nothing if not consistent. It was also very well marked on a fast, flat trail with a well-stocked esky at the drink stop to lubricate us for the home trail. A twice nifty crossing of Gt Eastern Highway added a touch of excitement but hey, we’re experienced traffic dodgers!
The Circle
After calling on the hare to take his medicine GPS summoned Angelina into the circle. Angelina is {or was) a virgin. Rubber Duckie had brought her along, no idea where he found a member of an endangered species, he didn’t let on.
The RA then called on Passiona for falling over and grazing his head and knee as well as Leapfrog whose immediate reaction when he fell was to be grateful he hadn’t torn the black lacey flares she’d insisted he wear. Compassion is alive and well in the Woodward family.
Slippery Nuts scored an accolade for being the only hasher to dress for the weather then blew it when spotted holding hands with Pink Bits at the drink stop.
Further charges were:
Wacuda on Big Boy for having a birthday last week.
Mental Disorder, once again in full flight, charged Hot Rod for running in front of the speed camera hoping to have his speed registered. A forlorn hope given that Hot Rod is not super speedy and the minimum speed registered is apparently 60kph, or so Mental tells us.
Pink Bits announced she was laying two in absentia charges; one on El Keeno for making feeble excuses – too cold to come to the hash and anyway, he was busy making scones and the other on Maid Muffin who moved into a retirement village a month ago but decided to miss the hash in favour of the thirtieth anniversary of the opening of the village.
General Business:
El Keeno is setting next week’s run in Pechey Road, Jane Brook. See the website for details. Please note, we are moving to summertime and will start at 5pm.
After the song a whole bunch of us went to the tavern for a curry dinner.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2087 - 23 October 2022
Hare: GPS
Location: 15 Conigrave Place, Canning Vale
Head Count: Twenty eight plus three dogs
The Run
To rain or not to rain? That was the question. Grand Master GPS had warned us it always rains on his hashes. During the early afternoon it did rain and then it didn’t and so we set off in a poor excuse for a drizzle which quickly petered out after which we had fine weather. So, his unbroken record has now been broken. The walkers ambled through the burbs and parks of Canning Vale with the main excitement being a death-defying sprint across Nicholson Rd. The course for the runners was a flat but fast 8km which sorted out the speedy from the not so fast.
The Circle
GPS apologized for not being able to summon the rain, just so he could make us all miserable. Dripper and Passiona were both enthusiastic about the run and Sheep Shunter informed us that the walk measured 3.78kms. It’s important to be accurate about these things.
The RA called in our visitor Hazukashi from Hawaii to give an account of himself. Being a man of few words, he summed it up by saying he was travelling the world. She then segued on to the LTNS – Yo, a representative from the Wisecrack/Spackle family and Rock Bottom for dodging the DD last week and being stupid enough to boast about it in the run report.
Further charges were:
Mental Disorder charged Pink Bits for temporarily forgetting Slippery Nuts’ name and misspelling it in the book. A bit harsh I thought, after all they’ve only been an item for 19
months!
Mental then charged Leap Frog for making a suggestive comment about getting between Dripper’s legs. Let’s not pursue that one! The moral of this story is keep away from Mental, he’s too observant.
Franger was dobbed in for leaning
Train Wreck, in an admirable gesture of loyalty to his spouse, charged Shagged Out for front running and gesticulating (I think). I was distracted by contemplating Shagged Out’s revenge.
GPS completed his service to hashing by feeding us all. Many thanks GPS.
General Business:
Skippy is the hare for next week. The theme is Halloween so delve into your dress up box. The location is the Swan Valley Tavern and following the circle all are invited to the pub for a curry dinner.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2086 - 16 October 2022
Hares: Pink Bits, Slippery Nuts and Dripper
Location: Glen Forrest Train Park
Head Count: Thirty-three plus three dogs
The Run
We’re back and many thanks to Pink Bits for filling in as scribe and trail honcho during my absence. A timely return since it was Pink Bits’ birthday run so she could just chill out and enjoy herself without trying to press gang people to set runs. She and her cohorts set long trails, no doubt encouraging us to work up an appetite for Light My Fire’s excellent green chicken curry. Some of us were off to a slow start as Maid Muffin needed a crane and a winch to haul her up a slippery gravel slope but in the absence of either, many hands plus useful advice from Teflon did the trick. After that we ambled along roads, through bush tracks and grassy fields to arrive at the home of Belt Up and Pole Dancer for celebratory drinks – at least some of us did, a few missed the DS sign.
The Circle
Pink Bits, who has been celebrating all week was awarded yet another DD and well, why not? Maid Muffin commented on her elegant ascent of the slippery slope but really, she could have just walked up the road. Train Wreck said it was a long run, uphill overall. The RA took over and called out the LTNS: Free Beer and Madonna. Crusher and Rock Bottom managed not to be seen.
Further charges were:
Pink Bits charged Passiona for a website malfunction. In Passiona’s defence he said she needs to learn how to press F5
Train Wreck charged El Keeno for the most impressive shortcut ever. He wasn’t spotted between the 300m and 8km part of the run. A commendable effort even by the standards of the master short cutter.
General Business: Next week’s run is a home run being set by GPS. If you can’t manage Sunday, he’s hosting the same hash trail on Tuesday and Wednesday next week. He’s a a Master of Economy! Bring a bowl, he’s providing food.
The we all tucked into the curry and birthday cake.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2084 - 2 October 2022
El Keeno is Supreemo !
Good weather had a large pack assembling at the chosen venue. Of course, the conversation was about the fact that we were quite high up so what goes up must come down and up again and so on ... Ah well, when the Hare gave the run instructions, we were *advised* that the WORST WORST bit was right at the start - and so it was. The runners took off at the rate of knots having been *advised* that it was an A - B run & they would have a drink stop and a lift back to the start ! ! ! Eh ?
The walk was a bit steep to begin with but proved delightful later on ... the wildflowers were in abundance so made for interesting spotting. We were back after a short-ish walk. Not much later, the runners arrived back in their limo to a resounding round of applause - that is some of them. Skippy & Trainwreck decided to run back after all. (try hards !) Skippy is in training for a marathon so we'll let him off ....
GPS called the circle and the run/walk was deemed very good and a smiling El Keeno got his down-down. He was to receive numerous charges today. The RA took over and had a few charges for ... EK of course, and for Dripper who got the lame duck award. As he said, "Dripping but not in a usual way" There were a number of long-time-no-sees and we had to replenish the drinks tray as the charges came thick and fast ! So many I can't remember them ....
There were a few local residents who drove past us with *sour* looks on their faces, but they didn't know that we are a happy, cheery group enjoying some exercise, fresh air, nature and refreshments !
We sang the song in full voice and safely departed .... (no nose bleeds)
On On
Pink Bits xxx (still waiting for evidence of return of On-Sec from the Motherland)
Hares: Train Wreck and Shagged Out
Location: 33 Glebe Road, Darlington
Head Count: Twenty four plus two dogs even though it was a “please leave your dogs at home” occasion - see last week’s report. Oh well, never mind!
The Run
Train Wreck has tried to con us all before with his statements about the uphills cancelling out the downhills therefore basically a flat course but we are no longer fooled. There was not a flat piece of terrain to be seen within a 360 degree scan of the area. Having informed us it was a figure of eight course, off we went through winding lanes, bush paths and the railway reserve, briefly joined by a very handsome kangaroo which eventually decided our pace was far too slow so bounded off. Half way through we reached the drink stop which {hurrah! hurrah!) was at 33 Glebe Road. Although this was officially the mid point of the figure eight, did the hares really think the more canny amongst us were going to embark on another lap when we could just hang around home base helping ourselves to the contents of the esky? Some gallantly set off again but the more sensible chose to stay.
The Circle
A late start to the circle as the second lappers dribbled in over half an hour or so and Dosh set out the wrong way on a search party for Spot On who had found her own way back. Eventually the head count was complete so GPS kicked off by calling for a report on the run from Franger, who was fulsome in his praise – a fantastic run, brilliantly set, tricky checks… There was more but I couldn’t catch it all. I don’t know what Franger had been taking yesterday but I had the misfortune of sitting just in front of him and he didn’t stop talking during the whole circle.
The hares were called in for a DD which was accompanied by a nifty display of hip movement.
Charges
Side Saddle and Neil were interrogated about why they had been absent for so long – all Neil’s fault according to Side Saddle and he bravely took it on the chin.
Dosh summoned Spot On and Dripper into the circle for sporting new shoes, thus providing Spot On with the opportunity to demonstrate her polished technique of drinking from a shoe. She’s seen it all before!
Train Wreck and Shagged Out were hauled into the circle for another DD, apparently for deliberately losing Dosh. By this time Train Wreck had definitely been sampling too much of his drink stop port and lemonade mixture as he grabbed Shagged Out’s arm and performed a little dance to accompany his DD
This week’s Hash Crash was SNB who had been mauled on the ankle by his fearsome puppy.
El Keeno really should have more sense than to try to implicate Skippy for not blowing his horn loudly enough when he elected to follow the walkers’ trail rather than the running track.
We’ve had a slew of birthdays this month – Slippery Nuts last week, Leapfrog this week and Dripper next week then another celebration for Leapfrog in two weeks. Meanwhile she boasted of dragging Passiona up a mountain on the actual day.
Nobody had spotted the “deliberate” mistake in last week’s report so Rock Bottom scored a DD for being silly enough to own up.
General Business:
Next week’s run is being set by Dripper at Morgan John Morgan Park, Glen Forrest. Bring meat for a bbq. Leapfrog will supply home made bread, Dripper will bring his favorite potato salad, Little Weed will provide onions and THERE WILL BE CAKE for Dripper’s birthday.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2096 – 1 January 2023
Hare: Dosh
Location: End of Hill St, Gooseberry Hill
Head Count: Twenty five plus five dogs
The Run
Apologies from the hare that the walk was “only” three kms whereas the runners had six kms to cover. Given that we were on the edge of the escarpment, there were some steep ups and downs, compensated for by stunning views over the valley at the drink stop. The walkers got to the drink stop first and the runners trickled in at varying intervals but there were ample refreshments, including pre-mixed gin and tonics and small bottle of pink bubbles. Happy New Year everyone!
The Circle
GPS kicked off the first run of the year in customary paper tiger mode, “If you don’t all form a circle within three minutes, I’m going to get VERY angry” Just as well nobody takes him seriously. He then summoned Dave the Pom to explain why he had arrived so late. Dave tried to wriggle out of having a DD by explaining he was held up advertising this very run on the radio. Good try but nah, it didn’t work. Dosh was commended for setting a great walk, very scenic and Wacuda said he enjoyed the run. Given that he’s married to the hare what else could he say?
Charges
Dosh charged Dripper for being this week’s Hash Crash. He held up his bleeding arm for all to see but said he had no idea how it happened. “No sense, no feeling” is too obvious so I won’t say it.
Wacuda was charged for lingering at the drink stop, possibly with the intention of staying there until he had finished all the drinks but he was thwarted
Can anyone explain why Franger was offering to perform mouth-to-mouth and who was to be his victim/patient? I missed that point.
Flying Nun was charged on the lost property count.
Pink Bits faced a double charge; by Rock Bottom for suggesting her run reports were not always accurate (this amounts to heresy) and by Mental Disorder for checking the use by date on his dip before tasting it (this amounts to an obsession of some sort but I don’t know what).
D Cell commented on the awesome drink stop but didn’t seem to be able to distinguish a gin and tonic from water so Beau was summoned to be the taste tester and given a G & T as a DD.
Slippery Nuts was celebrating a birthday so after the circle we all ate cake. Happy birthday SN
Finally Big Boy was given an accolade for finishing the run ahead of Franger. Hooray for Big Boy, not that the hash is a race, of course it’s not!
General Business:
Next week’s run is being set by Train Wreck and Shagged Out at 33 Glebe Rd, Darlington. It will be a home run so no dogs please.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2095 – 18 December 2022
Hare: Crusher
Location: 17 Sampson Road, Kalamunda
Head Count: Thirty four plus three dogs
The Run
A cast of thousands turned up for our Christmas bash – well, actually thirty four but close enough to thousands, give or take a few. In true festive season spirit, Crusher was in the mood to be kind so assured both runners and walkers the trail was not too long and went through the burbs of Kalamunda, therefore mostly on footpaths. With the promise of a drink stop to quench their thirst on a warm day, off they went. The drink stop offered both alcoholic and non-alcoholic mojitos which disappeared so quickly I really should have used the whole bottle of rum.
The Circle
Kindness must be contagious because the GM announced we could all sit for the circle. Crusher and Rock Bottom were summoned for a DD for setting the hash and for hosting the Christmas celebration.
Charges
Dosh declared she would keep the circle short because a feast was awaiting so initially picked on GPS for sporting a “Bah humbug” shirt in classic Scrooge Christmas misery, not to be mistaken for “Be humble”. GPS humble? Not likely.
Rock Bottom was awarded another DD for fielding numerous inquiries about what to bring and also for forgetting her own address! Leapfrog then leapt to the fore with potted grevilleas for Dosh and Rock Bottom. So much gratitude, we think we’ll offer again next year.
Dosh was having a shoe fetish. She summoned Big Boy to down a drink for having new shoes (I think) and El Keeno who wrapped up one of his shoes and put it under the tree along with the more standard presents.
Pick up Chick then charged Franger for mistaking dog biscuits for people food and Pick up Chick was commended for picking up a scooter. Meanwhile Train Wreck was cavorting around in a full body covering spiderman-style outfit and was called upon to demonstrate how to drink when you don’t have a mouth cavity. Things were getting out of hand, time to move on to the serious business of gift distribution
General Business:
After all the Christmas gifts were claimed we all got stuck into vast amounts of food and enjoyed a feast including half a pig that only just fitted into our oven. Thank you everyone for your food contributions.
There will be no run on Christmas Day so our next hash will be on New Year’s Day, 1 January 2023, starting at 5pm. The location is the end of Hill St, Gooseberry Hill and the hare will be Dosh
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2094 – 11 December 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Lower car park, Mundaring shopping centre
Head Count: Thirty one plus four dogs
The Run
El Keeno’s obsession with ambience was demonstrated in his choice of location for this hash. Where is your evidence I hear you say? Well, we gathered in the lower carpark behind the Mundaring shopping centre. What could be a more salubrious site! As we assembled, we dodged a few shoppers on their way in and out and stared into the delivery jaws of Oz Post and Coles and then got going. Okay, so I’m trying to dodge the fact that I did neither the run nor the walk owing to the new hip not quite being fit for purpose yet so I can’t say much about the trail. However, there was the choice of a short walk and a long walk as well as the run. With the exception of Crusher and me, the other 29 hashers set off to cross the highway, traverse the park and report back that it was, as always, a well-set course. El Keeno has certainly had plenty of practice this year. Crusher and I took Lily, who joined the canine set for the first time, for a short walk.
The Circle
After El Keeno was given the customary DD and commended for setting a hash on his daughter’s birthday, the GM handed over to the Monk. Charges were as follows:
Charges
Dripper for his spectacular fall – as re-played most dramatically by Dosh, although the evidence of his injury was barely visible
Snake Charmer for keeping up with his dad, SNB and completing the whole run
LTNS – Red Dwarf and Cow Pat
El Keeno charged Train Wreck for asking which way the trail went
Pink Bits charged El Keeno for the heinous crime of marking the trail on the left. Look, we need to make allowances for PB, she only flew in from Mauritius four hours before the start of the hash.
And finally, I got a bit lost at the various aspersions cast by some of the rev head blokes (GPS, Franger and Downhill) about gadgets on cars. I know, it’s a man thing but eventually Passiona took the medicine for having the car with the most gadgets.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be our Christmas hash at Crusher and Rock Bottom’s house, 17 Sampson road, Kalamunda. Please note: starting time is 4pm, allowing time for more revelry. Some food will be provided and various hashers have already committed to bringing a salad or a dessert but if this does not include you, then please bring some nibbles or another food contribution as well as a wrapped gift to put under the tree.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2093 – 4 December 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: 53 Swan Road, Guildford
Head Count: Thirty eight plus 3 dogs
The Run
Rock Bottom is recovering from her hip replacement surgery so Crusher is your stand in scribe. This run was promoted to celebrate an important day for USA citizens and to send off Skippy who is off to that great country. The theme was to be red, white and blue. That was a bit disappointing as only Train Wreck and Pick-up-Chick found suitable clothing. The hare sent off the walkers and runners in different directions. The runners were warned that if they wanted to do a shorter run they would need to swim the river. The hare had organized a helper to transport shoes across the river. As I was not there I can’t say how many did the swim crossing. Some who took the dip commented on how they were rejuvenated afterwards. Do you think Skippy was trying to get the run of the year gong?
The Circle
The GM called for a circle, but this was quickly cancelled when it became clear that the food supplied by the hare was ready. We all had buns and beef patties. After we were well fed the circle was called. A short affair tonight
Charges
Scooby Doo was called out for being a long-time-no-see. The Nun was called in to do her bit. The boat person received a drink for his efforts. Two of the children who have been present in recent weeks were named. Welcome to Ball Boy and Smarty Pants. Franger was charged for trying to photograph someone with their pants down. At this stage it was realized that White Pointer had returned after about four months away in the eastern states and he had a drink for being a long-time-no-see. Finally Pick up Chick wasted her drink when charged for being on time for once.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be from the lower Coles car park in Mundaring. Hare is El Keeno.
Crusher standing in for Rock Bottom
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Run: 2092 - 27 November 2022
Hare: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Rd, Walliston
Head Count: Thirty three plus four dogs
The Run
Who could have set this exemplar of a hash trail? You had it all – a great location, well marked walkers’ and runners’ trails, lots of bush tracks, just the right length and a well-placed drink stop. Oops, it was Crusher and me! I could be unfairly accused of bias here so perhaps had better tone it down a bit. Okay, okay so there were lots of flies (not our fault), hardly any hills, not enough checks on the run, not enough parking so that people had to leave their cars on the side of the road and we ran out of beer at the drink stop. Does that make this report more balanced? I hope so. We did have to re-set some of the walk after the local quad bike gang got to work on our big W’s and obliterated them.
The Circle
To kick off the proceedings, Mini Disorder was almost charged for sitting on a chair during the circle but how do you charge a dog?
Crusher and Rock Bottom were summoned for a thank you drink for stepping in to set this hash at short notice.
GPS called our visitors, Eileen and Gordon into the circle for a welcome drink. They are friends of Leapfrog and Passiona from way back in Papua New Guinea.
Topless was awarded a badge for 25 runs and advised to get a life.
LTNS: Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire have returned from Cambodia sporting very colourful T shirts.
GPS then called on the RA to do her bit.
Other Charges
Hash Crash: Mental and Crusher shared the honour with Crusher providing a 500 word dissertation on how he fell while checking the trail yesterday morning. They were photographed wearing silly hats
Wisecrack admitted to having had a birthday but didn’t bring a cake. Maybe next week, it’s never too late for cake.
Pick up Chick and Jackson were called out for sporting new shoes and both wimped out of getting their shoes wet.
Skippy was charged for missing the hash last week owing to a hangover from the previous evening. He said he wasn’t hungover because he was still drinking. Such admirable stamina!
Wisecrack and Jackson were charged for competitive running
Downhill was charged for cruising up and down the road looking for the run site and arriving late.
And finally, Rock Bottom was presented with a bunch of flowers and good wishes for her surgery this coming week. Thank you all.
General Business:
Next week’s run will be at Skippy’s house, 53 Swan St, Guildford. He is putting on a bbq for us before he heads off to the USA for a few (?) weeks. Food contributions, eg salads and birthday cake welcome
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2091 - 20 November 2022
Hare: Downhill
Location: Adachi Park, Belmont
Head Count: Twenty plus three dogs
The Run
So who arranged for the burnt out, no doubt stolen, wreck of a car to be strategically placed at the start of the run? Was it accidental or does our hare have mafia connections? Best not to ask I suggest. After the briefing, we set off on our island adventure. This was new territory for most of us as we scrutinised one after another upmarket residence hoping to see some sign of occupancy. Alas there was none, only a couple of walkers, one runner, one cyclist and a rat making a meal of the flour dot which was meant to be marking our trail. At the drink stop Downhill was sporting an orange hibiscus behind his ear to accord with the Island theme of his trail. After refreshments we crossed a bridge on to the island and wandered around in the wilderness trying to find the trail which I suspect either a member of the rival clan had sabotaged by rubbing out all the dots or the extended family of our rat friend had eaten. Nevertheless we persevered and all eventually returned to base, the last being Rubber Duckie who lingered behind to take photos.
The Circle
The runners thought it was an excellent trail, possibly run of the year. GPS forgot to ask the walkers for their opinion because there was urgent business. Rock Bottom informed the group that the designated hares for next week are unable to set the run so asked for volunteers at short notice.
Charges
The RA charged Fire Extinguisher for being a LTNS
Carry over DD for Pole Dancer for nicking off from El Keeno’s run and causing panic among the ranks
Flying Nun was charged for fraternising with the rodent.
Little Weed unfortunately dropped her phone twice and managed to break it.
Biggus Dickus went to extreme lengths to avoid having to do the hash by having his toe amputated. Perhaps not an amputation but some sort of medical intervention.
Rubber Duckie was called out for his photographic efforts.
Disclaimer
The scribe takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this report. Gross exaggerations, distortion of the facts, deliberate and accidental errors, omissions and scurrilous accusations are all allowable and even encouraged if they make for more entertaining reading.
General Business:
Rock Bottom and Crusher will set next week’s run from Alan Anderson Park, Lawnbrook Road, Walliston. You probably know it, we’ve been there before but it’s a safe bet in an emergency.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2090 - 13 November 2022
Hare: Dripper
Location: Helena Valley primary school
Head Count: Thirty one plus three dogs or rather, two dogs and one ferret.
The Run
Whereas El Keeno got the gong for the shortest briefing last week, surely Dripper deserves an award for the longest, something along the lines of: “This probably won’t qualify for the top run of the year award but …….. (there was more) and you have a choice of three walks: you can just go up and down the road or take the WE (walk extension) route or the WC (walk challenge) route. And there’s a drink stop but it’s back here” Too many choices so we just got going. I think I took the WC option, or was it the WE? Anyway, it was well marked with good trails, a suitable distance and we eventually all returned although somewhat spread out.
The Circle
False modesty on Dripper’s part since El Keeno said he loved every second of the run and Wise Crack reported that it was an amazing walk during which she, or the trail reached a climax (not sure which and I think we’ll pursue the matter no further). Little Weed then wanted to produce photographic evidence of a horse and a donkey to share with us and I suggest this is a case of whatever turns you on!
GPS, who probably shouldn’t consider a change of career in retail, tried to flog some T shirts with no success so settled for calling Biggus Dickus and Hawkeye into the circle for a LTNS drink. Slippery Nuts, who needs to get a life was awarded a badge for completing 50 hashes in about the same number of weeks. GPS then suggested Topless’s mother’s dog Pearl who was making her first appearance should be named Ferret but the jury is still out on that one.
Other Charges
El Keeno charged Dosh and Spot On for sprinting to the finish
Passiona objected to the charge of short cutting but was overruled
Pole Dancer and Belt Up will score a DD when next they appear for nicking off last week and causing panic among the ranks
Downhill expressed concern that he was recorded in last week’s report as having behaved brutally whereas he claims he was the brutalee rather than the brutaliser. He fears this might affect his job prospects. Rock Bottom assured him she would provide a reference should the need arise.
Disclaimer
The scribe takes no responsibility for the accuracy of this report. Gross exaggerations, distortion of the facts, deliberate and accidental errors, omissions and scurrilous accusations are all allowable and yay, even encouraged if they make for more entertaining reading.
General Business:
Downhill will set next week’s run at Adachi Park in Belmont.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2089 - 6 November 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Pechey Road, Jane Brook
Head Count: Twenty two plus Sophie who, in spite of appearances, isn’t a dog because dogs are not allowed in national parks.
The Run
Our first 5pm start for the season and you know I’m going to talk about insects, namely ants and flies because the place was crawling and (in the case of flies) buzzing with them. Ants outnumbered the flies by about 1,000 to one but the flies were more persistent and much more annoying. Not the hare’s fault, it’s that time of year. El Keeno set us off with the briefest briefing of all time, “The trail is that way” and off we went on a hilly, very well marked trail which brought us all back to base in good time.
The Circle
Flying Nun was called upon to give her verdict on the walk and have a birthday drink. She mentioned the ants. El Keeno had the hare’s mandatory DD and declared, with a total lack of bias, that the run was excellent. This was endorsed by Dosh who commented that there more false trails and checks than dots which indicates a very well-marked course.
Dosh blamed Big Boy for their last-minute arrival owing to his spending more than 10 minutes trying to find his shoes. Otherwise, she thought we were all too well-behaved to be charged for any misdemeanours. We will have to try harder.
Further charges were:
Rock Bottom on Hot Rod for collecting rubbish along the way and doing Little Weed out of a job.
Leap Frog charged Downhill for brutality, something to do with a walking stick. Unfortunately my pen ran out of ink so I don’t have a record of the details but I suspect he is being unfairly maligned. You’d think Downhill had never had a DD before because he took a very long time to drink it, blaming his sensitive teeth. Little Weed was summoned to show him how which ended in Dripper pouring the remains of her drink over her head – most ungentlemanly behaviour!
General Business:
GPS had a brain snap and moved General Business to the start of the circle but I’m putting it here, in its rightful place. Dripper is setting our next run which will be at the Helena Valley primary school.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2088 - 30 October 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: Sawyers Valley Tavern, Great Eastern Highway, Sawyers Valley
Head Count: Twenty six plus three dogs
The Run
We all gathered for the mandatory special run photograph showing off Halloween creations from our dressing up boxes or, more likely, the local crap shop. Then we were off and away. We had the choice of a long, short walk, a long, long walk and a long run (10.8 kms) which is pretty much what we expect from Skippy so he is nothing if not consistent. It was also very well marked on a fast, flat trail with a well-stocked esky at the drink stop to lubricate us for the home trail. A twice nifty crossing of Gt Eastern Highway added a touch of excitement but hey, we’re experienced traffic dodgers!
The Circle
After calling on the hare to take his medicine GPS summoned Angelina into the circle. Angelina is {or was) a virgin. Rubber Duckie had brought her along, no idea where he found a member of an endangered species, he didn’t let on.
The RA then called on Passiona for falling over and grazing his head and knee as well as Leapfrog whose immediate reaction when he fell was to be grateful he hadn’t torn the black lacey flares she’d insisted he wear. Compassion is alive and well in the Woodward family.
Slippery Nuts scored an accolade for being the only hasher to dress for the weather then blew it when spotted holding hands with Pink Bits at the drink stop.
Further charges were:
Wacuda on Big Boy for having a birthday last week.
Mental Disorder, once again in full flight, charged Hot Rod for running in front of the speed camera hoping to have his speed registered. A forlorn hope given that Hot Rod is not super speedy and the minimum speed registered is apparently 60kph, or so Mental tells us.
Pink Bits announced she was laying two in absentia charges; one on El Keeno for making feeble excuses – too cold to come to the hash and anyway, he was busy making scones and the other on Maid Muffin who moved into a retirement village a month ago but decided to miss the hash in favour of the thirtieth anniversary of the opening of the village.
General Business:
El Keeno is setting next week’s run in Pechey Road, Jane Brook. See the website for details. Please note, we are moving to summertime and will start at 5pm.
After the song a whole bunch of us went to the tavern for a curry dinner.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2087 - 23 October 2022
Hare: GPS
Location: 15 Conigrave Place, Canning Vale
Head Count: Twenty eight plus three dogs
The Run
To rain or not to rain? That was the question. Grand Master GPS had warned us it always rains on his hashes. During the early afternoon it did rain and then it didn’t and so we set off in a poor excuse for a drizzle which quickly petered out after which we had fine weather. So, his unbroken record has now been broken. The walkers ambled through the burbs and parks of Canning Vale with the main excitement being a death-defying sprint across Nicholson Rd. The course for the runners was a flat but fast 8km which sorted out the speedy from the not so fast.
The Circle
GPS apologized for not being able to summon the rain, just so he could make us all miserable. Dripper and Passiona were both enthusiastic about the run and Sheep Shunter informed us that the walk measured 3.78kms. It’s important to be accurate about these things.
The RA called in our visitor Hazukashi from Hawaii to give an account of himself. Being a man of few words, he summed it up by saying he was travelling the world. She then segued on to the LTNS – Yo, a representative from the Wisecrack/Spackle family and Rock Bottom for dodging the DD last week and being stupid enough to boast about it in the run report.
Further charges were:
Mental Disorder charged Pink Bits for temporarily forgetting Slippery Nuts’ name and misspelling it in the book. A bit harsh I thought, after all they’ve only been an item for 19
months!
Mental then charged Leap Frog for making a suggestive comment about getting between Dripper’s legs. Let’s not pursue that one! The moral of this story is keep away from Mental, he’s too observant.
Franger was dobbed in for leaning
Train Wreck, in an admirable gesture of loyalty to his spouse, charged Shagged Out for front running and gesticulating (I think). I was distracted by contemplating Shagged Out’s revenge.
GPS completed his service to hashing by feeding us all. Many thanks GPS.
General Business:
Skippy is the hare for next week. The theme is Halloween so delve into your dress up box. The location is the Swan Valley Tavern and following the circle all are invited to the pub for a curry dinner.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2086 - 16 October 2022
Hares: Pink Bits, Slippery Nuts and Dripper
Location: Glen Forrest Train Park
Head Count: Thirty-three plus three dogs
The Run
We’re back and many thanks to Pink Bits for filling in as scribe and trail honcho during my absence. A timely return since it was Pink Bits’ birthday run so she could just chill out and enjoy herself without trying to press gang people to set runs. She and her cohorts set long trails, no doubt encouraging us to work up an appetite for Light My Fire’s excellent green chicken curry. Some of us were off to a slow start as Maid Muffin needed a crane and a winch to haul her up a slippery gravel slope but in the absence of either, many hands plus useful advice from Teflon did the trick. After that we ambled along roads, through bush tracks and grassy fields to arrive at the home of Belt Up and Pole Dancer for celebratory drinks – at least some of us did, a few missed the DS sign.
The Circle
Pink Bits, who has been celebrating all week was awarded yet another DD and well, why not? Maid Muffin commented on her elegant ascent of the slippery slope but really, she could have just walked up the road. Train Wreck said it was a long run, uphill overall. The RA took over and called out the LTNS: Free Beer and Madonna. Crusher and Rock Bottom managed not to be seen.
Further charges were:
Pink Bits charged Passiona for a website malfunction. In Passiona’s defence he said she needs to learn how to press F5
Train Wreck charged El Keeno for the most impressive shortcut ever. He wasn’t spotted between the 300m and 8km part of the run. A commendable effort even by the standards of the master short cutter.
General Business: Next week’s run is a home run being set by GPS. If you can’t manage Sunday, he’s hosting the same hash trail on Tuesday and Wednesday next week. He’s a a Master of Economy! Bring a bowl, he’s providing food.
The we all tucked into the curry and birthday cake.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2084 - 2 October 2022
El Keeno is Supreemo !
Good weather had a large pack assembling at the chosen venue. Of course, the conversation was about the fact that we were quite high up so what goes up must come down and up again and so on ... Ah well, when the Hare gave the run instructions, we were *advised* that the WORST WORST bit was right at the start - and so it was. The runners took off at the rate of knots having been *advised* that it was an A - B run & they would have a drink stop and a lift back to the start ! ! ! Eh ?
The walk was a bit steep to begin with but proved delightful later on ... the wildflowers were in abundance so made for interesting spotting. We were back after a short-ish walk. Not much later, the runners arrived back in their limo to a resounding round of applause - that is some of them. Skippy & Trainwreck decided to run back after all. (try hards !) Skippy is in training for a marathon so we'll let him off ....
GPS called the circle and the run/walk was deemed very good and a smiling El Keeno got his down-down. He was to receive numerous charges today. The RA took over and had a few charges for ... EK of course, and for Dripper who got the lame duck award. As he said, "Dripping but not in a usual way" There were a number of long-time-no-sees and we had to replenish the drinks tray as the charges came thick and fast ! So many I can't remember them ....
There were a few local residents who drove past us with *sour* looks on their faces, but they didn't know that we are a happy, cheery group enjoying some exercise, fresh air, nature and refreshments !
We sang the song in full voice and safely departed .... (no nose bleeds)
On On
Pink Bits xxx (still waiting for evidence of return of On-Sec from the Motherland)
Run: 2083 - 25 September 2022
Chicken Run OR For Whom The Bell Tolls !
This week's Hares Trainwreck and Shagged Out were keen as mustard to get the pack underway from the Darlington Oval. (or was that to move us on from the hoi-polloi gathering at the Hall after listening to chamber music ?)
It was a splendid day for a run & walk. We were directed up the road and on to W's for walkers - runners veered off in a different direction and apart from the faint sound of the horn in the distance, the trails did not cross. We passed numerous chicken coops along the way that had GPS in raptures and even passed a church tolling a bell !
Let's say the wildflowers make these spring runs most pleasant and we had the added benefit of some magnificent views. After the designated time, walkers and runners returned to the Oval.
GPS, quite strongly, called the circle and the run/walk was evaluated. Overall, it was deemed a great run - & down downs were consumed ! We welcomed a long-time-no-see ... Ha Ha ... El Keeno ! We also had a special presentation to Flying Nun of 50 runs (get a life !)
Then DOSH the RA got stuck in dishing out charges to mostly runners with an accolade to Passiona for NOT short cutting and Dripper for being a front runner for a change ... then some very secret men's business was exposed. Well, well, well .... the 3 stooges GPS, Hot Rod & Rubber Ducky were caught out playing together in a cubby house ???? That deserved a down down ! However, what happens on Hash - stays on Hash ... Your secret is safe with us ...
After much mirth and laughter, we sang the song and so endeth another fab Hills Hash run.
On On
Pink Bits xxx (still standing in for Rock Bottom now being initiated into the druid cornish pasties)
Chicken Run OR For Whom The Bell Tolls !
This week's Hares Trainwreck and Shagged Out were keen as mustard to get the pack underway from the Darlington Oval. (or was that to move us on from the hoi-polloi gathering at the Hall after listening to chamber music ?)
It was a splendid day for a run & walk. We were directed up the road and on to W's for walkers - runners veered off in a different direction and apart from the faint sound of the horn in the distance, the trails did not cross. We passed numerous chicken coops along the way that had GPS in raptures and even passed a church tolling a bell !
Let's say the wildflowers make these spring runs most pleasant and we had the added benefit of some magnificent views. After the designated time, walkers and runners returned to the Oval.
GPS, quite strongly, called the circle and the run/walk was evaluated. Overall, it was deemed a great run - & down downs were consumed ! We welcomed a long-time-no-see ... Ha Ha ... El Keeno ! We also had a special presentation to Flying Nun of 50 runs (get a life !)
Then DOSH the RA got stuck in dishing out charges to mostly runners with an accolade to Passiona for NOT short cutting and Dripper for being a front runner for a change ... then some very secret men's business was exposed. Well, well, well .... the 3 stooges GPS, Hot Rod & Rubber Ducky were caught out playing together in a cubby house ???? That deserved a down down ! However, what happens on Hash - stays on Hash ... Your secret is safe with us ...
After much mirth and laughter, we sang the song and so endeth another fab Hills Hash run.
On On
Pink Bits xxx (still standing in for Rock Bottom now being initiated into the druid cornish pasties)
Run: 2082 - 18 September 2022
Flying Nun Starts With Flying Colours !
Weather being perfect, we had a very good turnout for the run. It was a virgin run setting for Flying Nun but with counselling and help from a veteran (Passiona) she was ready for the chalk talk instructions.
Walkers were on W's and runners on usual blobs. It was a splendid run through bushland bursting with wildflowers ... the trail was very well marked so no chance of losing anyone. For the benefit of some, there was a long walk as well as a short one.
During the run, there were a couple of gunshots heard in the distance, which I am sure got Hashers increasing their pace (just in case ... well done Flying Nun for organising that ...)) otherwise it was a very pleasant trail, mostly flat barring a few uphill inclines near the end.
Once we returned - long walk but average length run - we assembled for the circle. The GM, GPS, welcomed a new runner, Rubber Ducky, and a few Freo Hashers who have graced us with their presence before. Flying Nun got numerous accolades for her first attempt and the run was generally praised.
The RA was missing today so stand-in Skippy got to perform the job of dishing out charges. He was somewhat short of any so left it open to the rabble. There were a few usual misdemeanors and even a SCB but we were anxious to partake of the NOSH that LMF had provided, so moved on with the singing.
The meal was awesome (thanks LMF) and we had a lovely early evening of socialising.
On On
Pink Bits xxx (in the absence of Rock Bottom who is communing with druids on the Cornish coast)
Flying Nun Starts With Flying Colours !
Weather being perfect, we had a very good turnout for the run. It was a virgin run setting for Flying Nun but with counselling and help from a veteran (Passiona) she was ready for the chalk talk instructions.
Walkers were on W's and runners on usual blobs. It was a splendid run through bushland bursting with wildflowers ... the trail was very well marked so no chance of losing anyone. For the benefit of some, there was a long walk as well as a short one.
During the run, there were a couple of gunshots heard in the distance, which I am sure got Hashers increasing their pace (just in case ... well done Flying Nun for organising that ...)) otherwise it was a very pleasant trail, mostly flat barring a few uphill inclines near the end.
Once we returned - long walk but average length run - we assembled for the circle. The GM, GPS, welcomed a new runner, Rubber Ducky, and a few Freo Hashers who have graced us with their presence before. Flying Nun got numerous accolades for her first attempt and the run was generally praised.
The RA was missing today so stand-in Skippy got to perform the job of dishing out charges. He was somewhat short of any so left it open to the rabble. There were a few usual misdemeanors and even a SCB but we were anxious to partake of the NOSH that LMF had provided, so moved on with the singing.
The meal was awesome (thanks LMF) and we had a lovely early evening of socialising.
On On
Pink Bits xxx (in the absence of Rock Bottom who is communing with druids on the Cornish coast)
Run: 2081 - 11 September 2022
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Mundaring Weir Rd, Kalamunda Circuit, but which circuit???? There was a spot of confusion.
Head Count: Twenty two plus just Mini Disorder representing the canine faction
The Run
I fear Madonna’s new-found stardom has gone to his head. He was clearly determined to make an entrance, arriving almost on the hour then cruising up and down MW Rd checking out his fan base while we all waved and cheered. He then drove off with SNB and Dripper running after his car – more frantic waving until he returned to base. This is classic prima donna (or primo uomo to get the gender right) behaviour characteristic of superstars.
Perfect weather for a hash and the trail alternated between the sublime (lots of wildflowers) and the hideous (piles of dumped household items) but mostly, I hope, sublime. There was a drink stop with bubbles to celebrate the co-hare’s birthday (that’s me) and with the exception of Franger, all stopped to re-hydrate. Franger rushed back to base then had to hang around waiting for us all to return – serves him right.
The Circle
Blowfly declared the walk to be well-marked and mostly flat while Train Wreck said it was a good run. The RA summoned Rock Bottom for a celebratory birthday drink and Dave the Pom both for being a LTNS and the Hash Crash.
There was some discussion about shoes. Were Franger and Big Boy wearing new shoes? It seems they weren’t so that discussion fell by the wayside. Then Mental started asking awkward questions about import duty and border control on imported T shirts and that all fell in a heap as well. We were getting distracted. Back on task Madonna was given a DD for being a good Samaritan and looking out for Pole Dancer and Belt Up. Wacuda charged Mental for watering the native vegetation and Dosh charged Dripper for short-cutting not once, but twice. Dripper was grateful she only caught him twice.
General Business
Next week’s run is a combined effort by flying Nun and Passiona and there will be a hash nosh so make sure you bring a bowl and eating utensils. Crusher and I will be away for the next four weeks so many thanks to Pink Bits for filling in as Scribe and On-sec.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2080 - 4 September 2022
The Magnificent Hills Hash Away at Dryandra Village
Numbat heaven - is how the venue is referred to, (mainly by Leapfrog !) so we travelled down to see if we could see any ! About 20 Hashers arrived at the cottages and were advised where they were billeted. We are a tough lot so there were no complaints about accommodation - except GPS who forgot his bedding and had to rent some (YES ... RENT)
Almost immediately, Hashers took off for short 10 or 20 km walks (INTREPID eh?) No sightings of numbats yet!
That evening we had a banquet of many delicious meals, lovingly prepared by a select group of top hash chefs and hung about the open fire pit for a while, having a drink or ten, before crashing into bed!
Day two - breakfast hastily consumed, everyone went off to do the walks again (we are a FIT lot !) or drive to the nearest local towns to look at the townsfolk or petrol stations which were mostly closed ! Love the country towns ... Still no sign of numbats ...
Skippy (who was Hare for the weekend) was due to arrive on day 2 and we had an executive decision to do our Numbat run on Saturday as check out was at 10 am on Sunday - it would have been too much of a rush ... Skippy agreed to set the run and we did not see him for ages (bad thing) Long run coming up!
Just prior to the run at 4pm, we decked ourselves out in *Numbat-like* creations to blend in with the bushland and not scare the wildlife (as if ... see the photos)
The run/walk was really gorgeous - apparently runners had a mini-abseil on their trail Run was 8 + km and walk about 5km HOWEVER it took nearly 2 hours for us to return (Oh come on ... there were wildflowers to photograph, lost children to help & possible sightings of the numbats - FAIL)
Back in the circle, we had all the usual complaints from GPS, some effort from the RA (who had kept the rain at bay) to charge Hashers for minor things and all things in between (Can't remember ... too much fun! (Still no numbats !)
Dinner was a BBQ with delish salads and a feeding frenzy ensued till desserts were brought out and bellies filled (well a few drinks were still ok)
THEN THE REAL FUN BEGAN
A select group gathered inside, by the fire, WITH A RADIO, to listen to the FREO DOCKERS win their game ... you could hear the screams for miles (maybe the numbats heard us as well and ran away ?)
We wandered off to bed very happy (well some of us did)
The Sunday morning had Hashers whizzing around being cleaners, to tidy up our accommodation before a sumptuous brekky. Then before leaving, you guessed it, some of us went for more walks. After that it was a delightful drive back to Perth. Past vast canola fields and OMG ... no not a numbat .... just a GIANT chicken in Boddington. !
Hope this gave everyone a snapshot of our fun trip but check out the photos as well !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
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Run: 2079 - 28 August 2022
Hares: Mental Disorder, Arseholeo and Menstrual Disorder with Quality Controller Mini Disorder
Location: Garvey Park
Head Count: Thirty plus three dogs
The Run
Quality Controller Mini Disorder organized his team to lay a decent trail. Menstrual Disorder set a most pleasant walk kicking off along the river path then winding through a housing development, a series of small parks and finishing back along the river path. No hills and perfect weather. Given the flatness of the area, Mental Disorder thought he’d set a longish run but the runners knocked it off no trouble at all and reported a distance of just over 8kms. The only tricky bit was crossing Gt Eastern Highway – successfully manoeuvred with no casualties.
The Circle
Dripper was invited to comment on the run, His verdict - quick, flat, well- marked and made even more interesting thanks to the highway crossings. Leapfrog enjoyed the walk, especially the gardens and glorious weather.
GPS summoned the Never Seens: Zippy, Ian and Shit Scraper into the centre for a DD, with Shit Scraper claiming his presence raised the average IQ by several points. He’s a Hamersley man, say no more!
Stand -in monk Skippy lamented the fact that Madonna, now star of stage, screen and television was absent. Having been featured on the ABC news on Saturday evening as a heroic 80+ parkrunner, my guess is that he was fighting off offers of sponsorship or deals to appear in the next Netflix series. So Crusher, who also appeared on the news, was invited to deputise for Madonna even though he’s not (quite) 80. Other charges were:
Pole Dancer and Belt Up following their return from the UK
Topless and Hot Rod for arriving late
Little Weed for having had a significant birthday
Rock Bottom for scavenging in the gutter
Cow Pat for doing a daring dash into the middle of the road in the face of oncoming cars to retrieve lemons
Raspberry for completing 100 runs
General Business
Leapfrog reminded us about the hash weekend away in Dryandra next w/e and asked everyone to bring $20 to pay for the accommodation. Skippy will set a hash on Sunday morning –dress code is stripes. There will be no Sunday afternoon run.
Shit Scraper announced that Hamersley is hosting a sundowner at the Windsor Hotel in Como on Saturday 8 October at 4pm. All are invited.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2078 - 21 August 2022
Hares: Skimpy with co-hare Teflon
Location: 655 Helena Valley Road, Helena Valley
Head Count: Twenty six plus three dogs
The Run
Is there some significance in the fact that in the Chinese Year of the Tiger two tiny chickens hatched just before we arrived at the hare’s house? No, well just thought I’d ask. There were hens free-ranging all over the place, upsetting Mini Disorder who wanted to either play with them or eat them which would have been a challenge because they were all bigger than him/her.
Once we’d got through Skimpy’s lengthy preamble with references to lollipops, double-headed icecreams and goodness knows what else because I tuned out quite quickly, we had a most pleasant walk. It encompassed a circuit of the Beyer-Smithson estate, a road crossing, bush trails, a stream, some grassed areas and a drink stop at which Free Beer dispensed generous amounts of her home-made free beer. The only feature missing was a hill or two. The trail was well marked and with the exception of Train Wreck and Passiona who were intent on blazing their own trail, no one strayed off course. Could it be that Skimpy sought the wise counsel of his experienced co-hare Teflon when setting this trail?
The Circle
We gathered around the bonfire. Crusher was asked to comment on the walk. He said it reminded him of the parkrun he’d done the previous day. Dosh thought the run was well set. Passiona had a different view but we’ll ignore the lunatic fringe. Dripper commented that Free Beer had set the bar too high with her excellent home brew. Rusty Nuts was welcomed as a LTNS and Pink Bits and Leapfrog got stuck into GPS big time for not recording the number of runs he’s done in the book. GPS excused himself on the grounds that he doesn’t have a good woman to organise his life so it was suggested he should look for a bad woman. Good (or bad) luck GPS!
Raspberry was commended for having done 99 runs. Not a bad achievement for a four year old! Then we got on to the birthdays and there were so many we nearly didn’t have enough silly hats. Out they came – Raspberry, Teflon, Topless and SNB to be honoured with a rousing chorus.
General Business
Mental Disorder is setting next week’s run at Garvey Park. Leapfrog reminded us about the hash weekend away in Dryandra from 2-4 September. You can arrive any time after 2pm on Friday.
Hash Nosh
Free Beer produced generous quantities of soup and home made bread followed by cakes thanks to Topless and SNB. Another successful hash.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2077 - 14 August 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Charles Road, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty two plus three dogs
The Run
Where do I start? Perhaps with the reception from the not-so-friendly locals who objected to us parking in the small clearing in front of their house on the grounds that they couldn’t get out (they could). I suppose we did rather colonise the limited space and cause their dog to bark continuously and perhaps they weren’t impressed by a bunch of people standing in a circle so close to their house singing silly songs. Oh well, you can’t win them all. Anyway it was otherwise an excellent location with lots of trails, clear markings, perfect weather, and a choice of walk, short run or long run. But perhaps I shouldn’t be too complimentary because after our gratitude to the hare for stepping in at such short notice, it’s all gone to his head and he’s now signing himself in the book as El Keeno the Great. Who could disagree?
The Circle
It all went downhill (sorry, Downhill) from there as one after another shameless exhibitionist competed for attention. They were mostly outed and summoned to take their medicine although a few escaped. In no particular order they were:
Dosh for forgetting the monk’s robe of office for the second week in a row. She said she’d left it in a bag by the front door. This was a private conversation but I thought worth including.
El Keeno for staging a fall just 10 minutes into the walk and limping back to base with a sprained ankle
Madonna for trialling a walking pole. He hasn’t quite bonded with it yet but I think we’ll see it again.
Blow Fly, not to be upstaged by Madonna, said he had two poles and offered his spare to anyone who might use it and it was immediately claimed by….
Pink Bits who had tried hard to be Hash Crash by falling over and injuring her wrist. Meanwhile,
Slippery Nuts injured his back as a result of trying to help Pink Bits get up
Dripper for trying to be incognito in mask and civilian gear and heroically setting out to look for Pink Bits
Downhill for rocking up with cakes and custard tarts to celebrate either his last birthday in January 2022 or perhaps the next one in January 2023. Can you see why people might think we’re a bit odd?
Wacuda who staged a dramatic appearance almost at the end of the proceedings having, you guessed it, lost trail.
GPS invited us all to his house for the next Friday Hash run prompting Mental to ask a tactless question about a chicken dinner. There was a minor domestic between Passiona and Leapfrog about their car and finally…….drum roll, trumpet blast!!!…..we had a naming ceremony. Welcome to Hot Rod who endured the indignity of his baptism in good spirits. He has the makings of a fine hasher.
General Business: next week’s run is a birthday celebration for Teflon Kid and Raspberry. Free Beer and Skimpy will treat us to soup around the bonfire so make sure you bring a bowl and spoon.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2076 - 7 August 2022
Hares: Fire Extinguisher
Location: 13 Broadway Road, Bickley
Head Count: Thirty one plus four dogs
The Run
A most pleasant ramble through a maze of trails for the walkers and ditto for the runners although needless to say, the runners didn’t ramble. No one got lost owing to an abundance of mini dots and W’s which were almost too small to be away from their mothers but because there were so many of them they guided us safely to the drink stop and then back to base. Apart from the location and the ambience, it’s worth coming to Fire Ex’s run just for the drink stop.
The Circle
There was some banter, instigated by Train Wreck, about an icehole after he had tossed a large lump of ice into the stump of a tree in the middle of the lawn. Who would be the first victim?
The circle got going with a standing ovation for the hare (well, we’re always standing) who had set both the run and the walk as well as providing the drink stop. GPS then threw convention to the wind by announcing we would start with general business. This was prompted by the change of venue for next week’s run. Mental Disorder suggested not a good idea to stage his run at Garvey Park at the same time as the end of the Avon Descent so El Keeno gallantly agreed to swap dates with him. Both scored a DD, El Keeno for being awesome and Mental Disorder for expressing relief that the dips in his fridge wouldn’t have reached their expiry date by 28 August. Get a life Mental and thank you El Keeno!
Charges were:
Crusher in anticipation of his birthday on Friday 12/8
Free Beer with a second chance to drink the splash rather than launch it at Skimpy’s face. She passed.
Skippy for being a long, rather than a short, cutter
Honey Bun for having a love affair with her phone in the circle (also on the walk) as well as short-cutting. So many misdemeanours, she could have been a candidate for the ice.
Pink Bits and Mental both tried to implicate GPS but reverse charge to Mental
Leapfrog was so overcome at being charged by Mental she voluntarily sat on the ice. A candidate at last!
Chatalot, Fire Ex’s mum was welcomed as our visitor from Augusta
Snake Charmer as our Hash Crash for this week with grazes on palm and knee.
Leapfrog then proceeded to distribute badges with considerable largesse. You got one (or two) whether you wanted them or not with even the offer from Leapfrog of her sewing machine to attach them to whatever item of clothing you decide to grace them with. And finally, both before and after the circle we tucked in to Fire Extinguisher’s tacos, burritos and chocolate cake – yum!
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2075 - 31 July 2022
Hares: Train Wreck and Shagged Out
Location: Glen Road, Darlington
Head Count: Thirty four plus three dogs
The Run
Get a load of that - 34 hashers! The word has spread that we are a class act. “I’ve managed to balance out all the uphills with the downhills” said Train Wreck and as a geologist, he would know. He was ably supported by fellow geologist Shagged Out who delivered a similar message. In spite of their assurances, there was a marked variation in altitude from start to finish. Leapfrog rated the trail as magic with wonderful views and wildflowers and the bonus of a wedge tailed eagle circling overhead being chased by ravens. Well, we didn’t all see the bird display but no argument with her judgement. The descent offered amazing views and the ascent went up the side of a gushing stream. The runners were equally fulsome in their praise so all would have been perfect had there not been an alert for a lost child. Was Teflon Kid lost or had he attached himself to someone else? Various hashers went off in various directions until mystery solved, he had returned to base with Little Weed and Flying Nun on the grounds that, “Dad is too slow”.
The Circle
Train Wreck had brought his family along so GPS welcomed the visitors, Leanne and Mike who said they enjoyed the experience. The hares were awarded a DD for their efforts then the RA offered a DD to Free Beer to calm her nerves. Not much calming was effected since the splash ended up on Skimpy’s face. Yes, well moving right along… The RA was disappointed with the lack of gore so GPS proffered a pathetic scratch on his arm and managed to squeeze a drop of blood out of it.
Other charges were:
Mental Disorder on Topless, something to do with certain fabrics irritating her skin (I think)
Pink Bits on Light My Fire for putting the wrong date on Facebook
Reverse charge from Rock Bottom to SNB for being the mysterious Facebook scribe
Mini Disorder for having completed 25 runs (actually it’s now 27)
Other Business
5/10: There was an improvement in the number of people reading the scribe report although there’s still room for a better result. We hope the addition of the rag to Facebook will encourage more readers.
Rock Bottom
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Run 2074 - 24 July 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Glenburn Road, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty six plus two dogs
The Run
In fact that should have been 25 and a half, the half being Little Weed and no, not for her diminutive size but for the fact that she arrived late and missed the first part of the walk (see below). Back to the trail – a great location with heaps of well-marked tracks. We walkers meandered through the bush and eventually followed the power lines back to base while the runners were all over the place like headless chooks (more on chooks later) but all returned and, for a change, no one got lost and there were no injuries.
The Circle
A few keen pyromaniacs lit a fire and this time there were no community-minded locals to dob us in to the fire brigade. Leapfrog did her best to hijack the circle by press-ganging people to commit to food for the Dryandra w/e. Eventually she was silenced and the GM kicked off the circle.
He welcomed himself back and awarded himself and Light My Fire a DD on the grounds that no one else would then proceeded to give us a report on his recent hash jaunt to the Cocos and Christmas Islands. Now wouldn’t you think that a tale involving the fauna of Christmas Island would mention red crabs, crazy ants, boobies, noddies, owls or frigate birds? Well you’d be wrong, the highlight of our GM’s holiday was a chook that shat on his shoe. We are nothing if not refined in the Hills Hash.
Pink Bits in her role as acting RA took control of the charges which included:
El Keeno for an excellent run
Leapfrog for trying to hijack the circle
Snake Charmer for trying to self-immolate
Little Weed for arriving late and dressed in civvies rather than hash gear
Big Boy for something. I missed the details.
Score Sheet
10/10: Rock Bottom commended the hashers for an excellent response to the call for volunteers
3/10: RB was not impressed at the number of hashers who don’t read the scribe report, claiming she casts her pearls before swine. We hope for a better response next week.
Rock Bottom
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Run 2073 - 17 July 2022
Hare: Leapfrog and Passiona
Location: Home run – Stevens St, Sawyers Valley
Title: Happy 70th Birthday Passiona
The Run
In spite of the rain, the word had spread that this was to be a special event and so 34 human hashers and five canines rocked up to help Passiona cope with the shock of turning 70. We gathered around the fire awaiting instructions. Thanks to a couple of downpours the hares weren’t sure if the trail markers would still be visible so Passiona accompanied the runners while Leapfrog came along with the walkers. No problem really, the trail was mostly still visible although Wacuda managed to lose trail anyway and took first timer to the Hills Hash, Bell Boy along to teach him a few tricks. We ambled (or ran) through bush tracks then awaited the return of the lost ones. Eventually Big Boy set off to look for his dad but went the wrong way – it must be genetic! However they did finally rock up and so on with the circle.
The Circle
No sign of the GM again so Skippy stepped into the role and almost immediately handed the baton over to the RA who highlighted several causes for rejoicing:
Passiona – a none-too-subtle highly decorated pink birthday T shirt
Spot On – a mug for completing 100 hashes
Pink Bits –a mug for completing (wait for it!) 600 hashes
We sang, “Get a life”.
El Keano then charged Train Wreck and Shagged Out for missing out on setting their run last week owing to the birth of a grandson. Poor timing I hear you say but congrats to the grandparents. I think Mental charged Passiona for the weather. Big Boy scored a DD for getting lost looking for his father who was lost. Were there any other misdemeanours? If so, I missed them because I was distracted by THE FOOD!
And the food kept coming – guacamole, homemade sausage rolls, pizzas galore, banoffee slice to die for and a whacking big chocolate birthday cake. Thank you to all those in the kitchen who produced the feast and thank you Passiona and Leapfrog for hosting the celebration.
Rock Bottom
Run 2072 - 10 July 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: Darlington Oval
The Run
With less than 48 hours’ notice Skippy stepped in to set us a hash after the designated hares reported being AWOL. Thank you Skippy. However, it must be at least three weeks since he last set a run so probably time he brushed up his skills. Our absentee hares have promised to set a trail when they return from wherever.
In perfect hashing weather we set off up and down some steep paths with the walkers going anti-clockwise and the runners going in the opposite direction. We crossed paths at one stage and compared notes on the treacherous slopes. It was all worth the effort when we got to the stunning Boya quarry followed by a few more hills before returning to base.
The Circle
Twenty two hashers and four dogs rocked up for the hash although Leapfrog tried to inflate the numbers by putting her and Passiona’s names in the book twice. Good try Leapfrog but we’re on to your game! Otherwise, in the absence of the GM, the ever-resourceful hare doubled up as GM and ran the circle. We’d held off for a bit waiting for the return of Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts who appeared from a different direction altogether, saying the hills were too steep so they’d decided to play it safe. In spite of the hills, it was unanimously agreed that it was an excellent trail.
Various gifts were distributed – a 400th run badge to Little Weed for her dedication to hashing and a crazy chicken T shirt to Pick Up Chick who arrived after the run was over bearing two trays of apple crumble to celebrate her birthday. She was rewarded for her efforts with a song and a silly hat.
SNB was charged with disappearing into a puddle and throwing himself down a slope but the RA was so unimpressed with the extent of his injuries, she didn’t think him worthy of a DD. I suspect Wacuda and Scooby Doo have set a very high standard for self-inflicted injuries. El Keano copped a DD for short-cutting, just for a change! And that was it for another successful event.
Rock Bottom
Run 2071 - 3 July 2022
Hare: SNB ably assisted by Rock Bottom and Crusher
Location: Collins Rd, Kalamunda behind the swimming pool
The Run
With the sort of lack of bias you’d expect from a co-hare, may I say that this must surely be a contender for run of the year? I mean, you had it all – perfect weather, a run trail which was well marked, not too flat, not too hilly, not too long and a walk trail to match. Feedback from the 21 people plus three canines who embarked on the run/walk supports my judgement. We are, however, slightly fearful of a visit from the environmental officer from the local shire intending to lay charges against Crusher for his reckless distribution of far too many mega-sized W’s. I did warn him, several times!
The Circle
After a year as head honcho, the GM hasn’t yet managed to rip us into shape. He kicked off the circle by telling us he’s still disappointed in us. We need to try harder chaps.
Down downs were then awarded to:
The hare and co-hares
Scooby Doo who’s off to Thailand
Skippy for something to do with nudes on the rocks
Mental Disorder for completing 25 runs
SNB for re-cycling
Little Weed scored a reverse charge for trying to dob a fellow hasher in for their shoes which weren’t new after all
Wacuda, ever the attention-seeker. He couldn’t legitimately get lost when the hash was almost in his back yard so he threw himself down on the ground and had a bleeding arm to show for it
There might have been a few more involving Downhill, Leapfrog and Little Weed but I couldn’t quite hear so lost the plot at that stage. It was getting very cold, time to pack up.
Run 2068
DOSH & WACUDA Serve Up Their Usual Torment !
The great weather brought out the best of willing Hashers so we had a big turnout. There were a number of participants from Freo Hash which was really good ! The Hares did a chalk talk and set us off towards a promised drink stop. (with a view) It was a really pleasant stroll (mad dash if you wanted ...) on a relatively flat trail. There were a few up hills and down dales but mostly manageable. Runners were heard now and then, via the horn, but rarely seen ! The trail occasionally was poorly marked so walkers were milling about like ants looking for trail. However, at the magnificent drink stop all was forgiven ...
No-one got lost and we were back at the start with 2 cakes beckoning to be eaten ... The GM called the circle and gave the Hares a much deserved down-down but also the pack indicated that it was a good run ...
New RA (DOSH) handed out a few charges including the 2 birthday girls ! .... DOSH and Free Beer (Free Beer got to wear the silly hat !) We sang Happy Birthday ... There were charges from the floor for Topless (no Hash Gear) and Skippy (over achieving - extracurricular running almost a Marathon)
We then sang the song and got to devouring the cakes .... lovely !
On On
Pink Bits xxx (for, she hopes, the last time as Scribe for now !)
2067 Sunday 19th June
40 Years Of Hills Hashing A Hit !
A fantastic turnout for this huge milestone for Hills Hash. Numerous *old* T-Shirts were adorning the walls and the bodies of Hashers ! Lets just say the weather was rubbish but there were a few moments of sunshine in between the showers. It was cold with a wind chill factor of 'LOTS' ..... The lake looked lovely with perfect weather for ducks ...
The brave Hare's, Leapfrog & Passiona, had great ideas for the run/walk but in the end, there was just a lot of lime scattered here and there for runners, (mostly there) and a saunter around the lake for walkers. The umbrellas/raincoats were useful but there was never a deluge !
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Leapfrog and Pink Bits were busy warming up the soups on the BBQ and preparing for the Awards presentations. Speeches were practised and the dance routine perfected !
Once the pack started to return, the beverages were most welcomed (bit cold eh Dripper ? More ice yet ... ?) There was a huge array of memorabilia, thanks to Hash Historian Leapfrog, and many a laugh was had looking over the photos ! Eventually, the old GM tried to call the pack to order (easier herding chickens) and got on with the business of dishing out a 200 run foot for Scooby Doo (We DO know your REAL name !) before he leaves for warmer climes ...
Then the Hares got a justifiable down down for the run - followed by the RA getting the same for not keeping the rain at bay (His excuse was he had done enough LAST week !)
Continuing in the age old tradition, we then had the new committee/awards - the pack was waiting with baited breath .... highlight of the day .... all of that !
It went as follows:
Most current position holders remained the same except :
New (OLD) GM - GPS (chosen last week whilst he was sick with COVID - (be aware ... don't turn up and you will get a job !)
New Vice - ???? maybe Franger ??? (see above) No ... it's Skippy ...
New RA - DOSH (who reckons she will be boring ... as if ...!)
New On Sec/Hash Scribe/Hash Hacker -Rock Bottom & Crusher (thank you - thank you - thank you)
Hash Splash - Dripper (again thank you)
Hash Nosh - Light My Fire - (another vote of thanks)
There are others but I won't elaborate ...
THANKS TO ALL !
AWARDS - Joint Hares of the Year - Skippy & Dipper
- Hound of the Year - Dripper ... (get a life)
- Monks Perpetual Trophy - Pink Bits (aw gee thanks !)
- The Hash Dash Award - Spot On (Well done)
- SCB Award - El Keeno (who else .... a truly existential experience)
- Hash Crash Award (Golden Flat Foot - crafted & donated by Leapfrog) - Flying Nun
- Run of the Year - Skippy - Nudes on the Rocks Run (as voted by the pack)
- Special *Getting Lost in Style* Award - Young, Wild & Free - Madonna
We were starting to get very cold so we got Hash Horn Skippy to play a note and Passiona led us into our song ... It was rousing and well executed ... !
Then on to hot soups, provided by a bunch of Harriettes as well as some sweets and cute edible gingerbread feet (as opposed to wet soggy Hashers feet (YUK)
Thank you one and all for helping to make our special event such fun .. Also, thanks to all who made the effort to turn up ... ! X
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2066 Sheep Shunter & Light My Fire Put On A Great Show !
Ominous skies and windy conditions were what we encountered at the Kings Meadow venue. Surprisingly, we had a great turnout and, after the run instructions were given (& a drink stop promised ...) we set off together on a pleasant path along the river, mostly quite flat. Runners soon disappeared but you could hear the horn. As an amusing aside, a member of the public stopped a couple of Hashers and asked who we were ???? mentioning that she thought the horn was an interesting frog sound ! ! ! You have to laugh ...
The trail had one iffy glitch which had walkers clambering over very rocky terrain under a bridge. (Not sure if runners went the same way.) Eventually, we wound up at the drink stop and enjoyed a refreshing beverage. Sadly, the trail home was still quite a distance but fortunately the rain kept off all the way.
Back in the circle LMF provided delicious dumplings, then with our Vice GM in attendance, charges were handed out to the Hares for a job well done and for making it a long run. Then the RA got an accolade for holding off the rain and dished out down-downs to a few unlucky Hashers including himself.
We sang our song and still the rain kept off ... amazing !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2065 The Run That Had It All & Some .....
It started out as a bit of a Hash clean up at the venue as there was a lot of rubbish lying around - we collected a full bag of stuff plus a few dollars worth of cans and bottles ... Seems the area is a hoon hangout ! However, it was an ordinary Sunday run, .... except there was some trepidation as Skippy was the Hare ! The venue was the lovely John Forrest National Park so we were aware there would be a lot of hills ...
Skippy uttered the scary words *vicious descent* for both runners and walkers. He also mentioned the probable distance of 6km for the walkers and 9km for runners with the added recommendation that once descending you were committed and had to keep going.... Ominous words indeed !
The brave and fearless forged ahead but a few of us decided to turn back after about 1.5 km and return.
Knowing the run was fairly long, we had instructions to light a very small fire as it would be cold as soon as the sun set (it was a REMARKABLE sunset) Eventually a few walkers appeared , some bloodstained (Hashing is dangerous) and relieved to be back. Then a straggle of runners dribbled in .... eventually we gathered around the said fire chatting only to realise that we were one Hasher missing ... Things got a bit worrying as it became darker and darker (thank goodness for the fire !)
Skippy and a band of fellow Hasher Heroes went running back to look for the lost ... In the meantime a party bus arrived right by us ... no ... wait .... it was actually a LARGE FIRE Truck with the small one behind it ... Some burly firies got out and indicated we were in the wrong by lighting the fire (a concerned citizen had phoned the station !)
We assured them we were only a bunch of similarly concerned citizens looking for our lost friend and not a bunch of hoons ! The fire would be extinguished as soon as he was back ...
It was a happy ending in that we were all reunited - had a 30 second circle - threw massive amounts of water on the fire and went for a curry ...
It was different - you had to be there - it was memorable.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
PS. GPS resigned from GM position but then re-instated himself as soon as the fire brigade left ... was funny !
Hares: Crusher and Rock Bottom
Location: Mundaring Weir Rd, Kalamunda Circuit, but which circuit???? There was a spot of confusion.
Head Count: Twenty two plus just Mini Disorder representing the canine faction
The Run
I fear Madonna’s new-found stardom has gone to his head. He was clearly determined to make an entrance, arriving almost on the hour then cruising up and down MW Rd checking out his fan base while we all waved and cheered. He then drove off with SNB and Dripper running after his car – more frantic waving until he returned to base. This is classic prima donna (or primo uomo to get the gender right) behaviour characteristic of superstars.
Perfect weather for a hash and the trail alternated between the sublime (lots of wildflowers) and the hideous (piles of dumped household items) but mostly, I hope, sublime. There was a drink stop with bubbles to celebrate the co-hare’s birthday (that’s me) and with the exception of Franger, all stopped to re-hydrate. Franger rushed back to base then had to hang around waiting for us all to return – serves him right.
The Circle
Blowfly declared the walk to be well-marked and mostly flat while Train Wreck said it was a good run. The RA summoned Rock Bottom for a celebratory birthday drink and Dave the Pom both for being a LTNS and the Hash Crash.
There was some discussion about shoes. Were Franger and Big Boy wearing new shoes? It seems they weren’t so that discussion fell by the wayside. Then Mental started asking awkward questions about import duty and border control on imported T shirts and that all fell in a heap as well. We were getting distracted. Back on task Madonna was given a DD for being a good Samaritan and looking out for Pole Dancer and Belt Up. Wacuda charged Mental for watering the native vegetation and Dosh charged Dripper for short-cutting not once, but twice. Dripper was grateful she only caught him twice.
General Business
Next week’s run is a combined effort by flying Nun and Passiona and there will be a hash nosh so make sure you bring a bowl and eating utensils. Crusher and I will be away for the next four weeks so many thanks to Pink Bits for filling in as Scribe and On-sec.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2080 - 4 September 2022
The Magnificent Hills Hash Away at Dryandra Village
Numbat heaven - is how the venue is referred to, (mainly by Leapfrog !) so we travelled down to see if we could see any ! About 20 Hashers arrived at the cottages and were advised where they were billeted. We are a tough lot so there were no complaints about accommodation - except GPS who forgot his bedding and had to rent some (YES ... RENT)
Almost immediately, Hashers took off for short 10 or 20 km walks (INTREPID eh?) No sightings of numbats yet!
That evening we had a banquet of many delicious meals, lovingly prepared by a select group of top hash chefs and hung about the open fire pit for a while, having a drink or ten, before crashing into bed!
Day two - breakfast hastily consumed, everyone went off to do the walks again (we are a FIT lot !) or drive to the nearest local towns to look at the townsfolk or petrol stations which were mostly closed ! Love the country towns ... Still no sign of numbats ...
Skippy (who was Hare for the weekend) was due to arrive on day 2 and we had an executive decision to do our Numbat run on Saturday as check out was at 10 am on Sunday - it would have been too much of a rush ... Skippy agreed to set the run and we did not see him for ages (bad thing) Long run coming up!
Just prior to the run at 4pm, we decked ourselves out in *Numbat-like* creations to blend in with the bushland and not scare the wildlife (as if ... see the photos)
The run/walk was really gorgeous - apparently runners had a mini-abseil on their trail Run was 8 + km and walk about 5km HOWEVER it took nearly 2 hours for us to return (Oh come on ... there were wildflowers to photograph, lost children to help & possible sightings of the numbats - FAIL)
Back in the circle, we had all the usual complaints from GPS, some effort from the RA (who had kept the rain at bay) to charge Hashers for minor things and all things in between (Can't remember ... too much fun! (Still no numbats !)
Dinner was a BBQ with delish salads and a feeding frenzy ensued till desserts were brought out and bellies filled (well a few drinks were still ok)
THEN THE REAL FUN BEGAN
A select group gathered inside, by the fire, WITH A RADIO, to listen to the FREO DOCKERS win their game ... you could hear the screams for miles (maybe the numbats heard us as well and ran away ?)
We wandered off to bed very happy (well some of us did)
The Sunday morning had Hashers whizzing around being cleaners, to tidy up our accommodation before a sumptuous brekky. Then before leaving, you guessed it, some of us went for more walks. After that it was a delightful drive back to Perth. Past vast canola fields and OMG ... no not a numbat .... just a GIANT chicken in Boddington. !
Hope this gave everyone a snapshot of our fun trip but check out the photos as well !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
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Run: 2079 - 28 August 2022
Hares: Mental Disorder, Arseholeo and Menstrual Disorder with Quality Controller Mini Disorder
Location: Garvey Park
Head Count: Thirty plus three dogs
The Run
Quality Controller Mini Disorder organized his team to lay a decent trail. Menstrual Disorder set a most pleasant walk kicking off along the river path then winding through a housing development, a series of small parks and finishing back along the river path. No hills and perfect weather. Given the flatness of the area, Mental Disorder thought he’d set a longish run but the runners knocked it off no trouble at all and reported a distance of just over 8kms. The only tricky bit was crossing Gt Eastern Highway – successfully manoeuvred with no casualties.
The Circle
Dripper was invited to comment on the run, His verdict - quick, flat, well- marked and made even more interesting thanks to the highway crossings. Leapfrog enjoyed the walk, especially the gardens and glorious weather.
GPS summoned the Never Seens: Zippy, Ian and Shit Scraper into the centre for a DD, with Shit Scraper claiming his presence raised the average IQ by several points. He’s a Hamersley man, say no more!
Stand -in monk Skippy lamented the fact that Madonna, now star of stage, screen and television was absent. Having been featured on the ABC news on Saturday evening as a heroic 80+ parkrunner, my guess is that he was fighting off offers of sponsorship or deals to appear in the next Netflix series. So Crusher, who also appeared on the news, was invited to deputise for Madonna even though he’s not (quite) 80. Other charges were:
Pole Dancer and Belt Up following their return from the UK
Topless and Hot Rod for arriving late
Little Weed for having had a significant birthday
Rock Bottom for scavenging in the gutter
Cow Pat for doing a daring dash into the middle of the road in the face of oncoming cars to retrieve lemons
Raspberry for completing 100 runs
General Business
Leapfrog reminded us about the hash weekend away in Dryandra next w/e and asked everyone to bring $20 to pay for the accommodation. Skippy will set a hash on Sunday morning –dress code is stripes. There will be no Sunday afternoon run.
Shit Scraper announced that Hamersley is hosting a sundowner at the Windsor Hotel in Como on Saturday 8 October at 4pm. All are invited.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2078 - 21 August 2022
Hares: Skimpy with co-hare Teflon
Location: 655 Helena Valley Road, Helena Valley
Head Count: Twenty six plus three dogs
The Run
Is there some significance in the fact that in the Chinese Year of the Tiger two tiny chickens hatched just before we arrived at the hare’s house? No, well just thought I’d ask. There were hens free-ranging all over the place, upsetting Mini Disorder who wanted to either play with them or eat them which would have been a challenge because they were all bigger than him/her.
Once we’d got through Skimpy’s lengthy preamble with references to lollipops, double-headed icecreams and goodness knows what else because I tuned out quite quickly, we had a most pleasant walk. It encompassed a circuit of the Beyer-Smithson estate, a road crossing, bush trails, a stream, some grassed areas and a drink stop at which Free Beer dispensed generous amounts of her home-made free beer. The only feature missing was a hill or two. The trail was well marked and with the exception of Train Wreck and Passiona who were intent on blazing their own trail, no one strayed off course. Could it be that Skimpy sought the wise counsel of his experienced co-hare Teflon when setting this trail?
The Circle
We gathered around the bonfire. Crusher was asked to comment on the walk. He said it reminded him of the parkrun he’d done the previous day. Dosh thought the run was well set. Passiona had a different view but we’ll ignore the lunatic fringe. Dripper commented that Free Beer had set the bar too high with her excellent home brew. Rusty Nuts was welcomed as a LTNS and Pink Bits and Leapfrog got stuck into GPS big time for not recording the number of runs he’s done in the book. GPS excused himself on the grounds that he doesn’t have a good woman to organise his life so it was suggested he should look for a bad woman. Good (or bad) luck GPS!
Raspberry was commended for having done 99 runs. Not a bad achievement for a four year old! Then we got on to the birthdays and there were so many we nearly didn’t have enough silly hats. Out they came – Raspberry, Teflon, Topless and SNB to be honoured with a rousing chorus.
General Business
Mental Disorder is setting next week’s run at Garvey Park. Leapfrog reminded us about the hash weekend away in Dryandra from 2-4 September. You can arrive any time after 2pm on Friday.
Hash Nosh
Free Beer produced generous quantities of soup and home made bread followed by cakes thanks to Topless and SNB. Another successful hash.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2077 - 14 August 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Charles Road, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty two plus three dogs
The Run
Where do I start? Perhaps with the reception from the not-so-friendly locals who objected to us parking in the small clearing in front of their house on the grounds that they couldn’t get out (they could). I suppose we did rather colonise the limited space and cause their dog to bark continuously and perhaps they weren’t impressed by a bunch of people standing in a circle so close to their house singing silly songs. Oh well, you can’t win them all. Anyway it was otherwise an excellent location with lots of trails, clear markings, perfect weather, and a choice of walk, short run or long run. But perhaps I shouldn’t be too complimentary because after our gratitude to the hare for stepping in at such short notice, it’s all gone to his head and he’s now signing himself in the book as El Keeno the Great. Who could disagree?
The Circle
It all went downhill (sorry, Downhill) from there as one after another shameless exhibitionist competed for attention. They were mostly outed and summoned to take their medicine although a few escaped. In no particular order they were:
Dosh for forgetting the monk’s robe of office for the second week in a row. She said she’d left it in a bag by the front door. This was a private conversation but I thought worth including.
El Keeno for staging a fall just 10 minutes into the walk and limping back to base with a sprained ankle
Madonna for trialling a walking pole. He hasn’t quite bonded with it yet but I think we’ll see it again.
Blow Fly, not to be upstaged by Madonna, said he had two poles and offered his spare to anyone who might use it and it was immediately claimed by….
Pink Bits who had tried hard to be Hash Crash by falling over and injuring her wrist. Meanwhile,
Slippery Nuts injured his back as a result of trying to help Pink Bits get up
Dripper for trying to be incognito in mask and civilian gear and heroically setting out to look for Pink Bits
Downhill for rocking up with cakes and custard tarts to celebrate either his last birthday in January 2022 or perhaps the next one in January 2023. Can you see why people might think we’re a bit odd?
Wacuda who staged a dramatic appearance almost at the end of the proceedings having, you guessed it, lost trail.
GPS invited us all to his house for the next Friday Hash run prompting Mental to ask a tactless question about a chicken dinner. There was a minor domestic between Passiona and Leapfrog about their car and finally…….drum roll, trumpet blast!!!…..we had a naming ceremony. Welcome to Hot Rod who endured the indignity of his baptism in good spirits. He has the makings of a fine hasher.
General Business: next week’s run is a birthday celebration for Teflon Kid and Raspberry. Free Beer and Skimpy will treat us to soup around the bonfire so make sure you bring a bowl and spoon.
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2076 - 7 August 2022
Hares: Fire Extinguisher
Location: 13 Broadway Road, Bickley
Head Count: Thirty one plus four dogs
The Run
A most pleasant ramble through a maze of trails for the walkers and ditto for the runners although needless to say, the runners didn’t ramble. No one got lost owing to an abundance of mini dots and W’s which were almost too small to be away from their mothers but because there were so many of them they guided us safely to the drink stop and then back to base. Apart from the location and the ambience, it’s worth coming to Fire Ex’s run just for the drink stop.
The Circle
There was some banter, instigated by Train Wreck, about an icehole after he had tossed a large lump of ice into the stump of a tree in the middle of the lawn. Who would be the first victim?
The circle got going with a standing ovation for the hare (well, we’re always standing) who had set both the run and the walk as well as providing the drink stop. GPS then threw convention to the wind by announcing we would start with general business. This was prompted by the change of venue for next week’s run. Mental Disorder suggested not a good idea to stage his run at Garvey Park at the same time as the end of the Avon Descent so El Keeno gallantly agreed to swap dates with him. Both scored a DD, El Keeno for being awesome and Mental Disorder for expressing relief that the dips in his fridge wouldn’t have reached their expiry date by 28 August. Get a life Mental and thank you El Keeno!
Charges were:
Crusher in anticipation of his birthday on Friday 12/8
Free Beer with a second chance to drink the splash rather than launch it at Skimpy’s face. She passed.
Skippy for being a long, rather than a short, cutter
Honey Bun for having a love affair with her phone in the circle (also on the walk) as well as short-cutting. So many misdemeanours, she could have been a candidate for the ice.
Pink Bits and Mental both tried to implicate GPS but reverse charge to Mental
Leapfrog was so overcome at being charged by Mental she voluntarily sat on the ice. A candidate at last!
Chatalot, Fire Ex’s mum was welcomed as our visitor from Augusta
Snake Charmer as our Hash Crash for this week with grazes on palm and knee.
Leapfrog then proceeded to distribute badges with considerable largesse. You got one (or two) whether you wanted them or not with even the offer from Leapfrog of her sewing machine to attach them to whatever item of clothing you decide to grace them with. And finally, both before and after the circle we tucked in to Fire Extinguisher’s tacos, burritos and chocolate cake – yum!
Rock Bottom
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Run: 2075 - 31 July 2022
Hares: Train Wreck and Shagged Out
Location: Glen Road, Darlington
Head Count: Thirty four plus three dogs
The Run
Get a load of that - 34 hashers! The word has spread that we are a class act. “I’ve managed to balance out all the uphills with the downhills” said Train Wreck and as a geologist, he would know. He was ably supported by fellow geologist Shagged Out who delivered a similar message. In spite of their assurances, there was a marked variation in altitude from start to finish. Leapfrog rated the trail as magic with wonderful views and wildflowers and the bonus of a wedge tailed eagle circling overhead being chased by ravens. Well, we didn’t all see the bird display but no argument with her judgement. The descent offered amazing views and the ascent went up the side of a gushing stream. The runners were equally fulsome in their praise so all would have been perfect had there not been an alert for a lost child. Was Teflon Kid lost or had he attached himself to someone else? Various hashers went off in various directions until mystery solved, he had returned to base with Little Weed and Flying Nun on the grounds that, “Dad is too slow”.
The Circle
Train Wreck had brought his family along so GPS welcomed the visitors, Leanne and Mike who said they enjoyed the experience. The hares were awarded a DD for their efforts then the RA offered a DD to Free Beer to calm her nerves. Not much calming was effected since the splash ended up on Skimpy’s face. Yes, well moving right along… The RA was disappointed with the lack of gore so GPS proffered a pathetic scratch on his arm and managed to squeeze a drop of blood out of it.
Other charges were:
Mental Disorder on Topless, something to do with certain fabrics irritating her skin (I think)
Pink Bits on Light My Fire for putting the wrong date on Facebook
Reverse charge from Rock Bottom to SNB for being the mysterious Facebook scribe
Mini Disorder for having completed 25 runs (actually it’s now 27)
Other Business
5/10: There was an improvement in the number of people reading the scribe report although there’s still room for a better result. We hope the addition of the rag to Facebook will encourage more readers.
Rock Bottom
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Run 2074 - 24 July 2022
Hare: El Keeno
Location: Glenburn Road, Mahogany Creek
Head Count: Twenty six plus two dogs
The Run
In fact that should have been 25 and a half, the half being Little Weed and no, not for her diminutive size but for the fact that she arrived late and missed the first part of the walk (see below). Back to the trail – a great location with heaps of well-marked tracks. We walkers meandered through the bush and eventually followed the power lines back to base while the runners were all over the place like headless chooks (more on chooks later) but all returned and, for a change, no one got lost and there were no injuries.
The Circle
A few keen pyromaniacs lit a fire and this time there were no community-minded locals to dob us in to the fire brigade. Leapfrog did her best to hijack the circle by press-ganging people to commit to food for the Dryandra w/e. Eventually she was silenced and the GM kicked off the circle.
He welcomed himself back and awarded himself and Light My Fire a DD on the grounds that no one else would then proceeded to give us a report on his recent hash jaunt to the Cocos and Christmas Islands. Now wouldn’t you think that a tale involving the fauna of Christmas Island would mention red crabs, crazy ants, boobies, noddies, owls or frigate birds? Well you’d be wrong, the highlight of our GM’s holiday was a chook that shat on his shoe. We are nothing if not refined in the Hills Hash.
Pink Bits in her role as acting RA took control of the charges which included:
El Keeno for an excellent run
Leapfrog for trying to hijack the circle
Snake Charmer for trying to self-immolate
Little Weed for arriving late and dressed in civvies rather than hash gear
Big Boy for something. I missed the details.
Score Sheet
10/10: Rock Bottom commended the hashers for an excellent response to the call for volunteers
3/10: RB was not impressed at the number of hashers who don’t read the scribe report, claiming she casts her pearls before swine. We hope for a better response next week.
Rock Bottom
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Run 2073 - 17 July 2022
Hare: Leapfrog and Passiona
Location: Home run – Stevens St, Sawyers Valley
Title: Happy 70th Birthday Passiona
The Run
In spite of the rain, the word had spread that this was to be a special event and so 34 human hashers and five canines rocked up to help Passiona cope with the shock of turning 70. We gathered around the fire awaiting instructions. Thanks to a couple of downpours the hares weren’t sure if the trail markers would still be visible so Passiona accompanied the runners while Leapfrog came along with the walkers. No problem really, the trail was mostly still visible although Wacuda managed to lose trail anyway and took first timer to the Hills Hash, Bell Boy along to teach him a few tricks. We ambled (or ran) through bush tracks then awaited the return of the lost ones. Eventually Big Boy set off to look for his dad but went the wrong way – it must be genetic! However they did finally rock up and so on with the circle.
The Circle
No sign of the GM again so Skippy stepped into the role and almost immediately handed the baton over to the RA who highlighted several causes for rejoicing:
Passiona – a none-too-subtle highly decorated pink birthday T shirt
Spot On – a mug for completing 100 hashes
Pink Bits –a mug for completing (wait for it!) 600 hashes
We sang, “Get a life”.
El Keano then charged Train Wreck and Shagged Out for missing out on setting their run last week owing to the birth of a grandson. Poor timing I hear you say but congrats to the grandparents. I think Mental charged Passiona for the weather. Big Boy scored a DD for getting lost looking for his father who was lost. Were there any other misdemeanours? If so, I missed them because I was distracted by THE FOOD!
And the food kept coming – guacamole, homemade sausage rolls, pizzas galore, banoffee slice to die for and a whacking big chocolate birthday cake. Thank you to all those in the kitchen who produced the feast and thank you Passiona and Leapfrog for hosting the celebration.
Rock Bottom
Run 2072 - 10 July 2022
Hare: Skippy
Location: Darlington Oval
The Run
With less than 48 hours’ notice Skippy stepped in to set us a hash after the designated hares reported being AWOL. Thank you Skippy. However, it must be at least three weeks since he last set a run so probably time he brushed up his skills. Our absentee hares have promised to set a trail when they return from wherever.
In perfect hashing weather we set off up and down some steep paths with the walkers going anti-clockwise and the runners going in the opposite direction. We crossed paths at one stage and compared notes on the treacherous slopes. It was all worth the effort when we got to the stunning Boya quarry followed by a few more hills before returning to base.
The Circle
Twenty two hashers and four dogs rocked up for the hash although Leapfrog tried to inflate the numbers by putting her and Passiona’s names in the book twice. Good try Leapfrog but we’re on to your game! Otherwise, in the absence of the GM, the ever-resourceful hare doubled up as GM and ran the circle. We’d held off for a bit waiting for the return of Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts who appeared from a different direction altogether, saying the hills were too steep so they’d decided to play it safe. In spite of the hills, it was unanimously agreed that it was an excellent trail.
Various gifts were distributed – a 400th run badge to Little Weed for her dedication to hashing and a crazy chicken T shirt to Pick Up Chick who arrived after the run was over bearing two trays of apple crumble to celebrate her birthday. She was rewarded for her efforts with a song and a silly hat.
SNB was charged with disappearing into a puddle and throwing himself down a slope but the RA was so unimpressed with the extent of his injuries, she didn’t think him worthy of a DD. I suspect Wacuda and Scooby Doo have set a very high standard for self-inflicted injuries. El Keano copped a DD for short-cutting, just for a change! And that was it for another successful event.
Rock Bottom
Run 2071 - 3 July 2022
Hare: SNB ably assisted by Rock Bottom and Crusher
Location: Collins Rd, Kalamunda behind the swimming pool
The Run
With the sort of lack of bias you’d expect from a co-hare, may I say that this must surely be a contender for run of the year? I mean, you had it all – perfect weather, a run trail which was well marked, not too flat, not too hilly, not too long and a walk trail to match. Feedback from the 21 people plus three canines who embarked on the run/walk supports my judgement. We are, however, slightly fearful of a visit from the environmental officer from the local shire intending to lay charges against Crusher for his reckless distribution of far too many mega-sized W’s. I did warn him, several times!
The Circle
After a year as head honcho, the GM hasn’t yet managed to rip us into shape. He kicked off the circle by telling us he’s still disappointed in us. We need to try harder chaps.
Down downs were then awarded to:
The hare and co-hares
Scooby Doo who’s off to Thailand
Skippy for something to do with nudes on the rocks
Mental Disorder for completing 25 runs
SNB for re-cycling
Little Weed scored a reverse charge for trying to dob a fellow hasher in for their shoes which weren’t new after all
Wacuda, ever the attention-seeker. He couldn’t legitimately get lost when the hash was almost in his back yard so he threw himself down on the ground and had a bleeding arm to show for it
There might have been a few more involving Downhill, Leapfrog and Little Weed but I couldn’t quite hear so lost the plot at that stage. It was getting very cold, time to pack up.
Run 2068
DOSH & WACUDA Serve Up Their Usual Torment !
The great weather brought out the best of willing Hashers so we had a big turnout. There were a number of participants from Freo Hash which was really good ! The Hares did a chalk talk and set us off towards a promised drink stop. (with a view) It was a really pleasant stroll (mad dash if you wanted ...) on a relatively flat trail. There were a few up hills and down dales but mostly manageable. Runners were heard now and then, via the horn, but rarely seen ! The trail occasionally was poorly marked so walkers were milling about like ants looking for trail. However, at the magnificent drink stop all was forgiven ...
No-one got lost and we were back at the start with 2 cakes beckoning to be eaten ... The GM called the circle and gave the Hares a much deserved down-down but also the pack indicated that it was a good run ...
New RA (DOSH) handed out a few charges including the 2 birthday girls ! .... DOSH and Free Beer (Free Beer got to wear the silly hat !) We sang Happy Birthday ... There were charges from the floor for Topless (no Hash Gear) and Skippy (over achieving - extracurricular running almost a Marathon)
We then sang the song and got to devouring the cakes .... lovely !
On On
Pink Bits xxx (for, she hopes, the last time as Scribe for now !)
2067 Sunday 19th June
40 Years Of Hills Hashing A Hit !
A fantastic turnout for this huge milestone for Hills Hash. Numerous *old* T-Shirts were adorning the walls and the bodies of Hashers ! Lets just say the weather was rubbish but there were a few moments of sunshine in between the showers. It was cold with a wind chill factor of 'LOTS' ..... The lake looked lovely with perfect weather for ducks ...
The brave Hare's, Leapfrog & Passiona, had great ideas for the run/walk but in the end, there was just a lot of lime scattered here and there for runners, (mostly there) and a saunter around the lake for walkers. The umbrellas/raincoats were useful but there was never a deluge !
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Leapfrog and Pink Bits were busy warming up the soups on the BBQ and preparing for the Awards presentations. Speeches were practised and the dance routine perfected !
Once the pack started to return, the beverages were most welcomed (bit cold eh Dripper ? More ice yet ... ?) There was a huge array of memorabilia, thanks to Hash Historian Leapfrog, and many a laugh was had looking over the photos ! Eventually, the old GM tried to call the pack to order (easier herding chickens) and got on with the business of dishing out a 200 run foot for Scooby Doo (We DO know your REAL name !) before he leaves for warmer climes ...
Then the Hares got a justifiable down down for the run - followed by the RA getting the same for not keeping the rain at bay (His excuse was he had done enough LAST week !)
Continuing in the age old tradition, we then had the new committee/awards - the pack was waiting with baited breath .... highlight of the day .... all of that !
It went as follows:
Most current position holders remained the same except :
New (OLD) GM - GPS (chosen last week whilst he was sick with COVID - (be aware ... don't turn up and you will get a job !)
New Vice - ???? maybe Franger ??? (see above) No ... it's Skippy ...
New RA - DOSH (who reckons she will be boring ... as if ...!)
New On Sec/Hash Scribe/Hash Hacker -Rock Bottom & Crusher (thank you - thank you - thank you)
Hash Splash - Dripper (again thank you)
Hash Nosh - Light My Fire - (another vote of thanks)
There are others but I won't elaborate ...
THANKS TO ALL !
AWARDS - Joint Hares of the Year - Skippy & Dipper
- Hound of the Year - Dripper ... (get a life)
- Monks Perpetual Trophy - Pink Bits (aw gee thanks !)
- The Hash Dash Award - Spot On (Well done)
- SCB Award - El Keeno (who else .... a truly existential experience)
- Hash Crash Award (Golden Flat Foot - crafted & donated by Leapfrog) - Flying Nun
- Run of the Year - Skippy - Nudes on the Rocks Run (as voted by the pack)
- Special *Getting Lost in Style* Award - Young, Wild & Free - Madonna
We were starting to get very cold so we got Hash Horn Skippy to play a note and Passiona led us into our song ... It was rousing and well executed ... !
Then on to hot soups, provided by a bunch of Harriettes as well as some sweets and cute edible gingerbread feet (as opposed to wet soggy Hashers feet (YUK)
Thank you one and all for helping to make our special event such fun .. Also, thanks to all who made the effort to turn up ... ! X
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2066 Sheep Shunter & Light My Fire Put On A Great Show !
Ominous skies and windy conditions were what we encountered at the Kings Meadow venue. Surprisingly, we had a great turnout and, after the run instructions were given (& a drink stop promised ...) we set off together on a pleasant path along the river, mostly quite flat. Runners soon disappeared but you could hear the horn. As an amusing aside, a member of the public stopped a couple of Hashers and asked who we were ???? mentioning that she thought the horn was an interesting frog sound ! ! ! You have to laugh ...
The trail had one iffy glitch which had walkers clambering over very rocky terrain under a bridge. (Not sure if runners went the same way.) Eventually, we wound up at the drink stop and enjoyed a refreshing beverage. Sadly, the trail home was still quite a distance but fortunately the rain kept off all the way.
Back in the circle LMF provided delicious dumplings, then with our Vice GM in attendance, charges were handed out to the Hares for a job well done and for making it a long run. Then the RA got an accolade for holding off the rain and dished out down-downs to a few unlucky Hashers including himself.
We sang our song and still the rain kept off ... amazing !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2065 The Run That Had It All & Some .....
It started out as a bit of a Hash clean up at the venue as there was a lot of rubbish lying around - we collected a full bag of stuff plus a few dollars worth of cans and bottles ... Seems the area is a hoon hangout ! However, it was an ordinary Sunday run, .... except there was some trepidation as Skippy was the Hare ! The venue was the lovely John Forrest National Park so we were aware there would be a lot of hills ...
Skippy uttered the scary words *vicious descent* for both runners and walkers. He also mentioned the probable distance of 6km for the walkers and 9km for runners with the added recommendation that once descending you were committed and had to keep going.... Ominous words indeed !
The brave and fearless forged ahead but a few of us decided to turn back after about 1.5 km and return.
Knowing the run was fairly long, we had instructions to light a very small fire as it would be cold as soon as the sun set (it was a REMARKABLE sunset) Eventually a few walkers appeared , some bloodstained (Hashing is dangerous) and relieved to be back. Then a straggle of runners dribbled in .... eventually we gathered around the said fire chatting only to realise that we were one Hasher missing ... Things got a bit worrying as it became darker and darker (thank goodness for the fire !)
Skippy and a band of fellow Hasher Heroes went running back to look for the lost ... In the meantime a party bus arrived right by us ... no ... wait .... it was actually a LARGE FIRE Truck with the small one behind it ... Some burly firies got out and indicated we were in the wrong by lighting the fire (a concerned citizen had phoned the station !)
We assured them we were only a bunch of similarly concerned citizens looking for our lost friend and not a bunch of hoons ! The fire would be extinguished as soon as he was back ...
It was a happy ending in that we were all reunited - had a 30 second circle - threw massive amounts of water on the fire and went for a curry ...
It was different - you had to be there - it was memorable.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
PS. GPS resigned from GM position but then re-instated himself as soon as the fire brigade left ... was funny !
N O T E - 4pm starts from now on - Winter time
2064
Oh ... What Fun ... !
It was sooo good .... Dripper, Pink Bits & Slippery Nuts set a fabulous run in Bassendean - runners had 7km and walkers had 3.5 km
Easy, flat and picturesque ...
What more can you ask for ...
BBQ afterwards ...
On On
Pink Bits (restricted in length of report due to weariness and business)
2063 The Plan B - Run ! or The Don't Fence me In Run !
Despite wet wintry weather, a good number of Hashers turned up for GPS' run. He had slogged for 3 hours setting an interesting run and walk only to have it all washed out before anyone got there. He was disappointed ...
Giving his chalk talk, he advised that he was going to have to be the live Hare for the walkers, whilst Skippy was to be the runners guide. Skippy had only a moment's notice so took this job on with some apprehension! (no ... not really but it adds to the drama)
We set off towards the bushy tracks and trails around the new development in Bushmead. The rain kept off for the whole hour ... amazing ! The walk was relatively flat and did not involve being trapped behind fences (see runners details)
Runners had a good run, no trail to speak of due to rain so Skippy acted as trailblazer. Sometimes he hit a fence, found a kangaroo door, or found a weak point in the fencing. Franger followed the trail for a while, then did his own thing, and apparently managed to avoid the fences.
Walkers were led out of the bush track into the housing area that was in a state of *much new house building* as well as established homes. It was a very pleasant walk around with GPS carefully herding the walkers pack (just like a Mother Hen !)
Back at the start, the circle was called and there were numerous accolades and charges for the Hare and his understudy !
There were a few charges for the usual shortcutters and Franger (of course)
Also, there was a special presentation of a 25 run foot to Slippery Nuts (well done - *get a life* was his song)
We then sang the Hash song with more gusto than usual and departed into a dark and windy night.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2062. The City View Run !
El Keeno, as usual, was very excited to be this week's Hare as he is still aiming for *Run of the Year* The venue was the lovely J F National Park with 180* views and on a mild day. The pack assembled and was not so pleased to hear that he had got lost setting the run part. The directions were a trifle vague as he said you could go there and back at the HH (Hash Halt - new to us but we like a challenge)
Runners and walkers set off in similar directions then parted ways. Trail was quite well marked and the Hare did his best to keep an eye out for stragglers. From all accounts, walkers found it a pleasant trail, not too tricky and were back in 50 mins. The runners horn could be heard up the valley, down the valley and in all points between. Gosh, had they got as far as the airport ???
Back in the circle, we welcomed a new Hasher (nice to meet you ! Well done on the run ...) Then the Hare got a few down-downs for all sorts of Faux Pas 's. The RA took over and managed to have a few Hashers get a very cold beverage but each and everyone was justified !
Another great run in Paradise !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2061
Mother's Day Pinny Run !
A large pack turned up on Mothers Day, most wearing the required aprons to pay homage to Mum's who DO wear aprons ! The Hare, Downhill, had chosen a great spot in the wilds of Mt Helena, on another lovely sunny afternoon.
Once the GM gathered us all in, the Hare indicated a pleasant walk but a somewhat longish run ! It was all well marked and walkers would veer away from runners to follow W's.
Walkers and runners were on the same track for the first part, with the Hare kindly checking the checks were marked off. We had a very pleasant walk in open bushland which was virtually flat. Eventually the runners and walkers parted company and continued on their respective trails.
It was a relatively short walk back and we were treated to a post-run drink stop !
It was a good while before the runners came in and looked hot and bothered !
Circle was called and the Hare was given a down-down for his efforts but congratulated on a good run !
The RA took over to dispense charges and there were just a few. Of significant note this week the S C B was SURPRISINGLY GPS who had been sprung by walkers watching him brazenly criss-crossing through the bush !
Finally, there was a short discussion that Leanne, who had been coming to Hills Hash for a while, was due for a naming .... after much laughter, and a slight misdemeanor on her part, she now bears the name *** TOPLESS*** You had to be there ... !
Then we sang the song and departed for some curry !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2060
The Run That was Not That Long ... or ... The Pina Colada Run
The Hare's, Dripper for run and Pink Bits & Slippery Nuts for the walk, set the run on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. The initial indications were that it was a bit of a long walk (average length run)The pack was of significant size and was excited to be advised that there was a drink stop !
Runners and walkers went off in separate directions.The run was along the bridle path with diversions into the bush. It was a typical Dripper eun - fiendish in places, not obvious, and with false trails to catch the pack. The markings were good, and at one stage Dripper had even laid a brand new sand road for the runners to use.
The drink stop was welcomed, but afterwards there was no runners trail which caused great confusion, DOSH and PK nearly did the trail again, whilst a couple of the others didn’t realise their mistake and did an extra 3km loop.
The walkers were sent into a delightful huge patch of gently undulating bush. The trail was marked exceptionally well so no one could have got lost.
On arrival at the drinks stop there was a Pina Colada waiting and a few lolly snakes etc.
The walkers had obviously forged ahead at speed as the whole trail only took about 50 minutes. Back at the start, GPS gathered the pack for the circle. The Hares were given the usual down-downs. Then the RA got to his business but was short on charges (must have been a good run) There was a doozy for GPS for getting lost on the way to the venue ! Other charges were administered (can't remember), however, there was a memorable naming for young Jaxon who now proudly bears the name *BIG BOY* Well done !
Thus ended another great run with Hills Hash ! Song was sung with gusto ... !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2059
Skippy Shows Off His Skippy Pals - Plus Some Raunchy Views !
This week we were saying farewell to the John Forrest Tavern, nestled in the John Forrest National Park. It will be closing by the end of May.
A large pack was excited as there was a drink stop at the tavern and later a subsidised dinner there as well !
Skippy directed runners and walkers towards their respective trails that were very well marked, but being Skippy, they were likely to be long and somewhat hilly. After a long wait (for those of us with the important task of getting the drinks organised) the first of the walkers arrived at the drink stop, followed shortly by some runners ... and then some more ... then the rest ! It was indeed a long run and the refreshment was welcome. It seems the delay was due to a bunch of nudists relaxing on granite rocks ..... There were, apparently, some eye popping views ... We have everything at Hash ! It was at the drink stop that Skippy had gathered his skippy mates, some well endowed big boys, who milled around just like Hashers do ! Lovely ...
As GM was busy cavorting up the coast and the Vice GM was over East, Pink Bits, as stand-in GM, did her best to compose the slightly twitchy pack. The run was deemed very good (Run of the Year contender ? Where were you El Keeno ?) Down-down for Skippy ! Charges came thick and fast for the *new shoe wearers* - 3 in all and let me say, they were game to consume their drinks out of their shoes ! Well done all ...
Otherwise there was a long-time-no-see ... Pullet ... down-down for him, plus a few other charges.
As it was the day before Anzac Day, Skippy did a great rendition of *The Last Post* before we sang the song and many of the pack came to dinner at the Tavern, which was a fun night.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Crusher and Rock Bottom's Run
It was really great ... undulating open bushland, very well marked and a super drink stop with quality pink wine ... What more could you ask for ....
Well, just maybe a small gardening accident ... Flying Nun coming a cropper ... No real lasting damage (we hope)
Short and sweet this week ... Some of us are busy ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2057
The Run That Could Have Been Washed Out But Wasn't !
It was wet and wild as the pack sat in cars waiting till the very last minute before getting out - As more and more Hashers arrived (and the area was becoming a jam packed car park) the heavens opened and there was a significant deluge ...
Just then, as we HAD to gather for the circle, there was a window of opportunity as the sun tried to shine through the clouds. The Hare, El Keeno, advised that the drink stop consisted of standing anywhere with mouth open as the rain came down ! (No incentive then ...Nit-wit) There was a walkers and runners trail with some confusing info about markings of arrows etc. Still, off we went, umbrellas in hand, hoping it would not rain .... A very well marked and interesting walk intersecting for a short time with runners (although the horn could be heard from time to time ... ) It was a reasonably long run and miraculously ! ... it did not rain all the way. (Well done RA) However, the runners did return somewhat wet and damp from sweat !
Circle was called by GPS (who was a bit in a hurry ... and grumpy) - Firstly, the Hare was praised with a down-down for an unbelievably good run (lies ...) We welcomed back Little Weed, Flying Nun (both from at least 3 months absence) & The Disorder Family (working)
After that, there were a couple of charges for (amongst others ...?) Leapfrog before we sang the song in a hurry (looming dark clouds...) and scattered !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
The Defibrillator Run (or so it felt)
The small boutique bunch of Hashers met at the park where we are usually lulled into thinking it will be a gentle run and walk but .... NO .... not for the fainthearted with DOSH and WACUDA doing the honours !
The Hares fooled us with the old 'there is a drink stop' off-hand mention. So we were game and set off .... all in a similar direction to shortly have runners and walkers doing a delightful criss-crossing of trails ... This had been a golf course so very reasonably flat yet undulating gracefully.
Those in the know are fully aware that there is a deadly edge to the course ... more of a ravine and block and tackle track ! Oh don't get me wrong, the views are spectacular (once climbed up to the top ... huff n' puff) and honestly there are nice bits here and there ... mostly there ...
Suffice to say, the runners had a very good, extremely long, workout with false trails in abundance, while the walkers had to navigate areas of granite rock - vertically !
Once getting to the drink stop, (stunning views ... I've seen them before !!!) we were grateful for the rest and refreshment. Some of the walkers remained to wait for the runners who could be heard but not seen for ages. The way back was very cleverly chosen for those of a height advantage (i.e. GPS) You had to bend double to navigate the very low growing - ultra SPIKY - shrubs ... More torture devised for the walkers .... Well done to Dripper (still injured so waking) and GPS for being so familiar with the area they missed the whole Hobbit wormhole. (Down downs for you - you rotters)
Back at the start, we assembled close to the defibrillator fortunately. The circle started with a Welcome Back & Down-downs to 2 long-time-no-sees Pat Pom and Snake Bite, then proceeded to congratulate the Hares on a great run (what .... ?) There were charges for Dripper and GPS (Yay), for Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts for sex on the run (Don'd be silly ... I needed mouth-to-mouth resus) for El Keeno for something important and, I think, for Skippy for something significant (probably watching the Dockers annihilate the Eagles... whoopee)
We then concluded with the club song and departed for Thigh On The Hill for a wonderful repast.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Next week's run: HARE's - DOSH & WACUDA On On: Jorgensen Park
Kalamunda
(At 4 pm)
Delightful Darling (ton) Run !
The pack assembled at the Darlington Oval amid the usual dog walkers and fanciers ... The Hares directed us to the on-on jointly for runners and walkers. We sauntered quickly along the old train track which was flat and, obviously, had the walkers thinking this was a piece of cake ! Not so, as we turned a corner to find the trail went up and up over unsteady rocky terrain, best left to Territorial Army manoeuvres .... Giddy with nose bleeds & and lack of oxygen, we did get magnificent vista views over the city (good place for a drink stop .....) We trudged on and on on the exceedingly well marked trail (no chance of getting lost) until we arrived back at the start. We waited a while for the runners to come in .... and they did, from numerous directions, looking quite puffed. We did hear the horn from time to time ... the run was quite long by all accounts ...
As the GM was off at a GM's Conference, and Vice was missing in action, Pink Bits took over the very difficult job of whipping the pack into some sort of order.
The Hares were given the expected down down (job well done) and a few of the pack were charged for their wrong doings ...
We had a couple of new runners (walkers) who enjoyed the experience and even joined us for a meal afterwards. Jess was charged for looking *hot* all the way through the circle .... Ha Ha !
We sang our song again to the amusement of a few Darlingtonians ..... Thus ended another Hash run ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
*4pm next week *
Run 2055 Sunday 20th March
A Notable Run
The run of 20/3 was set by Skippy from the rotunda/shelter near the Mundaring Scout Hall. Numbers were down somewhat, partly because several of the usual Hashers, including regular scribe, were involved in the presentation of a Shire supported music concert at the time. The latter was taking place at the open air amphitheatre around 100 metres away.
The run was some kind of St Patrick's day run as this had taken place only a few days beforehand. The Green was pretty diluted as only 2 of the group had the wardrobe and personal organisation skills to be wearing green.
The Hare's briefing included a declaration that it would be impossible to get lost. Not getting lost and being impossible to get lost are different concepts but the trail did actually work very well.
The runner's and the walker's trails both made good use of the available bushland in the area and included Martin Road and the recreation centre. Both groups were caught out several times by the trails heading away from Home when we anticipated directions. Apparently, the runners covered 8.1 km though with judicious shortcutting by some, this constituted the maximum amount.
This was Madonna”s 666th run so he wore his T shirt from when it was the 666th run undertaken by the Hash. He very kindly produced a bottle of champagne to mark the occasion. The 3 or so of us who were also present at the Club's 666th run enjoyed priority access though we did leave some for the peasants.
We sang our song to finish up with though what the nearby concert audience thought of it remains unknown. Certainly no one approached us to ask if we had CD's for sale
Courtesy of *Downhill*
(Thanks from P B xxx)
Run 2054
El Keeno Delivers !
Gathering at the Bilgoman Pool car park, we were alerted to the fact that Dripper was instead choosing Mt Helena Pool car park. As he is our Splash, we gave him an extra 5 minutes and he arrived just in time !
The Hare, El Keeno, advised that there was a walk and run marked and set us off in the similar direction. We ambled on shady tracks that were not too challenging for Darlington. Runners and walkers crossed paths here and there, and the horn could be heard frequently.
It was a bit of an uphill slog at the very end for all of us but I suspect the runners had more hills than walkers. They looked a bit puffed coming back !
El Keeno was busy herding in the pack - very commendable - and we all arrived back at the start.
After a short refreshing break, the GM called the circle, & the Hare was given a down-down for an exceedingly good run - very well marked !
Up next came the somewhat lost Dripper but I think we all felt a bit sorry for him as he got the Lame Duck Award as well ! There was a significant amount of red running down his arms (sounds good but it was not wine !) At time of writing he is ok if a bit sore !
This was a significant run for El Keeno (get a life) of 400 runs and he was awarded the 400 foot. Amazing achievement .... We welcomed a new runner - Scumbag - hope you enjoy our runs in the hills.
There may have been some other charges that GM and RA felt were appropriate. We sang the song and went on our merry ways ....
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2053
The Joint Run with the H V Cricket Club - (Winners)
There was some confusion and consternation as Hashers arrived at the rather packed car park in Boya. Dripper, todays Hare, had slightly misjudged the awesome support the H V Cricket players had at our meeting place. Still, we all found a parking spot, gathered and were given some *flour talk* mainly as there was a shortage of flour but, that here was a run and a walk and the direction of the on-on.
The walkers started off with a daunting climb up a significant hill (still warm weather ... groan) The trail was reasonably well marked - if a little sparse in places and I believe it was the same for the runners.
Walkers were back much sooner than the runners who had a fair distance to cover.
Once the GM called a circle, the Hare was reprimanded for too much road and not enough flour ! A regular Hasher, at last, came clean with the Hash name he had been bestowed with overseas *Pig Trap* so he was awarded with a giant cucumber ! Welcome !
Then the RA got on with the business of dishing out a few charges (short cutters etc) and a charge from the floor was for Snake Charmer, who had mislaid his Gran's mug last week and had ginger beer going up his nose this week !
We then competed with those winning cricketers to sing OUR song ... theirs was all about being *On The Piss Again* - No, wait, could that have been a Hash song as well ???
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2052
The *Flour In Short Supply* Run !
This week we were meeting at the hall in Parkerville. Right at the start, there was a parking misdemeanor which caused the whole pack to become lemmings and follow suit .... funny !
The Hare, Porno King, advised that due to flour shortage, the trail was marked but sparsely ! There was a run of some length, (with a short-cut if needed) and for the walkers, not a true walk ... just to the pub and back (too short for some walkers so they did their own thing ) There were plenty of bridle paths to keep everyone happy. The weather was a bit milder and not as hot as it had been, which was just as well as PK decided to set a quarter-marathon.
Owing to the flour shortage PK had to spot the dots of trail, as they were easy to overlook (as CSI Dripper found out later in the run). There were more runners than usual and not everyone was looking forward to an unusually long run, most had the shortcut pointed out to them, DOSH and Wacuda had to figure it out themselves, and Dripper regretted not taking it. Special mention to Rockbottom who ran the runners trail, despite distance, hills and 2 very dodgy tree-crossings.
Once we got back to the start, the GM called the circle and gave a quick down-down to Slippery Nuts for his parking faux pas ! Then he gave a magnificent stubby holder to WACUDA for achieving 200 runs ! (Another get a life ...) This was followed by a chastisement for the Hare with his sob story of lack of flour etc. Was still a good run - no-one was lost ... no injuries or blood !
Then the RA got to work dishing out a bit of justice for the long time no-sees and others who he had in his sights. A charge from the floor came for Rock Bottom for losing her Hash mug at the last run ....
We then sang our song a bit and some of us went back to the Parky Pub to get an ear clean out due to the loud band. (Was good though ... ! Didn't last long !)
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2051 - The Not So Distressing Run !
To be honest, on arrival, all you could see was a 360 degree view of hills. Not something we were hoping for this week. The recent heat was getting to everyone so with heavy hearts and feet we were sent on our way by this week's Hare, Darkhorse (complete with girl dog !) Ominously, the pack went together straight up a significant hill. It was the sight of Maid Muffin almost on hands and knees that made a few question if this was indeed what we wanted to do ???
Most of the pack continued on trail, which by all accounts, was sufficiently marked - just.
Runners returned within 45 minutes which was great on a warm day, walkers took a bit longer. GOOD NEWS ... we lost no-one AND there were no injuries ! The runners were rather hot after climbing Lesmurdie mountain, cold beer was very welcome.
Gathering at the start, the GM called a circle and, again, we startled a few members of the public. (We had a couple of young ladies arrive at the beginning of the run who would have had the guys running a bit faster, but they declined joining in - and wandered off to do something else partially clothed according to Pink Bits..)
The Hare was charged for lack of flour - his excuse was shortages at the shops ! Mental Disorder charged Pink Bits for some nonsense involving masks, (you had to be there) GPS confused everyone by mixing up the order of procedure which confused everyone ! In fact, we were a lot confused ... I am a bit sick right now ... very giddy !
Anyway, all was well by the end of the day and we sang our song (ho hum ...) and departed - some for REALLY GOOD Thai food !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2050 - Valentine’s Bush run
Valentine's Day Voluptuous Venture
As per usual, the Hills Hashers were attired in very lairy, sexy, silly and altogether inappropriate lingerie for the Annual Get-Together with Bush Hash. We amassed at the home of Dave the Pom, who very kindly opened up his home and pool, to Hills & Bush Hash.
The Hare's (Dripper & Dave the Pom) indicated that there was a run marked, part of a walk marked and a drink stop ! Not very clear instructions so we all just started off with (apparently) a live Hare , who was too busy interviewing Hashers on trail ! He is, afterall, the king of the local Kalamunda radio !
Walkers were relatively ok on a day of intense heat, delirium, copious thirst & mirage viewing (oh no .. that's just city views - but I swear I saw camels at an oasis) Some of us took a slightly unusual trail and were back at the drink stop in no time, others took a bit longer, but it was the amazing return of the runners that had us all cracking up..... Imagine manly men in pink tutus and/or blond wigs/red frocks/black frocks dripping in sweat, red in face, checking their fishnets ! What a hoot !
After a prolonged drink stop, we returned to the start where .... A POOL awaited the sweaty ones ... Bliss ! It certainly cooled us off and provided many photo opportunities for Hash Flash ... OMG ... see the Facebook page ! There was some consternation as we had a missing Hasher (on a hot day ...) and a few galant Hashers did the run backwards, however, all was well as the Hasher turned up, hot, bothered and very relieved - as were we all.
Then a circle was called by the GM and a surprise RA was introduced. *Where's Wally* from Bush Hash did a great job as RA dishing out charges and accolades for all and sundry ... Best dressed was WACUDA (oh dear) and worst was Dave the Pom (an even bigger OH DEAR)
We then sang our song (with an audience ... is this our first proper public performance ? Where was the hat for donations ?) Then we feasted on nibbles and substantial snacks whilst admiring the views as that hot sun was setting.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2049 - Coal Dam, Woodbridge
The * If It's GPS, It Must Be A Rainy Day* Run
Absolutely living up to his name and reputation, the Hare,GPS, organised the run this week. In a month of horrendously HOT weather, this Sundaywas, well quite wet really. Amazing ... A small devoted bunch of Hashers got together in quite inclement weather to brave the wet and windy conditions. To be honest, it was a pleasure to walk & run in such mild conditions. The walkers were on the same trail as runners for a while then we split and never met up again ! (till the end)
That crafty GPS had us meandering here and there with some cunning train track crossing over and over again ! We certainly were in an area we had not encountered before (as memory serves) and crossed though some nice bits of bush as well.
There was no drink stop so we were back well within the hour.
Runners reported a really good trail, as always, well marked by the Hare. Towards the end of the run, we were given a little detour, just to look at the ducks on the dam BUT ALSO, some of us saw the cutest bunch (4-5) long necked turtles milling about ! Aaaaah !
Back at the hastily convened circle, as the rain started to pound us, we had all the usual charges and then some (malfunctioning poncho wearer ... I ask you) some short cutting on trail and not paying attention to trail markings (should have been a job-lot charge for the Hare)
We hurriedly sang the song and moved on !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2048: The Annual, Held Yearly, BBQ Breakfast Run Wearing Pyjamas !
So much excitement in the build up to this event. Hashers gathered at the Weir to enjoy a rare morning Hash run ... some wearing very alluring *pyjamas* some in ... well ... makes your eyes water !
The Hare's Leapfrog, (somewhat constrained by having her right hand out of action) & Passiona had checked out the trail the day before and said it was short so we could enjoy the Nosh. We scampered off with views of the dam and straight forward run instructions.
Walkers were advised to do their own thing as there was no actual trail marked.... So we headed straight for the dam wall to marvel at the whole construction only to find the walkway was closed at the other side (so much for checking things out the day before) We returned via a number of directions and it was starting to get hot !
The runners had a surprisingly gentle trail to follow, staying completely on the Mundaring-side of the dam. No sins, no mis-steps, and the largest running pack I have seen for a while (double digits). Not too hot, a lot to be said for morning runs in summer🏆
Back at the BBQ, we just got down to a super brekky, cooked by Leapfrog's assistants, Cheech and Pick Up Chick (thanks !) under her steely command. It was absolutely delish and there was not much left ... We were ravenous !?
The GM then called the circle and started by charging the Hare's as usual for a good run but especially Passiona, for not checking the BBQ's as one was not working ... he said it was working on the day before ... Oh dear ...
More charges ... The winner of the most competitive PJ wearer was Dark Horse (Oh those jocks ! 👀) There were some other charges before the newest member, Paul, was given his Hash handle - Slippery Nuts ! ... Well, it was his fault for mentioning to Dosh that the gumnuts were somewhat slippery !
As it was getting warmer, we hurriedly sang the song and packed up leaving no evidence of ever being there .... We are good & tidy Hashers !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2047 - crushing it at Gooseberry Hill
The Runs Just Get Better & Better !
A small but enthusiastic bunch of Hashers got together at a somewhat ominous venue in Gooseberry Hill. The Hare, Crusher, indicated the runners and walkers were on the same trail till the drink stop 😁👍 then veer away. He said it was short, not too hilly or challenging and shady a lot of the way.
Well, it all lived up to expectations, maybe a bit longer than was expected (not too hot today) but great views. Unless of course you end up following Leapfrog in search of a *Book Box* on the road. In which case you add a kilometer or two to the walk .... !
In the circle, GPS admonished the Hare (for a good run) and further charges were administered by the surprise Monk (who I can't remember !) Of note was the Lame Duck/Blood Rule down-down given to the usual suspect WACUDA & to his mate El Keeno. SCB's were noted, namely Passiona and Dark Horse, plus other charges .... all of them were worthy !
We sang the song as usual (badly) and some headed off to the restaurant of choice in this area !
On-On
Pink Bits xxxx
Hi All
Following on from the last Bush Hash Re-Union run, everyone who attended
enjoyed it and enjoyed it so much we have decided to do it again and do it
from our house again and it will again be a joint run with Hills Hash
The Run will be on Sunday Feb 13 from our house - 11 Brie Brie Crescent
Kalamunda - starting at 3pm. The main emphasis will be on a Walk/Jog but
Hills Hash are joining us and they will lay a runners trail. And of course
there is a drinks stop! And even if you don't fancy even a walk please come
anyway.
The KCR 102.5FM Radio Station Outside Broadcast Unit is coming along to
record a mini-documentary to be broadcast at a later date, probably Feb 25.
In true Bush Family Hash tradition wives, husbands, partners, kids,
grandkids are all most welcome.
Also in Bush Hash Tradition it is BYO Grog and pls bring a plate of finger
food to share. I will have a BBQ available if anyone wants to cook.
We have a swimming pool which will be open for business for kids young and
old
COVID restrictions have supposedly ended by then but if they don't we have
plenty of room in our back yard to allow for social distancing and also if
you would prefer to bring your own food rather than a plate to share, there
is no problem with that. Hand sanitiser will also be available.
The Hills Hash Run is designated a "Lingerie" Run being the day before
Valentines Day, but we don't need to comply with that (unless people want
to...)
Any questions pls advise and we look forward to seeing you!!
If you are coming confirmation of that would be appreciated.
ON ON
A got together at
Run 2046 - up and up and up
The Run That Had It ALL !
This week's venue was greeted nervously by the pack as it is notorious for some nefarious activity. Still, The Hare, Skippy, was eagerly awaiting us, albeit with a very wet t-shirt and looking quite worn out !
The chalk talk was more of a warning ... ominous ... there were going to be a LOT of hills ... but also a drink stop (Yay)
A small security contingent remained behind to patrol the area ... as the pack set off. A latecomer, Dark Horse, arrived just as everyone was off and running.
On their return, there was much dirt, dust and a bit of blood. It seems that it had been a somewhat arduous run this week but as Skippy said, "a good run is one where there ARE complaints" Walkers had to navigate some very steep downhill slopes. It was after all the land of the abseilers ! All in all, it was deemed a great run ...
Once the GM called the circle, he was presented with his Birthday Silly Hat ... and as it was Drippers Birthday as well, he was, at last, gifted a Margarita and 3 dancing girls (he so often requests that ! ... ) Thanks ladies for getting into the spirit of things ...
There were a few SCB's and other charges ... Late Horse was duly charged ... lived up to his name somewhat ... As GPS had lost total control of the pack, we decided to sing the song and (groan ... ) don masks ... A few of us went for the usual curry but takeaway ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Whilst the official rehash is still to come (see above) let’s recall the run from the runners perspective. The warning signs were there; hare - skippy, the location - at the foot of a large hill, Skippy's tee shirt - the ball breaker, and his explanation at the start that there was a long run and a not quite so long run.
We set off. The first check had two very short easy false trails - all cleverly designed to create a false sense of security. And then the trail went up, and up, and then down again straight through the bush. Eliciting the first cries of “ow” and “sh*t” that were to become the replacement for “On-On” during this epic challenge.
The trail went up, round a bit and down to a large false trail designed to prevent running over the edge of the quarry. Amazing views that were swiftly forgotten as we ran (read Slow Slogged) our way to the top. Here the trail split and runners could choose between a long or shorter run. All being oxygen starved and deliriously exhausted by that time chose the LONG run and so we cantered down a gentle path. Easy… but no… more UP.
Some scrambling down a potentially treacherous path to a welcome drink and sugary snakes stop, then more treacherous path down towards home. Dosh and Dripper did some of this trail very stylishly on their bottoms, whilst Skimpy blew out his knee.
A gentle jog through the trees and back to the start, to find our cars…. INTACT!
A good and memorable run that my legs will recover from eventually!
Thanks
PK
Run 2045 from sawyers Valley Substation
A Well Constructed Run !
There we were, gathering at the venue (or not in some cases) with the Hare, Downhill, acting as a Hash foot on the highway (with an actual foot too !) A few mis-directions had been posted ...
A very grand bunch of Hashers were raring to go & the Hare did not disappoint ! He also reminded us that it was the anniversary of the passing of Uphill ... a very poignant moment ... RIP Jenni xxx
He gave out some convoluted instructions that involved us going into (or not) bush bits as otherwise we had to follow the pipeline !
Well, let me say, the pipeline HAD to be crossed and ... with short legs was a challenge for some ... (hands up shorties !)
It was a lovely walk on a very shady flat track that suddenly (oh shit .. ) went up a hill that looked not too bad .. BUT WAS !
(Runners bit inserted by PK)
The run was good, some good false trails to catch-out the front runner of the moment and allow the others to catch-up. (Free Beer did well on the first half, taking a break from immediate family). We wound round what might have been a dam, but no water in sight alas… and then a car and drink stop. Jubilation, beer, champers, water, snakes and allsorts!😀 Free Beer gave us all a lovely Happy New Year toast, before joining her family on the walk.
We looked up and saw a dusty slippery downhill trail, followed by a huge looming hill! Luckily the trail only went 2/3rds of the way up the hill, then headed off through shady trees to the substation. Home was just on the other side - except for Skippy who found the 4.5kms too short and went off to skip some more. Cold beer beckoned for the rest of us…..
(Back to Pink Bits)
Suddenly, we were upon the drink stop (most welcome) and very good too .. ! After that it was plain sailing (not literally) down and up to the start (I heard Maid Muffin saying her heart rate reached a colossal rate ... we Hashers are tough !) So much pipeline ... so little water ... !
The stand-in (fab) GM - Pink Bits x - called the circle (and as usual no-one paid any attention) The run was considered very good ... well done Downhill ... A charge or two went to DOSH and PK for mixing it up with the venue (could be a future challenge eh ?) Passiona, El Keeno and someone else were charged for short cutting or something else, and, of course, the Birthday Girl - Leapfrog - got a teeny-weeny bubbly down-down !
It was a fun event again as usual ... We love our Hash !
We tried the song again - um err - not getting better .. However, the curry dinner afterwards was great !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2044 from Swan View railway station
Hates. Sheep Shunter, Light My Fire and some help from GPS
An eager crowd of 25ish has hers from Hills H3, Freo H3 and Friday H3 (the city one) gathered at the railway station carpark looking down the hill towards the city, or up the hill behind and wondered was it up then down, or down then up!
The walkers set off sort of level, whilst the 5 runners went up, then down, then up, then up again, then finally down to a drink stop. At last liquid relief, as running 6kms in 33 deg heat with no water or beer is no joke.
There were checks, and false trails, and more hills. Poor Dripper was dripping with sweat, D-Cell was remembering having set orienteering over the area and how hilly it was, SNB was front-running like a mountain goat. The runners never saw the walkers, or much except bush and hills - although I started hallucinating about ice-cream at one point.
After the drink stop it was a km down the old railway track through the cool but DARK tunnel. Back at the start cold beer and ice-cubes down the back (courtesy of Pick-Up Chick) who managed to turn up late.
The circle was called by GPS and run and walk reports followed. Then Pick-Up was asked to explain why she was late (forgot the time doing housework). Free Beer was given a free beer at the same time for chatting in the circle. Sheep Shunter received a thank-you drink, then the Monk did his bit. He let Skimpy have the circle (never a good plan), then D-Cell received a welcome almost being a regular hills hasher.
Chips had been replaced with Italian cake, pavlova and dim sums- great start to the year! So after the hash song was sung there was nothing but munching for a while. Then home ..
Happy New Year to all
Porno King
Boxing Day run
(Rehash submitted by our Hash psychic Pink Bits)
HOT HOT HOT BOXER SHORTS Run
The Hills Hash Harriers are a very robust bunch ! In ridiculously hot conditions, (a Perth record for this time of year) the pack gathered around a cool cup of water, ready to take on the worst that DOSH and WACUDA could dish out. They, being very cool beings, had been up since 2am scouring every possible hill, incline and devilish HOT spot, to inflict on the already HOT pack (HOT pack, is that something you put on sore muscles ? - can see a need for that in the near future)
As some of the pack had turned up with injuries sustained whilst having some Christmas games, the run and walk were quite short. Mostly to the air-conditioned pub for a long slow cooling beverage !
Then it was back to the circle, and that cool cup of water (now suitable for a cup of tea) GM (was he even there ?) charged everyone for being HOT and himself for being more cool than DOSH & Wacuda !
Passiona got a down-down for short-cutting (as usual) and Dripper for too much dripping (more than usual)
Everyone in Boxer shorts got a down-down for showing too much leg (?) ... who shows legs on a day like today ... really ...
Skippy got fined for being too athletic in the heat ... Leapfrog was charged for trying to wallow in a bit of mud in someone's pond ! Pole Dancer and Belt Up were fined for not being present !
Dripper celebrated his 800th and received his hash foot to commemorate the momentous event.
Then we tried to sing but with our dry lips so it wasn't that good again ...
On-On
Pink Bits (deliriously hot)
xxx
The Magical Christmas Run
Hills Hashers know how to have a great party and this was a fine example ! We got together to celebrate another year at DOSH and WACUDA's home. The garden looked stunning and we were very excited at the prospect of a sumptuous paella to round off the day.
First however, the Hares gave us run instructions (the runners trail set by a stern faced WACUDA who indicated that it was his present for them and was of a substantial length .... oh dear)
Walkers and runners set off in opposite directions - never to meet again on the run - The walk was mostly on roads with slight uphill inclines, but nothing too heavy. The run was apparently quite taxing and was a decent challenge.
We all eventually got to the drink stop, which was very excellent ! Walkers were first and as they were leaving, runners trickled in ...
Back at Christmas Central, there was a cook busily concocting a repast of delicious aromas. We settled down to a few aperitifs and then the food was ready !
With full stomachs, we were summoned to the circle by the very excited GM, GPS, who may have not been at all disappointed ! Visitors Wisecrack and Spackle were welcomed and rated the run as very good indeed. A long-time-no-see, Red Light, was given a down-down. Following on, the RA dished out his usual debatable charges, including Scooby Doo getting the Lame Duck award (must be a record) Then there were a few from the floor, including Dripper for wrecking some of DOSH's plants with his driving. May have been something to do with his man-flu. Nothing of any significance, however, we then moved to name a new Hasher.
Poc wanted a *cool* name so GPS (in his wisdom) threw a few around until the pack settled on .......... SNOWFLAKE !!! How cool is that ! ! !
We sang the song then got into the chaotic series of games arranged by Leapfrog with winners gatting buckets of goodies. Oh ! The fun just went on and on ... but the night didn't and we melted into the cooling evening.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Sunday 12th December
Run 2042 run report
The - Are There Any Hills In Darlington We Missed ? - Run
Great turn-out at the Darlington Oval on a warm, but not overly hot, Sunday. There was a surprise for the GM at the start of the circle, as he was presented with a magnificent " 601 Disappointing Runs'' T-shirt. Well done to the design team !
Then the Hares, Trainwreck and Shagged Out, were excited to tell the pack about the run and we were directed to the On-On. It started off quite well, but after the first 60 seconds, we were groaning as the hills did not stop. One after another, they just materialized .... of course being in this area we did expect some hills ... just not all of them ! After what seemed like an age, there was a drink stop (yay) and a very good one too, Runners were somewhat overcome by the length of the trail and got to the refreshment station a bit puffed ! So many ups and downs ....
Walkers glimpsed the runners every now and then in small groups, mostly walking ! You could hear the horn faintly in the distance (wilting ?) as we got back to the start.
Once the circle was called, the Hares were given a well deserved down-down for a very good run - well marked so no-one got lost. We had a few charges from the floor but some got reversed so things got confusing (were we still delirious from the long run ?) There was a bit of business to discuss around our Christmas party run next week so hope everyone was listening .....
We sang the song and had a great BBQ together. Hashing is fun !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Sunday 5th December
Run 2041 run report
Is It A Bird ? Is It A Plane ? ... Nooooo ... It's A View !
Views there were a-plenty at the venue chosen by the Hares - SNB & Poc. We admired the wonderful vista, noting the BIG hill to one side and the STEEP valley below. So, knowing full well there would be hills, run instructions were given and a drink stop was promised.
Walkers and runners set off in the same direction but soon veered apart. To say the run was steep is incorrect ..... it was very steep and where there's an up, there must be a down ! The walkers were first at the drink stop but with a smattering of runners who appeared in dribs and drabs ... mostly dribs due to heat and sweat ! It was a very hot day .... The drink stop was most welcome, it was nice and icy with some snacks thrown in ....
Back in the circle, the Hares were commended for even setting the run on such a hot day but everyone liked the run .... The GM was somewhat upset at the On Sec as the fact he had managed to do 600 runs had not been noted (oh poor him !) Once the Monk got going, Passiona got charged for obviously short cutting (he missed a fair bit of the trail) and Pink Bits and her COMRADE had a down-down for catching a lift back to the start. DOSH was the lucky recipient of the Lame Duck award and there were other Hashers who slipped and skidded down the track ! (Did I mention it was steep ?) Leapfrog traversed the very steep descent with the aid of a bit of log and Flying Nun on the other side ... Who'd have thought you could have such fun on a Hash run ???
We eventually sang the song and some of us scuttled off to eat good food and drink nice wine ...
On On
Pink Bits xxxx
Run report 1. - The West Coast Hash 1000 at Lake Leschenaultia (Saturday 27th Nov)
On a hot and clammy Saturday afternoon, the West Coast Hash club celebrated their 1000th Run. A few Hills Hashers braved the event as, obviously, it was in our backyard ! Having walked the length and breadth of the campgrounds, these few Hashers were unable to find the ACTUAL registration point, despite the Hash splash van trailer being prominently displayed at the edge of the lake !
Of course, there was Camp Leschenaultia 400 mtrs from the lake that the WC Hash had camped at, just to confuse those who had not ventured here before.
Eventually, the run set off at 3.15 (wait for it ....) The trail was confusing for walkers, some of whom gave up and just went round the lake. The run apparently was really good and we did manage to find one drink stop !
As for the circle, well Hills Hash decided that the Chidlow Pub was as good as any place to have our own circle ... Say no more ....
Run 2040 - Run report 2. - Crusher's Really, Really Nice Run ! (Sunday 28th Nov)
Just for a change, Crusher had arranged the run on a very shady trail in a venue that was relatively flat. His chalk talk did mention one biggish hill but after the drink stop, there was hope for most of us to manage it !
Indeed it was a very pleasant run, meandering through some lovely pretty bushland. The drink stop, that everyone got to, was well stocked with bubbly, beer and soft drinks ... something for everyone ! The Hare had a Hare Raising 4 wheel drive to get to it so thank you for going well beyond the call of duty ...
Back at the circle with everyone accounted for (or so we thought ...) we gave a run a review that was most complementary ! Proceeding on to the charges, the stand-out charge was from Dripper to Little Weed who had *stolen* the Hash Splash eskies and tray WITHOUT letting Dripper know ... a heinous crime that was dutifully given a down-down ! She looked a bit sheepish too ! (Dripper had an all points alert as to the theft, calling various Hashers, confused why the thieves left other expensive equipment behind and only took the $30 worth of drinks)
Snake Charmer was commended on doing a full somersault yet not having a single scratch on him and the errant Wet Coast attendees charged themselves for even going to that run !
We were moving on to the final business when out of the trail, Downhill appeared out of the bush ... Seems he did the run almost again due to confusing W's ... He later admitted to using GPS (not ours) to find his way home so down-down coming next week !
We sang the song and went away !
OnOn
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2039, 21st November 2021
The Run That Went On & On & On & on & on & o****
A wonderful turn out on a warm and somewhat muggy afternoon ... We were meeting at a new venue so we were somewhat perturbed about exactly where it was but we managed to get there !
The Hare's Leather Lungs & XS Baggage gave some run instructions (mostly on flour with checks and FT's but a veer off for walkers ! Little did we know it would be a longtime coming back. There was a drink stop so enthusiastically we surged ahead ! The walkers had a very pleasant trail through some minor roads but mainly on tracks and trails in shady parks and walkways.
The runners (Same as the walkers, only longer) .
Joining up at the drink stop, (runners being there first !) it was nice to chat and mingle for a moment before carrying on ... and on ... and on ... It was a long run
Back at the start, the GM called the circle and there were a few minor complaints about the length of the run, however, the general consensus was that it was a great run ! Well done guys !
Then a few charges were administered by the stand-in RA, Sheep Shunter ! One by one, Hashers were charged for misbehaving in various ways and some disturbing songs were sung ! There were even numerous charges from the floor this week !
(ADD MORE HERE PK ... AM TOO TIRED)
Then we shabbily sang our song (words reprinted for the pack ... thank you guys) and tucked into a super sausage sizzle provided by the Hares ! Huge thanks .... It was a great way of ending the night !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
2064
Oh ... What Fun ... !
It was sooo good .... Dripper, Pink Bits & Slippery Nuts set a fabulous run in Bassendean - runners had 7km and walkers had 3.5 km
Easy, flat and picturesque ...
What more can you ask for ...
BBQ afterwards ...
On On
Pink Bits (restricted in length of report due to weariness and business)
2063 The Plan B - Run ! or The Don't Fence me In Run !
Despite wet wintry weather, a good number of Hashers turned up for GPS' run. He had slogged for 3 hours setting an interesting run and walk only to have it all washed out before anyone got there. He was disappointed ...
Giving his chalk talk, he advised that he was going to have to be the live Hare for the walkers, whilst Skippy was to be the runners guide. Skippy had only a moment's notice so took this job on with some apprehension! (no ... not really but it adds to the drama)
We set off towards the bushy tracks and trails around the new development in Bushmead. The rain kept off for the whole hour ... amazing ! The walk was relatively flat and did not involve being trapped behind fences (see runners details)
Runners had a good run, no trail to speak of due to rain so Skippy acted as trailblazer. Sometimes he hit a fence, found a kangaroo door, or found a weak point in the fencing. Franger followed the trail for a while, then did his own thing, and apparently managed to avoid the fences.
Walkers were led out of the bush track into the housing area that was in a state of *much new house building* as well as established homes. It was a very pleasant walk around with GPS carefully herding the walkers pack (just like a Mother Hen !)
Back at the start, the circle was called and there were numerous accolades and charges for the Hare and his understudy !
There were a few charges for the usual shortcutters and Franger (of course)
Also, there was a special presentation of a 25 run foot to Slippery Nuts (well done - *get a life* was his song)
We then sang the Hash song with more gusto than usual and departed into a dark and windy night.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
2062. The City View Run !
El Keeno, as usual, was very excited to be this week's Hare as he is still aiming for *Run of the Year* The venue was the lovely J F National Park with 180* views and on a mild day. The pack assembled and was not so pleased to hear that he had got lost setting the run part. The directions were a trifle vague as he said you could go there and back at the HH (Hash Halt - new to us but we like a challenge)
Runners and walkers set off in similar directions then parted ways. Trail was quite well marked and the Hare did his best to keep an eye out for stragglers. From all accounts, walkers found it a pleasant trail, not too tricky and were back in 50 mins. The runners horn could be heard up the valley, down the valley and in all points between. Gosh, had they got as far as the airport ???
Back in the circle, we welcomed a new Hasher (nice to meet you ! Well done on the run ...) Then the Hare got a few down-downs for all sorts of Faux Pas 's. The RA took over and managed to have a few Hashers get a very cold beverage but each and everyone was justified !
Another great run in Paradise !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2061
Mother's Day Pinny Run !
A large pack turned up on Mothers Day, most wearing the required aprons to pay homage to Mum's who DO wear aprons ! The Hare, Downhill, had chosen a great spot in the wilds of Mt Helena, on another lovely sunny afternoon.
Once the GM gathered us all in, the Hare indicated a pleasant walk but a somewhat longish run ! It was all well marked and walkers would veer away from runners to follow W's.
Walkers and runners were on the same track for the first part, with the Hare kindly checking the checks were marked off. We had a very pleasant walk in open bushland which was virtually flat. Eventually the runners and walkers parted company and continued on their respective trails.
It was a relatively short walk back and we were treated to a post-run drink stop !
It was a good while before the runners came in and looked hot and bothered !
Circle was called and the Hare was given a down-down for his efforts but congratulated on a good run !
The RA took over to dispense charges and there were just a few. Of significant note this week the S C B was SURPRISINGLY GPS who had been sprung by walkers watching him brazenly criss-crossing through the bush !
Finally, there was a short discussion that Leanne, who had been coming to Hills Hash for a while, was due for a naming .... after much laughter, and a slight misdemeanor on her part, she now bears the name *** TOPLESS*** You had to be there ... !
Then we sang the song and departed for some curry !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2060
The Run That was Not That Long ... or ... The Pina Colada Run
The Hare's, Dripper for run and Pink Bits & Slippery Nuts for the walk, set the run on a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. The initial indications were that it was a bit of a long walk (average length run)The pack was of significant size and was excited to be advised that there was a drink stop !
Runners and walkers went off in separate directions.The run was along the bridle path with diversions into the bush. It was a typical Dripper eun - fiendish in places, not obvious, and with false trails to catch the pack. The markings were good, and at one stage Dripper had even laid a brand new sand road for the runners to use.
The drink stop was welcomed, but afterwards there was no runners trail which caused great confusion, DOSH and PK nearly did the trail again, whilst a couple of the others didn’t realise their mistake and did an extra 3km loop.
The walkers were sent into a delightful huge patch of gently undulating bush. The trail was marked exceptionally well so no one could have got lost.
On arrival at the drinks stop there was a Pina Colada waiting and a few lolly snakes etc.
The walkers had obviously forged ahead at speed as the whole trail only took about 50 minutes. Back at the start, GPS gathered the pack for the circle. The Hares were given the usual down-downs. Then the RA got to his business but was short on charges (must have been a good run) There was a doozy for GPS for getting lost on the way to the venue ! Other charges were administered (can't remember), however, there was a memorable naming for young Jaxon who now proudly bears the name *BIG BOY* Well done !
Thus ended another great run with Hills Hash ! Song was sung with gusto ... !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2059
Skippy Shows Off His Skippy Pals - Plus Some Raunchy Views !
This week we were saying farewell to the John Forrest Tavern, nestled in the John Forrest National Park. It will be closing by the end of May.
A large pack was excited as there was a drink stop at the tavern and later a subsidised dinner there as well !
Skippy directed runners and walkers towards their respective trails that were very well marked, but being Skippy, they were likely to be long and somewhat hilly. After a long wait (for those of us with the important task of getting the drinks organised) the first of the walkers arrived at the drink stop, followed shortly by some runners ... and then some more ... then the rest ! It was indeed a long run and the refreshment was welcome. It seems the delay was due to a bunch of nudists relaxing on granite rocks ..... There were, apparently, some eye popping views ... We have everything at Hash ! It was at the drink stop that Skippy had gathered his skippy mates, some well endowed big boys, who milled around just like Hashers do ! Lovely ...
As GM was busy cavorting up the coast and the Vice GM was over East, Pink Bits, as stand-in GM, did her best to compose the slightly twitchy pack. The run was deemed very good (Run of the Year contender ? Where were you El Keeno ?) Down-down for Skippy ! Charges came thick and fast for the *new shoe wearers* - 3 in all and let me say, they were game to consume their drinks out of their shoes ! Well done all ...
Otherwise there was a long-time-no-see ... Pullet ... down-down for him, plus a few other charges.
As it was the day before Anzac Day, Skippy did a great rendition of *The Last Post* before we sang the song and many of the pack came to dinner at the Tavern, which was a fun night.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Crusher and Rock Bottom's Run
It was really great ... undulating open bushland, very well marked and a super drink stop with quality pink wine ... What more could you ask for ....
Well, just maybe a small gardening accident ... Flying Nun coming a cropper ... No real lasting damage (we hope)
Short and sweet this week ... Some of us are busy ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2057
The Run That Could Have Been Washed Out But Wasn't !
It was wet and wild as the pack sat in cars waiting till the very last minute before getting out - As more and more Hashers arrived (and the area was becoming a jam packed car park) the heavens opened and there was a significant deluge ...
Just then, as we HAD to gather for the circle, there was a window of opportunity as the sun tried to shine through the clouds. The Hare, El Keeno, advised that the drink stop consisted of standing anywhere with mouth open as the rain came down ! (No incentive then ...Nit-wit) There was a walkers and runners trail with some confusing info about markings of arrows etc. Still, off we went, umbrellas in hand, hoping it would not rain .... A very well marked and interesting walk intersecting for a short time with runners (although the horn could be heard from time to time ... ) It was a reasonably long run and miraculously ! ... it did not rain all the way. (Well done RA) However, the runners did return somewhat wet and damp from sweat !
Circle was called by GPS (who was a bit in a hurry ... and grumpy) - Firstly, the Hare was praised with a down-down for an unbelievably good run (lies ...) We welcomed back Little Weed, Flying Nun (both from at least 3 months absence) & The Disorder Family (working)
After that, there were a couple of charges for (amongst others ...?) Leapfrog before we sang the song in a hurry (looming dark clouds...) and scattered !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
The Defibrillator Run (or so it felt)
The small boutique bunch of Hashers met at the park where we are usually lulled into thinking it will be a gentle run and walk but .... NO .... not for the fainthearted with DOSH and WACUDA doing the honours !
The Hares fooled us with the old 'there is a drink stop' off-hand mention. So we were game and set off .... all in a similar direction to shortly have runners and walkers doing a delightful criss-crossing of trails ... This had been a golf course so very reasonably flat yet undulating gracefully.
Those in the know are fully aware that there is a deadly edge to the course ... more of a ravine and block and tackle track ! Oh don't get me wrong, the views are spectacular (once climbed up to the top ... huff n' puff) and honestly there are nice bits here and there ... mostly there ...
Suffice to say, the runners had a very good, extremely long, workout with false trails in abundance, while the walkers had to navigate areas of granite rock - vertically !
Once getting to the drink stop, (stunning views ... I've seen them before !!!) we were grateful for the rest and refreshment. Some of the walkers remained to wait for the runners who could be heard but not seen for ages. The way back was very cleverly chosen for those of a height advantage (i.e. GPS) You had to bend double to navigate the very low growing - ultra SPIKY - shrubs ... More torture devised for the walkers .... Well done to Dripper (still injured so waking) and GPS for being so familiar with the area they missed the whole Hobbit wormhole. (Down downs for you - you rotters)
Back at the start, we assembled close to the defibrillator fortunately. The circle started with a Welcome Back & Down-downs to 2 long-time-no-sees Pat Pom and Snake Bite, then proceeded to congratulate the Hares on a great run (what .... ?) There were charges for Dripper and GPS (Yay), for Pink Bits and Slippery Nuts for sex on the run (Don'd be silly ... I needed mouth-to-mouth resus) for El Keeno for something important and, I think, for Skippy for something significant (probably watching the Dockers annihilate the Eagles... whoopee)
We then concluded with the club song and departed for Thigh On The Hill for a wonderful repast.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Next week's run: HARE's - DOSH & WACUDA On On: Jorgensen Park
Kalamunda
(At 4 pm)
Delightful Darling (ton) Run !
The pack assembled at the Darlington Oval amid the usual dog walkers and fanciers ... The Hares directed us to the on-on jointly for runners and walkers. We sauntered quickly along the old train track which was flat and, obviously, had the walkers thinking this was a piece of cake ! Not so, as we turned a corner to find the trail went up and up over unsteady rocky terrain, best left to Territorial Army manoeuvres .... Giddy with nose bleeds & and lack of oxygen, we did get magnificent vista views over the city (good place for a drink stop .....) We trudged on and on on the exceedingly well marked trail (no chance of getting lost) until we arrived back at the start. We waited a while for the runners to come in .... and they did, from numerous directions, looking quite puffed. We did hear the horn from time to time ... the run was quite long by all accounts ...
As the GM was off at a GM's Conference, and Vice was missing in action, Pink Bits took over the very difficult job of whipping the pack into some sort of order.
The Hares were given the expected down down (job well done) and a few of the pack were charged for their wrong doings ...
We had a couple of new runners (walkers) who enjoyed the experience and even joined us for a meal afterwards. Jess was charged for looking *hot* all the way through the circle .... Ha Ha !
We sang our song again to the amusement of a few Darlingtonians ..... Thus ended another Hash run ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
*4pm next week *
Run 2055 Sunday 20th March
A Notable Run
The run of 20/3 was set by Skippy from the rotunda/shelter near the Mundaring Scout Hall. Numbers were down somewhat, partly because several of the usual Hashers, including regular scribe, were involved in the presentation of a Shire supported music concert at the time. The latter was taking place at the open air amphitheatre around 100 metres away.
The run was some kind of St Patrick's day run as this had taken place only a few days beforehand. The Green was pretty diluted as only 2 of the group had the wardrobe and personal organisation skills to be wearing green.
The Hare's briefing included a declaration that it would be impossible to get lost. Not getting lost and being impossible to get lost are different concepts but the trail did actually work very well.
The runner's and the walker's trails both made good use of the available bushland in the area and included Martin Road and the recreation centre. Both groups were caught out several times by the trails heading away from Home when we anticipated directions. Apparently, the runners covered 8.1 km though with judicious shortcutting by some, this constituted the maximum amount.
This was Madonna”s 666th run so he wore his T shirt from when it was the 666th run undertaken by the Hash. He very kindly produced a bottle of champagne to mark the occasion. The 3 or so of us who were also present at the Club's 666th run enjoyed priority access though we did leave some for the peasants.
We sang our song to finish up with though what the nearby concert audience thought of it remains unknown. Certainly no one approached us to ask if we had CD's for sale
Courtesy of *Downhill*
(Thanks from P B xxx)
Run 2054
El Keeno Delivers !
Gathering at the Bilgoman Pool car park, we were alerted to the fact that Dripper was instead choosing Mt Helena Pool car park. As he is our Splash, we gave him an extra 5 minutes and he arrived just in time !
The Hare, El Keeno, advised that there was a walk and run marked and set us off in the similar direction. We ambled on shady tracks that were not too challenging for Darlington. Runners and walkers crossed paths here and there, and the horn could be heard frequently.
It was a bit of an uphill slog at the very end for all of us but I suspect the runners had more hills than walkers. They looked a bit puffed coming back !
El Keeno was busy herding in the pack - very commendable - and we all arrived back at the start.
After a short refreshing break, the GM called the circle, & the Hare was given a down-down for an exceedingly good run - very well marked !
Up next came the somewhat lost Dripper but I think we all felt a bit sorry for him as he got the Lame Duck Award as well ! There was a significant amount of red running down his arms (sounds good but it was not wine !) At time of writing he is ok if a bit sore !
This was a significant run for El Keeno (get a life) of 400 runs and he was awarded the 400 foot. Amazing achievement .... We welcomed a new runner - Scumbag - hope you enjoy our runs in the hills.
There may have been some other charges that GM and RA felt were appropriate. We sang the song and went on our merry ways ....
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2053
The Joint Run with the H V Cricket Club - (Winners)
There was some confusion and consternation as Hashers arrived at the rather packed car park in Boya. Dripper, todays Hare, had slightly misjudged the awesome support the H V Cricket players had at our meeting place. Still, we all found a parking spot, gathered and were given some *flour talk* mainly as there was a shortage of flour but, that here was a run and a walk and the direction of the on-on.
The walkers started off with a daunting climb up a significant hill (still warm weather ... groan) The trail was reasonably well marked - if a little sparse in places and I believe it was the same for the runners.
Walkers were back much sooner than the runners who had a fair distance to cover.
Once the GM called a circle, the Hare was reprimanded for too much road and not enough flour ! A regular Hasher, at last, came clean with the Hash name he had been bestowed with overseas *Pig Trap* so he was awarded with a giant cucumber ! Welcome !
Then the RA got on with the business of dishing out a few charges (short cutters etc) and a charge from the floor was for Snake Charmer, who had mislaid his Gran's mug last week and had ginger beer going up his nose this week !
We then competed with those winning cricketers to sing OUR song ... theirs was all about being *On The Piss Again* - No, wait, could that have been a Hash song as well ???
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2052
The *Flour In Short Supply* Run !
This week we were meeting at the hall in Parkerville. Right at the start, there was a parking misdemeanor which caused the whole pack to become lemmings and follow suit .... funny !
The Hare, Porno King, advised that due to flour shortage, the trail was marked but sparsely ! There was a run of some length, (with a short-cut if needed) and for the walkers, not a true walk ... just to the pub and back (too short for some walkers so they did their own thing ) There were plenty of bridle paths to keep everyone happy. The weather was a bit milder and not as hot as it had been, which was just as well as PK decided to set a quarter-marathon.
Owing to the flour shortage PK had to spot the dots of trail, as they were easy to overlook (as CSI Dripper found out later in the run). There were more runners than usual and not everyone was looking forward to an unusually long run, most had the shortcut pointed out to them, DOSH and Wacuda had to figure it out themselves, and Dripper regretted not taking it. Special mention to Rockbottom who ran the runners trail, despite distance, hills and 2 very dodgy tree-crossings.
Once we got back to the start, the GM called the circle and gave a quick down-down to Slippery Nuts for his parking faux pas ! Then he gave a magnificent stubby holder to WACUDA for achieving 200 runs ! (Another get a life ...) This was followed by a chastisement for the Hare with his sob story of lack of flour etc. Was still a good run - no-one was lost ... no injuries or blood !
Then the RA got to work dishing out a bit of justice for the long time no-sees and others who he had in his sights. A charge from the floor came for Rock Bottom for losing her Hash mug at the last run ....
We then sang our song a bit and some of us went back to the Parky Pub to get an ear clean out due to the loud band. (Was good though ... ! Didn't last long !)
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2051 - The Not So Distressing Run !
To be honest, on arrival, all you could see was a 360 degree view of hills. Not something we were hoping for this week. The recent heat was getting to everyone so with heavy hearts and feet we were sent on our way by this week's Hare, Darkhorse (complete with girl dog !) Ominously, the pack went together straight up a significant hill. It was the sight of Maid Muffin almost on hands and knees that made a few question if this was indeed what we wanted to do ???
Most of the pack continued on trail, which by all accounts, was sufficiently marked - just.
Runners returned within 45 minutes which was great on a warm day, walkers took a bit longer. GOOD NEWS ... we lost no-one AND there were no injuries ! The runners were rather hot after climbing Lesmurdie mountain, cold beer was very welcome.
Gathering at the start, the GM called a circle and, again, we startled a few members of the public. (We had a couple of young ladies arrive at the beginning of the run who would have had the guys running a bit faster, but they declined joining in - and wandered off to do something else partially clothed according to Pink Bits..)
The Hare was charged for lack of flour - his excuse was shortages at the shops ! Mental Disorder charged Pink Bits for some nonsense involving masks, (you had to be there) GPS confused everyone by mixing up the order of procedure which confused everyone ! In fact, we were a lot confused ... I am a bit sick right now ... very giddy !
Anyway, all was well by the end of the day and we sang our song (ho hum ...) and departed - some for REALLY GOOD Thai food !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2050 - Valentine’s Bush run
Valentine's Day Voluptuous Venture
As per usual, the Hills Hashers were attired in very lairy, sexy, silly and altogether inappropriate lingerie for the Annual Get-Together with Bush Hash. We amassed at the home of Dave the Pom, who very kindly opened up his home and pool, to Hills & Bush Hash.
The Hare's (Dripper & Dave the Pom) indicated that there was a run marked, part of a walk marked and a drink stop ! Not very clear instructions so we all just started off with (apparently) a live Hare , who was too busy interviewing Hashers on trail ! He is, afterall, the king of the local Kalamunda radio !
Walkers were relatively ok on a day of intense heat, delirium, copious thirst & mirage viewing (oh no .. that's just city views - but I swear I saw camels at an oasis) Some of us took a slightly unusual trail and were back at the drink stop in no time, others took a bit longer, but it was the amazing return of the runners that had us all cracking up..... Imagine manly men in pink tutus and/or blond wigs/red frocks/black frocks dripping in sweat, red in face, checking their fishnets ! What a hoot !
After a prolonged drink stop, we returned to the start where .... A POOL awaited the sweaty ones ... Bliss ! It certainly cooled us off and provided many photo opportunities for Hash Flash ... OMG ... see the Facebook page ! There was some consternation as we had a missing Hasher (on a hot day ...) and a few galant Hashers did the run backwards, however, all was well as the Hasher turned up, hot, bothered and very relieved - as were we all.
Then a circle was called by the GM and a surprise RA was introduced. *Where's Wally* from Bush Hash did a great job as RA dishing out charges and accolades for all and sundry ... Best dressed was WACUDA (oh dear) and worst was Dave the Pom (an even bigger OH DEAR)
We then sang our song (with an audience ... is this our first proper public performance ? Where was the hat for donations ?) Then we feasted on nibbles and substantial snacks whilst admiring the views as that hot sun was setting.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2049 - Coal Dam, Woodbridge
The * If It's GPS, It Must Be A Rainy Day* Run
Absolutely living up to his name and reputation, the Hare,GPS, organised the run this week. In a month of horrendously HOT weather, this Sundaywas, well quite wet really. Amazing ... A small devoted bunch of Hashers got together in quite inclement weather to brave the wet and windy conditions. To be honest, it was a pleasure to walk & run in such mild conditions. The walkers were on the same trail as runners for a while then we split and never met up again ! (till the end)
That crafty GPS had us meandering here and there with some cunning train track crossing over and over again ! We certainly were in an area we had not encountered before (as memory serves) and crossed though some nice bits of bush as well.
There was no drink stop so we were back well within the hour.
Runners reported a really good trail, as always, well marked by the Hare. Towards the end of the run, we were given a little detour, just to look at the ducks on the dam BUT ALSO, some of us saw the cutest bunch (4-5) long necked turtles milling about ! Aaaaah !
Back at the hastily convened circle, as the rain started to pound us, we had all the usual charges and then some (malfunctioning poncho wearer ... I ask you) some short cutting on trail and not paying attention to trail markings (should have been a job-lot charge for the Hare)
We hurriedly sang the song and moved on !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2048: The Annual, Held Yearly, BBQ Breakfast Run Wearing Pyjamas !
So much excitement in the build up to this event. Hashers gathered at the Weir to enjoy a rare morning Hash run ... some wearing very alluring *pyjamas* some in ... well ... makes your eyes water !
The Hare's Leapfrog, (somewhat constrained by having her right hand out of action) & Passiona had checked out the trail the day before and said it was short so we could enjoy the Nosh. We scampered off with views of the dam and straight forward run instructions.
Walkers were advised to do their own thing as there was no actual trail marked.... So we headed straight for the dam wall to marvel at the whole construction only to find the walkway was closed at the other side (so much for checking things out the day before) We returned via a number of directions and it was starting to get hot !
The runners had a surprisingly gentle trail to follow, staying completely on the Mundaring-side of the dam. No sins, no mis-steps, and the largest running pack I have seen for a while (double digits). Not too hot, a lot to be said for morning runs in summer🏆
Back at the BBQ, we just got down to a super brekky, cooked by Leapfrog's assistants, Cheech and Pick Up Chick (thanks !) under her steely command. It was absolutely delish and there was not much left ... We were ravenous !?
The GM then called the circle and started by charging the Hare's as usual for a good run but especially Passiona, for not checking the BBQ's as one was not working ... he said it was working on the day before ... Oh dear ...
More charges ... The winner of the most competitive PJ wearer was Dark Horse (Oh those jocks ! 👀) There were some other charges before the newest member, Paul, was given his Hash handle - Slippery Nuts ! ... Well, it was his fault for mentioning to Dosh that the gumnuts were somewhat slippery !
As it was getting warmer, we hurriedly sang the song and packed up leaving no evidence of ever being there .... We are good & tidy Hashers !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2047 - crushing it at Gooseberry Hill
The Runs Just Get Better & Better !
A small but enthusiastic bunch of Hashers got together at a somewhat ominous venue in Gooseberry Hill. The Hare, Crusher, indicated the runners and walkers were on the same trail till the drink stop 😁👍 then veer away. He said it was short, not too hilly or challenging and shady a lot of the way.
Well, it all lived up to expectations, maybe a bit longer than was expected (not too hot today) but great views. Unless of course you end up following Leapfrog in search of a *Book Box* on the road. In which case you add a kilometer or two to the walk .... !
In the circle, GPS admonished the Hare (for a good run) and further charges were administered by the surprise Monk (who I can't remember !) Of note was the Lame Duck/Blood Rule down-down given to the usual suspect WACUDA & to his mate El Keeno. SCB's were noted, namely Passiona and Dark Horse, plus other charges .... all of them were worthy !
We sang the song as usual (badly) and some headed off to the restaurant of choice in this area !
On-On
Pink Bits xxxx
Hi All
Following on from the last Bush Hash Re-Union run, everyone who attended
enjoyed it and enjoyed it so much we have decided to do it again and do it
from our house again and it will again be a joint run with Hills Hash
The Run will be on Sunday Feb 13 from our house - 11 Brie Brie Crescent
Kalamunda - starting at 3pm. The main emphasis will be on a Walk/Jog but
Hills Hash are joining us and they will lay a runners trail. And of course
there is a drinks stop! And even if you don't fancy even a walk please come
anyway.
The KCR 102.5FM Radio Station Outside Broadcast Unit is coming along to
record a mini-documentary to be broadcast at a later date, probably Feb 25.
In true Bush Family Hash tradition wives, husbands, partners, kids,
grandkids are all most welcome.
Also in Bush Hash Tradition it is BYO Grog and pls bring a plate of finger
food to share. I will have a BBQ available if anyone wants to cook.
We have a swimming pool which will be open for business for kids young and
old
COVID restrictions have supposedly ended by then but if they don't we have
plenty of room in our back yard to allow for social distancing and also if
you would prefer to bring your own food rather than a plate to share, there
is no problem with that. Hand sanitiser will also be available.
The Hills Hash Run is designated a "Lingerie" Run being the day before
Valentines Day, but we don't need to comply with that (unless people want
to...)
Any questions pls advise and we look forward to seeing you!!
If you are coming confirmation of that would be appreciated.
ON ON
A got together at
Run 2046 - up and up and up
The Run That Had It ALL !
This week's venue was greeted nervously by the pack as it is notorious for some nefarious activity. Still, The Hare, Skippy, was eagerly awaiting us, albeit with a very wet t-shirt and looking quite worn out !
The chalk talk was more of a warning ... ominous ... there were going to be a LOT of hills ... but also a drink stop (Yay)
A small security contingent remained behind to patrol the area ... as the pack set off. A latecomer, Dark Horse, arrived just as everyone was off and running.
On their return, there was much dirt, dust and a bit of blood. It seems that it had been a somewhat arduous run this week but as Skippy said, "a good run is one where there ARE complaints" Walkers had to navigate some very steep downhill slopes. It was after all the land of the abseilers ! All in all, it was deemed a great run ...
Once the GM called the circle, he was presented with his Birthday Silly Hat ... and as it was Drippers Birthday as well, he was, at last, gifted a Margarita and 3 dancing girls (he so often requests that ! ... ) Thanks ladies for getting into the spirit of things ...
There were a few SCB's and other charges ... Late Horse was duly charged ... lived up to his name somewhat ... As GPS had lost total control of the pack, we decided to sing the song and (groan ... ) don masks ... A few of us went for the usual curry but takeaway ...
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Whilst the official rehash is still to come (see above) let’s recall the run from the runners perspective. The warning signs were there; hare - skippy, the location - at the foot of a large hill, Skippy's tee shirt - the ball breaker, and his explanation at the start that there was a long run and a not quite so long run.
We set off. The first check had two very short easy false trails - all cleverly designed to create a false sense of security. And then the trail went up, and up, and then down again straight through the bush. Eliciting the first cries of “ow” and “sh*t” that were to become the replacement for “On-On” during this epic challenge.
The trail went up, round a bit and down to a large false trail designed to prevent running over the edge of the quarry. Amazing views that were swiftly forgotten as we ran (read Slow Slogged) our way to the top. Here the trail split and runners could choose between a long or shorter run. All being oxygen starved and deliriously exhausted by that time chose the LONG run and so we cantered down a gentle path. Easy… but no… more UP.
Some scrambling down a potentially treacherous path to a welcome drink and sugary snakes stop, then more treacherous path down towards home. Dosh and Dripper did some of this trail very stylishly on their bottoms, whilst Skimpy blew out his knee.
A gentle jog through the trees and back to the start, to find our cars…. INTACT!
A good and memorable run that my legs will recover from eventually!
Thanks
PK
Run 2045 from sawyers Valley Substation
A Well Constructed Run !
There we were, gathering at the venue (or not in some cases) with the Hare, Downhill, acting as a Hash foot on the highway (with an actual foot too !) A few mis-directions had been posted ...
A very grand bunch of Hashers were raring to go & the Hare did not disappoint ! He also reminded us that it was the anniversary of the passing of Uphill ... a very poignant moment ... RIP Jenni xxx
He gave out some convoluted instructions that involved us going into (or not) bush bits as otherwise we had to follow the pipeline !
Well, let me say, the pipeline HAD to be crossed and ... with short legs was a challenge for some ... (hands up shorties !)
It was a lovely walk on a very shady flat track that suddenly (oh shit .. ) went up a hill that looked not too bad .. BUT WAS !
(Runners bit inserted by PK)
The run was good, some good false trails to catch-out the front runner of the moment and allow the others to catch-up. (Free Beer did well on the first half, taking a break from immediate family). We wound round what might have been a dam, but no water in sight alas… and then a car and drink stop. Jubilation, beer, champers, water, snakes and allsorts!😀 Free Beer gave us all a lovely Happy New Year toast, before joining her family on the walk.
We looked up and saw a dusty slippery downhill trail, followed by a huge looming hill! Luckily the trail only went 2/3rds of the way up the hill, then headed off through shady trees to the substation. Home was just on the other side - except for Skippy who found the 4.5kms too short and went off to skip some more. Cold beer beckoned for the rest of us…..
(Back to Pink Bits)
Suddenly, we were upon the drink stop (most welcome) and very good too .. ! After that it was plain sailing (not literally) down and up to the start (I heard Maid Muffin saying her heart rate reached a colossal rate ... we Hashers are tough !) So much pipeline ... so little water ... !
The stand-in (fab) GM - Pink Bits x - called the circle (and as usual no-one paid any attention) The run was considered very good ... well done Downhill ... A charge or two went to DOSH and PK for mixing it up with the venue (could be a future challenge eh ?) Passiona, El Keeno and someone else were charged for short cutting or something else, and, of course, the Birthday Girl - Leapfrog - got a teeny-weeny bubbly down-down !
It was a fun event again as usual ... We love our Hash !
We tried the song again - um err - not getting better .. However, the curry dinner afterwards was great !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2044 from Swan View railway station
Hates. Sheep Shunter, Light My Fire and some help from GPS
An eager crowd of 25ish has hers from Hills H3, Freo H3 and Friday H3 (the city one) gathered at the railway station carpark looking down the hill towards the city, or up the hill behind and wondered was it up then down, or down then up!
The walkers set off sort of level, whilst the 5 runners went up, then down, then up, then up again, then finally down to a drink stop. At last liquid relief, as running 6kms in 33 deg heat with no water or beer is no joke.
There were checks, and false trails, and more hills. Poor Dripper was dripping with sweat, D-Cell was remembering having set orienteering over the area and how hilly it was, SNB was front-running like a mountain goat. The runners never saw the walkers, or much except bush and hills - although I started hallucinating about ice-cream at one point.
After the drink stop it was a km down the old railway track through the cool but DARK tunnel. Back at the start cold beer and ice-cubes down the back (courtesy of Pick-Up Chick) who managed to turn up late.
The circle was called by GPS and run and walk reports followed. Then Pick-Up was asked to explain why she was late (forgot the time doing housework). Free Beer was given a free beer at the same time for chatting in the circle. Sheep Shunter received a thank-you drink, then the Monk did his bit. He let Skimpy have the circle (never a good plan), then D-Cell received a welcome almost being a regular hills hasher.
Chips had been replaced with Italian cake, pavlova and dim sums- great start to the year! So after the hash song was sung there was nothing but munching for a while. Then home ..
Happy New Year to all
Porno King
Boxing Day run
(Rehash submitted by our Hash psychic Pink Bits)
HOT HOT HOT BOXER SHORTS Run
The Hills Hash Harriers are a very robust bunch ! In ridiculously hot conditions, (a Perth record for this time of year) the pack gathered around a cool cup of water, ready to take on the worst that DOSH and WACUDA could dish out. They, being very cool beings, had been up since 2am scouring every possible hill, incline and devilish HOT spot, to inflict on the already HOT pack (HOT pack, is that something you put on sore muscles ? - can see a need for that in the near future)
As some of the pack had turned up with injuries sustained whilst having some Christmas games, the run and walk were quite short. Mostly to the air-conditioned pub for a long slow cooling beverage !
Then it was back to the circle, and that cool cup of water (now suitable for a cup of tea) GM (was he even there ?) charged everyone for being HOT and himself for being more cool than DOSH & Wacuda !
Passiona got a down-down for short-cutting (as usual) and Dripper for too much dripping (more than usual)
Everyone in Boxer shorts got a down-down for showing too much leg (?) ... who shows legs on a day like today ... really ...
Skippy got fined for being too athletic in the heat ... Leapfrog was charged for trying to wallow in a bit of mud in someone's pond ! Pole Dancer and Belt Up were fined for not being present !
Dripper celebrated his 800th and received his hash foot to commemorate the momentous event.
Then we tried to sing but with our dry lips so it wasn't that good again ...
On-On
Pink Bits (deliriously hot)
xxx
The Magical Christmas Run
Hills Hashers know how to have a great party and this was a fine example ! We got together to celebrate another year at DOSH and WACUDA's home. The garden looked stunning and we were very excited at the prospect of a sumptuous paella to round off the day.
First however, the Hares gave us run instructions (the runners trail set by a stern faced WACUDA who indicated that it was his present for them and was of a substantial length .... oh dear)
Walkers and runners set off in opposite directions - never to meet again on the run - The walk was mostly on roads with slight uphill inclines, but nothing too heavy. The run was apparently quite taxing and was a decent challenge.
We all eventually got to the drink stop, which was very excellent ! Walkers were first and as they were leaving, runners trickled in ...
Back at Christmas Central, there was a cook busily concocting a repast of delicious aromas. We settled down to a few aperitifs and then the food was ready !
With full stomachs, we were summoned to the circle by the very excited GM, GPS, who may have not been at all disappointed ! Visitors Wisecrack and Spackle were welcomed and rated the run as very good indeed. A long-time-no-see, Red Light, was given a down-down. Following on, the RA dished out his usual debatable charges, including Scooby Doo getting the Lame Duck award (must be a record) Then there were a few from the floor, including Dripper for wrecking some of DOSH's plants with his driving. May have been something to do with his man-flu. Nothing of any significance, however, we then moved to name a new Hasher.
Poc wanted a *cool* name so GPS (in his wisdom) threw a few around until the pack settled on .......... SNOWFLAKE !!! How cool is that ! ! !
We sang the song then got into the chaotic series of games arranged by Leapfrog with winners gatting buckets of goodies. Oh ! The fun just went on and on ... but the night didn't and we melted into the cooling evening.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Sunday 12th December
Run 2042 run report
The - Are There Any Hills In Darlington We Missed ? - Run
Great turn-out at the Darlington Oval on a warm, but not overly hot, Sunday. There was a surprise for the GM at the start of the circle, as he was presented with a magnificent " 601 Disappointing Runs'' T-shirt. Well done to the design team !
Then the Hares, Trainwreck and Shagged Out, were excited to tell the pack about the run and we were directed to the On-On. It started off quite well, but after the first 60 seconds, we were groaning as the hills did not stop. One after another, they just materialized .... of course being in this area we did expect some hills ... just not all of them ! After what seemed like an age, there was a drink stop (yay) and a very good one too, Runners were somewhat overcome by the length of the trail and got to the refreshment station a bit puffed ! So many ups and downs ....
Walkers glimpsed the runners every now and then in small groups, mostly walking ! You could hear the horn faintly in the distance (wilting ?) as we got back to the start.
Once the circle was called, the Hares were given a well deserved down-down for a very good run - well marked so no-one got lost. We had a few charges from the floor but some got reversed so things got confusing (were we still delirious from the long run ?) There was a bit of business to discuss around our Christmas party run next week so hope everyone was listening .....
We sang the song and had a great BBQ together. Hashing is fun !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Sunday 5th December
Run 2041 run report
Is It A Bird ? Is It A Plane ? ... Nooooo ... It's A View !
Views there were a-plenty at the venue chosen by the Hares - SNB & Poc. We admired the wonderful vista, noting the BIG hill to one side and the STEEP valley below. So, knowing full well there would be hills, run instructions were given and a drink stop was promised.
Walkers and runners set off in the same direction but soon veered apart. To say the run was steep is incorrect ..... it was very steep and where there's an up, there must be a down ! The walkers were first at the drink stop but with a smattering of runners who appeared in dribs and drabs ... mostly dribs due to heat and sweat ! It was a very hot day .... The drink stop was most welcome, it was nice and icy with some snacks thrown in ....
Back in the circle, the Hares were commended for even setting the run on such a hot day but everyone liked the run .... The GM was somewhat upset at the On Sec as the fact he had managed to do 600 runs had not been noted (oh poor him !) Once the Monk got going, Passiona got charged for obviously short cutting (he missed a fair bit of the trail) and Pink Bits and her COMRADE had a down-down for catching a lift back to the start. DOSH was the lucky recipient of the Lame Duck award and there were other Hashers who slipped and skidded down the track ! (Did I mention it was steep ?) Leapfrog traversed the very steep descent with the aid of a bit of log and Flying Nun on the other side ... Who'd have thought you could have such fun on a Hash run ???
We eventually sang the song and some of us scuttled off to eat good food and drink nice wine ...
On On
Pink Bits xxxx
Run report 1. - The West Coast Hash 1000 at Lake Leschenaultia (Saturday 27th Nov)
On a hot and clammy Saturday afternoon, the West Coast Hash club celebrated their 1000th Run. A few Hills Hashers braved the event as, obviously, it was in our backyard ! Having walked the length and breadth of the campgrounds, these few Hashers were unable to find the ACTUAL registration point, despite the Hash splash van trailer being prominently displayed at the edge of the lake !
Of course, there was Camp Leschenaultia 400 mtrs from the lake that the WC Hash had camped at, just to confuse those who had not ventured here before.
Eventually, the run set off at 3.15 (wait for it ....) The trail was confusing for walkers, some of whom gave up and just went round the lake. The run apparently was really good and we did manage to find one drink stop !
As for the circle, well Hills Hash decided that the Chidlow Pub was as good as any place to have our own circle ... Say no more ....
Run 2040 - Run report 2. - Crusher's Really, Really Nice Run ! (Sunday 28th Nov)
Just for a change, Crusher had arranged the run on a very shady trail in a venue that was relatively flat. His chalk talk did mention one biggish hill but after the drink stop, there was hope for most of us to manage it !
Indeed it was a very pleasant run, meandering through some lovely pretty bushland. The drink stop, that everyone got to, was well stocked with bubbly, beer and soft drinks ... something for everyone ! The Hare had a Hare Raising 4 wheel drive to get to it so thank you for going well beyond the call of duty ...
Back at the circle with everyone accounted for (or so we thought ...) we gave a run a review that was most complementary ! Proceeding on to the charges, the stand-out charge was from Dripper to Little Weed who had *stolen* the Hash Splash eskies and tray WITHOUT letting Dripper know ... a heinous crime that was dutifully given a down-down ! She looked a bit sheepish too ! (Dripper had an all points alert as to the theft, calling various Hashers, confused why the thieves left other expensive equipment behind and only took the $30 worth of drinks)
Snake Charmer was commended on doing a full somersault yet not having a single scratch on him and the errant Wet Coast attendees charged themselves for even going to that run !
We were moving on to the final business when out of the trail, Downhill appeared out of the bush ... Seems he did the run almost again due to confusing W's ... He later admitted to using GPS (not ours) to find his way home so down-down coming next week !
We sang the song and went away !
OnOn
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2039, 21st November 2021
The Run That Went On & On & On & on & on & o****
A wonderful turn out on a warm and somewhat muggy afternoon ... We were meeting at a new venue so we were somewhat perturbed about exactly where it was but we managed to get there !
The Hare's Leather Lungs & XS Baggage gave some run instructions (mostly on flour with checks and FT's but a veer off for walkers ! Little did we know it would be a longtime coming back. There was a drink stop so enthusiastically we surged ahead ! The walkers had a very pleasant trail through some minor roads but mainly on tracks and trails in shady parks and walkways.
The runners (Same as the walkers, only longer) .
Joining up at the drink stop, (runners being there first !) it was nice to chat and mingle for a moment before carrying on ... and on ... and on ... It was a long run
Back at the start, the GM called the circle and there were a few minor complaints about the length of the run, however, the general consensus was that it was a great run ! Well done guys !
Then a few charges were administered by the stand-in RA, Sheep Shunter ! One by one, Hashers were charged for misbehaving in various ways and some disturbing songs were sung ! There were even numerous charges from the floor this week !
(ADD MORE HERE PK ... AM TOO TIRED)
Then we shabbily sang our song (words reprinted for the pack ... thank you guys) and tucked into a super sausage sizzle provided by the Hares ! Huge thanks .... It was a great way of ending the night !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2037 - Dripper & Pink Bit’s BBQ RUN
Gathering at the familiar venue of the train park in Glen Forrest, Hashers were a bit confused by the large pack already in attendance ! Only on closer inspection did they realise that ordinary humans had been partying there ....
This week's Hares, Pink Bits and Dripper, gave out some very clear and concise instructions and set the pack off. Sadly, the whole pack went in one direction and only after shouting and screaming coming from Pink Bits did the walkers actually get on their trail. It was well marked with W's so no-one could get lost and wound around some pretty bush tracks along running streams. There was the added attraction of a (well concealed) drink stop with a city view ! At this point, runners and walkers crossed paths but ... no problem ... there was plenty of Pina Colada to go around !
The runners got a fairly good workout and had to contend with a creek crossing (possibility of wet socks !) However, they enjoyed the location !
Back in the circle, the Hares were charged for an outstanding run, almost vying for *Run of the Year* Then there were long-time-no-sees ... Trainwreck and Shagged Out & White Pointer - as well as a virgin - Paul - Pink Bits partner (Howdy !) Down-downs to all !
The Monk only had a few minor charges for selected Hashers (El Keeno, were you one ?) before opening up to the floor ! The flood gates opened and numerous charges were inflicted on unsuspecting miscreants ! One final (& well deserved) charge went to Porno King for stuffing about with the website ... excuse being the problem of his phone/computer ??? Ah well, ... his L-plates are still attached !
After the glorious song, we partook of a BYO BBQ which was well attended and heartily enjoyed.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2036, 31st October 2021 - The Annual Halloween Run
A large pack assembled at the chosen venue, many dressed in all sorts of ghoulish attire (see FB photos) After the usual Leapfrog photo shoot, we were welcomed by the GM.
The Hare, Skippy, set the run with the usual markings and assured everyone that they could not possibly get lost ! We were directed onto trail and advised there was only one (manufactured) hill. As it was a lovely day, we were in for a lovely stroll past some superb gardens as well as bits of local bushland. Runners criss-crossed with walkers some of the way until eventually, we all returned after frightening numerous Guildfordians on the way !
Once the circle was called, the pack indicated that they generally had enjoyed the run despite it being long ! Skippy countered with the fact that it was traditional to have a long run on the final 4 pm run before we change to summer-time 5 pm.
There were a few long-time-no-see welcomed back as well as visitors. The milestone charge was a down-down for Flying Nun's Birthday - we happily celebrated with her ..... There were other charges but too many to mention !
After the song was sung, we went and ate cake ... as you do !
ON-ON 5 PM NEXT WEEK !
Pink Bits xxx
Gathering at the familiar venue of the train park in Glen Forrest, Hashers were a bit confused by the large pack already in attendance ! Only on closer inspection did they realise that ordinary humans had been partying there ....
This week's Hares, Pink Bits and Dripper, gave out some very clear and concise instructions and set the pack off. Sadly, the whole pack went in one direction and only after shouting and screaming coming from Pink Bits did the walkers actually get on their trail. It was well marked with W's so no-one could get lost and wound around some pretty bush tracks along running streams. There was the added attraction of a (well concealed) drink stop with a city view ! At this point, runners and walkers crossed paths but ... no problem ... there was plenty of Pina Colada to go around !
The runners got a fairly good workout and had to contend with a creek crossing (possibility of wet socks !) However, they enjoyed the location !
Back in the circle, the Hares were charged for an outstanding run, almost vying for *Run of the Year* Then there were long-time-no-sees ... Trainwreck and Shagged Out & White Pointer - as well as a virgin - Paul - Pink Bits partner (Howdy !) Down-downs to all !
The Monk only had a few minor charges for selected Hashers (El Keeno, were you one ?) before opening up to the floor ! The flood gates opened and numerous charges were inflicted on unsuspecting miscreants ! One final (& well deserved) charge went to Porno King for stuffing about with the website ... excuse being the problem of his phone/computer ??? Ah well, ... his L-plates are still attached !
After the glorious song, we partook of a BYO BBQ which was well attended and heartily enjoyed.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2036, 31st October 2021 - The Annual Halloween Run
A large pack assembled at the chosen venue, many dressed in all sorts of ghoulish attire (see FB photos) After the usual Leapfrog photo shoot, we were welcomed by the GM.
The Hare, Skippy, set the run with the usual markings and assured everyone that they could not possibly get lost ! We were directed onto trail and advised there was only one (manufactured) hill. As it was a lovely day, we were in for a lovely stroll past some superb gardens as well as bits of local bushland. Runners criss-crossed with walkers some of the way until eventually, we all returned after frightening numerous Guildfordians on the way !
Once the circle was called, the pack indicated that they generally had enjoyed the run despite it being long ! Skippy countered with the fact that it was traditional to have a long run on the final 4 pm run before we change to summer-time 5 pm.
There were a few long-time-no-see welcomed back as well as visitors. The milestone charge was a down-down for Flying Nun's Birthday - we happily celebrated with her ..... There were other charges but too many to mention !
After the song was sung, we went and ate cake ... as you do !
ON-ON 5 PM NEXT WEEK !
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2035, 24th October 2021 - The Turned Upside-Down Run !
This week's Hare, Fire Extinguisher, announced to the pack (brave person) that runners would follow W's for a change, till they found blobs, then after the drink stop (yay) follow W's again ! Well done Fire X as this caused some consternation among the runners.
We set off from the OBVIOUS television towers into some pleasant bushland on a fairly flat trail that wound around till the drink stop. Then it was a short hop back to the start.
In the circle, the Hare was admonished for no checks and false trails (are the runners serious?) but overall a good run. Down-down administered. Strangely enough, El Keeno (who arrived late and left early ?) was one of the first ones back (SCB ???) Maid Muffin and Pink Bits were fined for not going on trail and instead, walking along the road. (P B has had enough of the tic bites from this area in the past - bound to be waiting for her !) We had to wait a while for Pole Dancer and Belt Up - as they were a bit behind, but did get to the drink stop and thanked the Hare for that ! As opposed to Skippy who indicated to PB & MM that the drinks had all been packed up ?! There may be a D D for the RA next week for that .....
The Hash Splash arrived a bit late as he had a dose of *man-flu*
We sang the song and found it was getting a bit cool so we scattered home !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2034, 17th November - Boardwalks, Septic Treatment Plants & Gumnuts Galore - This Run Had It All !
The pack gathered at the Hare's P. King's new abode, obviously very nosey, as the turn out was amazing ! It was a lovely day so without too much ado, the Hare advised us that there were blobs and W's so we needed to follow correct trails.
The walkers set off on some awful gumnut trail which was a bit of a challenge but soon had us on firm footing meandering past houses. It was a really pleasant walk, not too far and included some new areas. We came back at about the same time as the runners.
The run was brilliant..... Large pack (the girls joined), about 6kms, quite fast (roads), but areas of bush (Black Cockatoo Reserve). Some checks, and some checks which the front runners solved way too fast!
In the circle, PK was complemented for a huge improvement on his last run ! He got a down-down anyway. There were some long-time-no-sees who sculled their drinks like professionals. PK then received another down-down for causing consternation and confusion amongst the friends of the Black Cockatoo reserve (Leapfrog had to explain to them that large circular check markings were not a warning sign for a new large roundabout). Pink Bits got her birthday drink then we were straight into the song with a warning from GM that we had to do better than last week. We didn't .... (sigh) but were marginally improved.
Then it was on to the whole point of the night ... A BBQ ... and those who stayed to enjoy it would have been most appreciative of the wonderful hospitality of PK and Camilla (and little David) . It was a lovely evening but still got a bit cool.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Hash run 10th October - Meandering On Moola !
This week's Hare, Scooby Doo, was quite pleased about the venue this week. It has been a favourite during COVID restrictions but now, we could venture further - longer - fitter .....
Vice stood in for the GM this week (without her badges - shame) but eventually managed to get the pack in order. The Hare gave out his instructions whilst holding a tub of talcum powder. Of course, Hashers can have problems with chafing ... but this was ridiculous. Then we remembered that he always uses talc.
We were on blobs (or squiggles) and W's as usual .... The trail was very well marked apart from where it wasn't ! We were traipsing through some quite pretty bush, thick in parts and open in other areas. Wildflowers were in abundance. There were a few challenging rises but mostly flat - for walkers. Runners had a bit more to contend with but nearly everyone got to the drink stop .... HOWEVER, I certainly only got to an empty can, empty cups and a tub of talc. Mmmm love a cup of talc !
Back in the circle, the Hare was (quite rightly) charged for everything, (good run though) I believe El Keeno, true to form, ran his own trail - (charged) & others were charged for standing around looking at nothing in particular.
This week's Hills Hash Choir was abysmal - numerous keys and none of them fitted ! ! ! GROAN .....
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Weir Are We ???
The usual suspects gathered at the venue, close to Mundaring Weir, on a cloudy but clear day. The Hare's; Leapfrog & Passiona, had marked the trail earlier but there had been no rain so hoped it would still be intact. GM welcomed the pack and the Hares provided some directions. We all set off together on the same trail for a while before veering off. Walkers were going up a gentle rise until some of them lost their way somewhat and had to be controlled back into line by Leapfrog ! She did provide an alternative trail for those needing a seniors stagger - (thank you) - when things got fairly steep !
The runners had a lovely run, some very steep ups, some checks. The pack kept together (except El Keeno who was doing his own thing as usual). The run seemed quite short, or we just enjoyed ourselves and time passed quickly.
Eventually after checking out the historic old oak tree, we returned back to the start. (walkers - don't remember passing it on the run)
GM called the circle and the Hares got a well deserved down down. There had been a photo opportunity around Porno King's new (to him) car so he got a charge ... Late arrivee Ek Keeno got a charge for making up his own run (again) and the Birthday Boy *Snake Charmer* celebrated his 7th ... there was cake :). Even later arrivee Pick-up Chick managed to avoid a down-down, despite having a new car (to her) as hers had tragically died on a road trip.
We ended the run with the Hills Hash Choir singing the club song in numerous keys .... we need to improve !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2031 - The **It's A Long Way Down There** Run or *Lots of Stand-Ins Run*
A select boutique group of Hashers gathered at the chosen venue. This was a long weekend so a few were away - We even had a stand-in Splash (thank goodness) The Hares, SNB & Rock Bottom, had some challenges setting the run as it had rained somewhat. However, the trail, we were advised, was intact and marked with the usual blobs and giant W's
The pack set off with emergency umbrellas (just in case) and surveyed the magnificent views (ALL GOING IN A DOWNWARD DIRECTION - what goes DOWN - must go Up !) Still, both the walk and the run were very scenic and after the recent precipitation, the Falls were gushing (See Facebook pics)
On return, apart from the tardy Little Weed (obviously taking photos and her time) everyone was back at almost the same time.
The Vice GM forgot she was a stand-in but eventually called the circle and got herself in the circle with SNB and Snake Charmer (assistant) for a deserved down-down. General comments from the floor indicated that the run/walk was indeed excellent - a little long but well worth it. Then the stand-in RA got to work messing with the pack ! Oh, how he does like to take over ... Charges were for El Keeno (arriving late) LMF for too much gabbing WACUDA for some error of judgement on the run and Little Weed for making us wait in the cold. There may have been others but I forgot already !
We sang the song (sort of) and scarpered to get into a warmer environment ...
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2030 - Dripper Does It Single Handed !
Due to circumstances beyond her control, Pink Bits could not be a joint Hare, to set the walk on this run. However, Dripper took charge of the situation and just got on with it ! Everyone arrived at the chosen venue and were sent on their way, not realising that it was possibly a hugely lengthy run. (Even the drink stop was not announced)
We had a good turnout and the intrepid Hashers ran and marched into the distance. The walk was mainly in the local bushland where the wildflowers were truly spectacular. Both runners and walkers got to enjoy the plethora of nature's beauty.
The run was good. Dripper had announced that he'd used 4.5 kgs of flour but there were large gaps (MIND the GAP). He marshalled the pack dutifully though and no-one fell through the gaps. He had also announced that it was not possible to short-cut - BUT there was a potential short-cut and a very keen El Keeno took it (followed by Porno King who should have known better), of course it wasn't a short cut, and passing a local lady out walking her dog she was very concerned that we were going to get lost (no chance - beer was near!).
Luckily enough, Pink Bits did return and had organised a sneaky drink stop ... This pleased everyone who got there. The run was much shorter than expected (Dripper being a bloke, had miscalculated - or just provided directions for a short cut). The runners got back well in front of the walkers and stood there whinging that Dripper hadn't come back with keys - he didn't need to having left his car open but to test the car required initiative....!
Back at the start, GPS got the circle underway, welcoming the new runner, Poc, then charging Dripper for everything and anything he could muster. The RA got his turn and dished out a few middling charges including P K for something, Passiona for signing his family in before the book even turned-up, and long-time-no-see, Duck Duck Go ! Charge from the floor was Pink Bits on WACUDA who had indicated that he had just done a 7.5 km walk with the hounds of the Baskervilles ! Despite that they were still extremely active ! Show Off !
After that we had a rousing rendition of the club song and rushed off to the local Tavern to sit around the long table and have a great meal together.
Another good run !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2029
Crusher Sets A Perfect Run (Pity The Hash Walkers got Lost !)
A gorgeous afternoon awaited the pack as we assembled at Rock Bottom & Crushers place. As it was a birthday run (Rock On Rock Bottom) we could look forward to some cake and a drink stop ! The Hare gave some quite clear instructions (?) and set us on our way.
Part of the way was on road but mostly it was on lovely bushy trail. Runners and walkers criss-crossed here and there, but really there came a point where walkers thought it odd that the trail was on the left (should always be on right !) but we blindly followed the leaders Xs Baggage & Leather Lungs (silly us ...) until we could not find any trail - we meandered like ants all over the place. What a dire set of circumstances !
Eventually we had a discussion and Leapfrog made an executive decision (are we daft ?) that those who wanted to could return the way they came and anyone else could go via the road ! All the walkers returned about the same time, well before the runners. Only one walker, Sheep Shunter, found the drink stop but runners made there.
GM called the circle and after a long pontification about who, what and where, charged the Hare for a good run. The offending Hashers, Xs Baggage & Leather Lungs PLUS Leapfrog (usually her fault !) got justifiable down-downs for leading the pack astray. We had some long-time-no-sees in the circle for a welcome back drink. Dripper was charged with losing his property and GM for new shoes (but in his powerful position, he evaded that charge)
Birthday cheer was bestowed on Rock Bottom and Passiona started the song to end another Hash event. It was a good one !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2028 - 5th September '21
Sheep Shunter Sets Strenuous Sludge Slide !
A wonderful day awaited us on the river in Bassendean. The day was warm, sunny and quite pleasant for a change. We eventually gathered at the chosen venue (after the parking sheriff Pink Bits directed traffic) and the Hare gave out some mysterious directions about run - walk - short walk -shorter walk - and we took off at the rate of knots - knowing there were no hills !
It was a gorgeous run all up, the worst was a steep set of stairs (with rails) but basically a marvelous run ! Well done Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire ! We were told about a drink stop and most of us ended up there - magical views over ...err ... mud flats ? ... BUT ... then the downward spiral started ... Was this a clever ruse by the Hares ?
Well, let's say that many of us were wallowing in the mud (good for the skin but not socks) up to the ankles. Not such a good run now eh ? There were not many options to keep away from the sludge so we bravely soldiered on ! Amazingly, you could not get lost in this area, so we were back at the start before we knew it !
Maid Muffin had it all logged at 5.5 (or so) kms ! It was a long run - Runners seemed to fly over the mud ! Well, not many wet feet ???
Once the pack was accounted for, the stand-in GM (Rock Bottom - who said she was excited about her job ! GPS - take note) called the circle and we had many fines for the Hares (cos they deserved it) Passing the baton to the RA, there were a few charges but as I had zoned out at that time (and PK was absent without a note ?) I can't remember what they were. (A bottle of scotch to anyone next week who can let me know in the circle)
As it was Fathers Day there was a photo opportunity for the Dad's ! Superb ties were donned and all Dads were applauded. (Aah !) After that, we sang the song and tucked into lovely spring rolls thanks to LMF ! Thank you again - yum - !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2027 - P K's Runaway Success !
This week's venue was right in the heartland of the HIlls, Mundaring at Martin Road. Someone forgot to bring a foot (PB) so orange ribbons adorned a post indicating the way. We had a good turnout as the RA had been doing his anti-rain dance lately!
Martin Road has a large open bush block on one side, but the hare decided to explore virgin hash territory and go the other side! At the chalk talk Porno King indicated that the trail was shortish & well marked with blobs and very BIG W's for walkers. However, he stressed that there may be some wet feet due to a creek crossing but with a dodgy self-built bridge (Jerry-built according to PB) and fence climbing was required. We all set off in the same direction on some pretty tracks (some parts on private land but we were quick !)
Then it was up and over, through and out and back to the start in record time. The short walk was very short, the walk took about 40 minutes and was all very scenic bush, and the run followed the walk with a few extra loops around the Mundaring country club frisbee golf course (no-one was out to decapitate the runners due to threatening weather).
Some athletic runners (Olympics still on their minds !) decided to add some extra trail and ran off into the large bush block mentioned earlier. We had to wait ages for them to return before the circle could be called. We are good like that !
The GM welcomed all Hashers and asked what we thought of the run. The score was quite high (9.5/10).... down down for the Hare. However, once the RA got his turn, PK got numerous charges for a short run & some typo's as Hash Hacker - you had to be there ... He tried to get Pink Bits charged for the typo's but that was reversed !!! Little Weed was charged for wandering around with her mobile pointing on the ground - water divining maybe ? and should have been charged for holding-up the pack picking flowers from the bridge crossing. Leather Lungs returned to the fold and was welcomed back with a down down. Menstrual Disorder was charged for allowing Mini-Disorder to struggle through the drainage ditch whilst everyone else (with bigger feet than tine paws) could use the convenient pipe-bridge crossing to get over.
There was a special acknowledgement of 2 special persons celebrating their birthdays - Teflon Kid and Aurora ... Happy Day to you both !
We then sang the song and got to feast on some very colourful birthday cake. Thanks !
OnOn
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2026 - The Extravaganza Of Skippy's 1000th Run ... (or Great Nosh DOSH !)
A smallish pack assembled at the Mt. Helena swimming pool - not for a swimming marathon, thank goodness ! Skippy, as Hare, gave the chalk talk and we were somewhat perturbed as his runs are famous for climbing fences, clambering over ravines or just darn L O N G !
We were assured this was not the case today, and that it was a fairly flat and pleasant walk, at least. Also, a drink stop was dangled as an incentive.
Runners and walkers set off in the same direction and that was when the fun started. Walkers were commenting on the pleasant track with the wildflowers almost bursting out, when the runners burst out of the bush, much to their amusement ! In fact, this happened a couple of times which gave rise to thoughts that Skippy was arranging a clever set of circles, just to confirm this as his 1000 run ! Smart eh ?
Eventually we all got to the celebratory drink stop, deep in the bush, and just had a few minutes of taking in the scenery. Then back to the start.
The GM was back this week, so without too much ado, the circle was called and, obviously, the Hare was called in for a down-down which he richly deserved as well as being presented with his 1000 foot badge ! GM then welcomed a new runner (Hash member of the club beginning with H that we won't mention) Arseholio - see with a name like that need I say more !?
After that the RA - Skippy again - dished out a few charges for dubious SCB's as well as for some bad down-down drink pouring (Pink Bits - you should be ashamed of yourself, they were awful and way too big - (but, actually she was glad to have got rid of that beer and ginger ale !) Aso, Leapfrog and Pink Bits got charged for foraging about in a car carcass (well, better than a roo eh ?)
Passiona was asked to start off our song and he did but way too high ! It was almost sung soprano - again !
We had a great fire keeping us warm but even warmer was the smashing curry made by DOSH and a small team that left us well nourished as we trundled off into the chilly night. Thanks all !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2025 - Fire Extinguisher Blazes The Trail !
Well Hashers, the Hares just get better and better ... This week was a virgin run set by Fire X who had a bit of help from DOSH and WACUDA. We assembled at Fire X's place and were given a chalk talk that advised there was a drink stop and the usual trail markings. Well, when I say usual, I mean they were there but occasionally ALL OVER THE PLACE ! Ha Ha ! W's going M's or Z's or whatever ... but absolutely marking trail - often! Hence ... blazing away !
We rambled on lovely bush trails, relatively flat with emerging wildflowers here, there & everywhere. Of course, it was a stunning day as well so we were very energised !
After a few twists and turns, we met up with the runners at the drink stop who seemed relatively happy (was it the drink stop ?) except for WACUDA who, spurred on by the Olympics, did a full somersault somewhere, with somewhat negative consequences (fail) Having a bleeding elbow can restrict your drinking ability but he is a champion so well done ! Smiles all round !
Back at the start, with everyone present and correct and a spectacular roaring fire welcoming us, (thank you fireman) the stand-in GM Rock Bottom, charged the Hares (well done though !) then progressed to discussing absentees from the day, who had duties other than attending Hash. Some with buns in the oven (!) some on Hash-aways, some disappeared really suddenly & some just not there ??? There may be some suspended down-downs ???
Then, the RA was commended on his BOM connections ! (you know what I mean ) he charged WACUDA for trying to be too athletic - lacking any further evidence, even SCB's were far and few, (weren't they El Keeno & Passiona) he opened up to the floor for charges, but only had some that were negligible !
There was a SPECIAL cake presentation to the RA Skippy, on celebrating his 999 Run ! He was somewhat disappointed (read that GPS !) as it was not a home baked cake ... ! Still, we congratulated him (get a life) in true Hash style !
After that, we had a little sing-a-long and thanks to Fire X, some lovely taco nibbles ! Really big thanks for your hospitality ... and for the great run !
On-On
Pink Bits
Run 2024 - If It's a GPS's Run ... It Must Be Raining !
The intrepid Hills Hashers were yet again descending to the flats for a Sunday run. The pack, tightly packed into limited parking space, gathered on GPS and Rambling Rose's back veranda complete with brazier ! We enjoyed a few pleasantries and were in nervous anticipation of a wet and wild run.
The Hare gave a few chalk talk instructions and advised there was indeed a drink stop ! Runners on blobs and walkers on wobbly w's set off in the same direction. There were some challenges such as traffic on busy roads that needed crossing, as well as random cars on backstreets when you least expected them !
Eventually we arrived at the drink stop ..... or did we ??? Milling about like ants - including the Hare - we were at a loss as to why there was no sign of a drink stop - until we saw the somewhat harassed Rambling Rose, backpack on, racing to meet us ! (more to come)
After a delicious moment of refreshment, we soldiered on back to the start. Of course, our athletes (post Olympics) felt the run had been a little short so returned backwards via the walkers trail of, now, M's ! (Ho Hum !)
Once we all returned, the GM (GPS playing many roles) called the circle. Long-Time-No-Sees, Franger (whatever) Leather Lungs and Xs Baggage (good to see you again) were invited in for a down-down. The Hare (oh him again - multi tasking) got charged for a good run. Then the RA, Skippy, got an accolade for keeping the rain almost off ! (did spit a bit - rain that is ... !) Then he had to ask for charges from the floor as nothing un-professional happened on the run !?!
Of course the issue of *no timely drink stop* was worked out. The charge went to Rambling and the person who blocked her car - Flying Nun .... NOT FAIR I THOUGHT ! Seriously should have been the Hare for forgetting to advise those parked !
Still, we were also promised Hash Nosh cooked by none other than .... YES you got it, the multi talented GPS ! So we moved on with singing our song (merrily again) then got stuck in to a delicious curry - Thank you all who prepared and cooked the meal !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2023 - Downhill in Garvey Park
From The Mud and Mire The Hashers Rise ...
The venue was down on the flat, so hardy Hashers were somewhat out of their comfort zone. It was on the river, so some swimming may have been planned ... (Oh No ... hope not !) The Hare, Downhill, had spent a lot of time setting the run in rather inclement weather. Hence, at the moment of chalk talk, he uttered some words of terror ... " I haven't checked the tide forecast ! " Looking up at the sky we were a bit perturbed as it was blue-ish with not too much cloud. However, most of the runners instantly remarked on having been prepared with changes of clothes AND socks ! Looking good so far ... (didn't see any flippers though ...)
Walkers had a gentle stroll through the local bushland, footpaths and pavements ... If the tide had been any higher we would have been wading ! Where did the Hare find all this great bush ??? It was a really pleasant run with walkers and runners merging a few times. The small pack of athletic runners were enthusiastic and although they lost trail a teeny bit had a good time ! (Crossing the Great Eastern Highway seemed a bit odd, and after finding no trail on the other side crossing back again was even odder - turns out we shouldn't have been anywhere near the Great Eastern at all, bit of a mystery as we were sure we had seen trail. Downhill appeared from nowhere, in a spot where we shouldn't have been, so how he knew we were there was also a mystery! He set us straight and we were soon back on real non-mysterious flour....) PK
Back at the start, we seemed to have mislaid a Hasher or two, but after a lengthy wait, decided to start the circle anyway ... (We think they were ok )
The GM got the Hare in for a Down-down - reports being very good ! The RA was congratulated for a magnificent job keeping the rain away ! He was not really armed with many charges ... so we had a Long-Time-No-See charge for Sheep Shunter (he of the long white legs) and charges from the floor. It seemed that Pink Bits and Choir Girl were chastised for perving on an attractive young male kayaker and Choir Girl just HAD to take a photo ! As if ....
Pink Bits was given a charge for lost socks (found at GPS's house from ages ago I might add !) and a few other down-downs were administered until we ran out !
The sun was still shining as we sang our rendition of the club song ... merrily !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2022 - 25th July 2021
Location - Piesse Brook
Hare - DOSH
The Second Coming .... (Oh Yeah ... !)
For the Hashers who were there - you know what I mean... For others - read on!
The pack assembled at the designated spot where the Hare, DOSH, had set the run solo!
Run instructions were given and everyone set off in the same direction. Knowing the area, there are numerous hills and we were guaranteed to have to go up one of them (OH, I mean two of them !)
It was a very picturesque area with crashing, running creeks and granite with lichen at every turn. Early native flowers were in abundance with frogs croaking in the undergrowth. Ah... bliss ..
BUT NOT SO ON THE RUN AND WALK!
Walkers were soon scaling the heady heights on slippery paths going up, up, up and up... there was going to have to be a down! Runners meanwhile, had run up and up to find their down was only to go up again! The views were amazing, the peace and stillness of the clean air only punctuated by the hoarse rasping of runners as they recovered from the last hill, and some minor cursing as they looked up at the next hill. I believe it was approximately a 7.5 km intense fitness workout (aka torture trail). Well done DOSH. Everyone got back safe and sound.
Back at the start, the Hare (cleverly) provided warm apple cake for a belated birthday celebration (likely story) and there was some random chocolate too!
Circle called, the GM needed to get help to judge the run. It was voted excellent by all. Then the RA took over and charged all and sundry. Notable was the charge for Little Weed (for who knows what...) when she spat out the beverage provided, muttering something about Dry July! It's been very wet... I say! Porno King admitted to a birthday, and promised to provide cake at some random stage in the future. The RA was also rewarded for getting into his stride and ensuring as dry run, first time since his appointment we thought - well done and about time.
We sang the song (merrily) and departed as the coldness started to really bite !
On On
P B (with minor additions from side kick P K) xxx
Run 2021 - 18th July 2021
Location - Leapfrog & Passiona's Place, Stoneville
Birthday Bash Bonfire Bonanza !
Not a bad turn-out for a rainy day ! The Hare, Passiona, was celebrating a milestone birthday (aren't they all nowadays!) and had set a deviously long run that would prove very good despite the weather (7.5kms). His glamorous assistant, Leapfrog, set the walk with large W's!
Runners and walkers set off in different directions, and headed off on gumnut alley and muddy slime ! Walkers had an array of paths, roads and tracks and the trail was relatively flat. At one point, I observed Mini Disorder being manhandled (or is that womanhandled ?) into a backpack ... So cute! We had been advised to check out the community book library at the Black Cockatoo Reserve. It was a treat leafing through a few pages!
The rain decided to become somewhat stronger and wetter towards the end of the run so we had bedraggled Hashers returning back to the start. Walkers had umbrellas but sadly the runners were *au naturelle*, were basically sodden, and steaming wildly upon return (or were they just "hot")!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, three resourceful wonder women had moved mountains (the trailer) to provide a greater amount of shelter for the pack. We all welcomed the bonfire. After a short recoup, GM called the circle and the usual charge was inflicted on the Hares. Run rated good but for a few glitches on the walk. (Obviously 3 tons of lime are not enough) There were charges from the RA (who had done a decent job of keeping the rain mostly off on the day) for long time no-sees & miscreants on the run or walk and then open to the floor. Porno King was in the circle a lot (and I mean a lot) getting down-downs! The birthday boy got to wear his fancy hat with bells, whistles and lights whilst we sang Happy Burpday!
Then it was time for our regular sing-a-long! This week it was sing-a-short ! We were in a hurry to devour the sumptuous feast provided by the Hares and helpers .... we thank you all for the contributions. Delicious!
On-On
Pink Bits
Run 2020 - 11th July 2021
Rock Bottom Right On !
This week we gathered at the lovely Stirk Park in Kalamunda. The weather was kind so Hashers were coming out of hibernation in droves! The Hare, Rock Bottom had cajoled her troops and had a full complement of helpers after all. She gave a convoluted chalk talk with some unusual markings that confused Leapfrog (of course) then sent us all on our way. The run was a combination of bushland and roadway with ENORMOUS W's for walkers (fashioned by Crusher) marking trails a mile away (except at one intersection !) Runners were on the usual blobs !
There was the promise of a drink stop and it was delivered! A warming drink was very welcome as it was somewhat cool! Runners and walkers arrived for drinks within a few minutes of each other. Then it was just a short hop back to the start.
After a bit of reacquainting ourselves, the GM called the circle. The Hare and her minions were given down-downs for a very good run! Then the RA took over and although there were many long time no-sees, Sheep Shunter was awarded the down-down! There were charges for forgetful folk -such as Little Weed for not remembering a PAVLOVA & Pink Bits for forgetting Ramblings socks (which she remembered at the last minute were in the bag!) ... I think Menstrual Disorder got charged for Mini D 's puffy jacket and DOSH got a down-down for just showing off in her GOLD puffy jacket. Light My Fire got to have a down-down for signing in the book last week under the HOUNDS section! Oh it went on and on this week ... very funny ......
In signing-off, we started to sing the song only to be coaxed by Leapfrog to make it more jolly! Remember everyone, from now on MORE JOLLY SINGING!
On-on
Pink Bits xxx
Was That A Run or Was That A Run ?
Location - Underwater, somewhere in Bayswater River Park
Hares - The Disorders
Despite appalling conditions and gale force rain, the wonderful Hares (The Disorder Family - Mini safely ensconced in the car) still set a run ! After a few cautious phone calls they were advised to NOT provide a drink stop till the end (back at the ranch)
So, the usual boutique group of Hashers swam (in cars) down to the Swan River in Bayswater. (NOTE: there were more Hashers this week than at Wooloroo !) We were under shelter (with loos & views) so it was quite comfy. The Hares announced that they had set the run with flour but the rain pelted down behind them washing away any semblance of trail. Pointing to the On-On (Oh no ! not a river swim !) we slipped, slopped and generally waded after the solitary walking Hare ..... runners were left to their own devices.
Miraculously, the heavens were having a break so the full run was clear - just a few drizzle bits. It was a very good run with lots of trail around wetland (where we saw those crocodiles -White Pointer !) admiring many water birds and muscular males, shirtless, whooshing past at the rate of knots, looking like something from Chariots of Fire (Oh stop it Pink Bits) ... he was so well built (swoon ) but just behind Passiona (Leapfrog said HE was never like that !) OOPS ... needed to mention he was NOT a Hasher ! We did encourage him to join !
On the walk we were considering that we had not turned for home for ages but the gorgeous Menstr. Disorder kept us in sight and made sure we were ok !
Back at the start, there was much merriment and camaraderie with drink stop - (with WACUDA missing for a while - not long)
Then GPS called the circle and instantly charged Rock Bottom for her spectacular mud slide (that we only saw after the event - There was a lot of evidence on the grassy slope.) The Hares got charged for setting a wet run - (well done) then the RA did his best to charge someone ,,, anyone - and resorted to scraping the barrel for slightly lost runners and really non-charges I think he even charged himself at one point !
It was a really great run and we sang the song as the dog walkers were arriving for their daily exercise. We were even mistaken for a group of dog fanciers with various pooches and owners converging at our circle ! Great fun ! Great place !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
The Shortest Run In The World With the Largest Amount Of Flour ...
Run 2016 : June 27th 2021
Hare – Dripper: Jorgenson Park, Kalamunda
A good group of Hashers gathered at Jorgenson Park anticipating a cold, wet and windy run this week, with memories of the soaking received during the previous Jorgenson Park run. In fact, it was quite the opposite - well a bit damp but not on the run.
The Hare, Dripper, had chosen the new Community Hub building as the venue. We were informed at the start that the trail may have run out due to flour shortage, nevertheless we all set off eagerly in the same direction. The walk was a short meander, quite pleasant, with the most enormous W's (hence lack of flour) marking the walker’s trail. It wasn’t very long so some did it twice or even thrice!
The run started fine, circle checks had survived the rain (just) and were visible with a keen eye. The checks had a few false trails that kept Skippy and SNB busy, whilst the hare hung back to shepherd the rest of the pack. Eventually however a check led straight to another check… or so we thought, and the hare said “I’m lost” – never a good sign. “Try this way” – which proved a good guess as after a while we picked up trail again. The trail seemed to be leading us towards the horrendous hill (Gooseberry Hill-side) and with a check on the top this harrier bravely set off to check heading downwards (suspecting it was wrong but someone has to check). It was wrong…. And I didn’t see the pack again! I did climb back to the top and discovered trail, then lost it, and looped round the back of the park until I could see hashers again. These turned-out to be Leapfrog and Pink Bits having a private chat and seemingly a wander – not on trail anyway. I continued and re-found trail and ultimately a cold BEER 😊 (mulled wine should be mandatory for winter runs). Distance 4.2 kms.
We all eventually got back and once the GM called the circle, the Hare was charged numerous times! (of course)
The RA in full attire, charged the Hare again, and administered punishment on a number of other Hashers (Choir Girl – for use of phone on trail, Little Weed – for something or other (does it matter), it may or may not have been Dosh’s birthday, but there was no cake, and a few others until the DDs were finished. We were supposed to wear masks due to the outbreak of COVID again, but some of us were unprepared! The circle ended with an especially rousing hash song for the benefit of Kalamunda shire CCTV.
It had been a good hash, then the rain came down ... we left!
On On
Pink Bits xxx (with understudy P K)
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Run 2015?, 20th June 2021
Location – Woorooloo
Hares – Choir Girl and Little Weed
Feeling Very Carbohydrated
A BBQ run – in the middle of winter. Optimism was high when the run was initially announced, but strong weather warnings about Sunday plastered all over the news for days, and the day dawning with torrential rain did not bode well for a vast turn-out.
The hares dodged the downpours to lay a run / walk trail. 4 runners (SNB, Dripper, PK and Passiona) set off to warnings from the hares that the trail was confusing, crossed itself, would go into the burned area, and would come back through the start location then head south.
Confusing was an understatement, checks led to checks, some false trails were all of 5m long. The runners headed north parallel to the road, saw burned trees in the distance, but then the trail appeared to lead across the road and back down the other side. We crossed the starting car park, headed down the path and then the trail vanished. We found various bits of trail but could not tell in which direction we were following it, so turned for home and beer as the rain began.
The walkers had the advantage of the hares, who led them a merry dance up and down slippery hills, and they made it back just before the rain started. Choir Girl then slipped away to heat up the accompanying potatoes to the BBQ and warm some mulled wine, Downhill also slipped away – for a hot roast dinner somewhere.
Luckily, the hares had strategically planned a large shelter at the location, as the heavens opened. GPS called the circle, and there was enough mulled wine for everyone to receive a warm down down.
Rockbottom as the new vice stood in as RA and ran the circle and I guess had been responsible for holding the rain at bay during the run, Leapfrog received the first DD for constantly interrupting her. The two hares Choir Girl and Little Weed then received the verdict – which was that the run/walk was chaotic, but everyone had fun. Apart from a new vice we had a new virgin, Bettina, who delighted in being a virgin again, and gratefully received her warm mulled wine DD.
The rain was really coming down now, the BBQ had been lit but drowned out and stone cold, but with Choir Girl’s hot potato bake, Dripper’s Potato salad, Leap Frog’s fresh bread, sliced tomatoes and Pink Bit’s leftover cakes (brought by Dripper due to Pink Bits flu) there were enough carbs to dampen the enthusiasm of anyone to cook meat. Only Bettina admitted to being on a Keto-diet which she happily abandoned for an hour, hopefully she survived, and we will see her back.
On-On to Jorgenson Park, Kalamunda next week
Your scribe - PK
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The Preamble -
Hope everyone enjoyed the mismanagement meeting held annually !? Congratulations to the award winners ! (Get a life ...)
We voted in a new committee as follows:
GM - GPS
Vice GM - Rock Bottom
RA (Monk) - Skippy
On Sec - Pink Bits
Hash Splash - Dripper
Hash Hacker (in training) - Porno King
Hash Haberdash - Light My Fire
Plus various other positions !
Thanks to all who volunteered ...
The Run - Hardware & Variety Shop Run
Lets just say that it was an unusual venue arranged by this weeks Hare - Skippy. We had a huge turn-out and were given some directions that included the possibility of wet feet. However, there was the promise of a drink stop so we marched on ! The trail was well marked and we soon found ourselves in long grass and totally surprised there was even bushland in this industrial area. Of course, then came the big challenge (for some of us) of getting over a large wire fence. All was well though as we were aided by Mr. Universe and other Adonis - like Hashers who were most helpful (thumbs up) Runners did manage to get the odd toe wet and so on ...
Eventually we wound up at the Coal Dam where the Hare had a delicious drink stop - such a nice spot !
Then plain sailing back to the start.
The NEW GM - GPS - was keen to get us underway so called the circle, quickly charging the Hare for all sorts (good run mostly) Then long time no see - Red Dwarf got a down-down.
Passing the baton to the NEW RA - Skippy gowned up & went crazy dishing out lots of charges. The *Bucket of Shame* was utilised (on his mother !) and many extra down-downs had to be poured (some a bit dodgy)
It had been a good run with good weather and we ended the run singing our song !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
This week's Hare, Fire Extinguisher, announced to the pack (brave person) that runners would follow W's for a change, till they found blobs, then after the drink stop (yay) follow W's again ! Well done Fire X as this caused some consternation among the runners.
We set off from the OBVIOUS television towers into some pleasant bushland on a fairly flat trail that wound around till the drink stop. Then it was a short hop back to the start.
In the circle, the Hare was admonished for no checks and false trails (are the runners serious?) but overall a good run. Down-down administered. Strangely enough, El Keeno (who arrived late and left early ?) was one of the first ones back (SCB ???) Maid Muffin and Pink Bits were fined for not going on trail and instead, walking along the road. (P B has had enough of the tic bites from this area in the past - bound to be waiting for her !) We had to wait a while for Pole Dancer and Belt Up - as they were a bit behind, but did get to the drink stop and thanked the Hare for that ! As opposed to Skippy who indicated to PB & MM that the drinks had all been packed up ?! There may be a D D for the RA next week for that .....
The Hash Splash arrived a bit late as he had a dose of *man-flu*
We sang the song and found it was getting a bit cool so we scattered home !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2034, 17th November - Boardwalks, Septic Treatment Plants & Gumnuts Galore - This Run Had It All !
The pack gathered at the Hare's P. King's new abode, obviously very nosey, as the turn out was amazing ! It was a lovely day so without too much ado, the Hare advised us that there were blobs and W's so we needed to follow correct trails.
The walkers set off on some awful gumnut trail which was a bit of a challenge but soon had us on firm footing meandering past houses. It was a really pleasant walk, not too far and included some new areas. We came back at about the same time as the runners.
The run was brilliant..... Large pack (the girls joined), about 6kms, quite fast (roads), but areas of bush (Black Cockatoo Reserve). Some checks, and some checks which the front runners solved way too fast!
In the circle, PK was complemented for a huge improvement on his last run ! He got a down-down anyway. There were some long-time-no-sees who sculled their drinks like professionals. PK then received another down-down for causing consternation and confusion amongst the friends of the Black Cockatoo reserve (Leapfrog had to explain to them that large circular check markings were not a warning sign for a new large roundabout). Pink Bits got her birthday drink then we were straight into the song with a warning from GM that we had to do better than last week. We didn't .... (sigh) but were marginally improved.
Then it was on to the whole point of the night ... A BBQ ... and those who stayed to enjoy it would have been most appreciative of the wonderful hospitality of PK and Camilla (and little David) . It was a lovely evening but still got a bit cool.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Hash run 10th October - Meandering On Moola !
This week's Hare, Scooby Doo, was quite pleased about the venue this week. It has been a favourite during COVID restrictions but now, we could venture further - longer - fitter .....
Vice stood in for the GM this week (without her badges - shame) but eventually managed to get the pack in order. The Hare gave out his instructions whilst holding a tub of talcum powder. Of course, Hashers can have problems with chafing ... but this was ridiculous. Then we remembered that he always uses talc.
We were on blobs (or squiggles) and W's as usual .... The trail was very well marked apart from where it wasn't ! We were traipsing through some quite pretty bush, thick in parts and open in other areas. Wildflowers were in abundance. There were a few challenging rises but mostly flat - for walkers. Runners had a bit more to contend with but nearly everyone got to the drink stop .... HOWEVER, I certainly only got to an empty can, empty cups and a tub of talc. Mmmm love a cup of talc !
Back in the circle, the Hare was (quite rightly) charged for everything, (good run though) I believe El Keeno, true to form, ran his own trail - (charged) & others were charged for standing around looking at nothing in particular.
This week's Hills Hash Choir was abysmal - numerous keys and none of them fitted ! ! ! GROAN .....
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Weir Are We ???
The usual suspects gathered at the venue, close to Mundaring Weir, on a cloudy but clear day. The Hare's; Leapfrog & Passiona, had marked the trail earlier but there had been no rain so hoped it would still be intact. GM welcomed the pack and the Hares provided some directions. We all set off together on the same trail for a while before veering off. Walkers were going up a gentle rise until some of them lost their way somewhat and had to be controlled back into line by Leapfrog ! She did provide an alternative trail for those needing a seniors stagger - (thank you) - when things got fairly steep !
The runners had a lovely run, some very steep ups, some checks. The pack kept together (except El Keeno who was doing his own thing as usual). The run seemed quite short, or we just enjoyed ourselves and time passed quickly.
Eventually after checking out the historic old oak tree, we returned back to the start. (walkers - don't remember passing it on the run)
GM called the circle and the Hares got a well deserved down down. There had been a photo opportunity around Porno King's new (to him) car so he got a charge ... Late arrivee Ek Keeno got a charge for making up his own run (again) and the Birthday Boy *Snake Charmer* celebrated his 7th ... there was cake :). Even later arrivee Pick-up Chick managed to avoid a down-down, despite having a new car (to her) as hers had tragically died on a road trip.
We ended the run with the Hills Hash Choir singing the club song in numerous keys .... we need to improve !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2031 - The **It's A Long Way Down There** Run or *Lots of Stand-Ins Run*
A select boutique group of Hashers gathered at the chosen venue. This was a long weekend so a few were away - We even had a stand-in Splash (thank goodness) The Hares, SNB & Rock Bottom, had some challenges setting the run as it had rained somewhat. However, the trail, we were advised, was intact and marked with the usual blobs and giant W's
The pack set off with emergency umbrellas (just in case) and surveyed the magnificent views (ALL GOING IN A DOWNWARD DIRECTION - what goes DOWN - must go Up !) Still, both the walk and the run were very scenic and after the recent precipitation, the Falls were gushing (See Facebook pics)
On return, apart from the tardy Little Weed (obviously taking photos and her time) everyone was back at almost the same time.
The Vice GM forgot she was a stand-in but eventually called the circle and got herself in the circle with SNB and Snake Charmer (assistant) for a deserved down-down. General comments from the floor indicated that the run/walk was indeed excellent - a little long but well worth it. Then the stand-in RA got to work messing with the pack ! Oh, how he does like to take over ... Charges were for El Keeno (arriving late) LMF for too much gabbing WACUDA for some error of judgement on the run and Little Weed for making us wait in the cold. There may have been others but I forgot already !
We sang the song (sort of) and scarpered to get into a warmer environment ...
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2030 - Dripper Does It Single Handed !
Due to circumstances beyond her control, Pink Bits could not be a joint Hare, to set the walk on this run. However, Dripper took charge of the situation and just got on with it ! Everyone arrived at the chosen venue and were sent on their way, not realising that it was possibly a hugely lengthy run. (Even the drink stop was not announced)
We had a good turnout and the intrepid Hashers ran and marched into the distance. The walk was mainly in the local bushland where the wildflowers were truly spectacular. Both runners and walkers got to enjoy the plethora of nature's beauty.
The run was good. Dripper had announced that he'd used 4.5 kgs of flour but there were large gaps (MIND the GAP). He marshalled the pack dutifully though and no-one fell through the gaps. He had also announced that it was not possible to short-cut - BUT there was a potential short-cut and a very keen El Keeno took it (followed by Porno King who should have known better), of course it wasn't a short cut, and passing a local lady out walking her dog she was very concerned that we were going to get lost (no chance - beer was near!).
Luckily enough, Pink Bits did return and had organised a sneaky drink stop ... This pleased everyone who got there. The run was much shorter than expected (Dripper being a bloke, had miscalculated - or just provided directions for a short cut). The runners got back well in front of the walkers and stood there whinging that Dripper hadn't come back with keys - he didn't need to having left his car open but to test the car required initiative....!
Back at the start, GPS got the circle underway, welcoming the new runner, Poc, then charging Dripper for everything and anything he could muster. The RA got his turn and dished out a few middling charges including P K for something, Passiona for signing his family in before the book even turned-up, and long-time-no-see, Duck Duck Go ! Charge from the floor was Pink Bits on WACUDA who had indicated that he had just done a 7.5 km walk with the hounds of the Baskervilles ! Despite that they were still extremely active ! Show Off !
After that we had a rousing rendition of the club song and rushed off to the local Tavern to sit around the long table and have a great meal together.
Another good run !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2029
Crusher Sets A Perfect Run (Pity The Hash Walkers got Lost !)
A gorgeous afternoon awaited the pack as we assembled at Rock Bottom & Crushers place. As it was a birthday run (Rock On Rock Bottom) we could look forward to some cake and a drink stop ! The Hare gave some quite clear instructions (?) and set us on our way.
Part of the way was on road but mostly it was on lovely bushy trail. Runners and walkers criss-crossed here and there, but really there came a point where walkers thought it odd that the trail was on the left (should always be on right !) but we blindly followed the leaders Xs Baggage & Leather Lungs (silly us ...) until we could not find any trail - we meandered like ants all over the place. What a dire set of circumstances !
Eventually we had a discussion and Leapfrog made an executive decision (are we daft ?) that those who wanted to could return the way they came and anyone else could go via the road ! All the walkers returned about the same time, well before the runners. Only one walker, Sheep Shunter, found the drink stop but runners made there.
GM called the circle and after a long pontification about who, what and where, charged the Hare for a good run. The offending Hashers, Xs Baggage & Leather Lungs PLUS Leapfrog (usually her fault !) got justifiable down-downs for leading the pack astray. We had some long-time-no-sees in the circle for a welcome back drink. Dripper was charged with losing his property and GM for new shoes (but in his powerful position, he evaded that charge)
Birthday cheer was bestowed on Rock Bottom and Passiona started the song to end another Hash event. It was a good one !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2028 - 5th September '21
Sheep Shunter Sets Strenuous Sludge Slide !
A wonderful day awaited us on the river in Bassendean. The day was warm, sunny and quite pleasant for a change. We eventually gathered at the chosen venue (after the parking sheriff Pink Bits directed traffic) and the Hare gave out some mysterious directions about run - walk - short walk -shorter walk - and we took off at the rate of knots - knowing there were no hills !
It was a gorgeous run all up, the worst was a steep set of stairs (with rails) but basically a marvelous run ! Well done Sheep Shunter and Light My Fire ! We were told about a drink stop and most of us ended up there - magical views over ...err ... mud flats ? ... BUT ... then the downward spiral started ... Was this a clever ruse by the Hares ?
Well, let's say that many of us were wallowing in the mud (good for the skin but not socks) up to the ankles. Not such a good run now eh ? There were not many options to keep away from the sludge so we bravely soldiered on ! Amazingly, you could not get lost in this area, so we were back at the start before we knew it !
Maid Muffin had it all logged at 5.5 (or so) kms ! It was a long run - Runners seemed to fly over the mud ! Well, not many wet feet ???
Once the pack was accounted for, the stand-in GM (Rock Bottom - who said she was excited about her job ! GPS - take note) called the circle and we had many fines for the Hares (cos they deserved it) Passing the baton to the RA, there were a few charges but as I had zoned out at that time (and PK was absent without a note ?) I can't remember what they were. (A bottle of scotch to anyone next week who can let me know in the circle)
As it was Fathers Day there was a photo opportunity for the Dad's ! Superb ties were donned and all Dads were applauded. (Aah !) After that, we sang the song and tucked into lovely spring rolls thanks to LMF ! Thank you again - yum - !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2027 - P K's Runaway Success !
This week's venue was right in the heartland of the HIlls, Mundaring at Martin Road. Someone forgot to bring a foot (PB) so orange ribbons adorned a post indicating the way. We had a good turnout as the RA had been doing his anti-rain dance lately!
Martin Road has a large open bush block on one side, but the hare decided to explore virgin hash territory and go the other side! At the chalk talk Porno King indicated that the trail was shortish & well marked with blobs and very BIG W's for walkers. However, he stressed that there may be some wet feet due to a creek crossing but with a dodgy self-built bridge (Jerry-built according to PB) and fence climbing was required. We all set off in the same direction on some pretty tracks (some parts on private land but we were quick !)
Then it was up and over, through and out and back to the start in record time. The short walk was very short, the walk took about 40 minutes and was all very scenic bush, and the run followed the walk with a few extra loops around the Mundaring country club frisbee golf course (no-one was out to decapitate the runners due to threatening weather).
Some athletic runners (Olympics still on their minds !) decided to add some extra trail and ran off into the large bush block mentioned earlier. We had to wait ages for them to return before the circle could be called. We are good like that !
The GM welcomed all Hashers and asked what we thought of the run. The score was quite high (9.5/10).... down down for the Hare. However, once the RA got his turn, PK got numerous charges for a short run & some typo's as Hash Hacker - you had to be there ... He tried to get Pink Bits charged for the typo's but that was reversed !!! Little Weed was charged for wandering around with her mobile pointing on the ground - water divining maybe ? and should have been charged for holding-up the pack picking flowers from the bridge crossing. Leather Lungs returned to the fold and was welcomed back with a down down. Menstrual Disorder was charged for allowing Mini-Disorder to struggle through the drainage ditch whilst everyone else (with bigger feet than tine paws) could use the convenient pipe-bridge crossing to get over.
There was a special acknowledgement of 2 special persons celebrating their birthdays - Teflon Kid and Aurora ... Happy Day to you both !
We then sang the song and got to feast on some very colourful birthday cake. Thanks !
OnOn
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2026 - The Extravaganza Of Skippy's 1000th Run ... (or Great Nosh DOSH !)
A smallish pack assembled at the Mt. Helena swimming pool - not for a swimming marathon, thank goodness ! Skippy, as Hare, gave the chalk talk and we were somewhat perturbed as his runs are famous for climbing fences, clambering over ravines or just darn L O N G !
We were assured this was not the case today, and that it was a fairly flat and pleasant walk, at least. Also, a drink stop was dangled as an incentive.
Runners and walkers set off in the same direction and that was when the fun started. Walkers were commenting on the pleasant track with the wildflowers almost bursting out, when the runners burst out of the bush, much to their amusement ! In fact, this happened a couple of times which gave rise to thoughts that Skippy was arranging a clever set of circles, just to confirm this as his 1000 run ! Smart eh ?
Eventually we all got to the celebratory drink stop, deep in the bush, and just had a few minutes of taking in the scenery. Then back to the start.
The GM was back this week, so without too much ado, the circle was called and, obviously, the Hare was called in for a down-down which he richly deserved as well as being presented with his 1000 foot badge ! GM then welcomed a new runner (Hash member of the club beginning with H that we won't mention) Arseholio - see with a name like that need I say more !?
After that the RA - Skippy again - dished out a few charges for dubious SCB's as well as for some bad down-down drink pouring (Pink Bits - you should be ashamed of yourself, they were awful and way too big - (but, actually she was glad to have got rid of that beer and ginger ale !) Aso, Leapfrog and Pink Bits got charged for foraging about in a car carcass (well, better than a roo eh ?)
Passiona was asked to start off our song and he did but way too high ! It was almost sung soprano - again !
We had a great fire keeping us warm but even warmer was the smashing curry made by DOSH and a small team that left us well nourished as we trundled off into the chilly night. Thanks all !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2025 - Fire Extinguisher Blazes The Trail !
Well Hashers, the Hares just get better and better ... This week was a virgin run set by Fire X who had a bit of help from DOSH and WACUDA. We assembled at Fire X's place and were given a chalk talk that advised there was a drink stop and the usual trail markings. Well, when I say usual, I mean they were there but occasionally ALL OVER THE PLACE ! Ha Ha ! W's going M's or Z's or whatever ... but absolutely marking trail - often! Hence ... blazing away !
We rambled on lovely bush trails, relatively flat with emerging wildflowers here, there & everywhere. Of course, it was a stunning day as well so we were very energised !
After a few twists and turns, we met up with the runners at the drink stop who seemed relatively happy (was it the drink stop ?) except for WACUDA who, spurred on by the Olympics, did a full somersault somewhere, with somewhat negative consequences (fail) Having a bleeding elbow can restrict your drinking ability but he is a champion so well done ! Smiles all round !
Back at the start, with everyone present and correct and a spectacular roaring fire welcoming us, (thank you fireman) the stand-in GM Rock Bottom, charged the Hares (well done though !) then progressed to discussing absentees from the day, who had duties other than attending Hash. Some with buns in the oven (!) some on Hash-aways, some disappeared really suddenly & some just not there ??? There may be some suspended down-downs ???
Then, the RA was commended on his BOM connections ! (you know what I mean ) he charged WACUDA for trying to be too athletic - lacking any further evidence, even SCB's were far and few, (weren't they El Keeno & Passiona) he opened up to the floor for charges, but only had some that were negligible !
There was a SPECIAL cake presentation to the RA Skippy, on celebrating his 999 Run ! He was somewhat disappointed (read that GPS !) as it was not a home baked cake ... ! Still, we congratulated him (get a life) in true Hash style !
After that, we had a little sing-a-long and thanks to Fire X, some lovely taco nibbles ! Really big thanks for your hospitality ... and for the great run !
On-On
Pink Bits
Run 2024 - If It's a GPS's Run ... It Must Be Raining !
The intrepid Hills Hashers were yet again descending to the flats for a Sunday run. The pack, tightly packed into limited parking space, gathered on GPS and Rambling Rose's back veranda complete with brazier ! We enjoyed a few pleasantries and were in nervous anticipation of a wet and wild run.
The Hare gave a few chalk talk instructions and advised there was indeed a drink stop ! Runners on blobs and walkers on wobbly w's set off in the same direction. There were some challenges such as traffic on busy roads that needed crossing, as well as random cars on backstreets when you least expected them !
Eventually we arrived at the drink stop ..... or did we ??? Milling about like ants - including the Hare - we were at a loss as to why there was no sign of a drink stop - until we saw the somewhat harassed Rambling Rose, backpack on, racing to meet us ! (more to come)
After a delicious moment of refreshment, we soldiered on back to the start. Of course, our athletes (post Olympics) felt the run had been a little short so returned backwards via the walkers trail of, now, M's ! (Ho Hum !)
Once we all returned, the GM (GPS playing many roles) called the circle. Long-Time-No-Sees, Franger (whatever) Leather Lungs and Xs Baggage (good to see you again) were invited in for a down-down. The Hare (oh him again - multi tasking) got charged for a good run. Then the RA, Skippy, got an accolade for keeping the rain almost off ! (did spit a bit - rain that is ... !) Then he had to ask for charges from the floor as nothing un-professional happened on the run !?!
Of course the issue of *no timely drink stop* was worked out. The charge went to Rambling and the person who blocked her car - Flying Nun .... NOT FAIR I THOUGHT ! Seriously should have been the Hare for forgetting to advise those parked !
Still, we were also promised Hash Nosh cooked by none other than .... YES you got it, the multi talented GPS ! So we moved on with singing our song (merrily again) then got stuck in to a delicious curry - Thank you all who prepared and cooked the meal !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2023 - Downhill in Garvey Park
From The Mud and Mire The Hashers Rise ...
The venue was down on the flat, so hardy Hashers were somewhat out of their comfort zone. It was on the river, so some swimming may have been planned ... (Oh No ... hope not !) The Hare, Downhill, had spent a lot of time setting the run in rather inclement weather. Hence, at the moment of chalk talk, he uttered some words of terror ... " I haven't checked the tide forecast ! " Looking up at the sky we were a bit perturbed as it was blue-ish with not too much cloud. However, most of the runners instantly remarked on having been prepared with changes of clothes AND socks ! Looking good so far ... (didn't see any flippers though ...)
Walkers had a gentle stroll through the local bushland, footpaths and pavements ... If the tide had been any higher we would have been wading ! Where did the Hare find all this great bush ??? It was a really pleasant run with walkers and runners merging a few times. The small pack of athletic runners were enthusiastic and although they lost trail a teeny bit had a good time ! (Crossing the Great Eastern Highway seemed a bit odd, and after finding no trail on the other side crossing back again was even odder - turns out we shouldn't have been anywhere near the Great Eastern at all, bit of a mystery as we were sure we had seen trail. Downhill appeared from nowhere, in a spot where we shouldn't have been, so how he knew we were there was also a mystery! He set us straight and we were soon back on real non-mysterious flour....) PK
Back at the start, we seemed to have mislaid a Hasher or two, but after a lengthy wait, decided to start the circle anyway ... (We think they were ok )
The GM got the Hare in for a Down-down - reports being very good ! The RA was congratulated for a magnificent job keeping the rain away ! He was not really armed with many charges ... so we had a Long-Time-No-See charge for Sheep Shunter (he of the long white legs) and charges from the floor. It seemed that Pink Bits and Choir Girl were chastised for perving on an attractive young male kayaker and Choir Girl just HAD to take a photo ! As if ....
Pink Bits was given a charge for lost socks (found at GPS's house from ages ago I might add !) and a few other down-downs were administered until we ran out !
The sun was still shining as we sang our rendition of the club song ... merrily !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
Run 2022 - 25th July 2021
Location - Piesse Brook
Hare - DOSH
The Second Coming .... (Oh Yeah ... !)
For the Hashers who were there - you know what I mean... For others - read on!
The pack assembled at the designated spot where the Hare, DOSH, had set the run solo!
Run instructions were given and everyone set off in the same direction. Knowing the area, there are numerous hills and we were guaranteed to have to go up one of them (OH, I mean two of them !)
It was a very picturesque area with crashing, running creeks and granite with lichen at every turn. Early native flowers were in abundance with frogs croaking in the undergrowth. Ah... bliss ..
BUT NOT SO ON THE RUN AND WALK!
Walkers were soon scaling the heady heights on slippery paths going up, up, up and up... there was going to have to be a down! Runners meanwhile, had run up and up to find their down was only to go up again! The views were amazing, the peace and stillness of the clean air only punctuated by the hoarse rasping of runners as they recovered from the last hill, and some minor cursing as they looked up at the next hill. I believe it was approximately a 7.5 km intense fitness workout (aka torture trail). Well done DOSH. Everyone got back safe and sound.
Back at the start, the Hare (cleverly) provided warm apple cake for a belated birthday celebration (likely story) and there was some random chocolate too!
Circle called, the GM needed to get help to judge the run. It was voted excellent by all. Then the RA took over and charged all and sundry. Notable was the charge for Little Weed (for who knows what...) when she spat out the beverage provided, muttering something about Dry July! It's been very wet... I say! Porno King admitted to a birthday, and promised to provide cake at some random stage in the future. The RA was also rewarded for getting into his stride and ensuring as dry run, first time since his appointment we thought - well done and about time.
We sang the song (merrily) and departed as the coldness started to really bite !
On On
P B (with minor additions from side kick P K) xxx
Run 2021 - 18th July 2021
Location - Leapfrog & Passiona's Place, Stoneville
Birthday Bash Bonfire Bonanza !
Not a bad turn-out for a rainy day ! The Hare, Passiona, was celebrating a milestone birthday (aren't they all nowadays!) and had set a deviously long run that would prove very good despite the weather (7.5kms). His glamorous assistant, Leapfrog, set the walk with large W's!
Runners and walkers set off in different directions, and headed off on gumnut alley and muddy slime ! Walkers had an array of paths, roads and tracks and the trail was relatively flat. At one point, I observed Mini Disorder being manhandled (or is that womanhandled ?) into a backpack ... So cute! We had been advised to check out the community book library at the Black Cockatoo Reserve. It was a treat leafing through a few pages!
The rain decided to become somewhat stronger and wetter towards the end of the run so we had bedraggled Hashers returning back to the start. Walkers had umbrellas but sadly the runners were *au naturelle*, were basically sodden, and steaming wildly upon return (or were they just "hot")!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, three resourceful wonder women had moved mountains (the trailer) to provide a greater amount of shelter for the pack. We all welcomed the bonfire. After a short recoup, GM called the circle and the usual charge was inflicted on the Hares. Run rated good but for a few glitches on the walk. (Obviously 3 tons of lime are not enough) There were charges from the RA (who had done a decent job of keeping the rain mostly off on the day) for long time no-sees & miscreants on the run or walk and then open to the floor. Porno King was in the circle a lot (and I mean a lot) getting down-downs! The birthday boy got to wear his fancy hat with bells, whistles and lights whilst we sang Happy Burpday!
Then it was time for our regular sing-a-long! This week it was sing-a-short ! We were in a hurry to devour the sumptuous feast provided by the Hares and helpers .... we thank you all for the contributions. Delicious!
On-On
Pink Bits
Run 2020 - 11th July 2021
Rock Bottom Right On !
This week we gathered at the lovely Stirk Park in Kalamunda. The weather was kind so Hashers were coming out of hibernation in droves! The Hare, Rock Bottom had cajoled her troops and had a full complement of helpers after all. She gave a convoluted chalk talk with some unusual markings that confused Leapfrog (of course) then sent us all on our way. The run was a combination of bushland and roadway with ENORMOUS W's for walkers (fashioned by Crusher) marking trails a mile away (except at one intersection !) Runners were on the usual blobs !
There was the promise of a drink stop and it was delivered! A warming drink was very welcome as it was somewhat cool! Runners and walkers arrived for drinks within a few minutes of each other. Then it was just a short hop back to the start.
After a bit of reacquainting ourselves, the GM called the circle. The Hare and her minions were given down-downs for a very good run! Then the RA took over and although there were many long time no-sees, Sheep Shunter was awarded the down-down! There were charges for forgetful folk -such as Little Weed for not remembering a PAVLOVA & Pink Bits for forgetting Ramblings socks (which she remembered at the last minute were in the bag!) ... I think Menstrual Disorder got charged for Mini D 's puffy jacket and DOSH got a down-down for just showing off in her GOLD puffy jacket. Light My Fire got to have a down-down for signing in the book last week under the HOUNDS section! Oh it went on and on this week ... very funny ......
In signing-off, we started to sing the song only to be coaxed by Leapfrog to make it more jolly! Remember everyone, from now on MORE JOLLY SINGING!
On-on
Pink Bits xxx
Was That A Run or Was That A Run ?
Location - Underwater, somewhere in Bayswater River Park
Hares - The Disorders
Despite appalling conditions and gale force rain, the wonderful Hares (The Disorder Family - Mini safely ensconced in the car) still set a run ! After a few cautious phone calls they were advised to NOT provide a drink stop till the end (back at the ranch)
So, the usual boutique group of Hashers swam (in cars) down to the Swan River in Bayswater. (NOTE: there were more Hashers this week than at Wooloroo !) We were under shelter (with loos & views) so it was quite comfy. The Hares announced that they had set the run with flour but the rain pelted down behind them washing away any semblance of trail. Pointing to the On-On (Oh no ! not a river swim !) we slipped, slopped and generally waded after the solitary walking Hare ..... runners were left to their own devices.
Miraculously, the heavens were having a break so the full run was clear - just a few drizzle bits. It was a very good run with lots of trail around wetland (where we saw those crocodiles -White Pointer !) admiring many water birds and muscular males, shirtless, whooshing past at the rate of knots, looking like something from Chariots of Fire (Oh stop it Pink Bits) ... he was so well built (swoon ) but just behind Passiona (Leapfrog said HE was never like that !) OOPS ... needed to mention he was NOT a Hasher ! We did encourage him to join !
On the walk we were considering that we had not turned for home for ages but the gorgeous Menstr. Disorder kept us in sight and made sure we were ok !
Back at the start, there was much merriment and camaraderie with drink stop - (with WACUDA missing for a while - not long)
Then GPS called the circle and instantly charged Rock Bottom for her spectacular mud slide (that we only saw after the event - There was a lot of evidence on the grassy slope.) The Hares got charged for setting a wet run - (well done) then the RA did his best to charge someone ,,, anyone - and resorted to scraping the barrel for slightly lost runners and really non-charges I think he even charged himself at one point !
It was a really great run and we sang the song as the dog walkers were arriving for their daily exercise. We were even mistaken for a group of dog fanciers with various pooches and owners converging at our circle ! Great fun ! Great place !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
The Shortest Run In The World With the Largest Amount Of Flour ...
Run 2016 : June 27th 2021
Hare – Dripper: Jorgenson Park, Kalamunda
A good group of Hashers gathered at Jorgenson Park anticipating a cold, wet and windy run this week, with memories of the soaking received during the previous Jorgenson Park run. In fact, it was quite the opposite - well a bit damp but not on the run.
The Hare, Dripper, had chosen the new Community Hub building as the venue. We were informed at the start that the trail may have run out due to flour shortage, nevertheless we all set off eagerly in the same direction. The walk was a short meander, quite pleasant, with the most enormous W's (hence lack of flour) marking the walker’s trail. It wasn’t very long so some did it twice or even thrice!
The run started fine, circle checks had survived the rain (just) and were visible with a keen eye. The checks had a few false trails that kept Skippy and SNB busy, whilst the hare hung back to shepherd the rest of the pack. Eventually however a check led straight to another check… or so we thought, and the hare said “I’m lost” – never a good sign. “Try this way” – which proved a good guess as after a while we picked up trail again. The trail seemed to be leading us towards the horrendous hill (Gooseberry Hill-side) and with a check on the top this harrier bravely set off to check heading downwards (suspecting it was wrong but someone has to check). It was wrong…. And I didn’t see the pack again! I did climb back to the top and discovered trail, then lost it, and looped round the back of the park until I could see hashers again. These turned-out to be Leapfrog and Pink Bits having a private chat and seemingly a wander – not on trail anyway. I continued and re-found trail and ultimately a cold BEER 😊 (mulled wine should be mandatory for winter runs). Distance 4.2 kms.
We all eventually got back and once the GM called the circle, the Hare was charged numerous times! (of course)
The RA in full attire, charged the Hare again, and administered punishment on a number of other Hashers (Choir Girl – for use of phone on trail, Little Weed – for something or other (does it matter), it may or may not have been Dosh’s birthday, but there was no cake, and a few others until the DDs were finished. We were supposed to wear masks due to the outbreak of COVID again, but some of us were unprepared! The circle ended with an especially rousing hash song for the benefit of Kalamunda shire CCTV.
It had been a good hash, then the rain came down ... we left!
On On
Pink Bits xxx (with understudy P K)
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Run 2015?, 20th June 2021
Location – Woorooloo
Hares – Choir Girl and Little Weed
Feeling Very Carbohydrated
A BBQ run – in the middle of winter. Optimism was high when the run was initially announced, but strong weather warnings about Sunday plastered all over the news for days, and the day dawning with torrential rain did not bode well for a vast turn-out.
The hares dodged the downpours to lay a run / walk trail. 4 runners (SNB, Dripper, PK and Passiona) set off to warnings from the hares that the trail was confusing, crossed itself, would go into the burned area, and would come back through the start location then head south.
Confusing was an understatement, checks led to checks, some false trails were all of 5m long. The runners headed north parallel to the road, saw burned trees in the distance, but then the trail appeared to lead across the road and back down the other side. We crossed the starting car park, headed down the path and then the trail vanished. We found various bits of trail but could not tell in which direction we were following it, so turned for home and beer as the rain began.
The walkers had the advantage of the hares, who led them a merry dance up and down slippery hills, and they made it back just before the rain started. Choir Girl then slipped away to heat up the accompanying potatoes to the BBQ and warm some mulled wine, Downhill also slipped away – for a hot roast dinner somewhere.
Luckily, the hares had strategically planned a large shelter at the location, as the heavens opened. GPS called the circle, and there was enough mulled wine for everyone to receive a warm down down.
Rockbottom as the new vice stood in as RA and ran the circle and I guess had been responsible for holding the rain at bay during the run, Leapfrog received the first DD for constantly interrupting her. The two hares Choir Girl and Little Weed then received the verdict – which was that the run/walk was chaotic, but everyone had fun. Apart from a new vice we had a new virgin, Bettina, who delighted in being a virgin again, and gratefully received her warm mulled wine DD.
The rain was really coming down now, the BBQ had been lit but drowned out and stone cold, but with Choir Girl’s hot potato bake, Dripper’s Potato salad, Leap Frog’s fresh bread, sliced tomatoes and Pink Bit’s leftover cakes (brought by Dripper due to Pink Bits flu) there were enough carbs to dampen the enthusiasm of anyone to cook meat. Only Bettina admitted to being on a Keto-diet which she happily abandoned for an hour, hopefully she survived, and we will see her back.
On-On to Jorgenson Park, Kalamunda next week
Your scribe - PK
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The Preamble -
Hope everyone enjoyed the mismanagement meeting held annually !? Congratulations to the award winners ! (Get a life ...)
We voted in a new committee as follows:
GM - GPS
Vice GM - Rock Bottom
RA (Monk) - Skippy
On Sec - Pink Bits
Hash Splash - Dripper
Hash Hacker (in training) - Porno King
Hash Haberdash - Light My Fire
Plus various other positions !
Thanks to all who volunteered ...
The Run - Hardware & Variety Shop Run
Lets just say that it was an unusual venue arranged by this weeks Hare - Skippy. We had a huge turn-out and were given some directions that included the possibility of wet feet. However, there was the promise of a drink stop so we marched on ! The trail was well marked and we soon found ourselves in long grass and totally surprised there was even bushland in this industrial area. Of course, then came the big challenge (for some of us) of getting over a large wire fence. All was well though as we were aided by Mr. Universe and other Adonis - like Hashers who were most helpful (thumbs up) Runners did manage to get the odd toe wet and so on ...
Eventually we wound up at the Coal Dam where the Hare had a delicious drink stop - such a nice spot !
Then plain sailing back to the start.
The NEW GM - GPS - was keen to get us underway so called the circle, quickly charging the Hare for all sorts (good run mostly) Then long time no see - Red Dwarf got a down-down.
Passing the baton to the NEW RA - Skippy gowned up & went crazy dishing out lots of charges. The *Bucket of Shame* was utilised (on his mother !) and many extra down-downs had to be poured (some a bit dodgy)
It had been a good run with good weather and we ended the run singing our song !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
6/6/21
White Pointer Had Us Pointing The Right Way !
Awesome day considering it looked like really bad weather earlier. The somewhat small, but boutique pack, gathered under shelter in the train park. We had a visit from Dog Whisperer who just dropped by to say Hi ! He wasn't going to participate today ....
The Hare, White Pointer, had set the run in the early part of the day while the sun was shining ... then it poured. Run instructions were clear that there may not be much trail (gasp) - However, some secret directions were given and we all set off on the same track, in the wild hope of finding the trail.
Here and there the flour markings were almost visible, especially on trees, but Lo ! and Behold ! ... the Hare was shepherding us about just like a border collie rounding sheep (bit similar really ...!) He was so good - keeping an eye on the walkers as well as the runners - we were all well looked after. Well done WP !
It was a relatively short run due to possible weather issues, so we were soon back at the park, partaking of refreshments. No lost Hashers.
The Stand-in GM gathered the pack and got comments from everyone. It was voted a good run and walk so down-down for Hare ! The stand-in RA -GPS - (who had done an amazing job keeping the rain off !) then let loose with a plethora of charges ... A N D Taa ! Daa ! ...........
I think a first for Hills Hash, - he administered ICE to 3 unsuspecting Hashers to sit on ! (only ice cubes but still ....!) Mental Disorder, Little Weed and Choir Girl all got that pleasure ! Still, it was GPS's last hurrah before the new committee take's control !!! Other than that, Light My Fire was caught leaving an obvious trail of fuchsia coloured petals - (Tsk Tsk !) and some other minor charges.
We had the Hash Horn back so this week the song was not at soprano level ! It had been a good day ....
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
White Pointer Had Us Pointing The Right Way !
Awesome day considering it looked like really bad weather earlier. The somewhat small, but boutique pack, gathered under shelter in the train park. We had a visit from Dog Whisperer who just dropped by to say Hi ! He wasn't going to participate today ....
The Hare, White Pointer, had set the run in the early part of the day while the sun was shining ... then it poured. Run instructions were clear that there may not be much trail (gasp) - However, some secret directions were given and we all set off on the same track, in the wild hope of finding the trail.
Here and there the flour markings were almost visible, especially on trees, but Lo ! and Behold ! ... the Hare was shepherding us about just like a border collie rounding sheep (bit similar really ...!) He was so good - keeping an eye on the walkers as well as the runners - we were all well looked after. Well done WP !
It was a relatively short run due to possible weather issues, so we were soon back at the park, partaking of refreshments. No lost Hashers.
The Stand-in GM gathered the pack and got comments from everyone. It was voted a good run and walk so down-down for Hare ! The stand-in RA -GPS - (who had done an amazing job keeping the rain off !) then let loose with a plethora of charges ... A N D Taa ! Daa ! ...........
I think a first for Hills Hash, - he administered ICE to 3 unsuspecting Hashers to sit on ! (only ice cubes but still ....!) Mental Disorder, Little Weed and Choir Girl all got that pleasure ! Still, it was GPS's last hurrah before the new committee take's control !!! Other than that, Light My Fire was caught leaving an obvious trail of fuchsia coloured petals - (Tsk Tsk !) and some other minor charges.
We had the Hash Horn back so this week the song was not at soprano level ! It had been a good day ....
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
31/05/21
The *Run, Kanga ... Run* Run !
Wet weather was threatening before the pack got on its way. The Hares, P King and Pick Up Chick did a great job of marking the trail with bucket loads of lime earlier in the day.
We were advised that it would be a short run due to slippery slopes (were we skiing ?) and dangerous conditions (Hashing is dangerous) We set off and soon discovered the walkers trail was very rocky and somewhat steep. It was nice to see the runners constantly criss-crossing the walkers trail, so we were able to urge them on ! (Move out of the way !)
In record time we returned to the start so, some intrepid souls took off to check out the terrain by themselves (thereby absolving everyone else from any issues)
As we were about to give up hope of ever seeing our GM again, she and Scooby returned to the fold somewhat flustered but intact !
Circle called (getting dark folks ... ) the GM administered the usual down-downs to the Hares (who had done a really good job setting the trail !) then welcomed a new Hasher, Wednesday, of the Adams Family ensemble. (Hope to meet the rest of the family) The RA - GPS again - got stuck into umbrella holders and other random charges. One of the highlights was the chase by Karri (dog) of Skippy (a REAL kangaroo) who did a magnificent leap of Olympic proportions over Skimpy (Hasher) You had to be there ! Down Down !
We sang our song (at almost soprano level !) and with the impending clouds and darkness approaching, we did not hang about much.
On-On
P B xxx
The *Run, Kanga ... Run* Run !
Wet weather was threatening before the pack got on its way. The Hares, P King and Pick Up Chick did a great job of marking the trail with bucket loads of lime earlier in the day.
We were advised that it would be a short run due to slippery slopes (were we skiing ?) and dangerous conditions (Hashing is dangerous) We set off and soon discovered the walkers trail was very rocky and somewhat steep. It was nice to see the runners constantly criss-crossing the walkers trail, so we were able to urge them on ! (Move out of the way !)
In record time we returned to the start so, some intrepid souls took off to check out the terrain by themselves (thereby absolving everyone else from any issues)
As we were about to give up hope of ever seeing our GM again, she and Scooby returned to the fold somewhat flustered but intact !
Circle called (getting dark folks ... ) the GM administered the usual down-downs to the Hares (who had done a really good job setting the trail !) then welcomed a new Hasher, Wednesday, of the Adams Family ensemble. (Hope to meet the rest of the family) The RA - GPS again - got stuck into umbrella holders and other random charges. One of the highlights was the chase by Karri (dog) of Skippy (a REAL kangaroo) who did a magnificent leap of Olympic proportions over Skimpy (Hasher) You had to be there ! Down Down !
We sang our song (at almost soprano level !) and with the impending clouds and darkness approaching, we did not hang about much.
On-On
P B xxx
23/05/21
The *Be Prepared* Run !
The Hares this week (Rock Bottom & SNB) chose a current Scout Hall as the venue, which used to be a tiny school. Interestingly, 2 Hashers had some connection to the place.
We were given some run instructions, told that kilograms of lime had been used and the hope that it would not rain anymore ... (Rain forecast !)
Runners went off in the opposite direction to walkers and lacking the Hash Horn, we did not hear them ! They really enjoyed the run ...
The walkers trail was very pleasant, with undulating bush tracks, including some shady secret paths. There were slight rises here and there and with the very well marked trail, we had no problem returning. THEN THE RAIN CAME DOWN ... but we were prepared as there was a great tin roof shelter, with benches, so we tried to have the circle in the usual manner but it required a lot of shouting.
The GM managed to get herself heard - then the stand-in RA GPS (who felt badly done by the stand-in GM last week for having been 'sacked') took over with his jovial humour and witty tales ! There were a few charges for things that I have forgotten ... however, one was for a ridiculously yellow raincoat I think !?
We managed to dash back to our cars in between downpours and headed off to drier/warmer places.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
The *Be Prepared* Run !
The Hares this week (Rock Bottom & SNB) chose a current Scout Hall as the venue, which used to be a tiny school. Interestingly, 2 Hashers had some connection to the place.
We were given some run instructions, told that kilograms of lime had been used and the hope that it would not rain anymore ... (Rain forecast !)
Runners went off in the opposite direction to walkers and lacking the Hash Horn, we did not hear them ! They really enjoyed the run ...
The walkers trail was very pleasant, with undulating bush tracks, including some shady secret paths. There were slight rises here and there and with the very well marked trail, we had no problem returning. THEN THE RAIN CAME DOWN ... but we were prepared as there was a great tin roof shelter, with benches, so we tried to have the circle in the usual manner but it required a lot of shouting.
The GM managed to get herself heard - then the stand-in RA GPS (who felt badly done by the stand-in GM last week for having been 'sacked') took over with his jovial humour and witty tales ! There were a few charges for things that I have forgotten ... however, one was for a ridiculously yellow raincoat I think !?
We managed to dash back to our cars in between downpours and headed off to drier/warmer places.
On On
Pink Bits xxx
16/05/21
It Was The Best of Runs & The Worst of Runs - Run !
Just as the Hare said - and no truer words ... ! We gathered under the BBQ Gazebo in Pioneer Park Mt Helena. The weather was kind and balmy - perfect for a Hash run ... We had a very good turn-out including some visitors. The Hare, after uttering those *epic* words, directed us all off in the same direction. We were to be on flour blobs for runners and W's for walkers. Quite soon after setting off, it was apparent that the flour must have been in short supply as the trail was marked sparsely. Walkers followed the road, then some bush tracks, then some more twists and turns till we were somewhat confused up the rear (!) Eventually, we found the Hare guiding us at intersections, even suggesting short cuts, and headed back to the start. Needless to say, the front running walkers were almost the last back due to trail ambiguity and other such challenges.
Mind you, runners had the shortest of runs and were already back scoffing too many sausage rolls (thanks On Hold !) and having some drinks ! The Vice GM called the circle and had a warm welcome to 3 new runners - Angeline, Menstrual Disorder and Mental Disorder ! Great to meet you ... oh ! I nearly forgot we had 2 new woofers too ... Mini Disorder and Cleo from Freo ! It was interesting to say the least.
The surprise stand in RA Skippy (giving GPS a day off !) started with a few charges for sort-of short cutting but after the short run who can say where the short cuts were anyway ? There were some disturbing grumblings from the majority of walkers that they had lost trail and it was not fair that the tail-enders came in first ... always complaining !
Charges from the floor were far and few, mostly insignificant ! However, we managed to consume more than the usual number of down-downs ....
We ended with the usual song and got stuck into the great Hash Nosh provided by Light My Fire. Thank you ...
On-On to our AGPU 12 June - lock it in your diaries !
Pink Bits xxx
It Was The Best of Runs & The Worst of Runs - Run !
Just as the Hare said - and no truer words ... ! We gathered under the BBQ Gazebo in Pioneer Park Mt Helena. The weather was kind and balmy - perfect for a Hash run ... We had a very good turn-out including some visitors. The Hare, after uttering those *epic* words, directed us all off in the same direction. We were to be on flour blobs for runners and W's for walkers. Quite soon after setting off, it was apparent that the flour must have been in short supply as the trail was marked sparsely. Walkers followed the road, then some bush tracks, then some more twists and turns till we were somewhat confused up the rear (!) Eventually, we found the Hare guiding us at intersections, even suggesting short cuts, and headed back to the start. Needless to say, the front running walkers were almost the last back due to trail ambiguity and other such challenges.
Mind you, runners had the shortest of runs and were already back scoffing too many sausage rolls (thanks On Hold !) and having some drinks ! The Vice GM called the circle and had a warm welcome to 3 new runners - Angeline, Menstrual Disorder and Mental Disorder ! Great to meet you ... oh ! I nearly forgot we had 2 new woofers too ... Mini Disorder and Cleo from Freo ! It was interesting to say the least.
The surprise stand in RA Skippy (giving GPS a day off !) started with a few charges for sort-of short cutting but after the short run who can say where the short cuts were anyway ? There were some disturbing grumblings from the majority of walkers that they had lost trail and it was not fair that the tail-enders came in first ... always complaining !
Charges from the floor were far and few, mostly insignificant ! However, we managed to consume more than the usual number of down-downs ....
We ended with the usual song and got stuck into the great Hash Nosh provided by Light My Fire. Thank you ...
On-On to our AGPU 12 June - lock it in your diaries !
Pink Bits xxx
9/05/21
The Long & The Short & The Tall Run
A magnificent afternoon had the pack milling about at Blackboy Hill in Greenmount. Not even a slight chance of rain and seeing as GPS was the Hare, this was an event in itself. Usually it is teeming with rain and awful ... you've turned a corner GPS !
GPS had to re-educate the pack as to checks, dots and arrows prior to the run. (?)
We set off in opposite directions so that the runners could enjoy a bit of a frolic in the suburbs then joined up somewhat, then only occasionally did our paths cross.
This was a very pleasant trail utilising as many parkland trails as possible. GPS had to advise certain Hashers (short ones) that there was a creek (without flowing water) to cross so had alternative trails. Maid Muffin certainly was pleased about that ! We traversed parts of the suburb that were new to us, so this was indeed a great run.
On returning, GM got the circle underway, and of course, charged the Hare for his ridiculous ovation on checks when, in fact, the runners were wondering where they were, ... obviously not many ! The RA was absent so GPS (multitasking ... !) had to take on that role as well ... He was lost for words so got in a long time no see returnee Hasher from Telfer (a long lost mysterious place) Morticia - from the Adam's Family Tribe ... welcome and come again soon ! Apart from that the charges were somewhat minimal as we wanted to eat some more of On Hold's muffins and Mothers Day snacks. The winner of the Mum's Day floral arrangement was .... Maid Muffin .....
There were too many muffins so we sang the song with gusto and moved on !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
The Long & The Short & The Tall Run
A magnificent afternoon had the pack milling about at Blackboy Hill in Greenmount. Not even a slight chance of rain and seeing as GPS was the Hare, this was an event in itself. Usually it is teeming with rain and awful ... you've turned a corner GPS !
GPS had to re-educate the pack as to checks, dots and arrows prior to the run. (?)
We set off in opposite directions so that the runners could enjoy a bit of a frolic in the suburbs then joined up somewhat, then only occasionally did our paths cross.
This was a very pleasant trail utilising as many parkland trails as possible. GPS had to advise certain Hashers (short ones) that there was a creek (without flowing water) to cross so had alternative trails. Maid Muffin certainly was pleased about that ! We traversed parts of the suburb that were new to us, so this was indeed a great run.
On returning, GM got the circle underway, and of course, charged the Hare for his ridiculous ovation on checks when, in fact, the runners were wondering where they were, ... obviously not many ! The RA was absent so GPS (multitasking ... !) had to take on that role as well ... He was lost for words so got in a long time no see returnee Hasher from Telfer (a long lost mysterious place) Morticia - from the Adam's Family Tribe ... welcome and come again soon ! Apart from that the charges were somewhat minimal as we wanted to eat some more of On Hold's muffins and Mothers Day snacks. The winner of the Mum's Day floral arrangement was .... Maid Muffin .....
There were too many muffins so we sang the song with gusto and moved on !
On On
Pink Bits xxx
02/05/21
Drink Stop ? What Drink Stop ? Run ....
Lovely day to have a Hash Run in Glen Forrest. The Hare's, Pink Bits & Dripper, promised some new trails/tracks so there was a bit of expectation among the pack. We had some competition from the thousands of people at the park having a jolly good time birthday partying ! We got free chips .... no complaints.
The runners were dispatched first by Dripper, this was so that Pink Bits could advise the walkers that THEY would have a drink stop ! Sadly, the runners were not going to be passing that way !
The walkers were sent off into a bush/BMX track then on to the (ridiculous) 500mtrs on the pavement along the busy highway. However, after that the well marked walk wound its way down some new tracks/gravel roads (more development ?) arriving at the Pina Colada drink stop. Need I say more ... an unequivocal success, rated highly by walkers. The runner's trail was not particularly long, but apparently, occasionally, confusing a bit ! They did have some tough slogging but still enjoyed their run. (apart from not having the superb drink stop !)
As I sat at the DS waiting for the walkers, I was giggling a lot that the runners, horn blown loudly, were only about 50 mtrs away ! Still, sorry, their trail was set elsewhere ! ! !
Back at the train park, the GM (stand-in Pink Bits - multitasking again) called the circle, noting that this week everyone was back. The partying was still happening as Snake Charmer got into the sack race - and WON - awkward ... not sure if the birthday person was upset - Could have been a 50th !!!
The Hares were called in the circle (groan) and given a down down for a good run. Then the (often absent without a note) RA charged the late arrivees and other sundries HOWEVER, Dripper kept being charged for not including runners for the drink stop ! Snake Charmer got a very unusual charge ..... for being somewhat reluctant to keep on traill once his friends, the *bull ants* showed up ! Good charge ! GPS faced a down down for forgetting his mask - disappointing ... and maybe there was another charge or two from the floor.
We then sang the song and proceeded to BBQ (NOTE: Little Weed was charged for cooking a sausage BEFORE we started the circle - appalling)
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Drink Stop ? What Drink Stop ? Run ....
Lovely day to have a Hash Run in Glen Forrest. The Hare's, Pink Bits & Dripper, promised some new trails/tracks so there was a bit of expectation among the pack. We had some competition from the thousands of people at the park having a jolly good time birthday partying ! We got free chips .... no complaints.
The runners were dispatched first by Dripper, this was so that Pink Bits could advise the walkers that THEY would have a drink stop ! Sadly, the runners were not going to be passing that way !
The walkers were sent off into a bush/BMX track then on to the (ridiculous) 500mtrs on the pavement along the busy highway. However, after that the well marked walk wound its way down some new tracks/gravel roads (more development ?) arriving at the Pina Colada drink stop. Need I say more ... an unequivocal success, rated highly by walkers. The runner's trail was not particularly long, but apparently, occasionally, confusing a bit ! They did have some tough slogging but still enjoyed their run. (apart from not having the superb drink stop !)
As I sat at the DS waiting for the walkers, I was giggling a lot that the runners, horn blown loudly, were only about 50 mtrs away ! Still, sorry, their trail was set elsewhere ! ! !
Back at the train park, the GM (stand-in Pink Bits - multitasking again) called the circle, noting that this week everyone was back. The partying was still happening as Snake Charmer got into the sack race - and WON - awkward ... not sure if the birthday person was upset - Could have been a 50th !!!
The Hares were called in the circle (groan) and given a down down for a good run. Then the (often absent without a note) RA charged the late arrivees and other sundries HOWEVER, Dripper kept being charged for not including runners for the drink stop ! Snake Charmer got a very unusual charge ..... for being somewhat reluctant to keep on traill once his friends, the *bull ants* showed up ! Good charge ! GPS faced a down down for forgetting his mask - disappointing ... and maybe there was another charge or two from the floor.
We then sang the song and proceeded to BBQ (NOTE: Little Weed was charged for cooking a sausage BEFORE we started the circle - appalling)
On On
Pink Bits xxx
Run #2008 18/04/21
The *Trail With No Trail* Run
Terrific turnout on a sunny Sunday. We had quite a few visitors, possibly new victims... err ... I mean participants if we didn't scare them off ! Great to meet some family members of Rock Bottom ...
The Hare's Passiona & Leapfrog gave a short chalk talk, outlining the trail was of varying length (if you could believe them !) and walkers had the option of a regular and short version.
So off we went, funnily enough, walkers were soon zig-zagging through very light bush so there was almost a competition to short cut ... tsk tsk....
The trail for all was very pleasant, meandering on some shady tracks. We were following the usual blobs of flour UNTIL ... we weren't !
Lets just say the trail had about a cup of flour marking it ... the Hare's were very frugal !
Once we returned (eventually) DOSH called the circle and we got on with the business of charges. Just then, we noticed that Scooby-Doo was absent (we had plenty of beer and some daylight on our side ...) However, we continued with the proceedings. Charges flowed for the Hare's, for minimal markings etc and there was a special charge for Passiona for *kicking out* the short walk directions ! GPS as stand-in RA tried to call the pack to some order, but as usual was very disappointed. He could not bestow on anyone the Lame Duck hat or Safety Bra this week ! There were 2 latecomers (Pick-Up-Chick & Porno King) who had strange alibi's as to their lateness. One of our little visitors had a birthday so the pack gushed out their best "Happy Birthday" only to have some tears from her (sorry ...)
We sang the song as Scooby returned to the fold ... unharmed and un-bloodied, just a bit lost !
We had Nosh ! It was very good ... thanks LMF !
On-On
PB xxx
The *Trail With No Trail* Run
Terrific turnout on a sunny Sunday. We had quite a few visitors, possibly new victims... err ... I mean participants if we didn't scare them off ! Great to meet some family members of Rock Bottom ...
The Hare's Passiona & Leapfrog gave a short chalk talk, outlining the trail was of varying length (if you could believe them !) and walkers had the option of a regular and short version.
So off we went, funnily enough, walkers were soon zig-zagging through very light bush so there was almost a competition to short cut ... tsk tsk....
The trail for all was very pleasant, meandering on some shady tracks. We were following the usual blobs of flour UNTIL ... we weren't !
Lets just say the trail had about a cup of flour marking it ... the Hare's were very frugal !
Once we returned (eventually) DOSH called the circle and we got on with the business of charges. Just then, we noticed that Scooby-Doo was absent (we had plenty of beer and some daylight on our side ...) However, we continued with the proceedings. Charges flowed for the Hare's, for minimal markings etc and there was a special charge for Passiona for *kicking out* the short walk directions ! GPS as stand-in RA tried to call the pack to some order, but as usual was very disappointed. He could not bestow on anyone the Lame Duck hat or Safety Bra this week ! There were 2 latecomers (Pick-Up-Chick & Porno King) who had strange alibi's as to their lateness. One of our little visitors had a birthday so the pack gushed out their best "Happy Birthday" only to have some tears from her (sorry ...)
We sang the song as Scooby returned to the fold ... unharmed and un-bloodied, just a bit lost !
We had Nosh ! It was very good ... thanks LMF !
On-On
PB xxx
Run # 2007 11/04/21
Location: Somewhere along Toodjay road, just after the top end of the Swan valley
Hare: SKIPPY
Despite torrential rain all morning quite a few dedicated hashers assembled in a parking place just off the Toodjay road, well – all except GPS who despite shredding rubber couldn’t get his car over the kerb and so parked across the road on a lower bit!
WACUDA attempted to call the circle, but was told that there was a pecking order and hence our Stand-in GM LEAPFROG called the pack and announced the start of the run. SKIPPY was the hare and informed the eager pack that there were 3 trails; a Short walk (SW), a Long walk (LW) and a Run (R or blobs). He also informed that the run would be tough, not long but hard, and that there was a very steep hill that could only be avoided by doing the Short Walk.
The run and the LW covered a lot of the same ground, so we saw all the walkers occasionally. In fact we had a walker in our pack, as SCOOBY-DOO decided that he couldn’t run but would walk the runners trail (and was in fact faster than some of the runners). The trail was excellently laid, but went straight through prickly bush (ow), straight up loose gravel mountains, and along a loose precipice. It wasn’t long (approx 4 kms) but was hard as SKIPPY had promised.
Back at the parking lot when everyone had returned LEAPFROG gave the hare SKIPPY a well-deserved down-down, the RA SHEEP-SHUNTER had returned and then took over. DRIPPER was dripping blood so was awarded a beer (to help it flow?) and the safety bra to remind him to avoid ultra-prickly bushes and the ground in future. SCOOBY-DOO was also awarded a down-down for managing to not get injured. GPS was awarded a DD for his fantastic driving skills earlier and to help compensate for the lost tyre rubber he left on the road trying to enter the car pack. Whilst the pack had been eating chips after the run, LEAPFROG had been collecting rocks (to turn into frogs?) and hence was rewarded with a DD for her efforts. There was one beer left, so SHEEP SHUNTER received it as a long-time-no-see - LIGHT MY FIRE escaped the down downs but recorded everything, and next week she is cooking :).
No announcements, next weeks run is somewhere near Mundaring Dam.
On-Out – PORNO KING
Location: Somewhere along Toodjay road, just after the top end of the Swan valley
Hare: SKIPPY
Despite torrential rain all morning quite a few dedicated hashers assembled in a parking place just off the Toodjay road, well – all except GPS who despite shredding rubber couldn’t get his car over the kerb and so parked across the road on a lower bit!
WACUDA attempted to call the circle, but was told that there was a pecking order and hence our Stand-in GM LEAPFROG called the pack and announced the start of the run. SKIPPY was the hare and informed the eager pack that there were 3 trails; a Short walk (SW), a Long walk (LW) and a Run (R or blobs). He also informed that the run would be tough, not long but hard, and that there was a very steep hill that could only be avoided by doing the Short Walk.
The run and the LW covered a lot of the same ground, so we saw all the walkers occasionally. In fact we had a walker in our pack, as SCOOBY-DOO decided that he couldn’t run but would walk the runners trail (and was in fact faster than some of the runners). The trail was excellently laid, but went straight through prickly bush (ow), straight up loose gravel mountains, and along a loose precipice. It wasn’t long (approx 4 kms) but was hard as SKIPPY had promised.
Back at the parking lot when everyone had returned LEAPFROG gave the hare SKIPPY a well-deserved down-down, the RA SHEEP-SHUNTER had returned and then took over. DRIPPER was dripping blood so was awarded a beer (to help it flow?) and the safety bra to remind him to avoid ultra-prickly bushes and the ground in future. SCOOBY-DOO was also awarded a down-down for managing to not get injured. GPS was awarded a DD for his fantastic driving skills earlier and to help compensate for the lost tyre rubber he left on the road trying to enter the car pack. Whilst the pack had been eating chips after the run, LEAPFROG had been collecting rocks (to turn into frogs?) and hence was rewarded with a DD for her efforts. There was one beer left, so SHEEP SHUNTER received it as a long-time-no-see - LIGHT MY FIRE escaped the down downs but recorded everything, and next week she is cooking :).
No announcements, next weeks run is somewhere near Mundaring Dam.
On-Out – PORNO KING
Run 2007, 11/04/21
A small pack of regulars met at the corner of Neuman Rd, Redhill for Skippy's run
The showers had cleared and the hashers were up for what was claimed by the Hare to be a run with EVERYTHING!
It did not dissapoint and proved to be a real challange for both the runners and walkers.
We had lots of hills, but also a few cleared flat bits. These provided a respite before tackling the thick bush bashing, steep rock climbs, ravines and river crossings (luckily filled with just a few puddles).
The pack came back happy a mostly unscathed by the tough terrain.
Dripper was awarded the Lame Duck for his impressive bloody arm - an encounter with just one too many scratchy bushes.
Sheep Shunter was back from the North and enjoyed dishing out fines. Scooby was given a down down for staying upright during the run with no visible damage.
We all congratulated the Monk on keeping the rain away we all hope the tropical cyclone bearing down up the coast, stays away too.
On On
Leapfrog
A small pack of regulars met at the corner of Neuman Rd, Redhill for Skippy's run
The showers had cleared and the hashers were up for what was claimed by the Hare to be a run with EVERYTHING!
It did not dissapoint and proved to be a real challange for both the runners and walkers.
We had lots of hills, but also a few cleared flat bits. These provided a respite before tackling the thick bush bashing, steep rock climbs, ravines and river crossings (luckily filled with just a few puddles).
The pack came back happy a mostly unscathed by the tough terrain.
Dripper was awarded the Lame Duck for his impressive bloody arm - an encounter with just one too many scratchy bushes.
Sheep Shunter was back from the North and enjoyed dishing out fines. Scooby was given a down down for staying upright during the run with no visible damage.
We all congratulated the Monk on keeping the rain away we all hope the tropical cyclone bearing down up the coast, stays away too.
On On
Leapfrog
04/04/21
*Death By Chocolate* Run
Hares DOSH and WACUDA were our hosts on this Easter Bunny run. Always a good day and the weather was perfect. The runners and walkers were advised that the drink stop was worth the lengthy run (not walk) so we set off to navigate the suburb and cause some mirth among the locals with our bunny ears.
The walk was a very pleasant meander through some parks, leafy back trails and quiet streets. Suddenly, we came across the playground park where the GM was presiding (presidentially ...) over the intriguing chocolate eggs filled with an amazing liquid that was so choco-coffee good ! We have some great innovations at Hills Hash !
Moving on to let the runners catch up, (well we had to ......) we travelled about 900 mtrs back to the venue - smiling !
Once the runners returned, GM called the circle and the Hares were charged immediately. It was a great run/walk ... the stand-in RA, Dripper, did his best in his cumbersome attire. Charges were for the likes of long-time no see Hot Mama & Jackson. Others were for Franger saying the run was 11 km yet REAL Hashers said it was 9 ! Pink Bits for dressing up too much, and some others that were just too many to list ! It went on a bit this week but was very funny.
We sang the song and got stuck into a lovely BBQ to end off the evening.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
*Death By Chocolate* Run
Hares DOSH and WACUDA were our hosts on this Easter Bunny run. Always a good day and the weather was perfect. The runners and walkers were advised that the drink stop was worth the lengthy run (not walk) so we set off to navigate the suburb and cause some mirth among the locals with our bunny ears.
The walk was a very pleasant meander through some parks, leafy back trails and quiet streets. Suddenly, we came across the playground park where the GM was presiding (presidentially ...) over the intriguing chocolate eggs filled with an amazing liquid that was so choco-coffee good ! We have some great innovations at Hills Hash !
Moving on to let the runners catch up, (well we had to ......) we travelled about 900 mtrs back to the venue - smiling !
Once the runners returned, GM called the circle and the Hares were charged immediately. It was a great run/walk ... the stand-in RA, Dripper, did his best in his cumbersome attire. Charges were for the likes of long-time no see Hot Mama & Jackson. Others were for Franger saying the run was 11 km yet REAL Hashers said it was 9 ! Pink Bits for dressing up too much, and some others that were just too many to list ! It went on a bit this week but was very funny.
We sang the song and got stuck into a lovely BBQ to end off the evening.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
28/03/21
A **Scoobaliscious* Run !
Armed with the usual talcum power, the Hare arrived to join the assembled pack, looking somewhat hot and bothered ! This was going to be a long run in the leafy, HILLY suburb of Darlington ... nothing darling about it ... !
After run instructions, the pack took off vaguely in the same direction and soon separated. Walkers trudged on for quite some time before there was even a very slight turn towards home. No ... sorry ... my mistake - there was a further veer AWAY from home. However, it was a pleasant walk on fairly bushy, shady tracks. Occasionally, we heard a horn sound but it was far, far away (in a galaxy over there !) Suddenly, the penny dropped and we realised that the Hare had chosen the magnificent quarry as a drink stop. It was a great drink stop, worthy of the Hare, his efforts would not go un-noticed !
Getting back to the start was a bit of a trial, as it was numerous kilometers away ... took ages ... but everyone assembled at the end .... or did they ? No sign of the GM and WACUDA Hmmmm ... assured that they HAD been seen on the trail, we just partied on till they arrived (It was getting a bit dark)
Circle called (by the somewhat puffed out GM) the Hare got his come-uppance, various others got down-downs and then the RA (stand in GPS - disappointed as he was - came up with a few charges. Skippy was called up for thinking the run should have started at 4pm in March (OMG) whilst other Hashers were afforded some accolades ! New badge was presented to Flying Nun, which she loved and instantly wore !
The song was sung and we disappeared into the dark.
A reminder runs start at 4pm from now on ...
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
A **Scoobaliscious* Run !
Armed with the usual talcum power, the Hare arrived to join the assembled pack, looking somewhat hot and bothered ! This was going to be a long run in the leafy, HILLY suburb of Darlington ... nothing darling about it ... !
After run instructions, the pack took off vaguely in the same direction and soon separated. Walkers trudged on for quite some time before there was even a very slight turn towards home. No ... sorry ... my mistake - there was a further veer AWAY from home. However, it was a pleasant walk on fairly bushy, shady tracks. Occasionally, we heard a horn sound but it was far, far away (in a galaxy over there !) Suddenly, the penny dropped and we realised that the Hare had chosen the magnificent quarry as a drink stop. It was a great drink stop, worthy of the Hare, his efforts would not go un-noticed !
Getting back to the start was a bit of a trial, as it was numerous kilometers away ... took ages ... but everyone assembled at the end .... or did they ? No sign of the GM and WACUDA Hmmmm ... assured that they HAD been seen on the trail, we just partied on till they arrived (It was getting a bit dark)
Circle called (by the somewhat puffed out GM) the Hare got his come-uppance, various others got down-downs and then the RA (stand in GPS - disappointed as he was - came up with a few charges. Skippy was called up for thinking the run should have started at 4pm in March (OMG) whilst other Hashers were afforded some accolades ! New badge was presented to Flying Nun, which she loved and instantly wore !
The song was sung and we disappeared into the dark.
A reminder runs start at 4pm from now on ...
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
21/03/21
O Sole Crusher !
Good run eh ? In the absence of Rock Bottom, he did a good job !
We amassed in the lovely park in Walliston and Crusher gave us instructions, including to a drink stop.
We set off in the same direction, (wasn't there a band called that ?) (ed. that was One Direction) and soon wound our way through some lovely shady tracks culminating at the lovely bubbly drink stop. It seems that the runners (shock !) had beaten the walkers and been there done that already ! Still we spent a few moments enjoying the vibes and then carried on to the start.
Once the GM called the circle, the Hare was called in for the usual down-down followed swiftly by the GM being fined for forgetting the names of her pack members ... (shocking) She then announced that a naming was to happen and it was very, very good ! Angela is now known as * AQUARIARSE* due to water bottle carrying on her hips (you had to see it - and she went to a lot of trouble to try and hide it)
We then had the stand-in RA fining the Hare for setting trail through private property (a few walkers were admonished by a home owner for being on her property) These things happen and it was accidental ... if you are a home owner ! There were a few other charges for some young 'uns who were actually trampolining on said private property equipment (AND OWNING UP TO IT !)
Anyway, all was good at the end and Hills Hash will live to run another day ! El Keeno got to drink out of his shoe (yummy) and the sun set we sang the song and chatted to some Perth Hashers who were (funnily enough) setting their own run for Monday night ! Get a life people !
On-On
PB xxx
O Sole Crusher !
Good run eh ? In the absence of Rock Bottom, he did a good job !
We amassed in the lovely park in Walliston and Crusher gave us instructions, including to a drink stop.
We set off in the same direction, (wasn't there a band called that ?) (ed. that was One Direction) and soon wound our way through some lovely shady tracks culminating at the lovely bubbly drink stop. It seems that the runners (shock !) had beaten the walkers and been there done that already ! Still we spent a few moments enjoying the vibes and then carried on to the start.
Once the GM called the circle, the Hare was called in for the usual down-down followed swiftly by the GM being fined for forgetting the names of her pack members ... (shocking) She then announced that a naming was to happen and it was very, very good ! Angela is now known as * AQUARIARSE* due to water bottle carrying on her hips (you had to see it - and she went to a lot of trouble to try and hide it)
We then had the stand-in RA fining the Hare for setting trail through private property (a few walkers were admonished by a home owner for being on her property) These things happen and it was accidental ... if you are a home owner ! There were a few other charges for some young 'uns who were actually trampolining on said private property equipment (AND OWNING UP TO IT !)
Anyway, all was good at the end and Hills Hash will live to run another day ! El Keeno got to drink out of his shoe (yummy) and the sun set we sang the song and chatted to some Perth Hashers who were (funnily enough) setting their own run for Monday night ! Get a life people !
On-On
PB xxx
14/03/21
St. Patrick's Parkerville Parade.
A really nice day had the pack meeting at Maid Muffins home, dressed in every shade of green, in honour of St Patrick. Joint Hare's, Maid Muffin and Dripper, gave some run and walk instructions - including the fact that there was a drink stop - and we set off. Walkers were almost instantly lost, as the front runners had not been listening at the start (or was that the other left ?) The trail meandered through leafy public open spaces and quiet roads and eventually wound up at the drink stop location. Walkers got there first and were treated to GREEN beverages which was a nice touch ! We were about to leave as the runners came bounding in, (thank goodness we left some drinks for them ....)
It was only a short distance back to the start and the stand-in GM called the circle. The run & walk had been deemed excellent, so down-downs were distributed ... this time shots of the famous Guinness (a pleasure for some/painful for others)
The stand-in RA then ventured out with a few random charges and eventually, opened up to the floor. There were some significant presentations -
Crusher & SNB got plates and a stack of Hashers got their badges ! (Too many to name)
Then we sang the song and went on to enjoy some home made snacks - thanks Maid Muffin !
On-On
P B xxx
St. Patrick's Parkerville Parade.
A really nice day had the pack meeting at Maid Muffins home, dressed in every shade of green, in honour of St Patrick. Joint Hare's, Maid Muffin and Dripper, gave some run and walk instructions - including the fact that there was a drink stop - and we set off. Walkers were almost instantly lost, as the front runners had not been listening at the start (or was that the other left ?) The trail meandered through leafy public open spaces and quiet roads and eventually wound up at the drink stop location. Walkers got there first and were treated to GREEN beverages which was a nice touch ! We were about to leave as the runners came bounding in, (thank goodness we left some drinks for them ....)
It was only a short distance back to the start and the stand-in GM called the circle. The run & walk had been deemed excellent, so down-downs were distributed ... this time shots of the famous Guinness (a pleasure for some/painful for others)
The stand-in RA then ventured out with a few random charges and eventually, opened up to the floor. There were some significant presentations -
Crusher & SNB got plates and a stack of Hashers got their badges ! (Too many to name)
Then we sang the song and went on to enjoy some home made snacks - thanks Maid Muffin !
On-On
P B xxx
07/03/21
Kadina Brook Trials
The pack assembled at an unusual venue this week. The Hare, Free Beer, indicated that it was NEAR a property (# 90) and true to form, one Hasher managed to go up the driveway and interact with the bemused and confused residents (who just wanted their food delivery box taken away !)
Still, it was a good turnout - the Hare gave run & walk instructions and advised that there WAS a drink stop !
The pack took off, trailing in a number of directions, fully aware we were in a hilly zone ... the Hash Horn could be heard constantly, keeping some runners together (but not all ...) Walkers trudged up some serious gravelly tracks then came down some more. Eventually, all trails led to the drink stop which was very welcome. The track back was downhill and we re-assembled at the start. After some more refreshment, the circle was called. The run was scored highly and in the absence of the Hare (and assistants) Skimpy was the lucky recipient of the down-down.
GPS as stand-in RA - performed his duties competently, inviting (prodding) various runners and walkers in for a charge. Of note, Snake Charmer was charged for throwing himself on to an ant nest (Oh really ... ?) resulting in a number of bites !!! Dripper, Porno King and Scooby Doo fined themselves for short-cutting.
There were some long time no-sees .... El Keeno and Co but they had taken off before we could inflict the usual punishment.
Once Hash business was concluded, we sang our song and melted into the night. (Getting darker earlier ...)
On-On
PB xxx
Kadina Brook Trials
The pack assembled at an unusual venue this week. The Hare, Free Beer, indicated that it was NEAR a property (# 90) and true to form, one Hasher managed to go up the driveway and interact with the bemused and confused residents (who just wanted their food delivery box taken away !)
Still, it was a good turnout - the Hare gave run & walk instructions and advised that there WAS a drink stop !
The pack took off, trailing in a number of directions, fully aware we were in a hilly zone ... the Hash Horn could be heard constantly, keeping some runners together (but not all ...) Walkers trudged up some serious gravelly tracks then came down some more. Eventually, all trails led to the drink stop which was very welcome. The track back was downhill and we re-assembled at the start. After some more refreshment, the circle was called. The run was scored highly and in the absence of the Hare (and assistants) Skimpy was the lucky recipient of the down-down.
GPS as stand-in RA - performed his duties competently, inviting (prodding) various runners and walkers in for a charge. Of note, Snake Charmer was charged for throwing himself on to an ant nest (Oh really ... ?) resulting in a number of bites !!! Dripper, Porno King and Scooby Doo fined themselves for short-cutting.
There were some long time no-sees .... El Keeno and Co but they had taken off before we could inflict the usual punishment.
Once Hash business was concluded, we sang our song and melted into the night. (Getting darker earlier ...)
On-On
PB xxx
28/02/21
The BIG 2001 Run ... warts 'n all !
WOW - what a great venue, day and fabulous turn-out. We gathered at the Mundaring Weir Rose Garden to celebrate this monumental number of Hills Hash runs. As Hashers started to arrive, we were very happy to see a good number of other clubs being represented. All in all, there were 6 other clubs happy to join in our celebrations.
The Hares, Leapfrog, Passiona & Skippy (all in the family) gave a slightly convoluted chalk talk (Leapfrog took over of course ... and announced that they had a combined total of over 3000 runs - get a life was the catch-cry) We had the choice of the run/walk/short(senior) stagger. Most opted for the run/walk with only a select few opting for the stagger. The latter were not going to reach the drink stop but Pink Bits had advertised a boutique-style interlude back at the start.
So, we set off together but quickly separated in 3 directions. The weir wall had been opened after a lengthy closure, so it was really lovely to cross over to the other side. (Ha Ha - but not the dark side)
As the fit ones ventured uphill and towards the fantastic *drinks with a view* stop, (manned high on the hill by DOSH and her assistants) the slower ones looked in despair at the many, many sets of steps to get back to the start. It was a warmish day, but felt more like a scorcher by the time we got back. Needless to say, the drinks were welcome .... We waited a while before the first walkers came into view, followed a bit later by the rest of the runners - some coming from odd directions - most with rosy red faces ! Hmmmm !
We had a myriad of gorgeous snacks to enjoy with the refreshing beverages to recover from the trials and tribulations. Thanks to all.
Then the GM, DOSH, called the circle to order, but she really had little control of the 55 odd pack ! There was much chatter and camaraderie.
Eventually, the Hares were thanked for a great run ... given 9.9999 & 9.9 points by visitors. There was a 100 run achievement for Hunny Bunny (aaah !) then the RA (having come back from a COVID Druid Conference) started with his observations and charges. We had some wicked prepared shots for down-downs but they seemed popular with most ...All I can say is thank goodness we got rid of them ! Scooby-Doo had the dubious honour of wearing the new safety bra for his gardening incident. Caused a bit of a titter amongst the visitors !
Random charges were flying about but we were keen to get on to the feast provided by Light My Fire so we sang our club song and invited everyone to get stuck in .... there was quite a lot to eat ending with a special 2001 cake created by Leapfrog, complete with rocket ship !
As the sun was dipping down and it was getting a little darker, everyone packed up and departed (back to the flats for many)
It was agreed that it had been a special and successful event. Well done Hills Hash House Harriers. ! ! !
On-On to 3001
Pink Bits xxx
The BIG 2001 Run ... warts 'n all !
WOW - what a great venue, day and fabulous turn-out. We gathered at the Mundaring Weir Rose Garden to celebrate this monumental number of Hills Hash runs. As Hashers started to arrive, we were very happy to see a good number of other clubs being represented. All in all, there were 6 other clubs happy to join in our celebrations.
The Hares, Leapfrog, Passiona & Skippy (all in the family) gave a slightly convoluted chalk talk (Leapfrog took over of course ... and announced that they had a combined total of over 3000 runs - get a life was the catch-cry) We had the choice of the run/walk/short(senior) stagger. Most opted for the run/walk with only a select few opting for the stagger. The latter were not going to reach the drink stop but Pink Bits had advertised a boutique-style interlude back at the start.
So, we set off together but quickly separated in 3 directions. The weir wall had been opened after a lengthy closure, so it was really lovely to cross over to the other side. (Ha Ha - but not the dark side)
As the fit ones ventured uphill and towards the fantastic *drinks with a view* stop, (manned high on the hill by DOSH and her assistants) the slower ones looked in despair at the many, many sets of steps to get back to the start. It was a warmish day, but felt more like a scorcher by the time we got back. Needless to say, the drinks were welcome .... We waited a while before the first walkers came into view, followed a bit later by the rest of the runners - some coming from odd directions - most with rosy red faces ! Hmmmm !
We had a myriad of gorgeous snacks to enjoy with the refreshing beverages to recover from the trials and tribulations. Thanks to all.
Then the GM, DOSH, called the circle to order, but she really had little control of the 55 odd pack ! There was much chatter and camaraderie.
Eventually, the Hares were thanked for a great run ... given 9.9999 & 9.9 points by visitors. There was a 100 run achievement for Hunny Bunny (aaah !) then the RA (having come back from a COVID Druid Conference) started with his observations and charges. We had some wicked prepared shots for down-downs but they seemed popular with most ...All I can say is thank goodness we got rid of them ! Scooby-Doo had the dubious honour of wearing the new safety bra for his gardening incident. Caused a bit of a titter amongst the visitors !
Random charges were flying about but we were keen to get on to the feast provided by Light My Fire so we sang our club song and invited everyone to get stuck in .... there was quite a lot to eat ending with a special 2001 cake created by Leapfrog, complete with rocket ship !
As the sun was dipping down and it was getting a little darker, everyone packed up and departed (back to the flats for many)
It was agreed that it had been a special and successful event. Well done Hills Hash House Harriers. ! ! !
On-On to 3001
Pink Bits xxx
21/02/21
The Backwards, Inside Out & Completely Lost Run !
Good on Porno King for going the extra mile (or two) and coming out of his comfort zone to set a Hills run in hilly Kalamunda.
He had gone to a lot of trouble to engineer a special W tin for walkers and put down just enough trail for runners. Or so it seemed ...
We set off on a variety of walks and one official run. This having been the home of a certain Hashers elbow bash (Pink Bits) some tried an alternative to even the short walk. (Where there were no hills)
Basically, runners and walkers found the terrain somewhat steep in parts, and lost a bit of trail here and there. When I say lost, we also lost a couple of Hashers .... more on that later ! Mostly everyone arrived back at about the same time and the GM got us to circle up ! However, this was the point at which the lost Hashers were noticed missing - so to speak. Doing our usual eye-roll, we continued with business till one Hasher came back (Skimpy)
The charges were as per usual, with the Hare getting so many complaints, it MUST have been a good run. Also, there was a very convoluted charge for Snake Charmer that really backfired on Pink Bits. Can't win them all - The GM was anxious to look for the still missing other Hasher, so we closed proceedings with the song ! Little Weed was then spotted wending her way back ... was that a rather flushed face ... was she in training for a gruelling hike in Tassie ? Was she practicing at getting lost ?
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
ON-ON to the 2001 RUN next week !
The Backwards, Inside Out & Completely Lost Run !
Good on Porno King for going the extra mile (or two) and coming out of his comfort zone to set a Hills run in hilly Kalamunda.
He had gone to a lot of trouble to engineer a special W tin for walkers and put down just enough trail for runners. Or so it seemed ...
We set off on a variety of walks and one official run. This having been the home of a certain Hashers elbow bash (Pink Bits) some tried an alternative to even the short walk. (Where there were no hills)
Basically, runners and walkers found the terrain somewhat steep in parts, and lost a bit of trail here and there. When I say lost, we also lost a couple of Hashers .... more on that later ! Mostly everyone arrived back at about the same time and the GM got us to circle up ! However, this was the point at which the lost Hashers were noticed missing - so to speak. Doing our usual eye-roll, we continued with business till one Hasher came back (Skimpy)
The charges were as per usual, with the Hare getting so many complaints, it MUST have been a good run. Also, there was a very convoluted charge for Snake Charmer that really backfired on Pink Bits. Can't win them all - The GM was anxious to look for the still missing other Hasher, so we closed proceedings with the song ! Little Weed was then spotted wending her way back ... was that a rather flushed face ... was she in training for a gruelling hike in Tassie ? Was she practicing at getting lost ?
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
ON-ON to the 2001 RUN next week !
14/02/21
The *Very Voluptuous Valentine's Day* Run !
WOW ! What a veritable bevvy of beauties frocked up for the annual *put your lingerie on* run. The Hare's Pink Bits & Dripper had set the run to maximise exposure to the unsuspecting public. Of course the boys outdid the girls (So what's new there ...) resplendent in outrageous frou-frou ...
The chalk talk given, the pack set off in opposite directions. It was a cloudy muggy day, so the run and walk were tailored to the conditions. We wound our way through some bridle paths, back alleys and eventually through the township of Mundaring. Especially exciting was to run the gauntlet past the pub verandah, where we were waved on by patrons enjoying a refreshing ale or two. With sights set on our own refreshments, walkers hurried back to the start and a short time later, the runners came mincing in ... Lovely !
GM called the circle and of course the Hare's got the mandatory down-down Run and walk were deemed good and GPS won best dressed sleaze-bag ! OOPS ! I meant best lingerie dressed ... Passiona was sporting our new *Safety Bra* which will need to be available for the 2001 run.
We did the song thing and had some nibbies.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
New t-shirts were provided by Leapfrog but if you haven't paid ($15) or got yours, see her this Sunday
The *Very Voluptuous Valentine's Day* Run !
WOW ! What a veritable bevvy of beauties frocked up for the annual *put your lingerie on* run. The Hare's Pink Bits & Dripper had set the run to maximise exposure to the unsuspecting public. Of course the boys outdid the girls (So what's new there ...) resplendent in outrageous frou-frou ...
The chalk talk given, the pack set off in opposite directions. It was a cloudy muggy day, so the run and walk were tailored to the conditions. We wound our way through some bridle paths, back alleys and eventually through the township of Mundaring. Especially exciting was to run the gauntlet past the pub verandah, where we were waved on by patrons enjoying a refreshing ale or two. With sights set on our own refreshments, walkers hurried back to the start and a short time later, the runners came mincing in ... Lovely !
GM called the circle and of course the Hare's got the mandatory down-down Run and walk were deemed good and GPS won best dressed sleaze-bag ! OOPS ! I meant best lingerie dressed ... Passiona was sporting our new *Safety Bra* which will need to be available for the 2001 run.
We did the song thing and had some nibbies.
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
New t-shirts were provided by Leapfrog but if you haven't paid ($15) or got yours, see her this Sunday
07/02/21
The *May The Force Be With You* Run or *Where's Yoda ?*
Despite the impending rain, a goodly bunch of COVID masked Hashers gathered under the sheltering verandah of a gymnastics studio. Very apt in view of all our athletes ! The theme this week (Star Wars) was chosen by Snake Charmer who was a *sort of* Hare, but mostly it was his Dad SNB who set the trail. He gave a few instructions which included the fact that the walk was fairly short but the run was of a decent length. Just as well, we thought, as the rain was setting in somewhat, so umbrellas were required. Of course, this did not put a damper on the splendid costumes worn by many of the Hashers.
Walkers returned in record time, so did the walk again ! (It seems that we had missed part of the trail.) Runners were *far, far away - in another galaxy* so took some time to get back. We huddled together whilst having a refreshing bevvy, then the GM called the circle. The run was generally considered good, even though no-one found the small hidden Yoda's in the bush ! Down-downs to the Hare's. We welcomed back Angela, Fire Extinguisher and Franger (magnificently dressed up as YODA) as long-time no-sees. This week, the surprise RA was Passiona and the BIG surprise was that he was charged, along with Dripper, for stuffing up the website. Good charge ! All sorted now, we hope??? There were a few other charges, as usual !
After much mirth and mayhem, we sang the song and scarpered as visibility was getting pretty bad. Or was that Storm Troopers in the distance ???
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
REMINDER: Bring $15 next week for new T-shirts - 2001 Run
The *May The Force Be With You* Run or *Where's Yoda ?*
Despite the impending rain, a goodly bunch of COVID masked Hashers gathered under the sheltering verandah of a gymnastics studio. Very apt in view of all our athletes ! The theme this week (Star Wars) was chosen by Snake Charmer who was a *sort of* Hare, but mostly it was his Dad SNB who set the trail. He gave a few instructions which included the fact that the walk was fairly short but the run was of a decent length. Just as well, we thought, as the rain was setting in somewhat, so umbrellas were required. Of course, this did not put a damper on the splendid costumes worn by many of the Hashers.
Walkers returned in record time, so did the walk again ! (It seems that we had missed part of the trail.) Runners were *far, far away - in another galaxy* so took some time to get back. We huddled together whilst having a refreshing bevvy, then the GM called the circle. The run was generally considered good, even though no-one found the small hidden Yoda's in the bush ! Down-downs to the Hare's. We welcomed back Angela, Fire Extinguisher and Franger (magnificently dressed up as YODA) as long-time no-sees. This week, the surprise RA was Passiona and the BIG surprise was that he was charged, along with Dripper, for stuffing up the website. Good charge ! All sorted now, we hope??? There were a few other charges, as usual !
After much mirth and mayhem, we sang the song and scarpered as visibility was getting pretty bad. Or was that Storm Troopers in the distance ???
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
REMINDER: Bring $15 next week for new T-shirts - 2001 Run
31/01/21
Another COVID-esque Run
With only moments to spare, the small pack hastily gathered at the designated spot to fit in a short run prior to lockdown ! The Hare, GPS, stated it was a short run and walk because of the heat, not knowing that lockdown was imminent.
He was able to herd the walkers on a short tour of the local sights, but runners being keen, wanted the full run !
On return, walkers were happily consuming refreshments for some time before the red-faced, puffed out runners came back complaining that it was *a bit long*
Poor things ...
As the doomsday clock ticked down towards zero, we had a mini circle and it was amusing (as I recall) and a few down-downs were awarded for the usual random silliness. Run was deemed good, we sang the song, (to the amusement of some passing dog walkers ...) and raced off to be home to pull up the drawbridges once the clock struck 6 !
On-On
A weary PB x
Another COVID-esque Run
With only moments to spare, the small pack hastily gathered at the designated spot to fit in a short run prior to lockdown ! The Hare, GPS, stated it was a short run and walk because of the heat, not knowing that lockdown was imminent.
He was able to herd the walkers on a short tour of the local sights, but runners being keen, wanted the full run !
On return, walkers were happily consuming refreshments for some time before the red-faced, puffed out runners came back complaining that it was *a bit long*
Poor things ...
As the doomsday clock ticked down towards zero, we had a mini circle and it was amusing (as I recall) and a few down-downs were awarded for the usual random silliness. Run was deemed good, we sang the song, (to the amusement of some passing dog walkers ...) and raced off to be home to pull up the drawbridges once the clock struck 6 !
On-On
A weary PB x
24/01/21
The *Really Good Effort* Run.
We met at the home of Choir Girl (one of the Hare's) and were quickly taking refreshments and eyeing the sparkling pool ! Some early arrivees had already partaken of a cooling swim (as they had come from the flats - in other words a long, somewhat roundabout way !)
The stand-in GM got the circle (L -shaped) going and welcomed one and all. The 2 Hares, Choir Girl and Little Weed, went into some rambling description of their markings of trail which was so convoluted we did not pay much attention.
Runners and walkers were soon off keeping a close eye on the W's, blobs, checks and FT's. A drink stop was promised and with the cool pool being available, everyone put on a spurt. Arriving at the drink stop, Choir Girl was SHOCKED AND AMAZED that the runners got there so quick ! Was she thinking that they were strolling ??? Not our athletes ... !
Great drink stop and a short distance back home. The pack was called to form an L shape again and the Hares got numerous down-downs (deservedly) for all sorts of reasons. The RA had returned (from his secret druids business) but was in fine form dishing out the punishments with his usual gusto ! Poor Cherry was charged for leaning (get with the program) and a few others were given the same fine.
Other business was about our new shirts that have arrived in Australia after doing 2 weeks quarantine in a 5 star hotel ! (Or is that boat ?) Bring money next week to order yours ! We then sang the song and got on with the business of swimming & BBQ - ing ... sort of an early Aussie Day !
Good run !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx
The *Really Good Effort* Run.
We met at the home of Choir Girl (one of the Hare's) and were quickly taking refreshments and eyeing the sparkling pool ! Some early arrivees had already partaken of a cooling swim (as they had come from the flats - in other words a long, somewhat roundabout way !)
The stand-in GM got the circle (L -shaped) going and welcomed one and all. The 2 Hares, Choir Girl and Little Weed, went into some rambling description of their markings of trail which was so convoluted we did not pay much attention.
Runners and walkers were soon off keeping a close eye on the W's, blobs, checks and FT's. A drink stop was promised and with the cool pool being available, everyone put on a spurt. Arriving at the drink stop, Choir Girl was SHOCKED AND AMAZED that the runners got there so quick ! Was she thinking that they were strolling ??? Not our athletes ... !
Great drink stop and a short distance back home. The pack was called to form an L shape again and the Hares got numerous down-downs (deservedly) for all sorts of reasons. The RA had returned (from his secret druids business) but was in fine form dishing out the punishments with his usual gusto ! Poor Cherry was charged for leaning (get with the program) and a few others were given the same fine.
Other business was about our new shirts that have arrived in Australia after doing 2 weeks quarantine in a 5 star hotel ! (Or is that boat ?) Bring money next week to order yours ! We then sang the song and got on with the business of swimming & BBQ - ing ... sort of an early Aussie Day !
Good run !
On-On
Pink Bits xxx